The “OH MY GOD!” Review: ECW TV 5/17/94 – 6/14/94 (5 Episodes)

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TV 1994-05-17 (Matches taped Night the Line Was Crossed 1994-02-05 at ECW Arena in Philadelphia, Pa & 1994-05-13 at ECW Arena in Philadelphia, Pa)

Champions
Heavyweight: “The Franchise” Shane Douglas
TV: Mikey Whipwreck
Tag: Public Enemy

Opening video. Philly has just been named most hostile city in the U.S. according to news paper headlines shown in the opening.

Matty in the House is tonight’s host. He brings us to the Public Enemy and Paul E promo from the end of last week and then highlights from the When Worlds Collide main event. Terry Funk is backstage and he says he can’t believe he was double crossed. He hasn’t asked for help in ten years but it’s apparent that he needs some help now. He says he has called his brother Dory Funk to come join him.

We go to a promo highlight package of the Public Enemy to hype the Public Enemy against Terry and Dory Funk on June 24th. Public Enemy say they came from the hood to become the Tag Team Champions. Rocco Roc says that they are going to keep the belt when they face the Funk brothers.

“Wildman” Sal Bellomo vs. Mr Hughes (w/ Jason), ref Jim Molineaux (1994-02-05)
Oh no this is not going to be good at all. Hughes beats on Bellomo for a while. Sal fights back but Jason grabs his foot. Hughes hits the bossman slam and gets the win in 3.14. Pretty much a squash.

Champion “The Franchise” Shane Douglas says that everyone came out to the Arena this past week to see him. He talks about how he’s great.

“Ironman” Tommy Cairo is cutting a promo and Sandman attacks him and nails him with the cane and tells him to pay his bills. Back from break and Sandman is with Woman. Sandman says again that all Cairo had to do was pay the $100. Instead he now will pay him in blood. Sandman says Peaches could never be the woman that Woman is. Woman makes some sexual innuendoes.

We get the Paul E and PE promo from the end of the of the When Worlds Collide home video.

TV Champion Pitbull (w/ Jason) vs. Mikey Whipwreck, ref Jim Molineaux (1994-05-13)
Jay Sulli is on commentary. UGH where was Joey this week. Well we know who wins this one now lets find out how. Oh my god i can’t explain to you how awful Sulli is. Pitbull beats on Mikey. Sulli calls a belly to belly a belly to back obviously not understanding body parts. Pitbull with a power bomb but Tazmaniac shows up and jumps onto the apron. Pitbull kicks him in the head. He goes for another kick but Tazmaniac jumps off the apron. Pitbull crotches himself on the top rope and Mikey draps an arm on him for the win and title in 5.01. The crowd erupts. That whole thing came out of no where. I guess they are adding Mikey into the underdog guys of JT Smith and Chad Austin.

Terry Funk promo from the end of When Worlds Collide.

My thoughts on the show…
Garbage episode. Two awful matches and waaay too much Matty in the House.

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TV 1994-05-24 (Matches taped 1994-05-13 at ECW Arena in Philadelphia, Pa)

Champions
Heavyweight: “The Franchise” Shane Douglas
TV: Mikey Whipwreck
Tag: Public Enemy

Last weeks TV Title match finish.

Jay Sulli is with the new TV Champion and Mikey says he will defend against anybody. Sullivan tells him that his first defense is going to be against Kevin Sullivan.

Opening video set to “Loser” by Beck featuring lots of Mikey getting beat up.

TV Champion Mikey Whipwreck vs. Kevin Sullivan, ref Jim Molineaux
Willie “Scoops” Watts is filling in for the “vacationing” Joey Styles. In reality Styles has left ECW do to a money dispute. Paul E Dangerously is also on commentary. Sullivan attacks before the bell. Sullivan beats the crap out of Mikey on the floor for a good 3 minutes including dropping him with a power bomb. Sullivan ties Mikey up in the tree of woe and charges with a few knees. The ref steps in to stop it and Sullivan knees him too. Sullivan gets DQed and Mikey keeps the title. 3.49 was shown as there was a commercial break during the match.

Quick promo by Champion “The Franchise” Shane Douglas during which he says he is a wrestler not an entertainer. Mr. Hughes video package. Tag Team Champions Public Enemy video package. Video packages of Terry Funk, Bruise Brothers and Tommy Dreamer air. These 8 man will meet in tonight’s main event.

Paul E is in the locker room and he is hyping June 3rd as Sabu will take on 2 Cold Scorpio. He then hypes June 24th as PE take on the Funk brothers.

Terry Funk promo talking about how he’s going to team with Dory for the first time in a decade. Funk invites all the fans out to the Arena to watch them beat up the PE.

Chad Austin vs. Keith Sheara, ref John Finnegan
All they talk about during the match is how these guys are upset kids. Sheara beat Jake Roberts earlier this year at the Manhattan Center with some help from Shane Douglas. Sheara with a back body drop that sends Austin all the way around onto his stomach! Nice suplex by Sheara. Press slam by Sheara. Sheara with an irish whip. Austin leap frogs then slides out of another press slam attempt. Austin with a roll up for the win in 3.39.

Shane Douglas and Mr. Hughes are backstage and Douglas says he paid Hughes lots of money to watch his back. Hughes says that everyone that has the gold or wants the gold calls him for help. Hughes says that anyone that wants a piece of Douglas has to go through him.

Champion “The Franchise” Shane Douglas, Mr. Hughes & Tag Team Champions Public Enemy vs. Terry Funk, Bruise Brothers & Tommy Dreamer, ref John Finnegan
Johnny Grunge gets on the mic and tells Tod Gordon he needs to come to the ring. Gordon comes to the ring and tells Funk he has to leave because they just got served papers saying he can not be in the match. Apparently PE has some type of restraining order against him. We go to commercial and come back to a giant brawl in the ring. We go back stage and Funk is in the locker room asking someone to go to the ring to help. Funk grabs JT Smith and basically drags him to the ring. Smith hits the ring and goes after the PE. PE injure the knee of Smith and Douglas comes in the ring and locks on the figure four. The ref calls for the bell at 4.55. Smith is mad and then we go to the parking lot where we are told everyone else is brawling. However we just see a bunch of fans running around. Smith nails the ref.

Sandman is with Woman and he tells “Ironman” Tommy Cairo to pay his bills! He even offers to reduce the bill to just $75. Sandman hypes a Singapore Cane on a Pole Match for June 24th.

My thoughts on the show…
Meh, not terrible but nothing really going on here.

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TV 1994-05-31 (Matches taped 1994-05-13 at ECW Arena in Philadelphia, Pa)

Champions
Heavyweight: “The Franchise” Shane Douglas
TV: Mikey Whipwreck
Tag: Public Enemy

Quick promo from Paul E Dangerously saying that on June 24th Sabu is going to take on Atsushi Onita. Someone yells from off camera saying it’s not him and Paul E wants to know who it is.

Opening video.

Eariler this evening “Ironman” Tommy Cairo beat Rockin’ Rebel. After the match Sandman hit the ring and attacked Cairo with the cane. Cairo gets busted open as Rebel and Sandman double team him.

“Wildman” Sal Bellomo vs. Don E Allen, ref John Finnegan
Back to live action and this match has just begun. Bellomo picks up the easy victory with a splash in 3.22.

Sandman and Woman are in the locker room. Sandman again says Cairo has to pay and then he gets a page on his beeper. It’s one of his better customers so Cairo is costing him even more money. They hype the match for the 24th. Also signed for the 24th is the Funk Brothers against Tag Team Champions Public Enemy. Pitbull takes on Tazmaniac in a Dog Collar Match and Champion “The Franchise” Shane Douglas tags with Mr. Hughes to take on the Bruise Brothers.

Tazmaniac vs. Kyle Sheara, ref Jim Molineaux
Kyle tries to get the early jump but it doesn’t work. Tazmaniac destroys Sheara on the floor using the guardrail and time keeper’s bell. Half nelson suplex for the win in 1.33.

Highlights of JT Smith from last week. Smith talks about his knee injury and how people have started to feel sorry for him. We get a retrospective on Smith’s ECW career so far with lots of clips. Smith says he’s not going to take it anymore and it’s time for him to start standing up for himself. This would have been decent if Smith wasn’t so awful on the mic.

Paul E is freaking out because he wants to know who Sabu’s opponent is on the 24th. He guesses Stan Hansen, Arn Anderson or Abdullah the Butcher but is told no to all three.

Pitbull (w/ Jason) vs. Damion Stone, ref John Finnegan
Fans chant “Where’s your belt” at Pitbull. Pitbull hits a power bomb but gets distracted by the chant giving Stone about 5 seconds of offense. Pitbull with a belly to belly but he doesn’t go for the cover as he just wants to beat on Stone. Stone gives up to a full nelson at 4.53.

TV Champion Mikey Whipwreck is with Jay Sulli and he is all beat up with black eyes and bruises all over. He asks Sulli if he thinks Tod Gordon will take the belt back. Sulli says next week he has to fight Mr. Hughes for the title. Mikey whimpers and says that he’s going to die and walks off. Video package for both Mikey and Hughes.

Champion “The Franchise” Shane Douglas vs. Chad Austin, ref John Finnegan
Willie “Scoops” Watts of course makes note of the similarity between Mikey and Chad. Austin works the arm and hits an inverted atomic drop. Chad stays on the arm but Shane reverses a corner whip and hits a belly to belly for the win in 3.22. Good showing by Austin but not enough. “Simply the Best” video package for Douglas. This song is pretty great.

Public Enemy are outside by the train tracks because their lawyer told them that just like Terry Funk can’t go near them they have to stay away from him too. Johnny Grunge is very upset because it means he can’t go through anyones bags to try and take their stuff. HAHA

Terry Funk vs. Hack Meyers, ref John Finnegan
Funk beats up Hack and piledrivers him on the floor. Funk gets up limping and holding the knee that PE hurt at When Worlds Collide. Back in the ring Hack gets in a few shots. Watts says that Funk is fighting even though the olds are against him. Dude Hack just got dropped on his head on concrete. Hack goes to the floor and gets a chair but Funk gets it back nails Hack with and locks on the spinning toe hold for the win in 5.24.

PE are back at the tracks oh they are all the way in South Central LA. Rocco Roc says they are going to the Double Cross Ranch to get the Funks before the 24th. I really hate Johnny Grunge cutting a promo.

Paul E is back and he wants the fans to boycott the Arena on the 24th. He just found out who Sabu is fighting and he is worried. He says if no one shows up they will cancel the show. If they show up and the match goes on it could be the end of Paul E. They cut to the WCW Saturday Night set and out from the behind the doors comes CACTUS JACK!!!! Jack gives the old “Bang Bang” and we fade to black.

My thoughts on the show…
Pretty enjoyable segment from Mikey Whipwreck, a bunch of squash matches and a good story to follow with Paul E throughout the show with a great surprise ending.

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TV 1994-06-07 (Matches taped 1994-05-13 at ECW Arena in Philadelphia, Pa)

Champions
Heavyweight: “The Franchise” Shane Douglas
TV: Mikey Whipwreck
Tag: Public Enemy

Last week we learned that Cactus Jack is coming to ECW to face Sabu at the now named show on June 24th, Hostile City Showdown.

Kevin Sullivan (w/ Woman) vs. Keith Sheara, ref Jim Molineaux
Sullivan throws about 79 chairs at Sheara. Woman gets in some kicks. Double stomp ends it in 2. Peaches comes to the ring with the cane but Sullivan steps in-between her and Woman and takes the can away. “Ironman” Tommy Cairo now comes down and goes after Sullivan. Sandman now comes out and gets the cane. Sandman goes after Peaches. Sullivan takes the cane from him, Cairo and Peaches leave and then we see Woman lighting Sandman’s cigarette in the aisle. This end part seemed to be edited a bit so I wonder if something happened between Sullivan and Sandman that they didn’t show.

Too Cold Scorpio has come to ECW. Scorpio hypes up ECW and says he is excited to be there and take on anyone that wants to go up against him. ECW video package to “Whoomp There It Is”. Lots of previously unseen clips in this video.

AJ Power (w/ Hunter Q Robbins III) vs. Crash the Terminator, ref Jim Molineaux
We are joined in progress. Power with a sledge to the back and then a clothesline. AJ cheats a bit as Robbins distracts the ref. AJ completely dominates the match for some reason. He goes up top and hits a cross body for 2. AJ goes up again and yells out power slam then dives off the top and Crash catches him with you guessed it….a powerslam. Crash picks up the win in 3.47.

Tazmaniac takes on Sandman later on tonight and first we get a little run down of what each competitor has had going on lately as well as the common link of Woman between the two.

Tazmaniac vs. Sandman (w/ Woman), ref John “Pee Wee” Moore
Woman’s involvement in this match makes me officially give up hope for Tazmaniac and Sullivan to start tagging again :(. Tazmaniac beats on Sandman and he bails to the floor. Taz goes after him and grabs a chair and nails him with it. Sandman gets front suplexed through a table! Back in the ring and it’s the Sandman with a suplex. Taz almost takes off Sandman’s head with a clothesline. Sandman with a kick low. Taz comes off the top with a clothesline for 2. Sandman rakes the eyes and is back in control. He goes up top and hits a terrible looking elbow drop. He goes up once more but Taz meets him up there and hits a super belly to belly for the win in 6.58. Pitbull hits the ring and nails Taz with a chain. These guys will go at it in a few weeks in a Dog Collar Match. Sandman joins in on the attack.

Sal Bellomo vs. Billy Firehawk, ref John Finnegan
Firehawk attacks from behind but Sal hits a clothesline and splash for the win in .10.

Jason and Mr. Hughes introduce themselves and then we go to a Hughes video package to hype his match with TV Champion Mikey Whipwreck later tonight.

Cactus Jack says he thought he had done it all in wrestling and then he saw a tape of Sabu and learned there was a whole new world of wrestling out there. Jack is coming to ECW to take on Sabu on the 24th!

We go to a video package of the feud between Tag Team Champions Public Enemy and Terry Funk starting back when Terry slapped Paul E. Dangerously when Paul E made fun of his daughter. This led to Paul E hiring PE to take out Funk. PE will take on the Funk Brothers on the 24th. PE are at the Double Cross Ranch. They talk like cowboys and dance a bit while we see clips of all the destruction they have caused in ECW. They spray paint “Terry Funk’s daughter is a ho” on a barn wall and steal a Llama.

TV Champion Mikey Whipwreck vs. Mr. Hughes (w/ Jason), ref John Finnegan
Mikey nervously limps to the ring to a big “Mikey” chant that I’m fairly certain is edited in. Mikey tries to just hand the belt to Hughes but Hughes wants to beat someone up tonight. Hughes with an awesome looking sidewalk slam but he breaks the pin at 2. Hughes with a standing sidewalk slam but again he breaks the pin. Hughes sets up another sidewalk slam and the ref is yelling that he is going to DQ him if he does it again. Hughes hits a third one and the ref calls for the bell and DQs him at 2.08. What a bullshit finish. Why would he get DQed for beating up his opponent that’s the whole fucking point of wrestling. Shouldn’t Hughes have just gotten the title if the ref felt Mikey couldn’t go on anymore?

Paul E is in the locker room and he talks about how everyone in Atlanta hates him. For the past 8 months they have even more reason to hate him because he has something that they want, Sabu. Paul E wants to cost Ted Turner money by taking out Cactus Jack and ruining their tag team division. Sabu knows that he can never truly be the most suicidal, homicidal, genocidal wrestler until he takes out Jack.

My thoughts on the show…
I’m going through 911 withdrawal. The opening match and shenanigans were fun and the Taz Sandman match was surprisingly good. The end to the main event really pissed me off. Another good promo from Paul E of course. Overall an enjoyable show here.

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TV 1994-06-14 (Matches taped 1994-05-13 at ECW Arena in Philadelphia, Pa & 1994-06-03 at Farmer’s Market in Montgomeryville, Pa)

Champions
Heavyweight: “The Franchise” Shane Douglas
TV: Mikey Whipwreck
Tag: Public Enemy

Bruise Brothers vs. Joel Hartgood & Dino Sendoff, ref Jim Molineaux (1994-05-13)
The brothers attack their opponents as they come down the aisle. Double big boot to Hartgood ends it in .47. No commentary on this one

Matty in the House talks about last weeks TV Title match and we get some clips, at least I assume that’s what he’s talking about as there is no audio and then brings us to our next match.

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Sandman vs. “Ironman” Tommy Cairo, ref Jim Molineaux (1994-06-03)
Woman and Peaches are barred from ringside, AKA they weren’t at the show. Powerslam by Cairo and he goes up top and hits what I think is supposed to by a spin kick off the top but he hits Sandman with his back instead of leg/foot. They fight up some steps and Sandman escapes and starts to go down and Cairo throws a chair to the back of his head. We clip and Cairo dives off a bannister with a clothesline. Cairo beats the shit out of Sandman with a metal table hitting him in the head with it 5 or 6 times and getting the pin. 2.55 was shown. Cairo goes to the ring to celebrate after the match but Sandman attacks him with the Singapore cane. Cairo busted wide open. Commentary on this one but no crowd noise.

Back to Matty and he throws it to a Sandman and Woman promo with no audio. I’m sure he talks about how his wife is a prostitute.

Public Enemy music video to “Fantastic Voyage” by Coolio.

More audio issues as we go to Matty and then a Too Cold Scorpio promo all with no sound. This may have been the same promo as last week as it’s followed by the same music video.

JT Smith vs. Hack Meyers, ref Jim Molineaux (1994-05-13)
Hack with the early advantage but Smith fires back and hits a fallaway slam. Smith fired up after all that has happened to him lately. More back and forth. I’m assuming they fuck something up because they cut to the crowd, also cause they both suck so it would make sense that they fuck something up. Smith with a small package for 3 in 3.20.

Paul E Dangerously wonders who in WCW wants to get rid of Cactus Jack and who is setting him up to get beat up by Sabu.

Sabu (w/ Paul E Dangerously & 911) vs. Too Cold Scorpio, ref John Finnegan (1994-06-03)
Back and forth for the first few minutes. Sabu hits a drop kick and Scorpio goes to the floor. Sabu with a dive over the top nailing Scorpio. Back in the ring Sabu with a clothesline that sends Scorpio back to the floor. Scorpio on the apron and Sabu goes for a sunset flip power bomb to the floor but Scorpio hangs onto the rope and Sabu hits the floor. Scorpio jumps off the apron with a cross body. Scorpio goes to work on the leg of Sabu. They go to the floor for a bit. Sabu brings a chair into the ring and Paul E pretends that there are rules that need to be followed and distracts the ref as Sabu uses the chair about 100 times. Sabu opens up the chair and attempts to super piledriver Scorpio through it. Scorpio though pushes him off the buckle and hits a cross body and then a splash off the top both getting him a 2 count. German for 2. Another top rope splash but again Sabu kicks out. Spin kick sends Sabu to the floor. Paul E and 911 go over and Scorpio dives on all three of them. Paul E again distracts the ref and 911 grabs Scorpio and chokes him out then places him on a table. Sabu with a springboard moonsault through the table. 911 throws Scorpio into the ring and Paul E rolls Sabu into the ring and on top of Scorpio for the pin in 13.36.

Cactus Jack says the people of Philly know him really well but they are going to see a different Cactus when he meets Sabu.

My thoughts on the show…
Good main event really the only thing worth mentioning here.

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