ECW Hardcore History: Episode 1 – April 6th, 1993
Introduction:
Welcome everyone to a new feature right here at Crazy Max. We are going to go back in time to relive the revolution that would be known as Extreme Championship Wrestling. I am a huge fan of the promotion and really enjoy watching it again and again. Something about the characters and the rebel attitude that the show possessed has stuck with me from the first time that I have watched it. Therefore, it just feels right that we get something going with one of my favorite promotions of all time. Sit back relax and enjoy as we go back and relive this Hardcore History starting with the first episode of what would become Hardcore TV.
Show Opening:
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The show opens up with Jay Sulli and Stevie Wonderful ringside for the inaugural edition of ECW television. Stevie Wonderful starts by trying to get the crowd hyped for the show. Sulli then brings out the president of the ECW Tod Gordon. He brings out the ECW Television title. He announces that the ECW TV Title tournament will start tonight right here on Sports Channel.
Tod Gordon then says we are going to add a third man in the booth and it is none other than the living legend himself…..Eddie Gilbert. Gilbert comes out and says its a pleasure to be in the commentary booth. Gordon said he is not going to put up with Gilbert’s shenanigans and announces the actual third man in the booth and its non other than the living legend Terry Funk!!! Gilbert is heated and says that legends are old men and Funk isn’t that. Funk says that when you run in my old gang then you have to be tough. Funk then says if you want to prove how tough you are then get in the ring. Funk said how bad would it look if this old man kicked his butt. Gilbert then walked off as Funk cut a promo on the fans.
Funk says the Eastern Championship Wrestling is in the HC section of the United States and HC stands for hardcore fans. How corny is this shit. Funk says that some of these guys you may have never heard of but they will give you all they have in this wrestling ring. Gordon says its a pleasure to have Terry Funk here in the ECW. Funk takes it to commercial as we cut this opening segment.
Match 1: ECW Tag Team Title Match: Super Destroys vs. Hell Riders
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The Super Destroyers are doing some sort of hand shake crap in the corner as the Hell Riders come charging at them to get this match under way. They brawl in the corner for a little bit before the Super Destroyers get the advantage. The Destroyer 1 does a terrible knee to the midsection then throws HD down to the mat. They make a tag and both guys beat up on one of the Hell Riders. They then pick him up and drop him to the mat. They take frequently and keep HD isolated in the corner for a period of time.
The Destroyer gets bored and throws HD Rider into his corner so he can tag in EZ Rider. How creative are these names. My goodness can we get to 1996 ECW yet? The Destroyers control the match and they pull up their opponents to inflict more damage. They then power bomb EZ Rider and do a front flip to get the 1-2-3 count. The Super Destroyers are your winners.
After the match Terry Funk gets in an interview with Hunter Q. Robbins as well as the Super Destroyers. Funk calls him Hunter Q. Robbins the turd instead of the third. Hunter gets upset and starts yelling. Hunter says that when Funk is in the presence of greatness he will show him some respect. Hunter tells Funk that he will address him as Hunter Q. Robbins the third then Funk turns around and calls him the turd again. Funk says he has had enough of this moron as we cut to the next segment.
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Recap:
Theres not much here to recap. This was your typical squash match and to be honest both teams looks like total garbage. The Super Destroyers, like most members of the roster at this time, were pretty terrible in the ring but they were big so they got pushed. They dominated the match and had terrible offense throughout. This is a dud and not worth watching.
Highlight video on the Sandman:
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This is just a music video featuring the ECW Heavyweight Champion. It shows him in matches from his Memphis days it appears. They show some clips of him vs. Jerry Lawler and some others. I am watching the network version so it is some cheap ass dubbed in music I’m sure that is going over top of the original music which makes this worse than it probably was originally.
ECW TV Title Tournament Quarter Finals: Tommy Cairo vs. Salvatore Bellomo
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Before the match starts Funk interviews Tommy Cairo. Cairo says ECW and Sports Channel is a tag team meant to be. Cairo then says whenever he comes to town everyone goes down. Cairo starts off the match with a arm drag to Bellomo and Bellomo says that Cairo held the trunks. The ref admonishes Cairo and says not to do it again. They repeat the same move again and Bellomo gets up and stomps up and down in a cry baby fit.
Bellomo gets Cairo in a standing arm bar but Cairo uses his strength and throws him down to the mat. Bellomo gets frustrated and starts throwing the haymakers on Cairo. Jay Sulli’s terrible play by play “thats a major test of strength and I wouldn’t believe it if I didn’t see it.” Joey Styles needs to get here as soon as possible. Bellomo does an arm drag of his own and then gets Cairo in an arm bar. Bellomo backs Cairo into the corner but Cairo starts throwing some lefts and rights and backs Bellomo off.
Cairo whips Bellomo into the corner as he follows him in and hits Bellomo with an uppercut to the face. Bellomo gets Cairo in another arm bar and drops him to the mat. Bellomo starts fighting dirty and rakes the eyes as he drives Cairo back into the corner. Cairo reverses it on Bellomo and starts laying in the right hands. Cairo comes charging in but Bellomo gets the boot up and nails Cairo with it. Bellomo goes for the cover and gets a 2 count.
Bellomo just lays on Cairo and is basically doing nothing. Both guys get back up and Bellomo punches and head butts Cairo. Cairo hits his own right and then charges with a cross body. The Cosmic Commander distracts the ref as Johnny Hotbody comes out to help Bellomo. Hotbody comes off the top rope and nails Bellomo instead of Cairo. Bellomo rolls outside of the ring and gets counted out. Tommy Cairo is your winner and moves on to the second round of the ECW TV Title Tournament.
After the match Johnny Hotbody attacks Tommy Cairo. He goes up to the top rope and goes for an elbow drop but Cairo moves out of the way. Cairo gets up as Hotbody tucks his tale and runs off. They then show the bracket for the ECW TV Title Tournament and show that Tommy Cairo moves on and will face the winner of Jimmy Snuka vs. Larry Winters.
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Recap:
Like most of these matches on these early shows, it is the complete dumps. Cairo isn’t terrible but he needs help to look good. Bellomo was just a gimmick and was garbage in the ring. We had the Grand Wizard rip off on the outside and he didn’t do much to enhance the match or his guy Bellomo. Johnny Hotbody looked like some random bum off the street but I guess this is the type of talent you can get when you are just starting out. This match was very basic and not much to it. No real moves and just a bunch of strikes. Hotbody causing Bellomo to lose the match I’m sure is something that was done for later on but I guess we will find out what that is. All in all just skip this match there is absolutely nothing to see here at all.
Special Challenge Match: Rockin’ Rebel vs. Tony Stetson
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Before we get started here I just have to say Rockin’ Rebel’s mullet is amazing and epitomizes late 80s early 90s. Anywho, we start the match with an arm drag by Stetson to the Rebel who complains that Stetson grabbed his hair. Rebel gets up and gets arm dragged two more times. The second time he gets arm dragged into the ropes and lands on the back of his neck. They get in a collar and elbow tie up and Rebel gets Stetson in a head lock. Rebel goes off the ropes and hits Stetson with a shoulder block. Stetson ends up getting Rebel in an arm bar and he picks him up and gets him in a backdrop as he holds on to the arm bar. Stetson drops some knees to the left arm of the Rebel.
Rebel double reverses Stetson’s irish whip and he throws him into the turnbuckle. Rebel drops an elbow then nails Stetson with a pretty nice looking drop kick. Rebel snap mares Stetson then gets him in a reverse chin lock as the crowd gets anxious and starts booing the Rebel. Rebel hits Stetson with a flying elbow. Rebel then picks up Stetson with a side slam and he goes for the cover and gets a 2 count.
Rebel picks up Stetson and throws him into the ropes and attempts a back body drop but Stetson grabs him by the head and slams him into the mat. Stetson hits a flying forearm then goes up to the top rope and nails the Rebel with a leg drop off the top rope and he gets a 2 count afterwards. Stetson was talking to the ref while Rebel trips up Stetson and gets him in a pin as he puts his feet up on the ropes. Your Winner is the Rockin’ Rebel.
After the match Jay Sulli interviews the Rebel. Rebel says that he is coming after the Sandman and he is ready for him right now. Rebel says he is the number wrestler in the business and he wants his belt. Rebel says the number 1 wrestler doesn’t wear a belt but he soon will be then he does a poor mans Ric Flair woo.
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Recap:
This match wasn’t to bad. Stetson got in some nice offense and they moved at a pretty good pace. The post match interview was brutal because the Rebel would talk normal then yell one word then start talking low again. This is probably the best match on the card but that isn’t saying much at all.
Interview: Jimmy Snuka
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Jay Sulli interviews Jimmy Snuka and he says he is happy to be here at the TV and the college. Snuka says he signed a contract. Snuka then says he wants to bring out somebody that everyone will love and enjoy and its Eddie Gilbert. Eddie comes out and says that Hot Stuff International is alive and well and that Snuka is the first acquisition. Gilbert says that Snuka is going to be the first ECW Television champion.
ECW TV Title Tournament Quarter Finals: Jimmy Snuka vs. Larry Winters
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The match starts with both men circling each other. Snuka kicks winter in the midsection then he double chops the trap area of Winters. Snuka then puts the boots to Winters and starts to choke him with his boot over the bottom rope. Snuka distracts the ref as Gilbert lays in a right hand to Winters. Snuka starts choking him with his boot again. Snuka distracts the ref again as Gilbert chokes Winters again. Snuka then back drops Larry Winters and falls on his ass himself.
Snuka throws Winters off the rope and Snuka nails him with a vicious chop. Snuka throws Winters into the corner and follows him in with big time clothesline. Snuka then winds up and nails Winters with another vicious sounding chop. That sounded brutal. Snuka rakes the eyes with his boot. Winter gets up to the middle rope and Snuka chokes him over the middle rope. Snuka distracts the ref one more time as Gilbert paint brushes Winters as he lays on the middle rope. Snuka throws Winters into the rope and goes for a backdrop but Winters hits him with a boot then a right hand.
Winters drivers Snuka into the corner and lays in some boots but Snuka hits him with an eye rake as he regains control. Snuka hits another chop. Snuka throws Winters into the ropes and hits him with a cross body then a drop kick. Winters hits Snuka with a arm drag then a leg drop. Winters goes for the cover and gets a 2 count. Gilbert climbs up to the middle rope to distract the ref as Winters hits Snuka with a backdrop. Winters goes over and decks Gilbert. Winters then runs into the ropes and Gilbert trips him up. Snuka picks up Winters and hits him with a backbreaker. Snuka then goes up to the top rope and nails his flying splash off of the top rope for the win. Jimmy Snuka is your winner and moves on to the second round of the ECW TV Title tournament.
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Recap:
Snuka basically dominated the match up from the bell but Winters eventually got some nice offense in. Snuka can barely move at this point and he even fell on his ass doing a back drop. The only thing Snuka was good for at this point was name value so I guess you got that out of him. Winters is not very good either so there is nothing to see during this match.
Show Ending:
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We come back from commercial to Funk and Sulli standing ringside. Funk said there are things we can improve on and that the fans shouldn’t give up on them just yet. Bellomo runs out to the ring and says that he wants to get in the ring and have another match. Bellomo gets in the ring and beats the brakes off a jobber. He hits him with a few punches and slams then gets the 3 count. The match was over before it even started. Funk and Tod Gordon then talk about the upcoming show. Next week we will see the quarter finals of the ECW Title Tournament. Sandman will also be on the show next week.
We then get a ECW Special Announcement where they are encouraging fans to send in cards for a dream match that they want to see. Stevie Wonderful then tells us we will see Glenn Osbourne vs. Johnny Hotbody and Eddie Gilbert vs. JT Smith in the ECW Television Title Tournament. He also says that Sandman will make his first appearance on ECW Television. Terry funk will also be back live on ECW.
Show Recap:
If you haven’t gotten the hint yet throughout the review then I guess we can go ahead and sum it up for you here. This show is terrible. I’m assuming they did what they could with the talent that they had at their disposal but the action itself just isn’t very good. The guys looked lazy and not really into it. Funk was trying his hardest to hype up the show but it just wasn’t working. It’s amazing how ECW turned into what it did after watching this episode. The only real reason to watch this show is to see the first ever ECW show on TV and thats about it. Once you seen it once you will never want to see it again and I have a funny feeling that this is how it is going to be going forward. At least until Paul Heyman takes over.
Well this has been episode 1 of ECW Hardcore History. I promise you these will get better as the shows get better so continue to stick with us here at Crazy Max as we delve into the vault and review and enjoy the greatness that is ECW.
