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WWE Suspends Alberto Del Rio And Paige For Wellness Violations

By
Brian Grey
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0

WWE announced that both Alberto Del Rio and Paige have been suspended for 30 days for their first violations of the company’s Wellness Policy.

WWE issued the following statements:

WWE announced today that they have suspended Jose Rodriguez, a.k.a. Alberto Del Rio, for 30 days effective tomorrow, Thursday, Aug. 18, for his first violation of the Wellness Policy.

Del Rio wrestled on last night’s episode of WWE SmackDown, losing to John Cena in the main event on the show. It’s been reported that Del Rio has an out clause in his contract for September.

WWE suspends Paige

STAMFORD, Conn. — WWE has suspended Saraya-Jade Bevis (Paige) for 30 days effective tomorrow, Thursday, Aug. 18, for her first violation of the company’s talent wellness policy.

The “OH MY GOD!” Review: ECW TV

By
Heels Inc
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0

TV 1995-02-07 (Matches taped 1995-02-04 Double Tables at ECW Arena in Philadelphia, Pa)

Champions

World: “The Franchise” Shane Douglas
TV: Dean Malenko
Tag: Sabu & Tazmaniac

Ring intro from Public Enemy.

Opening video.

We get the Jason promo followed by the opening 6-Man Match from Double Tables as well as the aftermath with Hack Meyers and Angel. From there we see the awesome “Snowman” Al Snow versus “Crippler” Chris Benoit match. Still shots of the Tag Team Title Match with video of the Benoit power bomb at the end and then the Benoit promo from the end of the home video.

My thoughts on the show…

Snow Benoit is sooooooo good!!!! Nothing at all new here though so if you watched Double Tables you can easily pass this one over.

 

TV 1995-02-14 (Matches taped 1995-02-04 Double Tables at ECW Arena in Philadelphia, Pa & 1995-01-14 at Davie Rodeo Arena in Ft. Lauderdale, Fl)

Champions

World: “The Franchise” Shane Douglas
TV: Dean Malenko
Tag: Sabu & Tazmaniac

Last week Sabu and Tazmaniac became Tag Team Champions but it was “Crippler” Chris Benoit who got to celebrate at the end of the night. Benoit highlight video. More promo from Benoit. He talks about the Triple Threat becoming bigger than the Four Horsemen and how he and TV Champion Dean Malenko are going to beat Tag Team Champions Sabu and Tazmaniac for the belts even though everyone is saying that are unbeatable.

Opening video.

Joey Styles welcomes us. Tag Team Title Match signed for the 25th between the new champs and Benoit/Malenko. Joey says PE are no good criminals but when he was stretchered out of the Arena knew that it would not go unanswered. PE has not made a comment about what happened. Joey brings in Paul E Dangerously. Paul E says that Benoit and Malenko think they are going to come in and take away what Sabu and Taz have earned but they have no chance.

We get the Mikey Whipwreck/“Giant” Paul Lauria match from double tables.

Joey talks about the Texas Death Match from Double Tables.

To the Cactus Jack Sandman Falls Count Anywhere match from Florida. We get about 9 minutes of the match. Nothing really new to report that wasn’t on the fan cam. We see a little more of the action in the crowd but it’s just brawling as one would expect.

Joey tells us that Sandman has a concussion so due to PA state law he has automatically been placed on the 21 day disabled list. Joey brings in Sandman to find out how he’s doing. Sandman doesn’t care that he lost that match cause he measures his wins by pints of blood and injures. Since Sandman is out Woman is hiring a new wrestler for the 25th to take on Cactus in his place. Joey runs down some of the upcoming dates for shows.

We go to last week with Hack Meyers and Angel.

“Giant” Paul Lauria is in the ring with Joey Styles. Lauria shit talks Hack for what he did to Jason and Angel. Lauria says he and Mikey aren’t finished. Lauria says 911 is no giant when compared to him. 911 hits the ring and they get nose to nose….errr nose to chest. Lauria pushes Joey who pushes back. Lauria stumbles right into 911 Paul E hits him with his phone and Lauria goes up and hard down. One more. Fans chant “one more time.” Paul E says they can’t so the fans chant “bullshit” at him. So we get a third. This is advertised as being on the Double Tables home video but was actually cut from it.

My thoughts on the show…

Thumbs up on this one. More good stuff from Double Tables and the Florida match was pretty bloody and fun also.

 

TV 1995-02-21 (Matches taped 1995-02-04 Double Tables at ECW Arena in Philadelphia, Pa)

Champions

World: “The Franchise” Shane Douglas
TV: Dean Malenko
Tag: Sabu & Tazmaniac

We open up with a 28 minute interview with World Champion “The Franchise” Shane Douglas. Spliced into the interview are highlights of Douglas’ career in ECW to date. Douglas talks about how in other sports the torch gets passed down when it’s time. Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan haven’t passed the torch the way Bruno Sammartino did. Terry Funk hasn’t passed the torch because he is to stubborn to let his athleticism go. Douglas said it was time for him to knock Funk down and take the torch. Douglas talks about winning and throwing down the NWA Title thrusting himself into legend status. Douglas talks about how in the early 90s he was ready to explode in the WWF when his father got ill. He returned to WCW and was held back by Flair. Everyone told Flair about Douglas. The front office, Steamboat, Arn Anderson and JJ Dillion all told Flair that Douglas was the next great athlete. Flair was able to push Douglas down the card because of his political power. Douglas says that this Saturday Night he takes on Marty Jannetty.

Opening video.

Joey Styles welcomes us back and hypes this Saturday Night at the ECW Arena. Mikey Whipwreck and Hack Meyers against Jason and “Giant” Paul Lauria and Ian and Axl Rotten go at it in a Baseball Bat Barbed Wire Match. Public Enemy is confirmed to be there.

We see the Tommy Dreamer Steve Richards match in which Dreamer gets the win after a nut shot.

Joey informs us that Eddie Gilbert passed away a few days ago and we go to a short tribute video. Back to last week when 911 beat up Paul Lauria. Joey says that Lauria has promised something like that will never happen to him again and he is going to show us this Saturday.

Back to the Chris Benoit power bomb from Double Tables and more Benoit interview. Benoit hypes this Saturday.

Paul E Dangerously is with Joey and again says that the Champions are going to take out Benoit and TV Champion Dean Malekno not the other way around.

Clips of Sandman getting his concussion at the hands of Cactus Jack at Double Tables.

My thoughts on the show…

For sure check this one out. A 28 minute promo to open up a show unheard of! Well at least back then it was. Stuff like this shows just how cutting edge ECW was. Dreamer/Richards was also good.

WWE Smackdown Live Report – August 16, 2016

By
Bobby Mayo
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0

Bobby “The Brain” Mayo back again with another Smackdown Live report. This episode marks the final stop before SummerSlam this weekend. Already scheduled tonight is Dolph & Dean on MizTV, plus Cena vs. Del Rio. Oh yeah, and Eva Marie makes her in-ring debut.. or so she says.

WWE SMACKDOWN PRESHOW BULLET POINTS

  • Wow, I’m pissed. I wrote this two paragraph fucking rant on things and I clicked to save and the computer had a hiccup and now it’s all lost. Fuck sakes. Let me try and praraphrase quickly. The panel is up and running with all 4 talking about Dolph vs. Ambrose at Summerslam. Lita is just absolutely fucking terrible. Just fucking the worst. She says Dolph is getting old and ready to retire and says he will take superkicks and sister Abigails. First, he just tured 36. Second, Dean Ambrose doesn’t do superkicks, Dolph does. Third, Bray Wyatt isn’t in the match. She sounds like a fucking idiot that doesn’t have a clue what she’s talking about.
  • Becky Lynch skypes in. She’s slightly better than Lita but also trips over all her words. She calls Eva Marie’s injuries as fake as her other body parts.
  • Booker T gets real and gets pissy. Claiming the Miz referred to Apollo Crews as Apollo Creed, and Booker was disgusted that someone got his name wrong. No respect.

WWE SMACKDOWN LIVE

August 16, 2016 – AUSTIN, TX
THE FRANK ERWIN CENTER

* For some reason Randy Orton is just now signing his SummerSlam contract to face Brock Lesnar. Sure that’s realistic. Randy is with Bryan and Shane-O-Mac. Heath Slater interrupts the party and brings a fruit basket. He realizes that Shane and Daniel were going to give him a job last week before he left so he wants the job. They tell Heath not right now and they can’t keep giving him chances. Orton says he has an idea, and then we fade into the intro video.

– MIZ-TV WITH DEAN AMBROSE & DOLPH ZIGGLER –

Miz tries to talk but Dean Ambrose cuts him off right away with his intro. Yes Virginia, there is a God! Then Dolph Ziggler cuts off Ambrose right away. They go nose to nose but Miz breaks it up. Now Miz talks. Boooooo. Miz wants to know what Dolph will do if he loses. Dolph isn’t thinking about losing. Dean isn’t buying this new Dolph Ziggler attitude. Miz it told to shut up and he backs away to the corner for the rest of the segment.

Ziggler admits that the WWE has pushed him to the edge with the way he’s been treated. But when he beats Ambrose he will show them, or some shit. Ambrose says Dolph can’t handle pressure and that’s why he always loses. Dean basically calls Dolph a loser with a chip on his shoulder. Dean says Dolph can’t handle pressure and he will be schooled at SummerSlam. Dean says after Dolph loses at SummerSlam he will realize he has never wanted it bad enough, and that he will never get the belt.

Ziggler responds with a whirlwind of comments about Ambrose becoming frustrated when he can’t put Dolph away at the PPV. Dolph Superkicks Ambrose OUTTA NOWHERE. Ziggler informs Dean that he will realize at SummerSlam that Ziggler is that damn good.

There was no point for Miz to even been out here.

– APOLLO CREWS CONFRONTS THE MIZ –

* After a commercial break we return to see video from during the break where Miz remained in the ring and ran down his SummerSlam opponent “Apollo Creed”. This draws Crews out from the back who corrects Miz on his name. Miz continued to call him Creed and ended up taking Crews’ spinning powerbomb.

Isn’t it nice to see so much time being dedicated to the Intercontinental title match? A 30 second segment during a commercial break. Way to get the title back over ya fucks.

12-MAN TAG TEAM ACTION.

– THE USOS, AMERICAN ALPHA, THE HYPE BROS. –
VS.
VAUDEVIILLAINS, ASCENSION, BREEZANGO

This my friends is the Smackdown tag team division. Don’t be shocked if Jimmy Uso even gets used much in this match because last I heard he was nursing some injuries. Not easy to call this thing because there’s a lot of fast tags early and then the Hype Bros look like they’re going for some type of dooms day device when it all breaks down and all 12 guys get in the ring and fight. This takes us to a commercial. After the break is over about 7 wrestlers are laid out on the floor and hot tags are made to English and Jey Uso. Jordan tgas himself in after Jey lays out English. They faces argue. Then everyone starts hitting their finishers and shit on each other. You know the drill. The Hype Bros hit the ROUGEAU FUCKING BOMB! MY NEW FAVORITE TEAM! The guys keep hitting each other with a bunch of shit. Jey Uso hits a dive onto half the match and wipes out most of both teams. Back to the ring American Alpha nail their finisher on Aiden English for the win in 6 minutes.

This was barely anything but a start and a finish. The hot tag happened as soon as they returned from commercials.

Winners are Alpha, Usos, Hype Bros

Want a fun fact about the brand split. Even though things were supposed to be fair, even, whatever you want to call it. Smackdown has garbage for teams and women while Raw has entirely too many good teams being used as jobbers while all the jobber teams are sitting on Smackdown. Another fun fact? Sure! There are 10 matches currently booked for SummerSlam. 6 of them are from Raw, only 3 from Smackdown, and then the interpromotional match. Raw outnumbers Smackdown matches by double the bouts. Why? Because they refuse to give up on Sheamus because he’s ‘big’. So while Bray Wyatt isn’t doing shit, Sheamus gets a pay day fella.

– EVA MARIE VS. NAOMI –

So Naomi comes to ringside glowing in the dark from head to toe. She throws glow sticks or some shit to the fans. The announcer introduces Evan Marie and finishes it by saying that she’s been delayed due to traffic and apologizes. THIS SHIT IS FUCKING HILARIOUS. This announcer is fucking hilarious.

And then this segment just ends. That fast. It’s just over.

* TO THE DEL RIO. AJ Styles stops by ADR getting ready for Cena. AJ gives props to Del Rio for taking Cena out for 9 months. Del Rio shits on AJ. AJ shits on Del Rio and mocks him for not having a match at SummerSlam. The announcers claim AJ is trying to rile Del Rio up for his match with Cena tonight.

* TO THE CURT HAWKINS. Well more like a Curt Hawkins vignette which features Curt Facts. Which is basically a more absurd version of the old Matt Hardy ‘Matt Facts’. Ryder and Hawkins back on Smackdown. It truly is a brand split.

– RANDY ORTON VS. HEATH SLATER –

How’s this for continuity. The first time this has been addressed since the opening video was right now when Orton’s music played. Orton pounds on Heath in the corner for a solid minute and gets disqualified. That’s the entire match.

Winner by DQ is Heathie Baby

After the match Orton beats the shit out of Slater on the floor and hits a draping DDT outside. Heath is thrown back inside to takes a German suplex from Randy who bounces around and mocks Brock Lesnar. A second German follows. Then an RKO ends it.

But Heath won, right? Does this mean he gets a job?

* TO THE DOCTORS. The trainer is with an injured Heath Slater. Bryan & Shane applaud his efforts. Heath thinks Bryan is Foley. They hand him a contract. He thinks Shane is Stephanie, so Shane takes the contract back. Poor Heath.

* TO THE ORTON/WYATT – We learn that Orton and Wyatt crossed paths during the break. It appears Wyatt had some words for Orton as they were making their way to ringside. Foreshadowing?

– DEAN AMBROSE VS. ERICK ROWAN –

Bray Wyatt is with Rown. We’re mere seconds into the match before Dean sends Rowan outside and lands a suicide dive. Rowan turns things around with a spinning powerslam and then takes him outside and works him over. Rowan works the back of Den but misses a boot in the corner. Dean starts hitting his go-to moves. Top rope elbow dive gets 2 for Dean.

Rowan fires back with his one move, the spinning leg kick gets 2. Dean gets out of a powerbomb and hits his clothesline. Dirty Deeds soon after and Dean wins in maybe 6 minutes.

Winner is Dean Ambrose

After the match Bray Wyatt turns his back to Rowan in disgust and throws the sheep mask on the ground. The Wyatts end again?????????? Didn’t they learn the first time?

– BECKY LYNCH & CARMELLA VS. NATALYA & ALEXA BLISS –

The rookies get a little bit of time but not much, thank God. Nattie and Becky get hot tags. Becky with the Exploder. The girls collide. EVA MARIE. EVA MARIE. EVA MARIE. She’s making her debut in the middle of this match. I love this shit. hehe. Eva gets half way down when Naomi’s music hits and she chases Eva around ringside. All this shit distracts the girls in the match but Becky manages to lock in the Dis-arm-her for the tap out win after a couple of minutes of wrestling.

Winners are Becky & Carmella

Naomi celebrates with the winners. Eva looks confused. I’m betting she wasn’t acting. No surprise this gets added to SummerSlam, as a preshow match I’d assume.

* TO THE CORBIN. Baron Corbin is seen beating up on Kalisto again in the back. Kalisto is being made to look like a bitch.

* They air the same Brock/Orton video from last week.

* AJ Styles joins the commentary team for the main event.

– JOHN CENA VS. ALBERTO DEL RIO –

This match isn’t a minute old before Del Rio takes a bump and rolls to the floor and they go to a break. When they come back Del Rio has the advantage with that devastating top rope punch. A video shows Rio got the advantage when AJ distracted Cena. ADR with a German suplex and a bridge gets him a 2 count. Del Rio continues to control, a DDT gets him 2. We go to commercial again.

This time when we come back Cena catches ADR with a dropkick as he’s coming off the top rope. Cena starts hitting his go-to offense. Hits the shuffle. ADR counters the AA into a Back Stabber for 2. Cena tries an STF but Rio responds with a spinning backbreaker. Cena clotheslines Rio right in the fucking face. YOWCH. Cena goes to the top but takes an enzuigiri and Rio gets another near fall.

Cena finally gets the STF on Rio but it doesn’t last. Rio with the Superkick to the face of a kneeling Cena, the same move he beat Cena with last year. Cena kicks out at the last second. Rio blocks another AA into the cross arm breaker. Cena picks him up in the hold and drives ADR into the mat. AA follows. Really shit finish. Cena wins in 17 minutes.

Winner is Cena

John starts to play to the crowd but walks right into a PHENOMENAL FOREARM! Boom. Cena goes out like a light. AJ takes the stick. He’s sick of the future going through John Cena. After Sunday Styles will be the face that runs the place. Cena’s time is up. AJ’s time is now.

AJ starts to leave but decides he wants more. Style goes for the Styles Clash but Cena turns it into the AA. Superman Cena lives.

Cena isn’t done either. He goes to the announce table. AA OFF THE STEEL STEPS THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE. Now AJ HAS to win at SummerSlam. I think Cena actually lost a lot of the fans cheers when he did that.

That’s all from Smackdown Live. There’s NXT and SummerSlam this weekend. Enjoy my friends.

The WWE Raw Report 8/15/16

By
Crazymax Jack
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0

Back again for the go-home Raw to Summer Slam… I’ll keep this short and say let’s just hope they give us something good.

The WWE Raw Preshow Notes 8/15/16

– It’s Stanford, Lawler, Lita, and Booker. They b.s. for a bit with a whole lot of nothing and then we finally go into the Balor/Rollins storyline. Balor means Demon King, not to be confused with Demon Kane. That’s not confusing or anything…

– Holy Foley garbage is coming… No thanks.

– Sasha vs. Charlotte is discussed. Dana is barred from ringside, but does Charlotte have another Plan B?

– There’s a backstage interview from Raw with Darren Young & Bob Backlund. Titus O’Neil immediately interrupts and apologizes for being jealous. He wants to resurrect the Prime Time Playas. D-Young says it’s his singles run and it’s about making him great. Backlund talks Young into reforming the team PTP. Backlund stumbles all over his words and has trouble remembering their tag team name, Titus even looks off camera and laughs. Backlund goes to talk with Foley about getting the PTP a title shot. Wow, that quickly?

– Backstage, Curtis Axel & Bo Dallas confront Jinder Mahal about keeping Heath Slater from getting a job. Mahal has a match with Neville tonight and he will do something the Outcasts can’t do, and that’s win a match.

– Lana was put in cake last week, so Rusev wants to open Raw tonight. Ugh.

– Brock Lesnar returns tonight.

WWE RAW REPORT 8/15/16 from Corpus Christi, TX

– “Last week on Raw” video plays. Lana ate cake.

– Seth Rollins promo from outside the arena… He calls out “the Demon King” but Finn Balor doesn’t show. So Seth says tonight he will find Demon King…

RUSEV & LANA / FOLEY / STEPHANIE / ROMAN REIGNS SEGMENT

Ohhhh, Lana & Rusev are pissed from last week so tonight there will be no Raw. Rusev isn’t leaving the ring until Roman Reigns comes out and apologizes.

Cue Mick Foley. Foley is telling Rusev and Lana to go to the back right now, which totally contradicts the preshow where they announced Rusev was given this time. Rusev wants respect, he refuses to leave the ring and tells Foley he SUCKS. lol. Rusev says Foley isn’t real authority, he wants to see Stephanie McMahon.

Cue Stephanie… Steph and Foley enter the ring. The heels are wayyy too happy to see Stephanie. Steph says Rusev’s behavior is unacceptable. She shits on Rusev for not respecting Foley. Rusev teases going to Smackdown and calling Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon because they respect talent…

Cue Roman Reigns… Roman says he will apologize. Reigns is sorry Rusev found Lana as a amil order bride. He’s sorry they will “bump uglies” and make Sasquatch babies. The fans chant USA and for some reason this crowd is really into Reigns. Roman wants to do the fight tonight. Rusev accepts… But Foley nixes it. Foley likes the idea to defend the honor of his wife, so he books the U.S. Title for Slam… but tonight they fight for Lana’s honor!

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

– Byron Saxton interviews Sheamus about Cesaro. Sheamus said he proved he’s better than Cesaro last week. Fans hate Sheamus.

MATCH #1: SHEAMUS VS. SAMI ZAYN

Zayn comes in scrappy as hell, throws his jacket at Sheamus and they brawl to the mat. They have to be separated to start the match. Cesaro joins the announce table. Sheamus gaints the upper hand but that doesn’t last long. They go to the floor, Zayn tries the diving tornado ddt through the ropes but Sheamus posts him instead. Raw goes to break.

Back from break, Sheamus controls. Kneelift. Clothesline. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets 2. Sheamus with the 10 beats. Zayn comes fighting back and clotheslines Sheamus to the floor. Zayn with a somersault plancha outside. Back inside, Sami runs into White Noise for 2…

Zayn battles back again with a Blue Thunder Bomb for 2. Cole is screwing the names of the moves up bad tonight. Zayn goes for the Helluva Kick but runs into an Irish Curse backbreaker. Sheamus sets up for the Brogue Kick but Cesaro comes to ringside and distracts… Zayn sneaks in the Helluva Kick on Sheamus and scores the win in 10:15.

This one is hard to rate. It wasn’t very good, but it seemed like IF they were asked to have a good match they could. This was a little slow and segmented, Zayn did very little. It wasn’t offensively bad as some Sheamus matches can be, but nothing worth watching either.

– Backstage, Chris Jericho & Kevin Owens promo. They are Jeri-KO. They do some comedy. Owens faces Cass tonight.

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

– Backstage, Sheamus & Cesaro are fighting. Mick Foley separates them and creates a BETS OF SEVEN SERIES between the two. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Poor Cesaro. It starts at Summer Slam… Well that’s bullshit. Cesaro just beat Sheamus twice and those don’t count???

– Another DOCTOR skit with Gallows & Anderson. More “balls” humor.

MATCH #2: WWE TAG CHAMPS NEW DAY VS. THE DUDLEY BOYZ

Big E is still out. D-Von accidentally runs into Bubba, Kofi hits Trouble in paradise and beat the Dudleys in 90 seconds… Yes, seriously…

And then they don’t even show the Dudleys post match or play up any angle… They just cut back to Anderson & Gallows who explode an egg in a microwave. It’s supposed to be Big E’s testicle. New Day respond from the ring. They will win at Slam. This was pure shit.

You have this bad ass team who murdered people and then turn them into a comedy act (a really bad one at that) that crack jokes about balls. And all of this is supposed to lead to a compelling or interesting match at Summer Slam? Crowd isn’t really into it either. Why does EVERYTHING have to be about comedy? Not just comedy, but shitty, unfunny, nobody thinks it’s good, comedy.

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

– Backstage, Seth Rollins is looking for Finn Balor. He runs into Neville, who tells Seth he isn;t ready for the demon king.

MATCH #3: NIA JAX VS. RACHAEL LEVEY
Levy gets an interview like Strowman’s jobbers. Here’s another squash. Jax places Levy on the top rope and shoves her to the floor. Nice bump as Levy plays dead. Jax throws Levy back inside and hits the fireman’s carry into the side slam for the win in 1:00.

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

BROCK LESNAR & PAUL HEYMAN SEGMENT

They enter the ring. Heyman starts to speak when he’s interrupted by….

HEATH SLATER…

Heath interrupts and goes back and forth with Heyman. Paul jokes about Heath wanting to be managed by Paul. But Heath isn’t here for that, Slater was told if he can fight and beat Brock tonight he will have a contract with Raw, and he needs to feed his kids. Rather than a comedy approach, Slater shows balls and says he’s doing this for a job, keeping it fairly serious.

Finally Brock speaks. He tells Heath that he “doesn’t give a shit” about Slater’s kids… Brock tells Heath to either leave or he will kill him. Heath goes to leave but attacks Brock instead. Suplex City. F-5. Slater rolls out. Announcers play up his guts/stupidity.

Heyman then hypes Summer Slam, Lesnar vs. Orton.

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

MATCH #4: BIG CASS (w/ENZO) VS. KEVIN OWENS (w/JERICHO)
Owens sends Cass outside early and Jericho lands a sneak attack. Owens then posts Cass as Raw goes to break…

Back from break, Cass escapes a chinlock but misses a Big Boot as KO low bridges him and Cass falls to the floor. KO wants to do the powerbomb on the apron but Cass counters with a backdrop. Cass works over KO outside the Jericho lays out Enzo, and then Big Cass for the DQ in 6:15.

Cass gets the DQ win, but Jeri-KO beat him down. Cass fights back but eats a KO superkick and the Codebreaker to end the segment…

This match went 6:00, and half of that was commercials. This match was basically non-existent and a backdrop to get the heels a little heat for the tag match at Slam.

– Backstage it’s a really bad Roman Reigns promo. It’s saved by Rusev attacking him. The brawl back and forth with Rusev smashing Reigns into a garage door and then tossing him onto a table and jerking him around… They’re pulled apart to end the segment…

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

MATCH #5: PRIME TIME PLAYAZ (w/BOB BACKLUND) VS. THE SHINING STARS

Backlund does the Millions of Dollars dance. WTF are they doing with the Colons? The PTP dominate early with their signature stuff. Backlund talks with Titus on the apron and Young accidentally runs into O’Neil and knocks him tot he floor… Young nails Primo with a roaring elbow, but Titus gets mad and lands Clash of the Titus on Darren…. Primo climbs on top after a delay and gets the win in maybe 2:00….

Backlund yells at Titus as Titus leaves ringside. What a heel!

Primo & Epico belong on SD to work with American Alpha… This “win” did nothing at all for them. AND we’re promised even more Titus vs. Young junk. Yayyy.

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

MATCH #6: NEVILLE VS. JINDER MAHAL

Jinder gets a little offense. Neville half misses an insane looking red arrow type top rope dive to the floor because Mahal is too far away. Very dangerous… This leads to a Red Arrow and Neville wins in a couple minutes.

Three hours, half the talent roster they used to have, and somehow there’s LESS wrestling than before. How can that be???

– Mick Foley & Stephanie are backstage. Jon Stewart is going to be their guest at Summerslam. Seth Rollins interrupts. He’s trying to find “the demon king”. Rollins gives up, he did his part. He’s ready to take the night off. Foley suggests Rollins try calling Balor out in the ring. I refuse to write “the demon king” every time I mention Balor, but wanted to note that’s all they refer to him as on this show. So he hs two persona names now.

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

SETH ROLLINS CALLS OUT “THE DEMON KING”

Seth cuts a promo. He will be the first Universal champion. He gives the Demon King one more chance to face him right now… But nothing happens… Seth gloats some more. He says Finn Balor is scared of him and is just using this demon king crap to intimidate him. But he’s Seth freakin Rollins and everyone should be terrified of him. Seth keeps ranting…

A FAN JUMPS IN THE RING!!!! But the cameras never show it… Seth just stares at the fan and laughs while he’s taken out. Rollins never addresses the fan, nor does the camera show it… But it’s clear what is going on.

The lights start to flicker… there’s demonic noises… There are heartbeats… The Demon King arrives… He does the entrance for the first time on Raw. Rollins is outside the ring. Balor removes his garments and sits in the corner waiting for Seth to enter the ring.

They go face to face. Rollins throws the first punch and they begin to trade blows. Rollins with an enzuigiri… Balor with the pele kick. Balor with a shotgun dropkick into the corner. Rollins rolls outside to escape the Coupe de Gras… Balor dives outside with a somersault plancha onto Seth. Rollins slinks off as Balor goes back in the ring…

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

MATCH #7: KARL ANDERSON & LUKE GALLOWS VS. THE GOLDEN TRUTH

Another basic squash… A pattern here. Gallows and Anderson win with the “Magic Killer” on Goldust in 2:17.

Post match, New Day attacks Anderson & Gallows and lay them out. Woods teases smashing his trombone on Anderson’s balls, but Gallows saves his partner and they walk off.

– Backstage, Charlotte is talking with Dana Brooke. Charlotte talks herself up and then questions Dana for failing her last week. Charlotte calls Brooke an epic failure and says she might replace her. She mocks Brooke for looking like she’s going to cry. Charlotte walks off.

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

MATCH #8: CHARLOTTE VS. ALICIA FOX

Sasha Banks on commentary. No Dana Brooke with Charlotte. Fox gets some quick offense to start. Charlotte yanks Fox off the middle rope and then lands Natural Selection. Two moves and it’s over… Charlotte wins in 1:28.

Sasha Banks confronts Charlotte in the ring, Dana Brooke comes running out to distract and Charlotte clips Sasha’s leg and puts her in the Figure 8… It’s a Flair set up damn it! Now we go from a potentially great match at Slam to a match where Sasha has to sell a f’n leg injury… UGH.

If this shit becomes all squash matches I’m done…

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

– Braun Strowman video of him murdering jobbers…

MATCH #9: ROMAN REIGNS VS. RUSEV (w/LANA)

Non-title match, for the honor of Lana. Reigns hits the ring and the two immediately start going at it, but they bell never sounds. Reigns sends Rusev to the floor and hits the drive by, which is no longer called the drive by… Didn’t see that coming… Rusev drives Roman’s ribs into the barricade and then into the post as we go to break… Michael Cole implies the match still hasn’t even started, for whatever reason.

Back from break, Rusev has been working Reigns’ shoulder after ramming it into the post. Roman makes the big comeback but misses a charge in the corner and injures his shoulder further. Outside the ring Rusev drives his arm into the steps repeatedly. Rusev dominates Roman’s arm as we go back to commercial.

Back from another break, Rusev is still working over Reigns and talking on the mic to get heat. Lengthy offense from Rusev, Reigns blocks a Superplex and knocks Rusev off the ropes. Roman hits a flying clothesline and both are down. Reigns makes his comeback with signature spots and no sells 20 minutes of frickin shoulder work…

Rusev blocks a Superman Punch and lands the spinning heel kick for a near fall. Rusev with two diving headbutts, gets 2… A THIRD diving headbutt for another near fall… Lana looks PISSED. FOURTH diving headbutts, and again Reigns kicks out…

SOMEHOW Superman Reigns fights back again and sends Rusev to the floor. Reigns tries a Superman Punch off the steps but runs into a Rusev kick… Back inside, Rusev tries the jumping kick but eats a SUPERMAN PUNCH instead… Reigns gets a near fall… Off one punch…

Rusev blocks a spear with a kick and then the kick to the head… but only gets a near fall. Rusev tries the Accolade, but Reigns fights it off… Rusev counters a superman punch with a tackle, savatte kick… ACCOLADE LOCKED IN….

Of course Superman gets to the ropes for the break. Rusev and Lana are frustrated to no end. Rusev rushes Reigns, Roman side steps, SPEAR….

Reigns wins in 26:00. F’n BLAH….

If you’re into the old school art of STORY TELLING, then you’d respect this match. It wasn’t bad, it wasn’t a classic, but it was solid. Reigns going over here with the anticlimactic spear finish was lame, though. Nothing Earth shattering at any point in the match. Rusev worked the arm with really good aggression and kept this from being a snoozer. Lana’s facials and Rusev’s selling of frustration was really good too. Reigns seemed out of gas near the end and started getting sloppy… If you watch it you won’t be mad, but if you don’t watch it you’re not missing anything huge.

That’s it for Raw leading into Summerslam…

Spoilers: WWE Superstars Results For 8/19/16

By
Crazymax Jack
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0

WWE Superstars Results taped 8/15/16 in Corpus Christi, Texas

* Sin Cara defeated Curtis Axel

* Jack Swagger defeated Bo Dallas

WWE Smackdown Live Results – August 9, 2016

By
Bobby Mayo
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0

Bobby “The Brain” Mayo back again with another Smackdown Live report.

WWE SMACKDOWN PRESHOW BULLET POINTS

  • They spent the first ten minutes of the preshow selling Lesnar vs. Orton for Summer Slam. They air the same video as they did yesterday. Orton will face Alberto Del Rio tonight.
  • Booker T rips the shit out of Miz and Disco Inferno. He doesn’t give a shit what he says. He compares Apollo Crews to himself and Miz to Disco “just taking up space” on the roster. Ouch.
  • American Alpha have arrived. They beat the Villains last week. Eva Marie also debuted last week, kinda. She’s set to debut again this week. Don’t hold your breath.
  • There were two women’s matches scheduled for last week and neither happened. This week it’s Natalya vs. Carmella again. It sounds like they’re just rehashing last week’s show.
  • They finally get to the meat and potatoes of the show with 5 minutes to go. They talk Cena vs. Styles, Ziggler vs. Ambrose, The Wyatt Family attack last week.

 

WWE SMACKDOWN LIVE

August 9, 2016 – BAKERSFIELD, CA
ROBOBANK ARENA

Smackdown kicks off with the new chick Charly Caruso in the back with an arriving Orton. He has some words for Brock Lesnar. Alberto Del Rio confronts Randall. They have a match tonight.

Now that we’ve established that it’s time for some rasslin.

Or talking.

– THE WYATT FAMILY SEGMENT –

Before the promo even starts I’ll go out a limb and guess this leads to a tag team main event against Ziggler and Ambrose. Last week everything was taken from Bray again but that’s okay because he is a GOD and you can’t kill a GOD. Wyatt says that Ambrose already tried killing him before and didn’t succeed. This leads

TO THE DEAN AMBROSE

Deano Machine-o have a back and forth verbal joust. Wyatt invites Dean into the ring but he’s too smart for that now. He is? This leads

TO THE DOLPH ZIGGLER

Ziggler walks right past Ambrose on the outside and hits the ring. Ziggler wants revenge from last week and attacks the Wyatts. It doesn’t take long before the Wyatts gain the advantage and Dean Ambrose jumps in to help Dolph.

Bray grabs Dean for Sister Abigail. Ziggler goes to Superkick Wyatt but Bray turns Ambrose into it and Dolph Superkicks Dean in the back of the head which looked pretty badass.

Dolph gets pissed because he hit the wrong man. Ziggler Superkicks Rowan but then Dolph turns around into Sister Abigail.

The Wyatts reigns supreme bitch.

Wow. Cool. They ended the segment with the heels looking strong for once. I’m good with that.

Break time.

* TO THE BACK. Dolph Ziggler and Dean Ambrose are arguing. Dean thinks Dolph hit him on purpose. Dolph didn’t need Dean’s help. They’re

– AMERICAN ALPHA VS. MIKEY O’SHEA & MIKE VEGA –
Look at these jobbers. Is this Superstars 1990? Fat shit jobber and skinny jobber. Before the match can start all the Smackdown tag teams (all 3) come out to watch Alpha. To get an idea of the “depth” of SD teams I’m referring to Vaudevillains, Ascension, and Hype Brothers. God help us all. The jobbers seem semi-lost and somebody is going to get hurt doing 2016 moves against guys like this. This isn’t 1988 where it’s kick, punch, backdrop, finisher. Anyway, American Alpha win in like a fucking minute.

Winners are American Alpha

After the match the three other teams hit the ring and American Alpha clears the ring of all of them. Looking at this tag team field maybe working jobbers isn’t so bad. Like the Colons or Dudleys couldn’t have been used better over here? Or any team worth a shit for that matter. Fucking cripes sake this is the worst tag division ever. They better keep that Smackdown tag team title plan on hold.

TO THE RENEE YOUNG. She’s with the Miz and Maryse. An Apollo Crews video airs. He’s fighting Miz for the IC title at Summer Slam. Miz and Maryse want to have sex and don’t even acknowledge Crews. What a way to get a guy over.

– EVA MARIE VS. BECKY LYNCH –

“Rematch” #1 from last week that never happened. No injury this week but Eva gets a wardrobe malfunction and her top falls off. Nothing is shown it was planned. Eva can’t wrestle because she has no top.

TO TH BECKY LYNCH. She’s pissed about Eva pulling this shit twice but Becky isn’t leaving without a fight with someone. Becky challenges anyone right now. Alexa Bliss accepts the challenge and the fans could give a shit less.

Over a half an hour into the program and we’ve had one minute of wrestling.

– BECKY LYNCH VS. ALEXA BLISS –

40 Minutes into the show and we finally have a match…in progress. Bliss already has control of the bout. Becky Hulks up and makes a big come back complete with an Exploder Suplex when EVA MARIE is reintroduced. She’s ready to compete. The announcer who does Eva’s shtick is funny. I like it. This just winds up being a distraction to allow Bliss to spike Becky into the mat and hit a spinning splash off the top rope called Twisted Bliss or some shit.

Becky can’t catch a break for shit.

Winner is Alexa Bliss

After the match Charly Caruso interviews Eva Marie outside the ring. She gives an insincere interview and says she will be ready to fight next week. Tough luck Becky.

– RANDY ORTON VS. ALBERTO DEL RIO –

Randy looking strong early on. Del Rio does a nice fake out bump to the floor where he catches himself on the apron. Pretty cool shit. Orton bounces Rio off the top rope and sends him to the floor and Smackdown rolls on after the commercials. Apparently Orton dominated all through break. Garvin Stomp for a 2 count.

Del Rio hits a Back Stabber and sends Orton into the post. Del Rio finally gets some offense working in the arm of Randy. Rio with a top rope PUNCH. What a gay move. Orton thinks so to so he comes back with a standing dropkick and looks for his daddy’s superplex. Rio turns it into a cross armbreaker over the top rope so Rio has to break it. Take 2. Orton with the Superplex this time but sells his shoulder. Shots get traded and Randy goes into his deal. Snap powerslam. Some sloppy ass counters leads to a draping DDT.

Randy wants an RKO but ADR rolls outside. Orton meets him on the floor. Del Rio cracks Orton in his bad shoulder with a chair twice. This draws a DQ in 12 minutes.

Winner on a DQ is Randy Orton

Del Rio goes to town on Orton’s shoulder with the steel post and chair but Orton still manages an RKO OUTTA NOWHERE. Del Rio goes down and Orton sells his shoulder like he has a mosquito bite.

That was NOT a very good match.

TO THE RHYNO. In the back Rhyno is getting ready for his match when Heath Slater drops by. Slater wants Rhyno to job for him so he can get a job to help support his family, his two kids. Rhyno talks about winning his election in Michigan and how he can’t let anyone down. Slater said he has four kids to feed. Rhyno brings up how Slater just said he had two kids before. Slater is asking Rhyno to help him out tonight. Rhyno says he can’t help and walks off.

Sadly that was the best thing on the show so far.

– RHYNO VS. HEATH SLATER –

So here’s the point of this match. IF SLATER WINS HE GETS A CONTRACT. Typical match to start. Rhyno starts Rhynoing up. Belly to belly on Slater. Rhyno misses a Gore. Roll up by Heath but the ref catches Slater’s feet on the ropes. GORE GORE GORE ends it. Rhyno wins in under 2 minutes.

Winner is Rhyno

Better luck next time Heathy. JBL yells out on commentary during the close, “Rhyno, you damn politician!” After the match, we see a shot of a very upset Heath Slater in the ring.

* TO THE ERICK ROWAN, who interrupts appearing on the big screen. Bray Wyatt asks Rowan to prepare to give his life for this family. Wow, really? Wyatt asks Rowan to destroy. Rowan finishes it saying, “Run.”

* TO THE BACKSTAGE. Shane McMahon has a contract and asks Daniel Bryan if he really wants to do this. Daniel Bryan said Heath Slater embodies the fighting spirit of Smackdown. Heath Slater walks in yelling at both Shane and Bryan. He said Smackdown Live doesn’t deserve him. Slater walks off as Shane and Bryan close up the contract. WHAT DID YOU JUST DO HEATH? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Carmella is out cutting a promo when Natalya runs out trying to attack her. Carmella sees it coming and throws elbows at Natalya. They run into the ring and keep brawling. The referee separates both and then calls for the bell to kick things off.

– NATALYA VS. CARMELLA –

Carmella jumps and tackles Natalya early. Natalya throws Carmella back off the ropes. Nattie is just woman handling her like bitch you dont belong in the ring with me. If Nattie cant make you look good you should’nt be here, go be a valet again. Nattie puts Carmella in an ab stretch/octopus and said BADA BOOM. Hehe. Carmella does some gay looking figure four head scissor thing and Nattie fucking taps. What the fuck was that shit?

Winner is Carmella

Carmella looked terrible and her only offense was the finish.

* TO THE BARON CORBIN. Cameras catch Corbin beating the shit out of poor little Kalisto backstage. He even picks him up against the wall to make him look even more like a bitch. Corbin is pissed because Kalisto prevented Baron from winning the IC Title challenger match. Meanwhile the guy who won, Apollo Crews, is nowhere to be found on the show.

– DEAN AMBROSE & DOLPH ZIGGLER VS. BRAY WYATT & ERICK ROWAN –

While Dean and Dolph argue over who will start, they’re attacked by the Wyatts. Ziggler gets beat up by both and Smackdown rolls to a break. When we return, Wyatt misses a senton splash. Hot taggy to Ambrose. This crowd is simply dreadful. Ambrose with his bulldog spot on Wyatt and a dive outside onto Rowan. When Dean goes back in the ring he runs right into a bad ass clothesline from Wyatt. Rowan comes in and puts Dean on the top rope and fucking big BOOTS him to the floor. Damn man. Ambrose won’t stay down he keeps fighting back but Bray hits a urinage on Dean right on the corner of the apron. Dean continues to fight though, missing his lunatic lariat but connecting with a neckbreaker. Ziggler gets the hot taggp next. Rowan doesn’t bump for Dolph’s hot tag clotheslines and it looks awkward as fuck. Ziggler plants Rowan with the spike DDT and nearly gets the win.

Rowan clobbers Dean with his only move, the spinning kick. Ziggler escapes a powerbomb and hits the Zigzag, but Wyatt breaks up the cover. Dean knocks Bray to the floor and tries a suicide dive but fucks it up and nearly commits suicide. Bray still sell the dive though. Rowan tries a Rock bottom but Ziggler spins out and connects with a superkick for the victory in 11 minutes.

Winners are Ziggler and Ambrose

After the match Ziggler celebrates until Ambrose catches him with Dirty Deeds. This crowd was the shits. They barely made a noise during the hot tags. This wasn’t much but it was by far better than Raw.

The WWE Raw Report 8/8/16

By
Crazymax Jack
-
0

The WWE Raw Preshow Notes 8/8/16

– It’s Stanford, Lawler, Booker, Lita hosting. Booker is back and the Spinaroonie is retired. We take a look at Orton RKO-ing Brock on Raw. Brock then F5’s Randy on SD. Discussion on their Slam match going back to OVW.

– Foley invited Daniel Bryan to Raw… Three episodes in, Orton’s been on Raw, Lesnar is on SD, now Bryan is on Raw… Booker T & Lita shit on it too. Couldn’t keep the brands split for more than one week.

– Gallows & Anderson pretaped interview. They’re tooo sweet and they broke Big E’s balls. Lawler brings up when Tommy Rich & Austin Idol did it to him. Booker quickly shuts that down. Screw off Booker. Bet that was the first time the name Austin Idol was uttered on WWE TV. Anyway it’s Gallows & Anderson challenging Woods & Kofi for the titles at Slam.

– Backstage interview with Neville. The Dudleys interrupt. They’ve ruled EVERY ERA. Neville mocks their “90’s camo pants”. Bubba challenge Neville to find a partner for tonight. Testify.

– They hype Balor/Rollins for Slam. Most of this show was Slam hype and not much in the way of Raw.

WWE RAW REPORT 8/8/16 from Anaheim, CA

– Raw opens with a recap video of all of last week’s happenings. I had forgotten about the Reigns/Rusev crap. WWE reminds me. Blah.

ENZO AND BIG CASS / CHRIS JERICHO & KEVIN OWENS SEGMENT

Enzo & Cass do an opening spiel. Probably their worst one. They talk a little about last week and Sasha Banks and then talk Jericho. And out comes Jericho who introduces his new buddy Kevin Owens to watch his back. Cass compares the heels to Bert and Ernie in the same bathtub. Gay bashing, yikes. KO & Y2J are on the same team but still play heel towards each other as they aren’t quick to defend the other. Some comedy back and forth with Jericho and the faces. Jericho challenges Enzo to a match. This wasn’t very good at all.

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

MATCH #1: ENZO (w/CASS) VS. CHRIS JERICHO (w/KEVIN OWENS)
Enzo starts out on the offense but it quickly turns to Jericho and Jericho dominates with basic offense for the next 4:00 until break.

Back from break, Enzo make a comeback with a flying DDT off the ropes. A running forearm smash gets a near fall on Y2J. Jericho counters a huracan rana into a Walls of Jericho. Enzo finally gets to the ropes for the break. Amore with a high cross body for another near fall. Jericho powders but Enzo with a plancha over the top out onto Y2J. Back inside, KO distracts Enzo allowing Jericho to hit the Codebreaker… Jericho goes for the cover but Big Cass says F it and hits the ring with a Big Boot on Jericho to cause a DQ. Jericho wins by DQ in 11:10.

After the match, Enzo & Cass challenge KO & Y2J for Summer Slam. The heels are Sawwwft.

– Tonight, Lana & Rusev celebrate their marriage on Raw. Joy

– Mick Foley is backstage on his phone with Stephanie. Apparently she’s not there. Well that’s a plus. Sasha Banks pops in. Sasha Banks wants to wrestle BOTH Dana Brooke and Charlotte in a Handicap match at Summer Slam… WTF? Foley has a better idea. If Sasha can beat Brooke, then Dana is banned at Slam. If Sasha loses tonight, then she will get the handicap match at Slam. Ewww… Either way Sasha wins… I suppose… But a handicap match?? Really? Eww… Is this so Charlotte doesn’t have to job again?

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

Byron Saxton interviews Jorel Nelson. He’s Strowman’s jobber of the week.

MATCH #2: BRAUN STROWMAN VS. JOREL NELSON

Jorel actually gets an entrance as he comes down second. Jorel starts to leave and Strowman plows him off the apron. Back inside a nasty clothesline. Reverse chokeslam ends it in 48 seconds. Shorter than even usual, less moves. Killed the kid. This reminds me of all the other unover monsters they pushed like this, who wind up just jobbing to Cena… errr Roman Reigns now I suppose.

– Backstage, Puff Daddy invites Mick Foley to his upcoming Bad Boy reunion tour. New Days pops in. Even though Big E is MIA and injured, they’re happy. Puff Daddy asks “How’s Big E’s NUTS?”…. Foley informs him you can’t say Nuts on Raw… That may have been a shoot… Everyone sort of paused. lol

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

MATCH #3: TITUS O’NEIL VS. DARREN YOUNG (w/BOB BACKLUND)
Rematch from last week when Titus went all heel, and Darren went all crazy. Neither gets an entrance, way to keep pushing them WWE. Young slaps Titus, then Young dominates the entire match again. Young with a Roaring Elbow, but Titus catches him in a cross body attempt and tries a snake eyes, but Young slides behind with the roll up and hooks the tights like Titus last week. Young wins in 2:00 exactly.

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

SETH ROLLINS PROMO
Starts off as your basic promo. Nothing offensive. Then he points out Finn Balor isn’t even his real name and makes fun of the name and it falls FLAT. Seth picks things back up talking about everything he’s gotten he’s worked for so he wasn’t handed anything at Summer Slam. This went 10 minutes, could have done it in 5. The middle of the promo about Finn’s name was bad, the rest was fine, but nothing special throughout.

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

MATCH #4: CESARO VS. SHEAMUS
Apparently their match last week to determine a challenger wasn’t about who WINS the match but who dominates the match… WTF?????? How the hell is that a thing? Anyway, apparently nobody dominated, so now we have a rematch… WTF, WWE…

Fight starts Cesaro with a nice suicide dive on Sheamus outside. Back inside Sheamus takes over. Cesaro with some uppercuts but Sheamus lands a rolling senton as we go to break.

Back from break, Sheamus with a top rope shoulder block for 2. Crowd is DEAD for Sheamus. I mean DEAD. NO NOISE. Cesaro with several nice counters, slides under a Brogue kick with a nice roll up for 2. Sheamus comes back with the Irish Curse backbreaker for 2. White Noise gets another near fall. Sheamus is frustrated. Cesaro catches him with an uppercut on the top rope. Cesaro with a high dropkick that sends Sheamus off the top rope to the floor. Uppercut train on the floor, and in the ring. Sheamus pulls the referee in the way and the referee does a DROP DOWN… LMAO, awesome… The ref winds up in between Cesar and Sheamus and Sheamus takes a cheap shot over the ref, clocking both Cesaro and the ref. Sheamus with a cheap roll up, but the ref is shaking off the blow. Sheamus questions the ref, and Cesaro rolls him up for the win again… But does it count since there was no “dominance”??? Fun little spot getting the ref involved, you don’t see that much in WWE. Match went about 11:00.

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

– A special look at 15 years in the making – Brock vs. Orton. Video of stuff showing their “parallel careers”. Yeah… Right. They started in OVW together, they both came to WWE and won titles… This writes itself. They’re trying to sell this thing like all it’ll take a RKO for Orton to win. Brock shits all over Orton as an opponent. “He’s just another guy”.

– Dudleys match is next, we’ll find out who Neville picked as a partner when we return.

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

MATCH #5: THE DUDLEY BOYZ VS. NEVILLE & SIN CARA
Two hours of waiting for that crap? Are you f’n serious? Sin Cara? The crowd doesn’t even make a peep. What a crap pick for a partner. Cara starts and the crowd is DEAD. Cara may be the worst pick possible, but he’s in all black so maybe he will turn, not that it matters much. Dudleys works over Cara in their corner and knock Neville off the apron.. Cara dives outside onto the Dudleys and then inside with a springboard moonsault for Bubba. D-Von distracts and Bubba sends Cara off the apron to the floor. Dudleys dominate. D-Von misses a charge. Neville finally tags in for the first tag in the match, and it’s a hot tag.

Neville quickly wakes the crowd up with his fast paced offense on D-Von. D-Von accidentally clotheslines Bubba. Neville with a drive out onto Bubba. Cara with an enzuigiri to D-Von, then Neville hits him with a missile dropkick. Red Arrow on D-Von ends this in 5:19.

Cara was worthless in this. Dudleys hold more value than shit like this.

Bubba looks pissed off at D-Von, but the announcers don’t sell it though.

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

– Daniel Bryan arrives with a roller suitcase. Apparently he plans to wrestle… That was a joke.

RUSEV & LANA / ROMAN REIGNS SEGMENT

– So Lana & Rusev are going to celebrate their recent wedding in the ring. Lana comes out in a slutty wedding dress. No complaints. There are three cakes in the ring… GOD NO… Where’s Jim Cornette? So Lana is a princess now, which explains the tiaras lately. They get the “WHAT” chants loudly and immediately. We get to relive their wedding day. She kisses Rusev’s bicep. Okay. Lana loses her accent for a bit.

Photos from their wedding are shown. GIGANTIC BORING CHANTS… This crowd don’t want this shit, and neither do I. This shit goes on and on and on. WAY TOO LONG. They’re going to say their wedding “vowels” according to Lana. And here it is, finally…

Roman Reigns interrupts. Crowd boos him too. Not even a boring segment can make the fans pop for Reigns. Sounds like 3 people are chanting Roman, the rest are booing. Reigns challenges for the US Title at Summer Slam. Rusev says No. And remember, there’s cake next to them…

Reigns says a bunch of shit. Rusev attacks . Reigns knocks Rusev into Lana… and Lana goes….. INTO THE CAKE… She’s covered in cake. The crowd enjoys it for about 5 seconds. Lana throws a screaming fit shouting “I Hate you” at Roman over and over. Many people feel your pain lana. Reigns just leaves. Rusev throws cake. A waste of a 15 minute segment…

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

– Backstage, Rusev throws a fit at Mick Foley about Reigns deserving a beat down. Lana is having a fit. Foley makes a title match for Summer Slam. Rusev vs. Reigns… Have a nice day.

MATCH #6: SASHA BANKS VS. DANA BROOKE (w/CHARLOTTE)
If Sasha wins, Brooke is banned at Slam. If Sasha loses, it’s a handicap match at Slam. Brooke controls the match. She misses a charge in the corner and winds up propped across the middle rope. Sasha comes off the top with a double knee and wins in less than 3:00…

Charlotte doesn’t look happy. This was extremely uneventful. It’s like they’re purposely not trying tonight.

– Nia Jax video plays.

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

– For some reason, they show 1-2-3 Kid pin Razor Ramon…

– All about Finn Balor… We get a VIDEO of Finn Balor tonight explaining who he is and what he’s done. He literally talks about banshees and monsters and warriors and Balor, the king of the demons. He’s a man but has the power to become a myth and be a demon. We learn that Seth with meet the Demon King at Summer Slam. Finn’s eyes go all goofy and we see a clip of his demon gimmick.

– There’s a f’n COMEDY SKETCH with Gallows & Anderson dressed as doctors talking about RING POST-ITIS mocking Big E. They pull up a jar with two eggs in it. They talk about being “testy” and “nuts”. This is absolutely f’n atrocious… I SERIOUSLY feel like they’re purposely trying to make this show bad. And there is NO DOUBT IN MY MIND this was a Vince McMahon sketch all day long.

And the main segment is Foley and Daniel Bryan talking… Even if there’s some crappy run in crap… It’s still crap. What a waste of a Monday night…

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

MATCH #7: KOFI KINGSTON (w/WOODS) VS. LUKE GALLOWS (w/KARL ANDERSON)
Gallows starts off in control, Kofi lands a dive to the floor. Anderson distracts and Gallows hits a flapjack and gets the pin in 1:30… No, seriously, that was the entire match. Crowd didn’t make a noise and were surprised by the abrupt finish. Post match the club try and crush Kofi’s balls, but Xavier runs them off with a chair.

– We’re outside and Goldust finds R-Truth and Scooby Doo at the Mystery Machine… Yes, you read that right. R-Truth gets into a fight with Scooby over Goldust. They’re shilling the new WWE/Scooby video. That was… You know what, I don’t even have words at this point. The last 10 things on this show have been absolutely and utterly ridiculous, awful, or just plain garbage… If this is the new Raw, I’m done.

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

MICK FOLEY / DANIEL BRYAN SEGMENT

They put each other over. Mick Foley wants to apologize for Brock Lesnar sneaking on Smackdown. Bryan apologizes for Orton showing up on Raw… Now Foley gets pissy about Bryan making fun of the name “Universal Title”. Rusev interrupts… WTF… Rusev says Raw doesn’t need a Universal champion. They have a US Champion. Bryan thinks Rusev is sucking up to Foley to get out of the Reigns match at Slam…

Cesaro interrupts… WTF. Cesaro thinks he has earned a title shot. Foley tries to dodge Cesaro’s comments. Bryan thinks Foley is underutilizing Cesaro… Foley caves in and he makes US Champ Rusev vs. Cesaro right now… WTF is this???? We go to break.

Well that lived up to the hype of Daniel Bryan on Raw.

— COMMERCIAL BREAK —

MATCH #8: U.S. CHAMPION RUSEV VS. CESARO
A little back and forth to start leads to Rusev getting control. Rusev works over the shoulder of Cesaro. Slow, plodding offense by Rusev past the 11pm hour. Crowd wants to cheer for Cesaro but Rusev is killing them. Cesaro powers up and lands a dead weight one arm body slam… Double stomp by Cesaro gets 2. Cesaro with a Tornado DDT for 2.

Rusev comes back and knocks the poo out of Cesaro for a near fall. He looks for the Accolade next. Cesaro powers out before it can be locked. Cesaro with the electric chair suplex thingy. Punches are traded. Springboard spinniny uppercut by Cesaro and he’s looking for the Swing…CESARO SWING!!! SHARPSHOOTER!!!

Fucking Sheamus on the apron.. Really???? Cesaro comes over, Rusev lands a sneaky side kick but only gets 2… Cesaro shoves Rusev into Sheamus, but the ref gets bumped… NEUTRALIZER, but the ref is down and slow to count… Rusev kicks out… Cesaro gets knocked onto the bottom rope and Sheamus hits a BROGUE KICK…. Cesaro stands up into a Rusev kick and Rusev wins in 9:36.

This was all to build to a THIRD F’N Cesaro/Sheamus match that NOBODY CARES ABOUT????????????????

Cesaro jobs. Sheamus smiles. Crowd boos. I want to shoot myself.

Rusev celebrates in the aisle but turns into a SPEAR by Roman Reigns to end the show.

THANK GOD THIS IS OVER….

Spoilers: WWE Superstars Results For 8/12/16

By
Crazymax Jack
-
0

WWE Superstars Results Taped 8/8/16 from Anaheim…

* Jack Swagger over Jinder Mahal. Welcome back Jinder.

* Sami Zayn defeats Curtis Axel.

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