WWE Raw 3/14/16 Preshow Notes
– So check this out… Every week Stanford tries to intro his partners with cute little names each week… A week or two back he referenced Booker T as G.I. Bro, and Booker appeared to be LEGIT pissed off and it took an uncomfortable minute or two for Booker to stop staring Scott down…. They apparently had a conversation post show where Booker expressed his displeasure.
THIS WEEK… Scott says Booker puts the STINK in STINK EYE… Whatever that means… Anywho, Booker looks LEGIT PISSED again and literally stares down Stanford for a good 3 minutes all during the show intro. Booker makes it clear he didn’t like it and ignores the show format while he gives Stanford the evil eye… or the stink eye… or whatever… I’m thinking Booker doesn’t like Stanford much… Graves does his best to change the subject…
– We finally go back to Roadblock, the video shows Dean Ambrose clearly pins HHH, and his feet were not under the ropes during the entire count. The panel discusses if Dean should be champ or not. We now know it’s HHH vs. Reigns at Mania… I think.
– If you missed it earlier here on Cmax… Jacqueline is entering the WWE Hall of Fame, for some reason… If they keep up a lady a year, at this rate B.B. and Joy Giovanni will be in at some point… Booker talks about “Miss Texas”, Corey mentions her time in Global Wrestling… Well Corey, it was USWA, but close enough.
– New Day defends their titles tonight against Rusev & Del Rio tonight. New Day film videos dressed up as League of Nation members and mock them (from youtube). A bunch of unfunny tweets follow.
This is followed up by the League of Nations backstage at Raw. Del Rio & Rusev mock Barrett & Sheamus for losing, but it’s all in fun. They’re still a faction, FELLLAAAAAAA.
Booker T straight up says “Wade Barrett is INJURY PRONE”… WoW….
Scott tries to be friendly with Booker, but Book just tells him he will talk with him later, not even answering Scott’s questions… Jeeze.
– So Sami Zayn has arrived, and Kevin Owens is more scared of him than John Cena, Dean Ambrose, or anyone else he has worked… Zayn makes his WWE roster singles debut against the Miz tonight.
– The proverbial ROCK video to promote him being at Mania, since he doesn’t have time for Raw…
– Stanford hypes the Mania card, and mentions the Andre Battle Royal, which apparently WILL be happening again.
– We go back to last Raw with Shane McMahon and his confrontation with Vince and “security”. Undertaker is at Raw tonight to confront the McMahons.
WWE Raw Report 3/14/16 from the CONSOL Energy Center in Pittsburgh, PA.
– Raw kicks off with your typical New Day intro and promo. They rip on the League of Nations, they promote their new Booty ‘s cereal, no seriously it’s real… And New… Day Rocks…
So we’re kicking the show off with a match for once, that’s something different…
MATCH #1: TAG CHAMPS THE NEW DAY (w/Kofi) vs. RUSEV & ALBERTO DEL RIO (w/the League)
Xavier & Big E are defending tonight. Big E locks Rusev in an abdominal stretch and starts playing the drums on his ASS. Unicorn stampede follows, Woods plays the part of Kofi ending it with the dropkick in the corner. The League finally take over on Big E, and do their own little stampede in the League corner. JBL compares the League to the 4 Horsemen… Cummon John.
Del Rio with a couple of near falls on Big E, but Xavier gets a hot tag. Woods lands the Honor Roll clothesline and controls Alberto until Barrett distracts from ringside and ADR takes over with an enzuigiri, and we’re off to commercial.
Back from break, Rusev has Woods in a super exciting bearhug and turns it into a fall away slam for 2. ADR with a cross armbreaker on Woods as he hangs over the top rope. Woods escapes and plants a knee to ADR’s head to hot tag to Big E…. Big E explodes on Rusev with a pair of overhead belly to bellies and a big splash. Big E tries the Big Ending, but Rusev escapes and lands a spinning heel kick.
New Day manage to maintain control, Big E plants Rusev with a Snake Eyes into the knee of Woods, then Woods with a springboard DDT, but ADR breaks the count. Del Rio double stomps Big E to the floor. This distraction allows Rusev to land the roundhouse kick, but Woods kicks out!!!
Rusev calls for the Accolade, but Kofi distracts. The League comes after Kofi, but Kingston dives onto Sheamus, and then sends Barrett into the barricade. This distracts Rusev who reaches for Kingston, and Woods rolls Rusev up…1….2….3…. New Day retains in 13:37.
The League then immediately attack New Day and lay out all three members. Then it’s a Bull Hammer to Kofi. A Brogue Kick to Big E. Then the Del Rio double stomp to Woods, AND the Accolade follows. The League then celebrate to boos. This was a very extended beat down segment. It got heat, did it’s purpose for Mania.
Decent enough for a TV match. Is it me, or is Woods a better fit with Big E than Kingston?
— Commercial Break —
DEAN AMBROSE / BROCK LESNAR SEGMENT
And here comes Dean Ambrose out to the ring… Ambrose wishes he could say he’s WWE Champion, but he knows HHH isn’t feeling too good right now, and HHH has learned what happens when you don’t show Ambrose the proper respect… That leads us to WrestleMania….
CUE BRRRRRROCK LESNAR… He and Paul Heyman stop on the stage. And the Heyman promo begins. Pau says that any fight that features Lesnar is the MAIN EVENT of the evening. Heyman pleads with Ambrose to stop provoking Lesnar because Dean won’t make it to Mania. Ambrose mocks Brock doing his “bouncey thing”. lol…
Heyman cuts Dean off, promotes WrestleMania, and says he and Brock are leaving…. Paul walks away… Brock continues to stand on stage…. BROCK STARTS WALKING TO THE RING….. OHHH SHIT
Brock makes it to ringside before Heyman runs down and stops him… Dean Ambrose pulls out a CROWBAR… But Brock doesn’t want to back down. Lesnar circles the ring and teases leaving but charges the ring!!! Lesnar up on the apron but Ambrose swings the crowbar, just missing Brock… Lesnar backs off but stares Dean down…
Aaaannnd off to commercial.
Hey, 40 minutes into Raw and we’ve actually spent every segment thus far to build two Mania matches… Congrats to the WWE writing staff…
— Commercial Break —
MATCH #2: RYBACK VS. SIN CARA (w/Kalisto)
For some reason Kalisto is with Cara, even though Cara never accompanies Kalisto. Cara is wearing all black. “Goldberg” chants start immediately. Ryback just mauls Cara until he misses a splash. But Ryback comes back with a high launching backdrop. More domination from Ryback. Cara finally mounts a comeback with some quick fall attempts to no avail, and he sends Ryback to the floor… Cara hits a suicide dive and rolls Ryback back inside… Cara springboards right into SHELL SHOCK… Ryback goes for the pin, but stops and hits a second SHELL SHOCK and gets the win in 4:12. CROWD IS DEAD
They managed to kill all of Ryback’s heat… AGAIN.
Ryback tells Kalisto that’s what happens when a good big guy beats a good little guy, size DOES matter. Ryback challenges Kalisto to a title match at WrestleMania…
– Stephanie McMahon is next… Blah.
— Commercial Break —
So Burger King Hot Dogs are sponsoring WWE, so for some reason we get a video about Mad DOG Vachon, the Junyard DOG, and Road DOGG… OOOOOOOOOOOO-K.
STEPHANIE MCMAHON / HHH / DOLPH ZIGGLER SEGMENT
Steph welcomes us to Raw, 54 minutes late. She comes out alone, yet immediately introduces HHH, because they need separate intros or something. He’s not selling the Ambrose match at all, and mocks Ambrose failing. HHH talks about people and their HOPES. But everyone fails and blame the Authority. He talks about people who hate their jobs, their bosses, their hopes to win the lotto, your wife leaves you, you’re a loser so your kids don’t visit you, you sit around with your highschool friends and drink because they’re losers to. The fans love Ambrose and Reigns because they give the fans hope.
DOLPH ZIGGLER INTERRUPTS!!!!
Ziggler enters in a suit, to everyones surprise. Stephanie says “speaking of failures”. Ziggler says he knows his place, it’s right here busting his ass for the fans every night. Steph tells Dolph he’s not above being fired. Ziggler says he’s been threatened of being fires a million times, just last week even over his Tweet…. But he’s been threatened so many times, he doesn’t care anymore… He’s not going to quit, they can’t break him, he will not quit…
Ziggler says he and Ambrose aren’t failures, they’re just screwed by the Authority’s system. Ziggler says they can fire him and do whatever, but he;s not leaving… Steph starts to fire him, but Trips says it’s not best for business…
HHH says the fans love Ziggler cuz he’s a lovable loser like they are. HHH tries to talk Ziggler into joining the Authority. Ziggler says he would never side with HHH, and he’d never side with his idiot wife…. Stephanie SLAPS Ziggler.
Stephanie says Dolph can have ANY match he wants at Mania, besides the WWE Title match. All he has to do tonight is win one match. She’s going to break his spirit tonight. Dolph tells Steph to name anything. STEPHANIE MAKES HHH VS. ZIGGLER for TONIGHT… HHH doesn’t seem to be expecting it, but isn’t against it.
Well this is interesting… Dolph goes from the Miz to HHH… Curious to see how this plays out.
— Commercial Break —
– Kevin Owens on commentary
MATCH #3: SAMI ZAYN VS. THE MIZ
Zayn with some fancy footwork early, Miz bails. Zayn teases a dive but Miz moves, Zayn lands on his feet… Miz sends Zayn into the barricade, but Zami jumps and lands on his feet on the barricade and hits Miz with a moonsault as we head to break…
Back from break, Miz has Zayn in a rest hold. Miz continues control, Zayn counters the Skull Crushing Finale with a victory roll for 2. Miz right back on top. Zayn fights back and hits a double jump cross body for 2… Miz rolls outside, Zayn with a somersault plancha out onto Miz on the floor… Kevin Owens gets up from commentary to confront Zayn, but MIZ ATTACKS OWENS for leaving him last week… Miz drops Owens, and the match is back in the ring. Miz with a near fall in a cradle… Owens distracts Miz, and Zayn lands HELLUVA KICK and pins Miz in 7:14.
Oh dear God, they’re putting Miz in the Owens/Zayn Mania match… That should ruin that. I can only hope I’m wrong.
– Renee Young backstage with the League of Nations. They lost the title match but they sent a message. Sheamus challenges New Day to a 6-man match at Mania… I think it’s a 6-man? Sheamus says it won’t be a comedy, it’ll be a tragedy.
— Commercial Break —
MATCH #4: BRIE BELLA & ALICIA FOX VS. NAOMI & TAMINA
Before the match can start, LANA makes her way out… Naomi attacks Foxy to start. Team BAD control, Foxy finally fights back and tags Brie. Brie goes right into her moves, the second rope dropkick, YES kicks and the knee to the face on Tamina. Brie with the Bella Face Buster for 2, but Naomi breaks it up. The heels dump Foxy from the ring, then Lana distracts the referee so Team BAD can double team Brie for the win to NO REACTION in 2:39…
After the match Lana distracts Alicia, and Team BAD drop Foxy with a double boot to the face.
– The Social Outcasts advertise Burger King Hot Dogs…
— Commercial Break —
– Jojo interviews Paige backstage. So she still exists… Lana interrupts and bashes Paige. Paige says she’d be happy to show Lana what a REAL WWE Diva does. Team BAD shows up to seemingly defend Lana and threaten Paige… So Lana vs. Brie looks like it’s turning into a 6 Divas tag for Mania.
– Renee Young with Charlotte & Ric Flair now. She’s know Sasha & Becky forever. She says she was holding Banks hair back when Sasha was throwing up from nerves before her first match, she’s no boss. And Lynch would stand around after training like a loser waiting for someone to include her. Charlotte says they’re great, but she’s better, and being champion proves it. Charlotte says Becky & Sasha will learn on Smackdown that they can’t run from their past forever.
Nice, they squeezed both Divas Mania matches into one segment build… I can’t complain. 😛
— Commercial Break —
– The Dudleys are on commentary.
MATCH #5: THE USOS VS. THE SOCIAL OUTCASTS
It’s Bo Dallas & Adam Rose in the match, Slater & Axel at ringside. The Usos start superkicking everyone in site, lay out all four Outcasts like garbage. The Dudleys begin to leave but the Usos stare them down. Uso top rope splashg ends Dallas after just 1:53.
The Usos make a statement to the Dudley Boyz.
– Backstage, Mick Foley talks to Dean Ambrose and tells Dean this Lesnar match is a bad idea… Foley asks Dean “WHY?”. Dean asks Foley about being on top of Hell in a Cell and why he kept going. Mick says because he’s Mick Foley and that’s what he did… Ambrose replies, I’m Dean Ambrose and that’s what I do…
Foley backs Ambrose and tells Dean to take Brock to the darkest place in his mind. Foley snatches the crowbar from Dean and says he has a present for him. Foley says he’s passing the torch and hands Ambrose a big red box… Dean opens the box to find a BARBED WIRE BASEBALL BAT….
Ambrose picks up the bat and smiles…
HHH vs. Ziggler is next.
— Commercial Break —
MATCH #6: WWE CHAMPION HHH (w/Steph) VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER
The stip here is, if Dolph wins he gets any match he wants at Mania, besides a WWE title shot… Surely he wouldn’t add himself to the Taker match to screw the Authority…. or worse yet, turn on Shane….
Very basic start to get things going. Lots of tackles, drop downs, side headlock takeovers, hip tosses. Very old school slow build for the first few minutes. Dolph with a series of near falls on a school boy, backslide, and a dropkick. Trips takes over and takes the match outside where he sends Dolph shoulder first into the barricade as we head to break…
Back from break, we see HHH has suplexed Dolph stomach first onto the barricade, and HHH has Ziggler in an armbar. HHH single arm DDT gets a near fall. Dolph fights back with a series of punches, but runs right into the HHH HIGH KNEE that gets another near fall. Harley Race kneedrop gets another 2 on Ziggz. Trips sends Dolph back to the floor and shoulder first into the steel steps.
Back inside, HHH maintains control, but jumps off the middle rope into the foot of Ziggler. but THIS CROWD ABSOLUTELY SUCKS… Ziggler starts the comeback, clotheslines, Stinger Splash, neckbreaker, and the crowd finally makes noise… Heart attack elbow drop from Ziggler gets 2 (sorry King).
HHH blocks a Superkick and tries the Pedrigree… Dolph counters with a JACK KNIFE FOR 2…. FAMOUSER!!!! 1…………..2…………………………..HHH kicks out!!!!
HHH comes back with the facebuster on the knee…. But Ziggler right back with the JUMPING DDT…1…………2…………HHH kicks out.
Ziggler rushes HHH but right into a SPINEBUSTER…. Dolph clearly and loudly tells the referee something, and the ref passes it on to HHH. HHH slowly picks Ziggler up, but DOLPH WITH A SUPERKICK!!!! 1……………2……………HHH KICKS OUT… Stephanie is at ringside and is panicking.
HHH retreats outside, Ziggler attacks, but HHH rams Ziggz shoulder into the apron…. Ziggler beats the count back in just at 9…. HHH tries the pedigree spot from Roadblock, but Dolph counters with a backdrop…. HHH BLOCKS the ZIGZAG… PEDIGREE ENDS IT in 17:28…
Well, Dolph has no Mania match now… That served no purpose… Self gratification for HHH…
HHH wins, then Roman Reigns music hits…. Reigns comes out to the stage and stares HHH down… Crowd boos…. Reigns makes his way to the ring and attacks HHH…. Crowd boos the shit out of Reigns as he beats down HHH… They’re never going to learn…
Reigns beats down HHH outside, beats his face into the announce table like HHH did him. Reigns flings HHH over the table, the crowd BOOS…. HHH throws the announcer chair at Roman. Reigns attacks HHH and throws a referee down…. HHH BUSTS A POP CAN over Reigns head and starts spewing everywhere…. But Reigns fights right back.
The announcers are selling Reigns ridiculously hard. What a joke. Vince feeding lines. Reigns punches HHH around ringside in a most generic beat down, but the announcers are selling it like murder.
The fight goes back over to the tech area, and then to backstage. HHH is bleeding down the side of his head. Reigns throws a trash can at HHH and smashes him with a flat screen TV. The Usos, Swagger, and Mark Henry jump in to calm Roman down. HHH runs off…. Reigns had the intensity of a rock through that entire fight. It was like he was walking through it… That was TERRIBLE. Reigns was HORRIBLE. And the announcers oversold everything he did like murder. That was just crap. Reigns may have made himself even worse off than before. Talk about going through the motions, this guy is NOT ready for this spot.
Up until now, I didn’t want to see the match, I didn’t care about the match. But I accepted this was what we had to deal with… However, after that terrible performance, NO, No Roman Reigns, you don’t belong in that spot, and if they don’t see that after tonight, that’s their own demise. That performance was not WrestleMania storyline worthy. No aggression. No passion. Pathetic.
— Commercial Break —
– And of course, we get a replay of the shitty Reigns return… He did much better than this when he beat HHH down the first time. This set the feud back for me, if anything. I want to see it even less, if that’s possible.
– Jacqueline is in the WWE Hall of Fame for some reason. If she thanks everyone that she, ahem, owes… Then that speech could go on a while.
– Backstage, R-Truth is in a penguin costume and comes up on Goldust. Truth asks Goldust to be his penguin/mate/partner. Goldust refuses… And for some reason this shit continues… Again. UGH
— Commercial Break —
– Jericho heeling it in a promo. He’s mad the fans chose AJ Styles over him. Jericho says Styles is a hack and not as good as the fans think. Jericho says he’s AJ Styles daddy. lol
MATCH #7: CHRIS JERICHO VS. NEVILLE
Neville be needing a Mania spot. Neville right away with a variety of kicks and he sends Jericho out to the floor and the show abruptly cuts to a commercial break maybe a minute in.
Back from break, Neville tries to slide through Jericho’s legs and comes down on his knee bad. Then he lands a jawbreaker by dropping to his knees and does further damage. Neville lands a rana trying to use only his good leg for 2. He seems to have injured his left knee for real… Neville tries to stand up but falls to his knees.
Jericho tries to end the match and rolls Neville up, Neville doesn’t kick out, but the referee still doesn’t call it 3… Very weird… Jericho gets up pissed, and shoves referee Charles Robinson screaming at Charles that “he’s hurt”… Neville gets a DQ win in maybe 5:00… Neville appears to be legit injured, appeared to be his left knee or ankle. Ugh.
Jericho quickly takes the mic and trash talks to the fans until AJ Styles makes his way out. Styles hits the Springboard Forearm and lays Jericho out…
This all really felt weird. Hoping Neville is okay, but he couldn’t put weight on the leg. It didn’t look good.
— Commercial Break —
VINCE MCMAHON / SHANE MCMAHON / UNDERTAKER SEGMENT
This crowd is so bad he calls them out on it… Wow.
Vince talks about Shane being a shell of himself after WrestleMania who USED to be Vince McMahon’s son.
Vince calls the Undertaker out to the ring. Taker takes his good old time getting there. Vince tells Taker never to put his hands on him again. So Taker loses his jacket & hat. Vince apologizes. lol.
Vince calls Taker killing Shane what’s best for business…
CUE SHANE MCMAHON… Wow, THIS CROWD SUCKS….
Worst crowd in a long time.
Shane says Vince is NOT best for business anymore. He then proceeds to explain to Taker that he’s going to throw everything at Taker as long as there’s a beat left in his heart. Shane says he’s doing it for his future, his children’s future, the future of the company.
Taker says and it still won’t be enough…
Shane says he’s shocked that Taker has become a Puppet to Vince’s puppet master.
Taker says nobody controls him.
Shane says Taker has becomes Vince’s BITCH….
Taker grabs Shane in a chokeslam, but Shane escapes and starts hammering Taker with lefts and rights…. Shane-O-Mac shuffle!!! But Taker grabs him by the throat again, Shane escapes again and starts pounding on Taker once more!!! Shane backs up and VINCE SHOVES SHANE INTO A TAKER CHOKESLAM!!!!
Vince starts mocking Shane on the mat, when he realizes Taker is now staring at Vince… Vince drops to his knees and awkwardly crawls out of the ring as Taker goes after him… Did I mention that this crowd absolutely SUCKS???
Vince scurries away, Shane is down… Taker’s music plays as he stares down Vince and the show ends…
This show had it’s hits and misses. HHH vs. Ziggler certainly wasn’t bad for free TV. Even the New Day/League of Nations match was pretty decent. I’d have to believe Jericho & Neville would have been fun, but unfortunate circumstances prevented that. I’ll give them one thing, EVERY segment focused on Mania, as it should be.
