* Well folks, it’s time for the fallout from last night’s Survivor Series, and I’m not sure how to approach this show. Ignoring the Sting debut, that was quite easily one of the worst night’s of poo poo dung I’ve seen on a “PPV” in quite some time. While the tag title match was ok, the extended time the Divas Elimination match got (ugh), the Divas Title 10 second match, all the fill in junk, the Bunny match, the DQ in the Bray/Ambrose match (and yes I know it was used to build to the next PPV), everything was just crap to some degree for one reason or another. I had three people throughout the duration of the show ask me if the WWE was TRYING to piss the audience off. It certainly appeared that way, nobody can suck that bad on accident, can they? Even the last match had a lot of odd crap in it, Ryback doing a job early (way to kill that heat ass hats), Big Show knocking out Cena (I get the reason, but Big Show?, and Cena goes out like that? just crap booking). Ziggler gets to save the day, great effort, but it’s upstaged. The HHH/Sting stare down went about 5 minutes too long (exaggeration people), and then Ziggler is rolled on Rollins for the win which was cool, had Rollins not laid there for FIVE MINUTES or longer after a Zig Zag… The Zig Zag better kill everyone from here on out…
Also, having Sting debut was their plan to save face and make people forget about an otherwise terrible PPV (I’ve reviewed Raw’s ten times better than that show). Well from the general consensus to people I spoke with prior to Sting coming out, and afterwards, Sting didn’t save the show and couldn’t save that mess of a PPV. It was definitely the high mark on the show for those interested in Sting, but otherwise, it didn’t outweigh the bad. At least in my opinion. It was like 2 hours and 50 minutes of complete garbage, and then 5 minutes of Sting. Again, the tag title match was fine, not great, but fine. And the main event was okay in spots, it had it’s moments, and a lot of great spots leading into the finish. But in general, the show was abysmal and I had to LITERALLY force myself to stay awake to make it to the big “payoff” at the end.
The good news is, we won’t see HHH or Stephanie tonight (hopefully). Let’s see what they have in store for us… I’m a little curious, but a lot worried. We shall see…
WWE Raw 11/24/14 from Bankers Life Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, Indiana
– Raw opens with a quick video of Sting.
– Wow… I spoke too soon… Very first thing we get is a HHH & Stephanie in-ring promo… Lovely… He’s fired, so ummm, how do they get this time? Stephanie starts the promo, even more lovely. Steph verbally attacks the fans, and attacks Sting. Steph then reminds us that only John Cena can reinstate the Authority. Steph says they have corporate responsibilities, even if they don’t have control of the wrestling.
HHH calls the fans bullies and says nobody else can handle the power the Authority had. HHH namedrops guys who could take over as authority, Cena, Ziggler, Sting. HHH says Sting came out at Series to stand across from HHH for 30 seconds to make his career relevant. HHH says Sting’s first day in WWE, was his last. Without HHH in power, he says WWE will last 2-3 weeks. Fans chant “boring”, I’ll go along with that. For some people who are fired, they’ve gotten 10 minutes of Raw so far.
HHH says without the Authority the WWE doesn’t exist, Cena, Ryback, Ziggler don’t exist. Raw won’t exist, so all the loser fans will have nothing to do on Mondays. HHH says we will beg for him to come back.
CUE DANIEL BRYAN!!!!!
YES! YES! YES! YES!
Not really marking out there, just having fun with the segment… Daniel Bryan is out, and he’s eating up the Authority’s demise.
Bryan just keeps chanting YES! in the face of the Authority all the way to the back. HHH doesn’t hit him for whatever reason. Bryan keeps “YES!ing” in their faces as they try and walk to the back. The fans chant along as Bryan mocks the two people who crapped on him for about a year.
–Commercial Break–
– Well I thought that was the end of Bryan for the night, but he’s still in the ring celebrating and ready to cut a promo. Daniel Bryan announces that for tonight, he has been put in charge of RAW!!! Bryan brings out Team Authority to the stage to address the crowd after their loss last night. Bryan says he won’t be stripping titles, he won’t be making unfair matches like Stephanie and HHH.
Bryan points out Seth Rollins being a master of handicap matches. Bryan makes a match of Seth Rollins and “two other people” vs. Cena and Ziggler. I assume the other two will be Noble and Mercury? Rollins wants to know who his partners are, Hornswoggle and Toritom JBL and Cole? Bryan asks the WWE Universe to decide. The teams the fans can vote for are Henry & Kane, Henry & Harper, or….. MERCURY AND NOBLE…. Because, you know, they’re not wrestlers or anything. Seth storms off with Mercury and Noble.
Bryan then moves on to Kane… He asks the fans if Kane should be director of operations, the fans chant “No”. Bryan fires Kane as Director of Operations, but he is now Director of Food and Beverage and his new name is not Corporate Kane, but Concessions Kane. Bryan has somebody bring Kane concessions and a hairnet. Kane walks off to sell popcorn… Ahhh, that WWE comedy.
Bryan gives Rusev two options for tonight. One, he will defend his US Title in a Battle Royal tonight. Second option, Rusev stands in front of a giant American Flag and recite the Pledge of Allegiance. “USA” chants. Rusev and Lana storm off without an answer.
And now onto IC Champion Luke Harper. Wait, isn’t Luke an option in the tag match with Rollins? Anyway… Harper defends his IC Title tonight against Dean Ambrose…
This leaves Henry (who is also in TWO of the options to team with Rollins). It seems Ryback wants a rematch from WrestleMania 29 against Henry, and he gets it tonight… Bryan says he can make that match cuz that’s what he do…. That match… is right now!
Ryback attacks Henry from behind in the aisle and posts Mark. Ryback beats the crap out of Mark, driving his head repeatedly into the barricade. The officials pull Ryback back as we take a commercial. The match is next…
–Commercial Break–
After about 35 minutes of no wrestling, we start the action.
1. Ryback vs. Mark Henry.
Ryback jumps on Henry, but Mark plows him over. Ryback fights back with a SPINEBUSTER… MEAT HOOK CLOTHESLINE…. IT”S OVER….54 SECONDS… Damn another squash on Henry. That was almost so short it didn’t do Ryback any justice either. Ryback matches need to be short, but against a guy like Henry there should be a LITTLE competition. But the announcers explain this off due to the attack before the match. With no Shell Shock used, I’m assuming there might be a return match.
DirecTV cuts in with commercials, prematurely for some reason… We cut back to….
– HHH and Steph run into Vince McMahon backstage. Steph apologizes for losing. Vince is disgusted with them losing after being positioned in a good spot with 3 to 1 odds. Vince says they let him down and they will fix this. Steph says she’s sorry, Vince says he’s NEVER been sorry, but he might be sorry he has to spend Thanksgiving with them. Vince, Steph, and HHH get in a limo and pull away… Soooo, if Vince is so all about HHH and Steph, then who cued Sting up last night, and who gave Daniel Bryan his position tonight????
–Commercial Break–
Well, we’re 45 minutes into the show and we’ve had almost a whole MINUTE of wrestling thus far.
2. IC Champion Luke Harper vs. Dean Ambrose.
This IS a title match. A little back and forth to start things off, Dean winds up knocking Harper to the floor and diving out onto him as we take a commercial. Wow, about 90 seconds of action before we’re back to commercial… Gooo Raw!
Back from break, Harper has Ambrose grounded. Fans chant “Lunatic”. Ambrose breaks free, but Harper remains in control. Luke tosses Dean outside and follows him to the floor. Ambrose comes back out of nowhere with an explosive clothesline on the floor. Back into the ring, Harper shoves off a bulldog, but Dean rolls him up for 2… Dean with another near fall and Harper rolls to the apron. Ambrose ties Luke up in the ropes and runs into him with a dropkick, and then comes off the middle rope with a legdrop across the back of Harper’s head for 2…
Ambrose runs right into a spinning sidewalk slam from Harper for 2… Harper tries a powerbomb, but Dean slides out and lands a backslide for 2… Harper tries a Superplex, Dean blocks, Ambrose knocks Luke off the ropes. Flying elbow body press thingy gets a near fall. Harper comes back with a SUPERKICK for 2… Ambrose comes back again, Harper tries to take his title and run… No luck… Ambrose drags him back in for Dirty Deeds, but Harper shoves Ambrose into the referee for an intentional DQ…. The referee sees Harper do it however, and Harper is the one that’s DQ’d in 14:35.
Harper lays out Ambrose with a BIG BOOT after the match, but Ambrose comes back and lays Harper out with DIRTY DEEDS on a chair…. Amrbose goes outside and grabs a ladder and a table… but BRAY WYATT ATTACKS!!!
Wyatt with SISTER ABIGAIL on the floor… Wyatt throws Dean over the announce table and tosses chairs on top of him. Bray stands on the announce table and poses as his music begins to play…
Analyzing this segment… Dean and Harper are by far two of my favorites right now, but they really just didn’t click. Not a very good match, for TV it was “eh”, but I would have thought these guys could have offered a little more. Maybe just an off night. Hopefully Harper can handle this singles run. The Wyatt interference was expected from the beginning of the match, however, once the DQ came and Dean laid out Harper, you sort of forgot about Bray, so the run in was perfectly timed. Bray’s “revenge” was pretty timid though… You’d expect more from Bray, especially after what Dean did to him last night. For those who don’t know, these two guys have a TLC match at the PPV next month.
–Commercial Break–
– It’s the “NEW DAY” Big E promo from last week.
– The… ummm… “Stars” of Jingle All The Way 2…. Santino Marella and Larry the Cable Guy. Larry says he’s gonna go all “Uncle Elmer” on someone here tonight. Getter done… The crowd boos the crap out of Larry. Larry drops the name of King Kong Bundy next. Cable Guy comedy follows, he says he beat (Fred) Savage after giving him the old “Jerry Lawler”.
They’re interrupted by Goldust and Stardust… They have an….. interesting run in with old Larry. The Dust brothers are on there way to the ring…. Santino and Larry disappear, that was worthwhile… Tag Title match next on Raw.
–Commercial Break–
3. WWE Tag Team Champions The Miz & Damien Sandow vs. Goldust & Stardust.
Title match here. Miz has both belts… Sandow has two toy belts… The champs gets a split screen interview before the match. Fun. Miz and Starry start. Early teases to tag Sandow don’t happen. The Dusts are quickly in control of Miz. Miz takes an atomic drop, do Sandow comes in, jumps in the air, and pretend to hurt his balls.. lol. Some Boo and Yay spots from the champs. Miz with a brief comeback, but gets backdropped to the floor and we take a timeout.
Back from break, Miz is taking a beating… Still.. I get the whole don’t tag Sandow in thing, but only for the finishes? Miz does get the hot tag to Sandow. Damnien lands one of Miz’s neckbreaker and does a nip up, crowd pops. Miz is down outside the ring holding his face with the ref checking on him, while the Dust brothers take over on Sandow. Sandow fights alone while Miz sells his money maker on the floor. Goldust gets a near fall on Sandow. Damien finally breaks free and goes for a tag to Miz, but MIZ ISN’T THERE. Stardust drops Sandow for a near fall.
Sandow makes another comeback and uses the FIGURE FOUR on Stardust… Goldust breaks it up before Star taps. Damien tosses Goldust to the floor, Sandow tries a Skull Crushing Finale on Stardust, but Cody blocks it and lands a Disaster Kick off the top rope, but Miz tags himself in right before it. Miz sneaks in, lands the SCFinale on Stardust and gets the win in 10:00…
They celebrate with the belts, more boos for the Miz and cheers for Sandow. Damien seems to know what’s going on.
–Commercial Break–
– Don’t take this as a complaint… But they’ve failed to follow up on Concessions Kane… Dropping the ball on some fun segments. Could be the best thing Kane’s done all year.
– Wait, nevermind, here he is.. Concessions Kane with Nachos and Popcorn at the concession stand. The manager hears Kane likes to burn things, so he won’t work the deep fryer, instead he is in charge of Nachos. The manager lady almost forgets her lines before she hands Kane an apron.
– Lana and US Champion Rusev in the ring. Lana says America is unfair, what kind of country forces it’s will on people? Rusev doesn’t care who is in charge of Raw, he won’t be brainwashed by Americans. Rusev and Lana try to walk off, but Daniel Bryan shows up on the Titan Tron and reminds Rusev of his options. Daniel Bryan enlists SGT. SLAUGHTER to aid Rusev in saying the Pledge….
SGT. SLAUGHTER…. The American Flag drops behind Rusev. “USA” Chants. Slaughter gives an ORDER for Rusev to state the Pledge with him. The fans follow, but Rusev refuses. Lana reluctantly says the beginning of the pledge. Rusev stops her and throws down Lana’s mic. Rusev escorts Lana out of the ring and removes his medal. Slaughter drops his mic and removes his hat…
JACK SWAGGER runs out to attack Rusev, but Rusev catches him sliding in. Swagger takes Rusev over with a belly to belly… And the ANKE LOCK… Rusev retreats outside… Swagger runs Rusev off…. WHERE’S THE DAMN BATTLE ROYAL??????????? Rusev didn’t do ANYTHING he was supposed to…
This will leave the fans happy… Or quiet… Yeah… They’re quiet….
What a payoff… Cummon Daniel Bryan…
–Commercial Break–
– Back from break, Kane is serving Nachos and Popcorn. Larry the Cable Guy and Santino order hotdogs. Kane squirts Santino with mustard, then hands a hotdog to Larry because he’s a fan…
4. Fandango (w/Rosa Mendes) vs. Justin Gabriel.
Rematch from last night, since nobody saw it, or made one noise during the entire match. This new and improved Fandango thing… In a word… Atrocious. And once again, the crowd gives a crap less. Fans hum Fandango’s old theme. Fandango looks ridiculous in this tango gear. He’s aggressive now you see, and apparently that makes Rosa horny. “CM Punk” chant defines the interest of this match. Flying legdrop ends this in 1:00. COMPLETE SQUASH. Not one move from Gabriel. And again, crowd doesn’t make a noise….
– They FINALLY address Big Show turning on Team Cena last night. Big Show is backstage in a suit, he doesn’t appear to be in a good mood. Show appears to be coming to the ring next….
–Commercial Break–
– WWE Main Event will feature Concessions Kane vs. Dean Ambrose
– Big Show on his way to the ring. Show comes out with a corny fake smile on his face. Show wants to make sure the fans are cool with him. He wants to explain that he’s not a “bad guy”, he’s just a human being that made a mistake. He’s only human and we’ve all made mistakes. Show despised the Authority. Show talks about him being a Giant in size, but he has feelings and fears like everyone else. Show says he turns last night for his family to retain his job. He says he panicked last night and made a bad decision. Show thought his team would lose, so he did what he though he had to do, and says the fans would do the same. Show asks the fans for forgiveness, but they boo him. Show doesn’t like the crowd reaction, so they just keep booing him.
Show says if he could go back and knew he would win, then he wouldn’t have turned. Show says he’s been putting his body on the line for the fans for 20 years, he’s asking them to forgive him and forget it ever happened… lol… “You Sold Out” chants. Show is getting angry…
“HOW NICE, for you to sit there and judge me on the decision I’ve made. How high and mighty all of you are to pass judgment on me, when you have nothing on the line. This is MY life. Mine, not yours.”. Not a bad little promo, just too bad Show has fallen so far down the ladder. Show says he’s not a traitor and he deservers respect dammit… Show calls the wrestlers in the back cowards for calling him a traitor. He says they’re whispering behind his back, but won’t say it to his face…
ERICK ROWAN is out… But wouldn’t John Cena have made more sense??? I mean, Show DID turn on him…
Show laughs off Erick Rowan, “the upside down Sheamus”, he says he would expect someone like Cena. Show is surprised Rowan has the courage is out here without his stuffed kitty cat. Rowan enters the ring. Show says this ring is made for MEN, fans chant for Rowan. Show tells Rowan he has no business out here before he gets hurt.
Rowan replies, says he doesn’t like bullies… Rowan attacks Show, lands a giant spin kick to Show, and Big Show takes off.
This is fine and all, and this is coming from a guy who isn’t a fan of Cena, but shouldn’t he have been out here for revenge???
– Seth Rollins is in the back with Mercury and Noble. Seth tells them they don’t “measure up” to his other potential partners. Dolph Ziggler comes into the locker room, and for some reason nobody jumps him. Dolph informs J&J security that he supports them, and he has asked his 1.4 million Twitter followers to vote for them. Mercury and Noble are excited… Rollins, not so much.
–Commercial Break–
– Time to address the Bella shenanigans from last night over AJ. Even with Daniel Bryan on the show, Brie is in the ring smiling with sister champion Nikki by her side. Brie Mode is playing, ugh…
5. Brie Bella (w/Nikki) vs. AJ Lee.
AJ cuts a promo on the way to the ring, ripping both Bellas. Brie jumps AJ, but Lee comes back and dropkicks Brie outside. AJ follows, lays out Nikki, but Brie hits a clothesline on Lee. Back inside, single arm DDT by Brie. Long hammerlock spot follows. AJ breaks out and takes it to Brie… Shining Wizard only gets 2… Really? Nikki misses her cue, and Brie and AJ have to redo a spot awkwardly a couple of times. Nikki lands a cheap shot on AJ, and Brie rolls her up for the crappy win in 3:50.
– AJ cuts a good, but short, promo on the Bellas. She says it takes two Bellas to even be a champion, and they’re still not half the woman AJ is. AJ says they can’t kiss people to get talent. Talent isn’t Sexually Transmitted….
–Commercial Break–
6. Adam Rose & The Bunny vs. Tyson Kidd & Natalya.
Larry the Cable Guy & Santino on commentary. Can they fit anyone junk into this match? lol. Bunny starts off and has control of Tyson. Kidd comes back with a jumping spin kick and almost takes his head off. Natalya tags in, but she wants to help the Bunny up. Tyson gets mad and tags himself back in. Bunny lands a Flapjack on Kidd and tags to Rose. Rose with a spinebuster gets 2. There are more bad jokes in this commentary than ever before…. Bunny tries to trip Kidd, but accidentally trips Rose. Kidd rolls Adam up for the win in 3:00.
Bunny apologizes to Rose afterwards. So as this thing gets worse, Rose gets less violent? Um, okay.
– Renee Young is in the back with Ryback. Ryback is hungry, he’s off to find a concession stand…. Hmmm….
–Commercial Break–
– “NEW DAY” Promo with all three men, Xavier, Kofi, and Big E… TOGETHER… They can create a NEW DAY… A New Day is dawning… NEXT MONDAY!
– Ryback is at Kane’s Concession Stand. The one that’s VISBLY blocked off from the rest of the public. Ryback orders lots of protein food. Kane doesn’t have any, but he has hotdogs…. Ryback rams the table into Kane and squirts him with ketchup because he;s the big red machine. Kane runs off like a bitch. Ryback picks up a bag of peanuts. “Hey Kane, you forgot your NUTS, stoooopid.”.
– Backstage it’s Renee Young with John Cena and Dolph Ziggler. Cens puts over Ziggler winning last night. Dolph puts over Sting. Cena says he and Ziggler will steal the show tonight… Somebody please do that.
–Commercial Break–
– Smackdown has MizTV with The Big Show.
– Before the main event, Daniel Bryan is back out to determine who will team with Seth Rollins. Now we find out who the fans voted for… What an amazing shock… With 93% of the vote, Mercury and Noble are the chosen ones.
7. John Cena & Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins, Jamie Noble, and Joey Mercury.
Noble and Mercury come down in suits. JBL puts over Noble and Mercury’s credentials, but Cole insists time has passed these men by. Apparently only Cena doesn’t age from that “era”. Comedy spots with the stooges running into each other early. The heels bail to regroup as we take a commercial…
Back from break, the heels have have control of Cena, but Noble misses a charge in the corner. Ziggler gets a hot tag, but theel take over on Dolph moments later. A little heat on Ziggler before he hot tags back to Cena. Cena lays out Mercury, Rollins gets caught between Dolph and Cena and bails. Dolph and Cena do an old timey double Irish whip on the stooges, they collide… Simultaneous AA and Zig Zags ends this match in exactly 10:00. A near squash main event…
Crowd doesn’t give a shit about the finish…. Daniel Bryan is back out and throws Rollins back inside. Ziggler with a Superkick on Seth, and an AA ends it. Daniel Bryan starts to celebrate with Cena and Ziggles when…..
The lights flicker…. that familiar noise sounds… aaaaand….
MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE….
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
The Anonymous Raw GM is BACK! Michael Cole reads the laptop. Next week is Cyber Monday (duh). So I guess next week’s GM is the laptop, and hopefully it begins and ends there….
The anonymous GM noise sounds off 50 times as the likes keep flickering to end the show. Both Cena and Cole are holding back smiles. Well then.
Goodnight all…
