The Raw Report for 3/3/14 (Bryan vs. Batista, Shield vs. Wyatt Family)

Raw Pre-Show Notes

Just some quick notes from the Raw Pre-Show on the Network before we get going.

– This week’s panel consists of Josh Matthews acting as the host, along with Booker T, Alex Riley, and “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.

– As the panel runs down some of the things that’ll be going on during Raw, there’s a match being taped for Superstars in the background involving Zack Ryder vs. Titus O’Neil. Smart thinking Titus, you got your wish, the PTP are split, and now you’re working Superstars…

– They hype Bryan vs. Batista for tonight. We’re taken back last week to Daniel Bryan challenging HHH to a match at Mania. Then a interview from Chicago with Bryan where he said he’s ready to face Batista, specifically after the comments Batista made on Smackdown about “195 pound wanna be’s”.

– Which WWE Superstars recent Attitude change has surprised you the most? Batista, Orton, or Christian? Vote Now!

– Wyatt Family/Shield Feud Video Airs.

– Los Matadores on their way down for more “Superstars” Action against Ryback and Curtis Axel.

– Footage from last week involving the Wyatts attack on John Cena and discussion of Cena’s knee “injury”. GIGANTIC “CM PUNK” CHANTS with the match going on in the ring. Josh Matthews then ACKWNOLEDGES the chants!!! hmmm

– NXT Promo

– Tonight the New Age Outlaws will defend their Tag Team Titles against the Usos tonight on Raw! Renee Young interviews the Outlaws, and wouldn’t you know it, they believe they’ll win the match!

– Los Matadores defeat Ryback & Axel. Jerry Lawler interviews Los Matadores, they crack a joke about the King & Torito being “horny”. LOUD CM PUNK CHANTS again!

– The announcers hype the Brock/Taker situation. Renne Young looks for an interview with Brock but finds Heyman. Paul says when Brock’s ready to talk, he’ll be happy to speak!

– Insanely loud Punk chants… Final hype….. and it’s time!!!

 *************************************************************

WWE Monday Night RAW Report for 3/3/14 from the Allstate Arena in Chicago, IL

– We’re at the former “Rosemont Horizon” this week for a very anticipated episode of WWE Raw.

– “Cult of Personality” Plays and the crowd goes INSANE. “We Want Punk” chants as the music continues to play with no Punk. But here comes Paul Heyman! In quite possibly the loudest arena chant ever “CM Punk” chants ring out, and Heyman wants it LOUDER! Heyman does a sit down in the middle of the ring, a la Punk. Paul wants to tell the story of CM Punk. Heyman talks about how Punk wasn’t wanted in WWE from day 1, and they don’t want him there now. “CM PUNK” chants continue. Paul claims CM Punk isn’t here this evening, and the chants continue…

Paul points the finger, he says there is someone to blame for Punk leaving, and he blames the WWE Universe. Paul blames the fans for taking Punk away from him. He blames the Undertaker for beating Punk last year, and Heyman wants revenge on the Taker in the shape of Brock Lesnar taking his streak away this year. Heyman introduces Brock.

Lesnar enters the ring. NOW the fans go back to CM Punk chants as we’ve ATTEMPTED to move on the a completely different storyline. The fans try an “Undertaker” chant but it’s MURDERED by a “CM Punk” chant. LOUD AND LONG. They better hope he’s here instead of taunting the crowd like this. Lesnar cuts a promo on the Undertaker. Nice to see Brock taking a match seriously for once, rather than “say something stupid, Paul”. Brock cuts a fine little promo, but no Undertaker appearance, which was disappointing.

Oh wait!!! We’re not done yet…. Its MARK HENRY, and he wants some revenge from January…  Brock tries to jump Henry but gets taken down. Lesnar sends Mark into the steps and bounces the steps off his skull. Lesnar with an F-5 on Henry THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!

And IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE BUMP, we get a “CM Punk” Chant.

Amazing genius in Heyman, he had the fans eating out of his fans, both the cheers and the jeers… He had the crowd following his promo instead of sabotaging it… Truly an amazing credit to Paul’s abilities. He had the fans for a good 10 minutes, before Lesnar came out and it became clear they were changing gears.

-Commercial Break-

 1. WWE Tag Team Champions The New Age Outlaws vs. The Usos. Road Dogg says Chicago isn’t worth hearing his catchphrases… They’re just TRYING to rile this crowd up. The Outlaws get the heat immediately, and “Punk” chants throughout. They take an early break with the Outlaws still in complete control.

Back from break, and the commercials were actually longer than the first half of the match. Ridiculous. Jey tries a roll up on Road Dogg but misses a blind tag to Gunn. Jey’s been in the match since the beginning. Crowd shows some support for the Usos as Jimmy gets the hot tag. Sit-out full nelson bomb on the Road Dogg. Jimmy drives his ass into Road Dogg’s head in the corner, and a twisting somersault flip off the top on Gunn for 2!!! Jimmy superkicks Road Dogg off the apron, but Gunn catches Jimmy with a tilt-a-whirl slam for 2…

Jimmy dodges a Fame-Asser and takes a flying dive over the top rope onto Road Dogg on the floor, while simultaneously tagging in Jey on the way over the ropes. Jey steps in, SUPERKICK on Gunn, and the FLYING SPLASH FROM THE TOP!!!! 1………2………..3!!!! THE USOS ARE THE NEW WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!!!

Solid 10:00 match and exactly what they needed to feed the crowd to keep the Punk chants down, but let’s see how long they can keep that going…

– There’s some short backstage segment with the Divas. Aksana says something, and everyone seems confused, including me…

-Commercial Break-

2. IC Champion Big E vs. Cesaro (w/Zeb Colter & Jack Swagger).  Cesaro with tremendous strength to get things going. CESARO SWING on Big E a minute into the match! Jack Swagger runs in for no reason and hits a Swagger Bomb on Big E to draw a DQ only 2:00 into the match.  Well that was crap…

After the match Big E nails Cesaro with the Big Ending.

We had Heyman & Brock, then the Usos, and now Cesaro… Super intelligent booking by the WWE putting all the internet darlings out there during the absence of Punk… Well, the booking of the Cesaro match wasn’t very good, but you get what I’m saying…

And to keep the crowd pleased with the fan favorite workers, the Shield make their way to the ring for the 6-Man next…

-Commercial Break-

3. The Shield (Reigns, Rollins, and Ambrose) vs. The Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt, Rowan, and Harper). The Shield kicks things off with some crazy spots and dives, bumping the Wyatts all around the ring and outside… Rollins goes to the top rope, Harper tries a SUPER GERMAN SUPLEX on Rollins, but ROLLINS LANDS ON HIS FEET!!!! HOLY SHIT!!! Seth knocks Harper and Rowan both to the floor, hits a flying somersault dive onto Harper, then slides back in the ring and hits a twisting plancha on Rowan on the other side of the ring… CRAZY!!!! Bray Wyatt tries to interfere but he’s cut off by Ambrose. Dean accidentally gets knocked into the ropes and it causes Rollins to take a bump off the top to the outside… Rollins is down as we go to commercial…

Back from break, the Wyatts work over Rollins, Seth just about ready to make a hot tag to Ambrose, when Dean conveniently just jumps off the apron and goes after Bray on the floor… Hmmm…. Rollins does eventually manage the hot tag to Ambrose, and Dean comes in and goes to work on the leg of Rowan. WOOOO chants as Dean locks in the Figure Four on Rowan. Harper breaks it up with a DOUBLE STOMP!  Reigns sends Harper from the ring and over the barricade!

Back in the ring Bray Wyatt is now working over Ambrose. These six guys win the fans over with a “This is Awesome” chant. It really is a good match. The Wyatts now work over Ambrose, Rowan applies a DOUBLE knuckle gring to the temples of Dean, eat your heart out Sgt. Slaughter!. Dean breaks the hold by grabbing Rowan’s bear, but Erik right back with a side slam for two.  Giant “ROMAN REIGNS” chants… Ambrose channels Harper, and gives him a taste of his own medicine with a nasty clothesline. Dean tries to tag Reigns but Bray knocks him off the apron.

Dean then tries to tag Rollins, but Seth is still upset from earlier and drops off the apron… Rollins leaves Ambrose to fend for himself, then tells Reigns to figure it out with Ambrose. Seth says he’s sick of being the “glue”. Rollins leaves Reigns & Ambrose to work through the issues.

Reigns comes in and clears house, , even landing an insanely high super jump dropkick on the apron to Harper, then he SPEARS ROWAN OVER THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!!!!

Harper with a SUICIDE DIVE on Reigns!!!  Ambrose jumps on Harper on the floor!!!

But Bray posts Ambrose and puts him back in the ring for Sister Abigail, as Rollins watches on with confusion from the middle of the aisle way. Bray hits the move and gets the win in 14:00.

– Renee Young with Batista. Batista rips on the “Yes Movement” and who passes for Superstars these days. Batista calls Daniel Bryan an average guy and him being a Superstar is a fantasy.

-Commercial Break-

– A rematch is announced between the Usos and the Outlaws for tomorrow night’s LIVE special edition of The Main Event on the WWE Network.

4. Santino & Emma vs. Fandango & Summer Rae. A little mixed tag action. I don’t know how long I can take this Emma theme music. As I expected loud CM PUNK chants as the match gets going. Silly comedy stuff with Santino & Emma who keep high fiving, which constitutes tags, and leads to the heels having to tag in and out. It’s about as unfunny as it sounds. Fandango finally jumps Santino. Fandango misses a top rope move and Santino hits some type of a Splits into a Stunner. The ladies tag in, Emma goes to work on Summer and locks in the Tarantula! Some Emma dancing and more of her token offense. Santino runs Fandango off with the Cobra… Seriously? Emmalock, Summer Rae taps, and the fan favorites win this mess in about 3:00…

– Clip from Smackdown, Christian attacks Sheamus, so we get yet ANOTHER match between the two, next… Sigh…

-Commercial Break-

5. Sheamus vs. Christian. LOL, they cut Christian’s music before he even gets to the ring… For some reason the matches between these two aren’t clicking for me. Once is fine, but repeated matches? I’ll pass. This would be a great time for some fans to hijack the show and entertain me with some chants… Christian slaps the crap out of Sheamus, and Sheamus chases him outside and tosses him into the barricade. Lawler refers to Sheamus as an Italian… Cole wants to know what’s wrong with the King… Sheamus in control and I could use some chants right now… Chants for anything…

JBL rips Christian’s physical appearance apart, no doubt repeating what Vince tells him in his headset…. Way the “Be a Star”, Vince… Irish Curse backbreaker for 2, and Christian backdrops Sheamus to the floor and hits a solid baseball slide kick, but misses a plancha on the floor as Sheamus just steps aside and laughs. “CM Punk” chants as Christian hides behind the Spanish announce team and we take a commercial…

Back from break, Sheamus yanks Christian off the middle rope. Sheamus goes up top but Christian knocks him off to the floor… Christian takes over and works on Sheamus, until the Celtic Warrior catches Christian off the middle rope and drops him. Both men trade blows and the crowd COULD CARE LESS… Lots of chanting going on, though I can’t make out what it is… Sheamus catches Christian between the ropes for the forearm clubs, but Christian escapes and comes off the top and AGAIN CAUGHT. Sheamus drops Christian across the top rope and lands the forearm clubs and a knee for 2….

Crowd with a “THIS IS AWFUL” chant… And I agree……. Christian with a Frog Splash for 2… “CM Punk” chants start… NOW they want to revolt, where were you the last 15 minutes? Sheamus comes back with White Noise for 2…

DUELING CHANTS of “END THIS NOW” and “BORING”, followed by more “END THIS NOW” chants. Sheamus hits a Brogue Kick from the apron and gets the pin after 14:00 of BLAH…. That was 20 minutes of my life gone forever…

– Scooby Doo WWE commercial

-Commercial Break-

– The match was so great that they treat the fans to MORE Sheamus with an interview. But Christian attacks and beats Sheamus down in the interview area. How is this a feud if Christian just keeps losing? Oh, and the matches suck…

6. The Bella Twins vs. Aksana & Alicia Fox. Yup, the shows dragging now… This is everything opposite of the NXT Divas match from last week, meaning it’s sloppy and where they lack in ring talent they make up for by yelling a lot…  Brie takes the heat, hot tag to Nikki. Great job deflating a hot audience WWE… The fans don’t even care… Brie runs Aksana off with a middle rope dropkick, while Nikkia finishes Fox off with a Torture Rack into a kneeling backbreaker… The Bellas win after a 2 or 3 minutes….

– Daniel Bryan on his way to the ring… NEXT!

-Commercial Break-

Crazy YES chants go out for Bryan who proclaims they’re going to hijack Raw… Bryan isn’t leaving the ring until he hears from HHH….

And here comes the Authority…. LOUD Punk chants for HHH’s entrance… Trips smugly smirks at the fans…

Steph tries to speak and we immediately get Promo Sabotage from the fans who boo the living crap out of her…

Bryan says he’s sick of being screwed out of the WWE Title, but here he stands with the fans behind him! Bryan wants Trips at Mania…

HHH says it’s not going to happen and tells Bryan to accept his failure… Major promo sabotage on HHH by the fans… HHH runs down the entire era of WWE superstars… HHH says the entire Era isn’t good enough… He basically buries the entire era of wrestlers…  He says nobody is good enough.

HHH says it’s going to take more than a B+ Player to get him to wrestle at Mania… The fans support Bryan, but Bryan says HHH doesn’t listen to them because HHH doesn’t want to see people like Bryan succeed. Bryan says if he beats the crap out of HHH at Mania, the Authority would finally listen.

Stephanie TRIES to talk, but the crowd drowns her out… Stephanie says that the Authority MADE Bryan… Bryan suggests Stephanie wear HHH’s trunks, and HHH put on her skirt, and Bryan can wrestle Stephanie instead…

HHH reiterates it’s NOT GOING TO HAPPEN… Trips says he can’t be baited…  WrestleMania is the showcase of the immortals, and Daniel Bryan doesn’t measure up. HHH tells Bryan to get out of his ring… Bryan corrects him, it’s the fans’ ring… HHH clarifies that everyone from the fans to Bryan belong to the Authority….

HHH tells Bryan to leave the ring, Bryan tells HHH to make him. Here comes Kane… UGH…. Bryan takes out Kane…. Stephanie yells for security who FINALLY show up… Bryan is ejected from ringside but not the building, he still has his match with Batista, tonight….

-Commercial Break-

 

7. Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/Aaron Paul). So this is how Paul is working as a guest host? Okay, I’ll take it… Gets him on and off my screen fast-like… Dolph & Paul drive into the arena in a “Need for Speed” type car. Aaron actually joins commentary for the match, and does okay with himself. Del Rio attacks Dolph to start, Ziggler makes the comeback… Del Rio takes over after the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker…  ADR nails the superkick that he gave Dolph a concussion with last year…  Aaron Paul climbs onto the announce table, distracts Del Rio… ADR goes for the arm breaker, but Dolph counters with the Zig Zag and actually gets a win on Raw in 2:30.

-Commercial Break-

It’s time to find out the latest inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame, Class of 2014…

AND IT’S….

PAUL BEARER!!! Ohhh Yessss!!!!

8. IC Champion Big E vs. Jack Swagger (w/Colter & Cesaro). IMMEDIATELY as the bell sounds, Cesaro nails Big E with the Neutralizer to cause the DQ…. Swagger is pissed, but Cesaro explains that they’re even now. Swagger doesn’t think so… They start to go at it, Cesaro hooks Swagger for a Cesaro Swing, when Colter gets on the mic and talks him out of it. Colter talks the two men into “hugging it out”…. We the People… For at least another week…

This really seemed odd, unannounced, and Big E working twice… It’s almost like this was forced into the show…

-Commercial Break-

– John Cena coming out hobbling to the ring, selling the Wyatt attack from last week… We get out first “CM Punk” chants in a while, Cena thanks them for the welcome… Doctors Orders, Cena won’t have a match tonight… That and it being 20 minutes until the end of the show… The fans chant YES when they learn Cena can’t wrestle… CM Punk chants continue… Cena puts over Punk without saying his name to try and get the fans on his side…

Cena acknowledges the hijacking and admits he knows the Universe wants chants… Cena says respect is EARNED and all changes will have to go through him…

Lights go out… Bray Wyatt promo on the big screen… CM Punk chants over Bray’s promo… Wyatt wants to end Cena….

– Backstage, Batista gets read for the main event… Orton stops him and wishes him luck… Hey, HOW SMART was WWE to keep Orton out of the ring tonight?

-Commercial Break-

– WTF is this??? It’s 10:56 and we’ve got a Lana & Alexander Rusev promo???? On the stage, Rusev steps up onto a platform and cuts a promo in his native Bulgarian language. The fans chant “What?”… Literally… What?

– Now a clip of Hulk Hogan on the Today Show hyping the WWE Network… Seriously? 11pm and we’re getting this??? Something’s up… I’d have to think….  Hulk Hogan promises a Mania 30 announcement next week on Raw…

– And NOW we get WWE Champion Randy Orton coming to ringside…. It’s 11 and we haven’t even got a match yet… Surely they have something good planned for this….

9. Batista vs. Daniel Bryan. The bell sounds at 11:02… Boo-Tista chants… It’s back and forth until Batista mauls Bryan with a clothesline. “You can’t wrestle” chants follow… Batista tosses Bryan to the floor… A commercial at 11:06??? What the poop is going on??? Okay, they take their final break… 6 minutes AFTER 11pm…

Back from break, Batista works the popular chinlock. They must have seen the red light on the camera, because Bryan breaks free immediately and makes his big comeback with dropkicks in the corner… Batista dodges a third one and powders to the floor… Suicide dive by Bryan… Missile dropkick by Bryan and YES! kicks… 1..2… Batista out…

Here comes the Authority…. Steph, HHH, Kane… CM PUNK CHANTS… Things start to become more clear now….

Batista throws Bryan over the announce  table onto Randy Orton… Fans chant “overrated”, Batista mocks Bryan with the Yes chant, but Bryan nails a big kick… Orton jumps in and causes a DQ at 10:00 with an attack on Bryan. Orton tries an RKO on Batista, but Bryan nails Orton! Batista with a spear on Bryan!!!

Kane tries to attack Bryan but HHH holds him back… HHH talks trash on Bryan but takes a kick…. BATISTA BOMB ON BRYAN…..

Now HHH wants him some of Daniel…. How that for a big F-U to everyone in the crowd, everyone at home… HHH gets himself over with a pedigree, then stands over Bryan’s body as “Bow Down to the King” plays. “CM Punk” chants continue, as HHH gets to stand over everyone looking like king shit… This truly disgusts me…  I don’t get this “piss the fans off” logic they have… I guess they do whatever they want when WrestleMania is $10 a pop…

*********************************************

Backstage pass picks up where Raw left off. Big Show and Hop-along Cena come to make the save for Bryan…

– Renee Young interviews Stephanie who says Bryan will never main event Mania. She tries to interview HHH, who declines…

– Byron Saxton  interviews Curtis Axel & Titus O’Neil on the Authority/Bryan situation… Titus is just ridiculous…

The fans are STILL in the arena… I think they really believe CM Punk is still coming… They cheer for Bryan as he leaves the ring…

It seriously looks like the fans haven’t even started leaving yet at 11:22… Well Heyman said at the top of the program that Punk wasn’t here… So there you go… Major let down…

– Byron Saxton interviews the Usos on their WWE Tag Team Title win.

– Renee Young interviews Aaron Paul. Seems like he doesn’t even know Dolph’s name…

WWE Main Event will be live tomorrow night on the Network with Daniel Bryan vs. Kane, and the Usos defending the tag titles against the Outlaws.

The Big Show returns on Smackdown…. Returns from where???