The “OH MY GOD!” Video Review: ECW’s Massacre on Queens Blvd. 4/13/96

ECW’s “Massacre on Queens Blvd” 1996-04-13 from Lost Battalion Hall Queens, NY

Champions
World: Raven
TV: 2 Cold Scorpio
Tag Team: The Eliminators

We get right to the action at the opening of the tape and go right into the entrances for our first match of. JT “The Extreme Italian Stallion” Smith & Damien Stone come to the ring. Joey Styles is pissed that Smith is dragging the Italian flag on the ground behind him/ JT Smith gets on the mic and lets us know that he researched his family tree and found out he had a cousin in ECW and it’s Little Guido. Stone questions if Smith and him are really cousins and Smith tells him he’s from Sicily. Well that’s racist. Highway to hell hits over the sound system and the crowd goes nuts. Dances with Dudley is being wheeled to the ring on a stretcher after suffering broken ribs at the hands of the Headhunters. This is Big Dicks first match in MANY months. Buh Buh grabs the mic and here comes my favorite part of the show. Buh Buh does his stuttering and D-Von Dudley hits the ring making his debut. Lots of F Bombs from D-Von and we get the Dudley Commandments for the first time! Thou Shall Not Steal. Thou Shall Not Kill and Thou Shall Not Fuck with the Dudleys! D-Von takes out Guido and throws him out of the ring. We get the bell for our first match

JT “The Extreme Italian Stallion” Smith & “Little Guido” Damien Stone vs. Buh Buh Ray & Big Dick Dudley (w/Dances with Dudley, Sign Guy Dudley & D-Von Dudley) ref John “Pee Wee” Moore

D-Von continues to beat on Guido outside the ring. Buh Buh misses and splash on Smith. Smith goes for a pin but D-Von breaks it up with a chair shot. A few more for both Guido and Smith until it breaks over Smith’s head. Big Dicks crutch then gets broken over Smith. D-Von takes out the ref and just CRUSHES Moore with a chair to the head. Ref John Finnegan comes to the ring and calls for a DQ at 3:17.

D-Von gets on the mic to say that all the BS with the Dudleys is going to stop and its time to get down to business. His voice is completely gone already he grabs the chair and hits Moore a few extra times. Buh Buh covers him and counts his own three. Big Dick is still in control of the family as he sends D-Von out of the ring so Buh Buh can dance. After the Dudleys leave Smith gets back on the mic and says it’s a good thing the left cause he would kick their ass if they were still there. D-Von hits the ring and chases Smith and Stone out. Smith runs right into ANOTHER chair to the head from Buh Buh.

Hack Myers vs. Billy Black

Black jumps Hack to start the match as Joey tells us Hack is wrestling hurt. Black dumps Hack and comes off the top with a double axe handle to the floor. Not as pretty as when Randy Savage did it. Myers takes over on offense and throws Black into the crowd. Black hits a nasty uppercut back in the ring and a belly to back. He goes up top and tries to hit a bulldog but Myers doesn’t go down. We get a “This match sucks dick” chant and I’d have to agree. Black misses a moonsault Myers hits the knee driving facebuster at 5:56 for a rare victory.

Tag Team Champions The Eliminators vs. Joel Hartgood & El Puerto Ricano, ref Jim Molineaux

The champs hit the ring and go right on the attack with belt shots and some belly to belly suplexes followed by a pair of kicks to each opponent. Double springboard moonsaults. Kronus put Ricano on his shoulders and Saturn comes of the top with a chair to the face! One for Hartgood! Total Elimination to both men follows for the win in just a few minutes. Saturn gets on the mic and calls out the Gangstas again and we get another huge brawl between the four of them. The locker room empties and the Eliminators bail to the locker room. New Jack hits a cop and the Gangstas get arrested. Mustafa’s handcuffs break but he plays nice and keeps his hands behind his back the whole time.

World Champion Raven (w/ Kimona Wanalaya, “Dancin” Stevie Richards & The Blue Meanie) vs. Damien 666, ref John Finnegan

Before the match some women jumps in the ring and makes out with Meanie then licks whipped cream off of his belly. It’s gross. Raven smacks Kimona and Stevie stomps her. Stevie gets on the mic and runs down Damien who flips off Stevie. We get the bell and our World Title match begins. Damien with the early advantage hits a DDT for two and drop kick that sends Raven to the floor. Slingshot plancha to Raven and a top rope crossbody onto the Meanie. Raven gets sent into the crowd but to ringside and back into the crowd again. Back in the ring Damien hits and Arabian facebuster, crossbody and top rope drop kick for a 2 count after each. Damien goes up top again and Raven launches him into the guardrail then up and over it. Back in the ring Raven in control until Damien goes low and then hits a spin kick. Damien gets a chair from the crowd but Raven cuts him off but misses a corner charge. Damien with the chair to Raven’s back. Body slam on the chair followed up by a moonsault for 2. Diving head-butt for another 2. Damien off the second rope but Raven reverses into a power bomb and then the DDT to retain the title at 8.27.

“The Franchise” Shane Douglas hits the ring and shit talks Shawn Michaels and WrestleMania. He challenges HBK to come to ECW so he can kick his ass. The crowd just loves Douglas. RVD was originally scheduled to be the opponent to night but is injured. Douglas says “I’ll give every wrestler here tonight the same opportunity I offered to Dick Flair, to that piece of shit Hulk Hogan. To that cock sucker Razor Ramon. To that heartburn punk Shawn Michaels.” Come to the ring to fight. Ravens music hits and out come the Blue Meanie. Shane Douglas says he doesn’t want to fight Meanie. Axl Rotten hits the ring and hits Meanie in the stomach with his barbed wire bat. Rotten wants a match with Douglas tonight. Rotten slaps Douglas twice and then punches him and we have our match.

”The Franchise” Shane Douglas vs. Axl Rotten ref Jim Molineaux

Rotten pounds on Douglas to start the match and they go to the floor. After 2 minutes of Axl taking to Douglas on the floor they go back into the ring. Douglas fights back but Axl cuts him off quickly. Douglas hits a jawbreaker but can’t get the slam due to the damage his back has taken. Axl locks on an abdominal stretch, which gets reversed with a hip toss. Axl locks in a bear hug and drives Douglas into the turnbuckle. Hard clothesline by Axl for 2. Douglas fights back and they mess up an inverted atomic drop spot. They do it again and Axl goes to the floor. Douglas with a slingshot crossbody and follows that up with chairs to the back. In the ring and Axl hits Douglas with the chair. Axl ducks a clothesline but turns around and gets hit with the belly to belly. Douglas picks up the victory in 6.55.

Shane gets on the mic after the match as the crowd chants for Axl. Douglas joins in the chant and tells Axl that he respects him after that match.

”The Human Suplex Machine” Taz (w/ Bill Alfonso & Team Taz) vs. “Lionheart” Chris Jericho (w/ Todd Gordon) “Shoot Fight Rules” Match, referee Sensei Tom Delevano

We get the first appearance of Team Taz here tonight. Alfonso and Gordon are going to be handcuffed together at ringside for the match. Jericho starts the match with kicks to the ribs. Taz grabs the leg and takes him down. Side suplex dumps Jericho on his head. Jericho with a clinch and knees. Taz with a side bow and arrow Jericho gets to the ropes. T-Bone Tazplex. Jericho flips out of a German runs into a head and arm hold but reverses. Back up standing switch on a German suplex attempt and Jericho hits the German. One of the Team Taz members hits Jim Molineaux and takes the keys to the handcuffs out of his pockets. Alfonso is now free and hits Jericho with a chair behind the refs back. Tazmission for the win at 3.19. Delevano sees the chair and questions Alfonso about it but then hits Todd Gordon with hit and locks him in the Tazmission! Alfonso then gives Delevano and handful of cash.

”Primetime” Brian Lee & The Bruise Brothers vs. Tommy Dreamer & The Pitbulls (w/Beulah & Francine), ref John Finnegan

As expected when these six men get near each other a huge brawl immediately breaks out and they are in the crowd in less than 30 seconds. Chairs and fists a flyin. After four minutes of brawling in the crowd they hit the streets!! After denting a few cars with each others heads they head back inside. After 6.30 Pitbull 1 and a Harris Brother hit the ring to continue the brawl there. Dreamer hits Lee with a nasty chair shot, kick down stairs and DDT for 2. Super Bomb onto Lee. Dreamer goes for the cover but Raven hits the ring and DDTs Tommy. The Bruise Brothers take out the Pitbulls with the big boot into the chair. Lee places two chairs on each side of Dreamers head and the Bruise Brothers big boot them. Lee covers for the victory at 11.45. After the match the Bruise Brothers go to post Dreamer again. Beulah jumps in to tell Raven to stop them. Francine fearing for Beulah’s health moves her out of the way and takes a big boot. Joey gives us a very concerned “Oh my god” Dreamer back in with two DDTs on Dreamer as the Pitbulls chase away the Bruise Brothers and Lee. They lay Raven on a table and super bomb Tommy onto Raven and through the table and another “Oh my god” from Joey.

Sabu vs. Mikey Whipwreck, ref John Finnegan

Joey lets us know that this is a match between the only two Triple Crown winners in ECW history. They trade single leg take downs to start. Sabu lays Mikey on the second rope and drops a leg drop from the top rope. Mikey hits a Rocker Dropper and a drop kick that sends Sabu to the floor. We get a “Sabu” chant from half the crowd and a “Mikey” chant from the other half. DDT by Sabu and he throws a chair into the ring and it hits Mikey. Air Sabu misses but then so does Air Mikey. Tornado DDT by Mikey but he misses a splash. Sabu busts out the triple jump moonsault for the first time in ECW. He goes to the outside and sets up a table between the ring apron and guardrail. Sabu sends Mikey into the crowd and climbs on the table. He hits the ropes runs across the table and dives into the crowd with a crossbody. Back in the ring Sabu blocks a tornado DDT with an inverted atomic drop. Sabu puts Mikey up top and climbs next to him but Mikey shoves him off and Sabu goes crashing through the table. Mikey comes off the tope with a cross body to the floor. Slingshot somersault leg drop by Sabu. Mikey takes a front turnbuckle bump and Sabu follows with a clothesline, springboard clothesline and slingshot moonsault for 2. A second somersault leg drop attempt misses. Back on the floor and Sabu puts a table in the crowd. Triple jump somersault from inside the ring to out but it misses! “Oh MY GOD”. Sabu is broken. Mikey goes for a German suplex but Sabu can’t even jump to sell it and just falls backwards. Mikey misses with a slingshot somersault from the apron. Mikey catches Sabu on the top rope and hits a bulldog. Mikey goes for a chair shot but just punches Sabu instead. Mikey sets the chair up open in the ring and plans to bulldog Sabu onto it. Sabu. Sabu fights it off leaves Mikey on the turnbuckle runs up the chair jumps onto the ropes and frankenstieners Mikey for the win at 15.21 After the match Sabu shows his respect for Mikey and they shake hands.

Enter Sandman by Metallica plays over the loudspeaker and here comes The Sandman and “The Walking Riot” Missy Hyatt to the ring. They are kissing and licking each other and Missy is scratching up Sandman’s stomach, kinky. TV Champion 2 Cold Scorpio is out next with a Singapore cane. Him and Missy grind with each other in the ring. This match was originally supposed to be a three-way dance but with the Gangstas getting arrested it is now just going to be a tag team match between Sandman and Scorpio versus the Headhunters. The Headhunters hit the ring and attack.

The Sandman (w/“The Walking Riot” Missy Hyatt) & TV Champion 2 Cold Scorpio vs. The Headhunters (w/“The Godfather of Professional Wrestling” Damien Kane & Lady Alexandra) vs. The Gangstas, ref Jim Molineaux

Like many other ECW main events we hit the floor right away. Chair shots back and forth with Sandman taking a particularly brutal one. Scorpio with a moonsault off the top rope into the second row “OH MY GOOOD!” In the ring Sandman gets power slammed for a two count. Sandman hits a top rope leg drop but not before falling off the top rope. Missy and Lady Alexandra get into a catfight. Sandman gets power bombed in the ring. A table gets set up and Sandman is put on it. Headhunter A with a Moonsault but the table doesn’t break. Splash off the top by Headhunter B onto Scorpio. The Gangstas hit the ring still in handcuffs! The Eliminators hit the ring and take out the Gangstas with chairs. Total Elimination on Mustafa. Scorpio and Sandman get back in the ring and stare down the Eliminators, who leave the ring. In all the chaos the Headhunters walked out of the match so now it looks like we have….

The Sandman (w/ “The Walking Riot” Missy Hyatt) & TV Champion 2 Cold Scorpio vs. The Gangstas, ref Jim Molineaux

Scorpio hits a moonsault on New Jack for 2. They all go to the floor and we have another big brawl. After a few minutes Scorpio and New Jack get back in the ring. Mustafa sneaks up behind Scorpio and hits him with a neck break. Mustafa keeps Sandman from getting in the ring with a BRUTAL chair shot. Belly to back top rope clothesline combo by the Gangstas. Mustafa hits a running power slam and New Jack hits the 187 for the pin in 13.52. Joey closes the show as the Gangstas celebrate their victory.

My Thoughts on the Show

A SUPER hot opening segment that introduced us to a new tag team in Smith and Stone and the debut of D-Von Dudley. D-Von was portrayed as a lunatic and really put over the character. I can’t wait to see how he develops and fits into the family dynamics. Big Dick is clearly still the head as D-Von did show that he was afraid of him but D-Von also is a loose cannon it seems. The tag title match was absolutely brutal while it lasted and the brawl between the champions and The Gangstas was short but really has me looking forward to the match happening. A strong showing by Damien 666 in the title match. Raven really let him get his offense in and only had the advantage for about a minute in the middle and then hit two moves at the end for the win. Decent match that you knew the outcome of going in. I’m a huge fan of Shane Douglas (I know, I know, this is the internet and I’m supposed to hate him) so any time he touches the mic I get happy. The match itself was decent but again like the one before it nothing special. Another fun brawl during the six-man tag match continues the Dreamer/Raven storyline. The Sabu vs. Mikey match was of course a spotfest like every single other Sabu match ever. If you like Sabu, which I do, there’s no reason for you not to like this match. I was not all that into the main event. The brawling was pretty average and I not being a fan of New Jack. I never really like seeing him on my TV. D-Von Dudley’s debut was by far the high point of this show. The crowd was SUPER into the opening match and his debut. From there it never seemed to get back up to that high point. They were into the 6-man and the main event just not as much. Mildly recommended show. Depending on how they edit this for TV you may be able to skip it and just watch that.