WWE Raw Preshow Notes 3/21/16
– Quick note for those Crazy Max Forum fans.. The board was having some posting issues over the last 48 hours, but those bugs should be all taken care of now. If you’re having any further issues with posting on the forums, please don’t hesitate to contact me…
Now, onto the show…..
– We’re THIRTEEN DAYS OUT from WrestleMania! Can you believe it? We’re just 30 minutes away from the final Raw before the final Raw before WrestleMania… The WWE has about 6 hours of TV left to sell their matches (no, I’m not counting SD), not that I’m expecting a miracle. Even worse, all “insiders” are reporting there are NO big names scheduled for tonight’s Raw (Shane, Taker, Brock)… Now that’s not to say Shane couldn’t be there, or whoever couldn’t be there, but you’d think they’d prominently feature someone…. anyone…. so close to the show… Still no promotion of Steve Austin or Shawn Michaels for Mania either. The hard sell for Raw tonight from WWE.com simply pushes the Divas situation, Dolph Ziggler, the preshow Andre Battle Royal, and the HHH/Reigns feud. I’d like to say I expect the WWE to fool us and pull off a big show tonight… But they haven’t bothered to yet, so I’m not expecting much. I still can;t believe we haven’t gotten one good Heyman/Ambrose promo yet. But they are coming into another rowdy city in Philly, so we shall see.
– Okay, since I I was long winded in the rant, I’ll try and abbreviate the always fun pre-show notes. It’s Stanford, Otunga, Booker, and Graves, and they go right into the Roman Reigns returns last week and his half-ass attack on HHH. Then there was the Undertaker chokeslamming Shane segment that needed to be touched upon.
Tonight on Raw we learn that Vince McMahon will have a major announcement for the Shane McMahon vs. The Undertaker in Hell In a Cell at WrestleMania 32. I smell a special referee…
League of Nations killed New Day last week, for about ten minutes too long. Overkill, but I like that they tried to get heat on an undercard match. What I hate about it is that they’re squeezing 7 guys into a frickin tag team title match. I hated Sheamus and Barrett’s work with New Day, but Rusev and Del Rio looked good. I have no interest in seeing Sheamus and Wade clutter this crap up. We have Rusev vs. Big E tonight on Raw.
There’s been some hits and misses in this year’s Hall of Fame, but you can’t go wrong with the Bad Man from Borger, Stan Hansen!
Renee Young is with Lana & Team BAD at Raw. They’re tired of the Divas Revolution, they’d rather have an uprising. They need to put the other girls in their place. Paige, Natalya, and Alicia Fox interrupt and challenge them to an 8-woman tag at Mania. Natalya tells Team BAD and Lana to find a 4th partner… Hmmm.
Bakc to last week’s Raw, the Lesnar/Ambrose confrontation, and Foley gives Dean the gift of barbed wire. Ambrose vs. Strowman tonight, by the by. Doesn’t that sound exciting? Time to use the barbed wire… Will Vince actually let his monster job to help build up Ambrose?
That’s all for the pre-show.
WWE Raw Report 3/21/16 from the Wells Fargo Center in PA, Philadelphia, PA
– We get a video package of Roman Reigns return last week, and the video production crew makes it look like a million bucks… Bravo!
And the fun ends there… Ugh…
STEPHANIE MCMAHON / ROMAN REIGNS SEGMENT
– Stephanie McBoobs-alot to the ring for another raspy repetitive promo. HHH won’t be here tonight. Barring a “swerve”, that’s pretty bad considering nobody else is here either. Steph says HHH is MIA for corporate reasons and is not injured. Steph begins to rundown Roman, and says they can buy anything and anyone… And here comes Reigns…
Steph continues to run him down to his face, Reigns takes the mic mid-sentence. He says HHH isn’t here because he kicked his ass, only he didn’t say it as cool. He says he’d going to destroy HHH and take the title and there’s nothing the Authority’s money can buy to stop it. Roman blocks a slap from Stephanie and proclaims himself the Authority… Crowd was so-so for Reigns, but the longer he talked, the more boos. Based on post Mania booking plans (thus far), it’s looking like the stubborn Vince just won’t go back on this Reigns World Title win thing.
The only good thing about this segment is that the entire thing only went ten minutes.
Up next it’s AJ vs. Kevin Owens!
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
MATCH #1: IC CHAMPION KEVIN OWENS VS. AJ STYLES
Non-title. This is a rematch from SD, when Jericho cost AJ the match. We start slow with a headlock build, leading to a Styles dropkick spot which sends Owens to the floor… Styles fakes a plancha and lands on the apron, KO tries to yank him off but Styles kicks him back and goes for a moonsault press off the apron. Owens moves, but AJ lands on his feet. Styles charges Owens who launches AJ into the air and drops him across the barricade… Styles took a Phenomenal bump… Pun intended… And off to commercials.
Back from break, KO with a chinlock which AJ breaks and lands a Pele kick of sorts. AJ follows up with the striking combo, the back fist, and a splash in the corner. Styles with sit out gut buster for a near fall. Owens comes back with a nasty clothesline and a fireman’s carry neckbreaker for another near fall. Owens misses the corner Cannonball, and Styles nails the fireman’s carry into a DVD on the knee and yet another near fall.
Styles tries a top rope huracan rana but KO holds on and AJ takes a bump… Owens with a FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH!!!!! 1……….2…………Styles kicks out!!!
KO wants the pop up powerbomb, but AJ holds the ropes. They trade blows. Owens ducks a back fist and lands a superkick… And Styles nails a Pele kick, and both men collapse… And we take a SECOND BREAK… Wow…
Back from another break, Owens takes AJ up top for a superplex, but AJ slides under and trips KO to the mat… Styles with a TORTURE RACK INTO A SPIN OUT POWERBOMB… 1………2……………..Owens kicks out!!!
Styles to the top rope, but KO stops him, they struggle on the top, but STYLES WITH AN ARABIAN POWERBOMB OFF THE TOP ROPE!!!!! 1………..2……………OWENS ESCAPES!!!!
Styles sets up for the springboard forearm when….. Chris Jericho begins making his way down the ramp, chanting for AJ on the mic. Owens tries to take advantage, but Styles wiggles free and applies the CALF CRUSHER… But Jericho is on the apron. Styles goes after Jericho and Owens executes his famouse move, the school boy, for the win in 19:20…. Great match, shit finish, but it was Raw so I expected it.
– Styles chases Jericho backstage…. Owens gets on the mic and calls this the KO show… Owens says in 13 days everyone wants to know who will face him for the IC Title at KOMania… DOLPH ZIGGLER CUTS HIM OFF.… They argue for a moment when…. HERE COMES THE MIZ….. Miz talks about main eventing WrestleMania. SAMI ZAYN INTERRUPTS…. Zayn wants a shot too!
Owens decides to leave the ring while the others argue. KO says none of them deserve a title shot. Owens says he’s going to try and get a Triple Threat match going, and the winner can face him at Mania. Doesn’t sound like it’ll be a multi-man match after all.
– We go to a video of Dean Ambrose at a bar from earlier today. He runs into TERRY FUNK!!!!!!!!!! Funk talks about how crazy Ambrose is, and that he understands Dean. Funk gives Dean a… CHAINSAW…. Dean gets crazy eyes…. Ambrose starts up the chainsaw and cuts a table several times with it… REAL CHAIN BLADE BABY! That’s a little dangerous…. Just a bit… Ambrose continues cutting the table into break.
The only bummer about that is… We know he ain’t using it.
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
– Kevin Owens confronts Stephanie McMahon. He wants to arrange a Triple Threat match for #1 contendership for Mania. Steph grants it. It happens tonight.
– WWE Legends and Hall of Famer discuss Shane vs. Undertaker. Since neither guy bothered to show up this week, we get video comments about the match instead from the likes of Stone Cold, Cena, Flair, Michael Hayes, Foley, Booker, Jericho, Edge, Lawler. They spend much of this video hyping Taker and the Cell. This is just pathetic… Shane McMahon should be a main protagonist weekly right now to keep the heat going and the match feeling meaningful.
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
– The League of Nation have a terrible promo, Sheamus just gets worse every passing day. New Day promo headed to the ring follows. They RIP THE SHIT out of the League, mocking their past credentials and what they’ve become. They even say Sheamus was named SHAME because they knew he was a loser when he was born… WOW… AWESOME…
This promo breaks down into a 7-man brawl… New Day sends the League out of the ring and Woods plays the trombone.
MATCH #2: BIG E (w/NEW DAY) VS. RUSEV (w/THE LEAGUE)
I still don’t comprehend the necessity, nor the point of this being 4 on 3 at Mania, but whatever. Big E comes right after Rusev on the floor as the match starts. Back inside Rusev eats a one man Unicorn Stampede. E dominates Rusev with a SPLASH ON THE APRON as we go to break!
Back from break, Rusev has taken over control after sending E into the steps during the break. We also learn the League tossed the New Day into the barricades and laid them out during the break. You’ll be happy to know that #TerryFunk is trending. Big E makes a comeback with 3 big belly to belly suplexes. BIG E SPLASH but Rusev gets the KNEES UP. Rusev with a spinning kick gets 2. The rest of New Day is still dead from a simple barricade toss. Rusev misses the big kick, Rusev escapes the Big Ending, but BIG E with a Rock Bottom/Boss Man Slam type move. Big E tries to plow Rusev off the apron, but runs into a knee, and Rusev kicks Big E’s head off..1………….2………….. Big E escapes!
Big E comes back and nails his splash for 2. Barrett distracts, and Rusev nails the JUMPING SIDE KICK for a near fall. Xavier Woods is back up and takes out Barrett into the post, and a Shining Wizard on Del Rio outside. But Sheamus lays out Woods. Big E counters the Accolade into an Ocean Cyclone drop. Big E spears himself through the ropes to plow Sheamus off the apron. Meanwhile on the other side, Kofi sneaks in a wicked kick to stumble Rusev into the BIG ENDING… Big E wins in 11:06.
– WYATT FAMILY BACKSTAGE PROMO. All four men speak. They’re having a rebirth. But they must sacrifice a soul. Dean Ambrose tonight. And then Bray Wyatt will ascend to his throne. RUN. GOD THESE GUYS NEED TO HAVE A MATCH AT MANIA…..
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
ANDRE BATTLE ROYAL SEGMENT WITH BIG SHOW / SOCIAL OUTCASTS PROMO
– Andre Trophy at ringside… And here comes the BIG SHOW to the ring for a promo. Show was last year’s winner and he’s looking for a repeat.Show is gonna shoot with us. He knows Andre was the greatest giant of all time and not him. Andre carved the path. Show builds up the match by putting over Andre.
Social Outcasts cut Show off. Axel says they fit together like Voltron. The Outcasts attack Big Show, he fends them off at first, but they take him down after a microphone shot. KANE makes his way out to make the save… Kane tosses all 4 outcasts out over the top rope. Big Show acts buddy-buddy with Kane to a corny extent. Kane grabs Show who is awkwardly trying to stand on the middle rope and “chokeslams” Show off. This was TERRIBLE, the spot was slow, Show acted corny, even shouting “Kaaa-aane”. Then the choekslam was just a really generic bump that didn’t even look like Kane had control. The crowd seemed to grown after the spot as Kane set off his pyro to end this mess of shit.
– WRESTLEMANIA REWIND MATCH IS NEXT!!!! CHRIS JERICHO VS…………………………… FANDANGO?!?!?!?!?!??!!?
He still has a job??? I wonder if he’s new and improved again.
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
– Fifth Harmony will perform America the Beautiful at WrestleMania.
– Stan Hansen is headed to the WWE Hall of Fame, and all is right in the world.
MATCH #3: CHRIS JERICHO VS. FANDANGO
Jericho stomps down Fandango right out of the gate. Jericho verbally abuses Fandango which causes Dango to fire back and take over. But the crowd is dead. Fandango going for his top rope legdrop… BUT MISSES… And WALLS OF JERICHO, but AJ STYLES interrupts with a “Y 2 Jackass” chant. This distracts Jericho and Fandango with a small package for 2… Jericho with the Codebreaker wins in 2:08.
AJ Styles hits the ring, but Jericho retreats. AJ Styles says Jericho is best in the world at what he does, and what he does is run from Styles…. Styles says there’s one place he hasn’t competed, and that’s WrestleMania. He challenges Jericho to a match. Jericho doesn’t look interested… Surrrre.
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
– A SECOND frickin Taker/Shane video package, where we hear from everyone EXCEPT Taker and Shane… Ugh. Add Pat Patterson, Road Dogg, JBL and Shawn Michaels to the other names who put over the men involved. This video focuses on Shane’s training and what’s at stake.
– Backstage Kevin Owens is speaking to two referees… Hmmm?
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
– Kevin Owens is ring announcer and replaces Lilian.
He introduces…… STARDUST??????
SWERVE!!! Owens never said the three guys involved…. He had the power to make the match, so this is the match… Cleverness for once WWE… BWAHAHAHA
Sin Cara is next….
And last…. ZACK RYDER… WOO WOO WOO!!!
MATCH #4: ZACK RYDER VS. SIN CARA VS. STARDUST
All three go at it, Ryder gets dumper early and it’s Dust vs. Cara for a biut in the ring. Cara with an Asai Moonsault to the floor on both men. Sami Zayn comes to ringside. Then Miz is out next… Then Dolph… Stardust in control inside the ring. The camera focuses on the argument outside, rather than the match… Ryder throws Stardust out at their feet and Owens attacks Ryder, then Stardust… And now we have 7 guys brawling all over the place and Owens retreats the fight…. Match goes maybe 4:00 at best before it’s thrown out.
Can Zack Ryder actually have a MATCH at Mania???? Holy balls!
I’m sure guys like Bray Wyatt & Luke Harper are loving not having a match while Superstars jobbers are getting spots.
– Stephanie is on the phone with someone and is afraid of Reigns. She plans to meet someone in a bit when Kevin Owens interrupts and pisses her off.. So she puts Owens in a LADDER MATCH at MANIA against all 6 of the men in the ring…. Owens isn’t happy.
— COMMERCIAL BREAK
– Backstage, HHH pulls up to pick up Stephanie in a limo. But when they go to leave Roman Reigns is standing behind the garage door… Crowd shits all over this… Reigns dives into the limo and attacks HHH again… Stephanie screams as Reigns pummels Trips. HHH gets in a cheap shot and jumps in the limo to take off… Reigns stands there angry and the crowd BOOS THE SHIT OUT OF REIGNS… This is NOT GOING TO WORK… DEAL WITH IT VINCE!!!
MATCH #5: NATALYA VS. WWE DIVAS CHAMPION CHARLOTTE (w/RIC FLAIR)
Non-Title. Sasha and Becky on commentary. Nattie uses Flair style chops to take Charlotte down. Nattie uses the suspended ceiling surfboard. Charlotte escapes and powders to mock her Mania opponents, but Nattie lays her out with a discus clothesline. Back inside, Charlotte takes control and lays into Nattie with chops galore. Even Ric WOOOOS. Nattie comes back with a sit out powerbomb for 2. Nattie with the Sharpshooter, but Charlotte gets the ropes. Charlotte drives Nattie into the buckles and tries a Figure 8, Nattie counters with a cradle for 2. Charlotte escapes a Sharpshooter and lands a rolling neck snap cutter for the win in 4:48.
Charlotte taunts Sasha and Becky from the ring after the match.
We still have Ambrose vs. Strowman, AND the Vince announcement, and only 30mins left on the show.
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
MATCH #6: BUBBA RAY DUDLEY (w/D-VON) VS. R-TRUTH
I admire them trying to squeeze as much as they can on this show, but this seems like overkill with what’s still left. Bubba immediately beats Truth down. Shot beat down leads to Truth’s usual comeback stuff. Truth knocks D-Von off the apron and turns into a BIG BOOT from Bubba and that ends it in 2:00… OOOOOk.
After the match they beat down Truth. Goldust makes the save to no noise, but Goldy eats an inverted 3D…. The Usos then hit the ring and send Bubba outside. The Usos GET THE TABLE!!!! They set the table up for D-Von and go for a double splash on the table, but Bubba saves D-Von and the Dudleys run off before the move can happen.
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
VINCE MCMAHON PROMO
Vince reminds us of what happened last week. Vince calls it SWEET. lol. Vince knows Shane will risk life and limb and finds Shane the most formidable opponent of Undertaker ever… Jesus. Vince calls Undertaker HIS BITCH, lmao…. Vince says if Undertaker can’t beat Shane McMahon at WrestleMania, then it will be Taker’s last WrestleMania….
Short promo. Little to no response, this crowd has been surprisingly bad for the second half.
Now Taker has no choice but to kill Shane… Or does he?
As Vince gets to the top of the ramp he’s passed by Dean Ambrose on his way to the ring…
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
– Paul Heyman is on commentary.
MATCH #7: DEAN AMBROSE VS. BRAUN STROWMAN (w/THE WYATTS)
Ambrose goes nuts on Braun early and sends him to the floor where he hits a nice suicide dive…. Dean tries a second one, but is knocked silly by Strowman. Braun takes over outside and sends Dean back into the ring. Big clothesline on Dean. Ambrose tries to fight back but Strowman is too strong.
Dean eventually makes the big comeback. but Braun isn’t bumping. Ambrose tries Dirty Deeds, but Braun powers out. Strowman misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post. Ambrose grabs a chair and starts beating Strowman with it causing a quick DQ in 5:54.
The Wyatts try to attack after but Dean holds them off with a chair. Strowman attacks Dean, but Dean with DIRTY DEEDS ON A CHAIR…. Ambrose leaves the ring as the Wyatts swarm. Dean stares down Heyman, Paul says he’s just an advocate. The show ends quickly and abruptly, and I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THE F— THAT HELPED ANYONE….
How many times are the Wyatts going to promise something and not deliver, in this instance looking like a hoard of nobodies… Ambrose didn’t even come out of this with much fanfare, though this crowd was asleep.
That’ll end Raw. I guess.
While they used Raw to build on 9 of the 11 WrestleMania matches… 11? Wow…. What is this 1990? Anyway, they used the preshow to build on the 8 Divas Tag, leaving only the Ryback/Kalisto story off the show, which was fine. Problem here was, no surprises, and almost no main eventers even did anything or appeared on the program.
You guys have ONE show left to make this count…
