The “OH MY GOD!” Review: MLW “Rise Of The Renegades” 7/26/03

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Rise of the Renegades 2003-07-26 from Tabu Nightclub in Orlando, Fla

Champions
World: Steve Corino
GTC: Simon Diamond & CW Anderson

Los Maximos are out first and on last weeks TV they sent out an open challenge let’s see who accepted. Out come Jimmy Yang and Tony Mamaluke. This seems like a waste of an open challenge.

Los Maximos vs. Jimmy Yang & Tony Mamaluke
Yang starts off and he hits a drop kick on Joel and the go to the floor. Joel tries to come back into the ring by coming off the top but he gets dropped to the floor. Yang with a corckscrew dive to the floor. Mamaluke tagged in and he gets 2 off a back body drop. Joel tries to come off the second rope but Mamaluke reverses to a fujiwara arm bar. Joel gets to the ropes and hits a belly to belly and tags. Jose comes in with an enziguri and clotheslines Mamaluke to the floor. Yang comes in and clotheslines Jose to the floor and follows with a dive. Joel tries a baseball slide but shockingly fucks it up. Asia moonsault onto all three guys now by Joel. Back in the ring they stack their opponents on top of each other and lock in a tandem boston crab and camel clutch. In the ring Mamaluke with a drop toe hold and then he tags Yang. Yang and Jose go for suplexes but keep blocking. Yang eventually floats over and Jose just runs sternum first into the turnbuckle. Yang kicked at him but it was not even close and happened about 2 seconds after Joel started running, Maximos are so terrible. Jose hits the buckle and stumbles out and Yang kicks him in the back of the head. A suplex by Yang gets 2 and then he tags out. Hammerlock belly to back by Mamaluke for 2. Full nelson by Mamaluke and they go into a back and forth spot that ends in a single arm DDT and submission attempt by Mamaluke. Joel breaks it up but Jose’s arm is in bad shape. Yang tags and kicks Jose right in the face. Yang with a headscissor positioned in the way Tajiri would do the tarantula. They go to the top rope and Jose fights off and goes for a superrana but Yang blocks it and goes for a super bomb but that gets reversed into the super rana. Both men tag Mamaluke goes for a bulldog but gets hung up on the top rope. Joel hangs onto him and sets him up for a neckbreaker will Jose hits a springboard moonsault. This looked cool but took a real long time to set up. Yang makes the save and then gets dumped. They go for a doomsday crossbody but Mamaluke reverses it into a powerslam for 2. Mamaluke with a brainbuster on Joel as Yang and Jose fight in the crowd. Mamaluke goes up top but the Maximos cut him off and hit the Spanish fly for the win in 9.12. Joey says they looked fantastic during the win but he’s lying. They shake hands with Yang but Mamaluke refuses.

Richard J. Criado vs. “Canadian Dynamite” Josh Daniels
Joey claims that Criado has an upset win over Nosawa in MLW. This never happened. After some headlock work by Criado, Daniels hits 3 arm drags and a snap suplex for 2. Daniels ducks a clothesline and dumps Criado to the floor and then dives through the ropes onto him. Inverted atomic drop by Daniels back in the ring. He hits the ropes and Criado catches him and hits a tilt a whirl back breaker to gain control of the match. Daniels fights out of a dragon sleeper and gets a 2 count off a northern lights with a bridge. Daniels hits the ropes but eats a back elbow. Criado with a nice brainbuster. He taunts and almost pays for it as Daniels wraps him up for a 2. Criado up quick with a clothesline. Joey says the Nosawa match was last week so I’m thinking it may have been filmed earlier this night and will be exclusive to TV. Criado really not doing much at all but taking up tons of time. Daniels makes a come back and hits a release german for 2. Daniels charges but gets caught in a sick looking michinoku driver for almost 3. Criado sends Daniels into the corner and charges. Criado misses and ends up seated on the second turnbuckle. Daniels locks in a full nelson and pulls Criado of the buckle into a full nelson suplex for the win in 7.23. Slow match, Criado doesn’t do much. The finishing move would have been cool if Criado didn’t land mostly on Daniels face instead of the mat.

Da Hit Squad vs. The Samoan Island Tribe
Hit Squad come out to no reaction at all. Joey really hyped them last week on TV but no one seems to know them. Ekmo joins the Tribe today to team with Samu. Ekmo is fresh off his stay in the WWF as Jamal, part of 3 Minute Warning. It starts out as a fight and continues to the floor. Ekmo kills Mafia with a chair. The fans are loving this. Mafia moves out of the way of an Ekmo charge and Ekmo crashes through a table. Samu is seated in the corner and Monsta Mac charges with a crossbody. Ekmo back in the ring with a superkick on Mac. Da Squad with a double team suplex on Ekmo. Figure four by Homicide and Mac hits a frog splash. Samu pulls the ref out of the ring to stop the count. Mac goes for a crossbody but Ekmo doesn’t go down. He goes for another one but gets caught and hit with a swinging urinagi! The Samoans take over and hit splashes in the corner. They throw the ref out of the ring. The fans are loudly behind the Samoans. Some security and refs come out to pull the Samoans back and the bell rings at 5 minutes. Da Hit Squad gets up and the fight continues.

Global Tag Team Crown Champion CW Anderson vs. “Dr. Death” Steve Williams
Ya know I just realized that when the Extreme Horsemen were to be presented with the belts they got jumped. Court Bower was supposed to present them and had a briefcase with him, which was said to hold the belts. They were never presented and we have never seen them. They must not actually have any belts. If Williams and Sandman can beat Anderson and Simon Diamond in singles matches tonight they get a title shot next month. Williams hits the ring and is jumped right away. CW has the advantage but Williams fights back and they take it to the floor. The fight continues and Williams gets hip tossed on the floor. Williams fights back and throws Anderson into the crowd. Williams with a few chair shots but Anderson comes back and uses the chair on Williams. Anderson hits Williams in the arm with it. Williams rolls into the ring and clotheslines Anderson but it also hurts his arm. Anderson goes to work on the arm. After a few minutes Williams hulks up but misses a corner charge. Anderson gets two on a belly to back suplex. Williams again makes a comeback but gets cut off by a superkick that almost gets 3. Anderson misses a corner charge and Doc goes for Oklahoma stampede but Anderson’s foot hits the ref. Williams has the cover but the ref is down. Simon Diamond runs in and hits a superkick. Williams just manages to kick out. Anderson locks in a sleeper as Sandman runs down to chase away Diamond. Williams breaks out of the sleeper with death drop driver and he picks up the win in 9.06. Anderson’s heat spots seemed to take forever. This match was pretty slow.

“Evil F’n Show” Jerry Lynn (w/ Sinister Minister) vs. Homicide
Paul London was supposed to be tonight’s opponent for Lynn but London had been signed by WWE. Lynn gets on the mic and runs him down. Lynn says he doesn’t care who downs next because he is going to bring out all his frustration on them. Lynn attacks as soon as Homicide hits the ring but he gets taken down with a head scissor and goes to the floor to slow it down. Back in the ring Lynn has the early advantage but Homicide is able to out wrestle him and ends up with a headlock. Lynn backs it into the corner and throws a few elbows. Lynn sends it other way and goes for a monkey flip but Homicide lands on his feet. Lynn charges but gets taken down. They trade missing elbow drops, Homicide with an arm drag into an arm bar. They end up on the floor Homicide goes for a baseball slide but Lynn catches his legs and spins and drops him on the guardrail. Lynn with a chair to the back. They go into the ring and Lynn with a chin lock. Homicide fights out and lands a missle drop kick from the second rope. Homicide beats Lynn down in the corner. He backs up charges and hits a flying knee to the face of Lynn. Lynn comes back and is working over the jaw. Homicide pointing to his face and Joey wonders if the jaw was broken on the guardrail. Lynn lifts Homicide for what appears to be a gut buster but drops Homicide’s jaw to his knee. Homicide lands on his feet out of a german. Lynn though hits a tilt a whirl backbreaker for 2. Jaw breaker and Homicide is rolling on the ground in pain. Sleeper by Lynn but Homicide quickly turns into it and hits a belly to back supelx. Homicide fires up with a back body drop and t bone for 2. Dropkick sends Lynn to the floor and Homicide hits his somersault dive through the ropes. Back into the ring as we pass the 12 minute mark. Back in the ring Lynn with a corner whip but misses the charge. Homicide jumps off the top with a tornado DDT. Lynn escapes at 2. Homicide now with a corner charge but Lynn moves. Homicide jumps to the second rope and Lynn goes for a power bomb out of the corner. Homicide is holding on so Sinister Minister hops up and distracts the ref. Lynn punches low and comes out of the corner with a running tiger bomb for 2.9. Lynn gets Homicide on the second rope but gets headbutted down. Homicide charges but Lynn with a tornado single arm DDT for another near 3. Lynn goes for a cradle piledriver gets backdrop out of it but lands on his feet. Lynn pushes off Homicide who goes for a clothesline. Lynn ducks it lands a TKO but NO Homicide just manages to kick out. Both men are down and the ref beings the 10 count. Lynn up and goes for a tombstone but its reversed but Homicide can’t hold it and they just kinda slide to the ground. Lynn goes for a clothesline Homicide ducks and goes for the cop killer but Lynn slips out. Homicide hits the ropes and nails a mafia kick. Lynn barely kicks out. All the fans are on their feet. Homicide goes up but gets cut off. Superrana by Lynn but Homicide rolls through and gets a 3 count in 17.34!!! Pretty awesome match. Interesting choice of body part to work over by Lynn I have never seen that before. I would say this is in the top 3 MLW matches so far. I was surprised by the finish. Even though they have jobbed out Lynn in MLW I was thinking with the addition of Sinister Minister and further change of character that he would pick up the win.

Global Tag Team Crown Champion Simon Diamond vs. Sandman
Sandman plays to the crowd and Diamond gets on the mic and asks him if he’s done yet. Diamond questions where Sandman’s cane is and then tells him he took it and hid it cause he knows it’s the only way he could beat him. Diamond says Sandman would never be able to out wrestle him and goes to shake his hand. Sandman grabs it and goes for an arm bar but kicks super kicked. Already? I hate that every member of the Extreme Horsemen does a super kick. Sandman fights back and they go to the floor. Sandman chops Diamond all around the ringside area and then they go back in. Sandman hangs Diamond on the top rope and hits a leg drop from the top turn buckle. Superranna and Diamond grabs onto the ref as CW Anderson comes into the ring and superkicks Sandman. Diamond gets two but then finishes off Sandman with the gem cutter in 3.10. Sandman and Steve Williams don’t get a tag team title match now. This match was too short to be anything.

Mikey Whipwreck (w/ Sinister Minister) vs. Sabu (w/ Bill Alfonso)
They trade punches right away. Sabu gets the upperhand and goes right for the camel clutch. Minister attacks Alfonso on the floor distracting Sabu. This allows Mikey to attack from behind. They go to the floor and Mikey puts Sabu on a table and begins to climb the ropes but Sabu pulls him down. Sabu now goes up to the top turnbuckle but Minister pushes him off and back into the ring. Mikey comes off the top with a clothesline for 2. Minister puts a table in the ring and Mikey puts it on its side and crotches Sabu on it. Sabu comes back with a DDT for 2. Sabu puts Mikey on the table and Alfonso comes in the ring and holds Mikey down. Sabu comes off the top rope but Mikey moves and pulls Alfonso in the way and he gets put through. Mikey hits a whippersnapper for 2. Mikey goes for a belly to back but Sabu flips out of it trips Mikey and rolls over his back and locks on a camel clutch. Minister comes into the ring and throws fire into Sabu’s eyes. Mikey attacks Sabu’s arm with a chair. Arabian face buster by Mikey and he covers for the win in 5.32. Mikey attacks Sabu’s arm with the chair again after the match. Sabu is on the ground in pain hold his arm. Alfonso comes in the ring and pours water on it. Haha what? How is that supposed to be helpful? This was more of a mess then most Sabu matches.

Richard J Criado vs. Nosawa
Well I guess this is that upset win by Criado Joey was talking about earlier. Joey says a major announcement is coming next week on MLW TV regarding the junior division. Nosawa uses his speed and kicks to gain the early advantage. Cirado fires back and chokes Nosawa in the corner. He charges Nosawa in the corner but eats a boot. Nosawa comes out with a clothesline attempt but its ducked. Criado plants Nosawa with a michinoku driver and gets the quick victory in 1.39

CM Punk & Michael Shane (w/ Francine) vs. Raven & Norman Smiley (w/ GI Ho)
Punk gets on the mic and trashes the Florida fans. Some theatrics from Smiley and Ho before the bell. Punk and Raven start off but before they even make contact Punk tags Shane. Smiley comes in and they lock up. Shane with a shoulder block and he goes for a back body drop but Smiley kicks him hits a clothesline and slam. Francine comes in and Smiley does the big wiggle on her. Shane goes for a body scissor but gets caught in the wiggle also. Punk comes in and manages to avoid the wiggle but Raven clotheslines him out of the ring. The heels bail to the floor and regroup with Francine. Punk and Raven in the ring now and Raven fires away on Punk. Raven with a clothesline in the corner and bulldogs him back out. Smiley comes in and clotheslines Punk to the floor again. Smiley and Shane now tag in and Shane kicks Smiley in the gut and beats him in the corner. Shane goes for a crossbody but gets caught and slammed. Smiley rolls out of a backslide and hits a butterfly suplex. Shane sends Smiley to the ropes and Francine grabs his foot. Norman sticks his head out of the ropes to go after her but Punk boots him in the head from the apron. Shane distracts the ref which allows Punk to work over Smiley in the corner. Punk comes in with a suplex and then they hit a double team suplex. Shane, Punk and Francine cheat behind the refs back and tag in and out for the next few minutes. Smiley makes a tag but the ref is distracted by Shane and doesn’t see. Punk with a double underhook into a back breaker and he tags out. Shane comes off the second rope with an elbow but Raven breaks it up. Punk tags in and goes up top while Shane holds Smiley. Smiley moves and is able to tag Raven. Raven cleaning house and he gets a chair. Raven with a drop toe hold onto the chair on both his opponents. Smiley back in and he takes Shane out of the ring with a clothesline. Raven hits a DDT but Francine breaks it up. Cat fight time. Shane with a super kick on GI Ho! Smiley rushes to her side. Shane nails Smiley with a chair and goes after Raven but he moves. The chair bounces off the ropes and hits Shane. Raven goes to DDT Shane but Punk throws powder in his eyes and DDTs Raven. Punk gets the win for his team in 11.59. Raven gets Ho to show her boobs after the match. This was good enough nothing spectacular but nothing bad.

Terry Funk is out next to take on whoever has taken Champion Steve Corino up on his bounty. Corino comes out next. Corino says Funk is old and should have retired years ago. Corino says Abdullah the Butcher will not come out to fight Funk because Corino can collect his own bounty. Funk goes after Corino and Abdullah attacks from behind.

Abdullah the Butcher vs. Terry Funk
Abby smashes Funk in the face with a broken bottle and Funk is bleeding. Into the ring they go and Abby uses the bottle on Funk’s arm. Funk is bleeding like crazy. Funk goes to the floor and throws some chairs into the ring. Funk comes back in the ring and Abby stabs him with something he took from his boots. Funk gets the fork and stabs Abby and he’s now bleeding. Funk goes low on Abby about ten times. Funk throws a chair at Abby and goes for the spinning toe hold. Abby breaks it by using the fork on Funk. This match is so slow. Abby drops the elbow for 2. Irish whip and Funk hits the most awful looking cross body block ever for the win at 7.41. I hope this match doesn’t make it to TV so I don’t have to watch it again.

Champion Steve Corino vs. Mike Awesome
Awesome jumps Corino as soon as he gets in the ring. Corner whip followed by an avalanche and Awesome sends him back the other way and hits another one. Release german and a clothesline sends Corino to the floor. Corino fights back on the floor and sends Awesome into the ring post. Styles reminds us that Awesome has promised to win the match by knock out. Corino back in the ring charges Awesome who is standing on the apron. Awesome comes back into the ring with a slingshot shoulder block. Clothesline takes down Corino but he ducks a second on and drop kicks Awesome’s knee. Corino goes to work on the knees of Awesome. Corino now brings a chair into the ring and nails Awesome with it. Corino goes up top but Awesome cuts him off and hits a superplex. Corino kicks out at 2. Awesome picks up the chair but Corino kicks him low. Corino goes for a clothesline but Awesome ducks and gets the chair again. Awesome nails Corino hard in the head three times and then comes off the top rope with a chair shot. Sitout Awesomebomb. Awesome goes up top again and hits the big splash but some how Corinon is able to kick out. Awesome brings two tables into the ring, he leans them in opposite corners. Corino slips out of an awesomebomb. Awesome turns and charges to clothesline Corino but he ducks and the ref gets nailed. Corino with a superkick. Awesome comes right back and hits the running bomb through the table. Back the other way with another one through the table. Corino is out but there is no ref to count the fall. The ref finally wakes up but Corino is able to kick out at 2. Corino fights back and hits Awesome with something that shatters. Awesome kicks out though. Extreme Horsemen hit the ring and start stomping Awesome. They hold him and Corino picks up a chair. Terry Funk hits the ring and nails everyone with a garbage can. He throws a chair at Corino but he ducks. It nails Awesome and Corino gets the pin in 10.49. So you’re telling me Steve fucking Corino can get his ass beat and still not go down but someone throws a chair at Mike Awesome and it’s enough to pin him. That’s bullshit. Extreme Horsemen beat on Funk after the match. They hang Funk over the top rope with wrist tape. Sandman and “Dr. Death” Steve Williams make the save. Sandman challenges the Tag Champions to a match right now. Diamond says yes but makes it a handicap match.

Extreme Horsemen vs. Sandman & “Dr. Death” Steve Williams
Sandman baseball slides Corino. Williams follows him to the floor and they brawl into the ring. CW with a spinebuster on Williams. Triple superkick onto Sandman that always looks so cool. Funk jumps in the ring and hits a stunner on all the Horsemen. Sandman pins Diamond with a senton in 1.50. Joey mentioned during the match that if Williams and Sandman lost they would leave MLW but a victory gets them a title match at Summer Apocalypses. I’m thinking they won’t use the promo that made the match on TV and will edit in some backstage segments since they went 1-1 in the singles matches earlier tonight. Funk and Corino brawl in the aisle after the match.

My thoughts on the show…
No feuds seemed settled tonight; everything looks to be heading in Summer Apocalypse the same. Lynn Homicide was real good but nothing else worth seeing. Lots of stuff was down right bad Criado, Maximos and the Funk match come to mind. Thumbs are down for this.

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