Better late than never…. I hope… I started reviewing the show live on Monday, but after the initial segment, it became clear it just wasn’t going to get done with the visiting family hanging around for the holidays… So, anyway, I still wanted to watch the show so I figured why not write a report for archival purposes…
WWE Raw Results From The Target Center in Minneapolis, MN 12/22/14
Michael Cole makes sure to note it’s a Raw CHRISTMAS… Not Holiday… But Christmas… At least Vince McMahon
– We’ve got the HULKSTER in the ring to open the show… Hulk is dressed as Santa Claus… Brother… Since Mick Foley declined to work the show, Hulk makes the fans chant “Ho Ho Hogan”… Hulk talks the big, nasty, stinky, wart infester giant Big Show vs. , plus Ambrose vs. Wyatt in Miracle on 34th Street Fight.
John Cena interrupts… He makes FROZEN jokes and we get to relive the Cage Match finish from last month when Lesnar aided Rollins in defeating Cena… Cena wants a match with Rollins TONIGHT!!!
Seth Rollins interrupts from the stage… He talks about beating Cena in the cage, then uses some of Cena’s lines against him. Seth is also upset at Ho-Ho-Hogan running the show instead of the Authority. Fans chant “Ho-Ho-Hogan”, ugh… Rollins continues to explain his sadness for the lack of the Authority, and blames people like Cena and Sting. Rollins then threatens Hogan Claus and tells him he needs to grant his wish. Rollins wants Santa With Muscles to force Cena to bring the Authority back…
Cena says Seth is putting the fans to sleep. Cena tells Seth to come down to the ring and he will put his neon green sneakers so far up his ass that Seth with spit green for 2 weeks…
Hulk says he doesn’t have power to bring the Authority back, only Cena does. So instead, Hogan Claus makes a match with Cena vs. Rollins for right now…. Well, after the break.
–Commercial Break–
1. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins (w/Mercury & Noble)
Bells sounds as soon as we return from break. Seth stalls early and gets some cheap offense on Cena, finishing up with a middle rope Blockbuster for a 2 count… Cena comes back and busts out a STANDING DROPKICK out of nowhere. Hah. Seth goes right back under control however. Seth grabs the MITB briefcase teasing to hit Cena with it. He uses this to distract the referee while Joey Mercury blasts Cena with something behind the ref’s back. This spot gets a 2 count, and we’re off to commercial.
Back from break, Cena comes back from a chinlock, but misses a shoulderblock and falls to the floor. Rollins lands a suicide dive out onto Cena. Back inside, Seth lands some near falls including the Del Rio Superkick while Cena was on his knees gimmick. Cena comes back to try the AA, Rollins escapes and tries a standing Sliced Bread, but Cena counters that with his version of the Blue Thunder Bomb. Cena tries Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Rollins goes for a kick from his back, Cena sees it coming and flips Seth over to go for the STF… Rollins makes it to the ropes, but Cena grabs him by his feet to yank him off, the momentum carries Seth to his feet and Rollins lands a pele enzuigiri…. Hope you followed that sequence, lots of counters and moves there…
Seth charges at Cena but gets tossed straight up into the air and down into a powerbomb…1…..2…….Seth kicks out!!! The two men trade punches, Cena with another Blue Thunder Bomb and 5 knuckle shuffle…. Cena goes for AA but the stooges distract… Cena then backdrops Rollins out of the ring onto Noble & Mercury… I’ll be damned if Rollins doesn’t make Cena matches bearable to watch…
Back inside, Cena comes off the top rope with the Famouser thingy….1…………….2………..Rollins kicks out again!!! Cena tries a Superplex, but Rollins counters and lands the running Powerbomb into the corner on John for another near fall… Rollins charges with a running boot but Cena ducks and hooks the STF!!!! Rollins reaches the ropes, but Cena pulls him back and locks in the STF again… No wait… The Stooges are in the ring!!! Mercury distracts Cena while Noble charges from behind… Cena sidesteps, the stooges collide. Cena with the AA on both Stooges AT THE SAME TIME!!!
But wait, here comes Rollins with the MITB briefcase, he swings at Cena but misses. Seth drops the case and Cena finally lands the AA and it’s over in just under 17:00…
Nicely done… A fine present for Christmas… Cena goes over for the young fans, and Rollins pushes this thing to a fun match for me… It’s a win/win….
–Commercial Break–
– Kane steps in front of a decorated wreath and proclaims “Bah Humbug”… Cute
2. Jack Swagger vs. Fandango (w/Rosa)
Some headlock crap starts the match, Fandango bails, back inside it’s all Swagger, big boot, Jack tries for the ankle lock, Fandango tries to block a Swagger Bomb, but Jack lands it anyway… Fandango rolls to the apron, the ref tries to hold Jack back, and Fandango lands a trio of jumping kicks from the apron that lay Swagger out. Top rope legdrop ends it in 2:00… That was crap.
– In the back, Dolph Ziggler talks about his title match against Luke Harper tonight. Dolph mentions he’s a 4-time IC Champion, ignoring his World title reign because that’s what the boss told him to do, I suppose… No Christmas miracles tonight, just a Xmas present, so says Dolph. The present being, Dolph beats Harper to retain.
–Commercial Break–
– Since the New Day gimmick is failing miserably, we get a replay of the final New Day vignette… Something isn’t
3. R-Truth vs. Adam Rose
Truth does his jiggy dance stuff. Rose responds with some comedy heel dancing junk and tries to sucker kick Truth. R-Truth catches the foot, spins Rose around and rolls him up for the win in 54 seconds… Yes, for the win. Cole sounds shocked that Truth won.
After the match, Adam Rose lays out the Bunny with a spinebuster and continues to pummel said Bunny, then sits him up against the steel steps and drives a knee into his Bunny face… Rose then rips off the Bunny’s neckbrace and tosses the hare upside down into the barricade. Rose then shoves his Rosebuds around and stomps away…
–Commercial Break–
4. Roman Reigns vs. The Big Show
This match is made after their recent interactions. We get a Big Show inserted promo before the match, he threatens to knock Reigns out tonight. Reigns gets an inserted promo as well, Roman says the Holiday season is about giving, and he’s going to give Show everything he has tonight… Show controls early, even picking Reigns up into a press slam position before dropping him across the ropes. Reigns comes back and escapes Show’s cobra clutch thing. Roman with a Samoan Drop, big clothesline drops Show. Big Show back up and tries a Chokeslam, but Reigns takes Show down and lands the dropkick on the apron spot… Now out on the floor, Roman Reigns with a SUPERMAN PUNCH that knocks Show over the Announcer’s Table…. Show gets counted out in 4:30, and he’s pissed off… Reigns gets the win…
– Renee Young interviews Dean Ambrose. Hogan Claus has made a “Mirracle on 34th Street Fight” for tonight’s main event between Dean and Bray Wyatt. Ambrose makes a few bad Christmas puns to involve kicking Bray’s ass into the promo. Not one of Dean’s best.
–Commercial Break–
5. Natalya (w/Tyson Kidd) vs. Brie Bella (w/Nikki)
We’re reminded of Tyson checking on Nikki Bella after the last fight the girls had. Brie dominates this entire match, and it’s boring as hell. Brie Mode running knee to the face on Nattie… Natalya rolls through on something and makes a little bit of offense for herself. Nattie tries for the Sharpshooter, but Brie counters with an inside cradle 1…2…Nattie reverses the cradle…1…2…3! Nattie wins… I didn’t time this crap, I’d guess around 3:30 to 4:00…
Tyson celebrates with his wife while Nikki gets up on the apron… Nattie knocks Nikki to the floor and Nikki sells her knee again…
–Commercial Break–
– THE ASCENSION WILL RISE. Promo on the Ascension heading to WWE… Road Warriors 2k15.
– Inserted promo from Gold & Stardust. They are not fans of Rudolph, or El Torito, who is dressed as Rudolph tonight…
6. Los Matadores (w/Torito) vs. Gold & Stardust
Torito is “El Reino” for tonight, antlers, red nose and all… Torito wants to start the match even though he’s not in the match, I don’t think??? The announcers aren’t even sure… Torito lands an armdrag on Stardust on the floor, a bit more reindeer comedy before the match gets going with Goldust and a Matador. Stardust tags in but comes off the top rope right into a dropkick from Diego. Hot tag to Fernando, flying huracan rana from the middle rope on Goldust. Tag to Torito… Okay, so Torito IS in this match… That clears up that…. Goldust has Torito up for a slam, but spins Torito’s feet into Stardust, knocking Star out of the ring… Goldust is stunned and catches a BACK STABBER from one of the Matadors, and Torito lands a Lionsault on Goldust to end the match in 3:30…
A Dust Brothers split, she’s a coming…
– Luke Harper Promo. He doesn’t believe in giving, he likes taking. Tonight he takes back the IC Title…
–Commercial Break–
7. IC Champion Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper
Harper Ziggler out with a BIG BOOT as Dolph is being introduced… Dolph rolls outside and Harper hits a SUICIDE DIVE next…. Dolph slides out of a powerbomb on the floor, but Luke PLANTS HIM with a spinning Sidewalks slam in the aisle… Back inside, the referee checks to see if Ziggler can even begin the match.. THE MATCH HASN’T EVEN STARTED YET!
As soon as the bell sounds, Harper smashes Ziggler with a Superkick, and then a sit out Powerbomb for a near fall… Luke knocks Dolph around for a bit, counters Ziggler’s standing dropkick and catapults Dolph’s throat under the middle rope. We head to break…
Back from break, Ziggler tries a comeback but gets dropkicked to the floor. Harper drops Dolph face first into the announce table. Ziggler battles back with his standing dropkick, but misses his splash in the corner. Harper with a pump-handle overhead throw for 2… Ziggler blocks a Falcon Arrow, but Harper manages a Michinoku Driver for 2… Lawler is confused as to why it’s called a Michinoku Driver, ugh, come on Jerry….
Dolph counters a powerbomb with a sunset flip for 2… Harper gets pissed and lays Ziggler out with a Big Boot… Harper goes for the discus clothesline but runs into a ZIGGLER SUPERKICK… then Harper STILL responds with the spinning CLOTHESLINE… Insane… Great spot…. Harper gets a near fall….
For the third time tonight, YOU CAN’T POWERBOMB ZIGGLER, Dolph counters this time with a face buster…. AND THE FAMOUSER!!!! 1……….2…..Harper kicks out!!! Ziggler goes for another Famouse… Harper counters into a Powerbomb… BUT YOU CAN’T POWERBOMB ZIGGLER… Dolph escapes again… SUPERKICK BY ZIGGLER… A SECOND SUPERKICK….. ZIGZAG DROPS HARPER!!!! 1………..2………….3!!!!!!!!!!
Ziggler gets the win in 17:30…..
Wow, what a great match… Two good matches on one show??? Wow…. Merry Christmas to me…
Ya know, I’m a big fan of both of these guys, but some of their singles matches for me have been missing that cspecial chemistry…. You can throw that out the window tonight… This was a great match…
–Commercial Break–
– Edge & Christian host next week’s Raw… Hulk Hogan returns this week for Smackdown….
– It’s PIPER’S PIT time, Roddy Piper’s guests are US Champion Rusev & Lana. A very short promo by Piper before he introduces his guests LAYNA & RUSOV… Lana cuts off Piper and finishes his sentence for him. Lana shits on Christmas in America. Americans pretend to be good people once a year, and we believe in fat santa who gives gifts to spoiled kids. Piper cuts her off and informs her in America we can believe in whatever we want… “USA” chants. Lana tells Piper to “believe in this” as she points to the Titan Tron where we see Rusev take out Ryback from Smackdown…
Rusev asks if we believe now that he can crush Ryback… “Feed Me More” chants… Rusev asks Piper if he believes that Rusev can crush the Hot Rod… Piper calls them Communist Scrooges… Wow… Piper likes his guests so much that he went out and got them a Christmas gift… And he put a bow on it….
IT’S RYBACK…. WITH A BOW ON HIM…. Rusev meets Ryback on the floor and Ryback beats the shit out of Rusev… Now inside the ruing, Rusev takes over, but Ryback catches the big savatte kick. Ryback lays Rusev out with the SPINEBUSTER and sets up for the meathook Clothesline, but Rusev bails….
Piper raises Ryback’s hand as the fans chant “Feed Me More”….
Fun segment, but all I can think is my God they’re going to kill Ryback a second time just to push the Anti-American gimmick that Vince loves so much,
–Commercial Break–
8. Alicia Fox, Emma & Naomi vs. Paige, Cameron & Summer Rae
This is billed as a Santa’s Helpers match as all the Divas are in Holiday costumes, well except Paige who sports a black santa hat, cuz that’s how she rolls… Emma has some comedy fun with Summer to start, but the heels get Emma in their corner. Cameron hits Emma with some type of Codebreaker for 2.. Paige tags in and works over Emma. A double clothesline spot leads to hot tags for Naomi & Cameron. Naomi gets the better and makes a cover, but it’s broken up and we’ve got all 6 girls in the ring… And most of them gets knocked to the floor… It’s back to Naomi & Cameron, Naomi tags to Alicia Fox who lays out Cameron with some cool looking leg move thingy and gets the win in like 5:00… They gave the win to the right girl, Alicia clearly had the best costume. 🙂
–Commercial Break–
– THE ASCENSION get a second vignette. Why not, the show’s three hours…
– Miz Promo, he’s so generous he’s going to let Sandow sing a Christmas jingle… Sandow starts to sing, but he’s cut short on time. Miz sends us off with Sandow mimicking him. lol. What? I like it…
9. The Miz (w/Sandow) vs. Jey Uso (w/Jimmy Uso)
Jey has control early with Sandow taking comedy bumps to follow up the Miz. Miz comes back with a threatening chinlock of doom… Jey escapes and hits a Samoan Drop, Miz back on top tries a Skull Crushing Finale and a Figure Four but fails at both… Jey Uso with a roll up, Miz reverses and hooks the trunk to steal the win in maybe 4:00 tops…
–Commercial Break–
– Scotty Schwartz “Flick” from a Christmas Story is sitting behind the announcers.
Bray Wyatt heads to the ring for a promo. Fans are in “WHAT?” mode, which ruins much of the promo. It’s a good promo on Christmas vs. The Real World… The WWE is killing the character though, and the fans are clearly losing interest in the personality and promos. Follow the buzzards…
Dean Ambrose is on his way out next as we see Christmas trees, wreaths, presents and gift boxes are stacked everywhere around ringside… Dean has a Santa sack with him full of goodies, like a kendo stick decorated as a giant candy cane… The Main Event is next…
–Commercial Break–
MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET FIGHT
10. Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt
As you’d expect, a lot of brawling to start…. Ambrose dropkicks Bray outside and throws him through a lit up Christmas Tree… Dean then suplexes a tree on Bray and beats him with it. Ambrose opens a gift box and finds a TV monitor, so he puts that back, lol… Next Dean pulls out a TABLE WITH A BOW ON IT… Bray pushes the table back under the ring to draw boos lol… Ambrose with a suicide dive on Wyatt… Fans chant “Merry Christmas”… Dean bowls Wyatt through a 6 foot stack of boxes and sets the table up. Wyatt runs away from the table so Dean follows and beats him over the head with a wreath… Dean opens another present to find a STEEL CHAIR… with a bow on ot… lol. Bray blocks the chair shot and throws Ambrose off the entrance stage through a table…. And we’re off to commercial…
Back from break, Wyatt a chinlock soundly applied in the ring… Ambrose tries to come back with a missile dropkick but misses… Bray follows up with a senton splash for 2… Ambrose again tries a comeback, but Wyatt plows him over with a body attack… They go back outside and Ambrose is thrown through a Christmas tree… The fans chant “One More Tree” and Bray obliges as he sends Dean through the final Christmas tree.. Wyatt tosses 5 chairs into the ring and then beats Ambrose down with the Candy Cane Kendo Stick… Wyatt ties the Kendo Stick on the top buckle so that it sticks straight out into the ring. Wyatt tries to impale Dean into the stick, but Dean blocks… Ambrose tries the same but Bray lays him out with a nasty clothesline… Wyatt props a chair in the corner and tries to send Dean into it, but Ambrose reverses and Bray goes into the chair…
Ambrose fires up and takes over, charge in the corner and the bulldog out onto Wyatt. Now Ambrose pulls out his own Candy Cane Kendo Stick, Wyatt blocks it and tries a Urinage, but Dean counters and hits his rocking chair on the rope spot into a clothesline…. Ambrose now uses the kendo stick on Bray and lands the White Russian Legsweep… Diving Chair Follows…1…..2……….Wyatt kicks out….
And OUT COMES A LADDER… Dean props the ladder into the corner, but Bray pops up into his spider walk stance, then spins around and immediately drives Dean with a URINAGE INTO THE LADDER!!! 1…….2…Ambrose kicks out… Wyatt tries Sister Abigail, Dean breaks free and throws Bray into the ladder, and rolls Wyatt up for 2…..
Now Dean stands the ladder up and climbs up top, Ambrose comes off with the standing flying elbowdrop for a near fall… Dean stacks chairs on Wyatt and goes back up the ladder for another elbow, but Bray jumps up and throws a chair right into Dean’s face!!! Ambrose tumbles off the ladder, Bray grabs him and throws Dean face first right into the kendo stick protruding from the corner… Ouch, Damn, Dangerous spot the first time, Dangerous to do it again… Bray gets the win in 21:00….
Another solid match….
The show isn’t over yet… Dean rolls out and grabs a fire extinguisher to blind Wyatt and get him on the table outside… Dean then climbs the ropes and puts Wyatt through the table on the floor to end the show in a true holiday spirit….
Overall fun show… Three good matches overshadow all the mediocre to bad stuff…
A fine gift for me, what a fitting way to close the year, a Raw worth watching!!! Definitively check out the 3 big matches, if you haven’t already…
Enjoy your holiday season, Crazy Max is alive for 2015!!!
