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Countdown “The 5 Greatest Unscripted Disasters in Pro Wrestling” – #3: Andre Gets Drunk

By
Brian Grey
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1

The countdown rolls on! In the last installment we witnessed JBL show his true thoughts on the “Be A Star” campaign that WWE is running. JBL bullies and brutalizes Blue Meanie, but Stevie Richards got a small taste of revenge for his bWo buddy. Up next, we take a trip to the land of the rising sun for a “GIANT” clusterfuck.

Credit once again goes to John Cheese, and his Magic Pimp Bus. Thanks for the great material John! And now, away we go…

#3. Andre the Giant Shows Up Drunk and Decides to Be a Dick

 

Here’s the problem with hiring a guy as big as Andre the Giant: He can do whatever he wants, and there isn’t a goddamn thing you can do about it. If he decides he wants to take a shit on your chest, you just have to quickly come to terms with the fact that you’re about to get shit-chested. All you can do is try to craft a thank you speech that touches him enough to not move on to other bodily expulsions.

In the above video, Andre is wrestling Akira Maeda in the highly respected New Japan Pro Wrestling. The thing is, Akira was kind of a douchebag piece of shit who thought he was much, much better than he actually was. He was known for legitimately attacking other wrestlers in the ring, JBL style, so the company’s booker supposedly asked Andre to teach him a lesson in humility. Andre evidently took this to mean “Get drunk and flop on top of the guy a few times. Then walk around for 30 minutes while he kicks the fuck out of your leg fat.”


“This is for all those future Princess Bride jokes.”

And that’s exactly what happened. Akira attempted to work a legitimate match a few times, but Andre wasn’t having it. Growing more frustrated by the minute, Akira just started taking the giant down and putting him in legitimate cross arm breakers and ankle locks — maneuvers that if applied correctly on non-gigantic men would give them a nice case of surgery after the match.

In response, Andre started full force kicking him in the face. He didn’t just not give a fuck. He had no fucks in the first place. One cannot give fucks that one does not have.

Finally, 25 minutes into the bout, the founder of the company came down to ringside and attempted to talk to both wrestlers, but he might as well have been talking to the goddamn ring itself. Akira continued to kick the shit out of Andre’s legs, and Andre continued to stumble around drunkenly until he was finally taken down one last time, at which point he straight up told Akira, “Pin me.” When Akira refused, the Giant repositioned himself in the ring, spread his arms, and offered the free pin again.


Which is a lot like being offered free room and board by Sarlacc. Sometimes it’s just safer to pass.

Eventually, everyone from both sides of the booking got offended enough that they entered the ring, and the match ended in a unanimous clusterfuck. Akira later went on to kick a man so hard in the face, it broke his fucking orbital bone. He was fired after that one.

I’ll be back this weekend as the countdown reaches our #2 moment, which features Hulk Hogan, Vince Russo, and a more egos than you can shake a stick at.

The “OH MY GOD!” Review: ECW TV 6/29/93 & 7/6/93

By
Heels Inc
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0

TV 1993-06-29 (Matches taped 1993-05-15 from ECW Arena in Philadelphia, PA)

Champions
Heavyweight: Magnificent Don Muraco
TV: Superfly Jimmy Snuka
PA State: Tommy Cairo
Tag: Suicide Blondes

Jay Sulli and Paul E. Dangerously are with Tod Gordon to open the show and they begin to hype a major show coming up in September. They run down the matches for the show. Gordon says that he’s not going to stand for what happened at the end of last week’s TV show.

Back from commercial Sulli is having a sit down interview with Gordon backstage and they discuss Super Summer Sizzler’s main event.

Jay Sulli is backstage and he talks a little bit more about the chain match and brings us to very brief highlights of the match.

Tod Gordon is backstage with Terry Funk. Funk says it was one of the toughest matches he was ever involved in. Funk wants Gilbert and the Dark Patriot in a hair versus mask match.

They replay the Koloff interview from last week.

Ivan & Vladimir Koloff vs. Glen Osbourne & Herve Renesto, ref Jim Molineaux
Ivan did a few ECW shows back in 92 but this is both Koloffs first TV appearance. Vlad starts with Renesto and Ivan yells from the apron for him to break the arm. Vlad works over the arm and tags in Ivan. Ivan continues to work over the arm. Vlad back in he buts on a hammerlock and then a hard belly to belly slam. Vlad ends up getting the submission win in 3.21 as Osbourne spends the whole match standing on the apron.

Same Paul E. Dangerously “production truck” interview as last week. This time we get footage of “Hotstuff” Eddit Gilbert around town. Gilbert found Jay Sulli at the bar and dragged him outside to conduct an interview. Gilbert also found Tod Gordon and trashes both Gordon and Sulli. Sulli and Gordon eventually walk away from Gilbert

Tony “The Hitman” Stetson vs. Larry Winters, ref Joe Dinoli
Winters hits the ring and goes right after Stetson. They go right to the floor and Winters uses a chair and the guard rail. Back in Winters and Stetson brawl with each other. Stetson gets control and they go back to the floor where Stetson now uses a chair. Back in the ring Stetson and Winters both push and punch the ref and get DQed at 3.23. Rockin’ Rebel and Max Thrasher come down and hold Winters so Stetson can get some more shots in until the rest of the locker room clears out to try to break it up.

TV Champion “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka (w/ Don Muraco & Dark Patriot) vs. PA State Champion “Ironman” Tommy Cairo, ref Kevin Christian
Only the TV Title is on the line in this match. They criss cross and Cairo with a hip toss, body slam and spin kick sends Snuka to the floor. Back in Snuka chops Cairo down to the mat. Cairo fights back with a suplex and high back body drop. Snuke with a high knee gets 2. Muraco trips up Cairo off an irish whip. Snuka with a backbreaker and Superfly splash for the win in 4.32. Terry Funk comes to the ring and tells the ref what happened in the match. The ref reverses the decision and Tommy Cairo wins by DQ.

“Wildman” Sal Bellomo is backstage and he wants one of the Tag Team Champions Suicide Blondes for what they did last week. Bellomo is going to put a crack in their heads.

Paul E. Dangerously is backstage with Richard Michaels and Hunter Q. Robbins III. Robbins and Michaels call Bellomo and the Super Destroyers and Three Musketeers. Michaels is taking Bellomo down.

“Wildman” Sal Bellomo vs. Richard Michaels (w/ Hunter Q. Robbins III), ref Jim Molineaux
Things have really been heating up between the Blondes and Bellomo and The Super Ds the past few weeks. Michaels gets the early advantage with a slam and drop kick. Michaels shoves a three-musketeer bar into Bellomo’s mouth. They fight back and forth. Bellomo misses a corner charge and Michaels tries to get the win by putting his feet on the ropes but the ref sees it. Michaels now misses a charge and Bellomo gets the win with his feet on the ropes in 4.12. Christopher Candido and Jonathan Hotbody charge the ring and attack Bellomo until the Super Destroyers come down to even things out. The Destroyers and Bellomo dump the Blondes to the floor as we end this weeks show.

My thoughts on the show…
Wishing I watched these in order of taping instead of how they aired. The Destroyer/Bellomo versus the Blondes feud is really getting interesting and we know that the blow off that took place at Super Summer Sizzler (which I will be posting this weekend) was not very good. Another pretty good episode this week so check it out.

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TV 1993-07-06 (Matches taped 1993-05-15 from ECW Arena in Philadelphia, PA)

Champions
Heavyweight: Magnificent Don Muraco
TV: Superfly Jimmy Snuka
PA State: Tommy Cairo
Tag: Suicide Blondes

Jay Sulli, Paul E. Dangerously and Tod Gordon open up todays program and run down the card. Titles versus Mask Match as the Tag Team Champion Suicide Blondes go up against the Super Destroyers. Gordon threatens Paul E. with fines and storms off.

Hunter Q. Robbins III is backstage with two little girls. Robbins says there is a rumor going around that the Suicide Blondes are not popular. The little girls pretend to be the Super Destroyers. The Destroyers show up and run off Robbins and then hug the kids.

After commercial Paul E. is back stage with Robbins, Christopher Candido and Jonathan Hotbody. Robbins says he made the Destroyers and he can destroy them.

Title vs. Mask Match: Tag Team Champions Suicide Blondes (w/ Hunter Q Robbins III) vs. Super Destroyers (w/ “Wildman” Bellomo), ref Jim Molineaux
Hotbody and Richard Michaels defending the titles in this match. Michaels starts off with Destroyer 2. Destroyer with a pump handle slam and he takes out to 1. He doesn’t do much and tags back to 2. Hotbody gets tagged in and both get slammed. Sulli points out that Candido is not even at ringside right now. Michaels get flung back into the ring and both Destroyers hiptoss him. Super D 1 in the ring now lands an enziguri. 2 back in the ring and he gets cut off and Hotbody gets tagged in. The Blondes switch off a few times and we go to commercial. Back from commercial and D 1 is in the ring and in control of Michaels. Michaels is able to fight back with a swinging neck breaker. Both men are down when Candido comes down and switches places with Michaels while the ref is distracted by Hotbody and Robbins. Super D gets a small package and the ref turns around and counts 3. We have new tag team champions with 6.28 shown. After the match the Blondes argue a bit with each other and all throw a fit.

Sandman and Peaches are backstage and Sandman is talking about how he respects Ivan Koloff for what he has accomplished but doesn’t like the way he treats the American people so he’s going to do something about it.

Paul E. is backstage with Ivan and Vladimir Koloff. Ivan puts over Vlad and then Vlad says they have something special in store for Sandman.

The Sandman (w/ Peaches) vs. Ivan Koloff (w/ Vladimir Koloff), ref Joe Dinoli
Koloff works the arm to start. Sandman gets a head lock take over and works on that for a bit. Sandman ducks an elbow after an irish whip and gets a crossbody for 2. Koloff up quickly with a clothesline and then a 2nd. Sandman with a corner whip Koloff gets the feet up on a corner charge. Sandman throws Koloff off the top rope when Rockin’ Rebel comes down and throws something into Peaches eyes. Sandman doesn’t see whats going on. Sandman with a back elbow and then he goes after Vlad. Ivan with a knee to the back and he gets the pin at 4.50. Sandman now sees what happened to Peaches and wants to know what happened as they stretcher her to the back.

Stevie Wonderful is backstage with Hunter Q. Robbins III and Tod Gordon. Robbins says he will they will leave town if they can’t win the belts back and he is willing to be handcuffed to Sal Bellomo.

Heavyweight Champion Don Muraco, “Hotstuff” Eddie Gilbert, & The Dark Patriot (w/ TV Champion “Superfly” Snuka) vs. Glen Osbourne, “Ironman” Tommy Cairo, & Larry Winters, ref Kevin Christian
Patriot starts off with Cairo. Cairo with a press slam but Patriot fights right back and tags in Gilbert. Suplex by Gilbert and a flying clothesline. Cairo tags in Winters. Winters attacks the arm of Gilbert. Winters team makes a few illegal switches behind the refs back. Gilbert is able to tag Muraco but the ref doesn’t see it so he won’t allow it. Gilbert able to fight off Winters and tag in Muraco. Muraco comes in and powerslams Winters then tags Patriot. Leg drop and DDT by Patriot. Snuka gets in some shots at ringside. Gilbert in the ring and he eventually misses an elbow drop. Osbourne and Patriot and tagged in. Osbourne comes in firing away. Osbourne goes for corner punches but Gilbert runs across the apron and uppercuts Osbourne in the jaw sending him crashing to the mat. Patriot climbs up top and comes off with a flying shoulder tackle to get his team the win in 5.53.

“Hotstuff” Eddie Gilbert is on the street with Jay Sulli. Gilbert says that he is more loved then all the Philadelphia sports teams. Gilbert talks about his brother Freddie. We see clips of Gilbert around town meeting with various people.

Jay Sulli conducts a sit down interview with Eddie and Freddie Gilbert. Eddie’s family didn’t want Freddie to follow in his footsteps and get into wrestling but Eddie had other plans. When Freddie graduated college he grabbed him up and got him to join Hotstuff International in ECW.

Stevie Wonderful is backstage with Tod Gordon. Gordon has signed Tag Team Champions Super Destroyers versus the Suicide Blondes with Sal Bellomo handcuffed to Hunter Q Robbins III. If the Blondes lose they must leave town. The Champions and Bellomo show up and talk about how they are going to retain the titles.

Christopher Candido (w/ Hunter Q. Robbins III) vs. “Wildman” Sal Bellomo, ref Jim Molineaux
Paul E. gets a phone call while on commentary at the beginning of the match from someone telling him that Peaches is at the hospital and can’t see anything. The other two Blondes hit the ring at 1.57 causing a DQ win for Bellomo. Tony Stetson and the Super Destroyers also come down. Stevie Wonderful comes down and Robbins hits him with his cane for some reason. The Destroyers get the cane and slam it into Candido’s arm and they commentators think it might be broken.

My thoughts on the show…
It’s really silly that these shows are airing after the Super Summer Sizzler, as they’re still showing the lead in angles yet the event has already happened. They’re showing matches that were taped 6 weeks ago. Although I guess with this being a local promotion you were probably live at this TV taping in May and Sizzler in June. Even if you didn’t see Sizzler live and ordered the home video you probably wouldn’t receive it until after all these episodes have aired. It’s odd to run interviews with Freddie Gilbert and then have matches that he refs as Kevin Christian. The main event here explains the changes that took place in the tag match at Sizzler since it was never explained by the commentary team that night. Another recommended episode as it prominently featured the tag team title feud, which I’m really into. ECW continues to pick up with fun TV.

Sting On His Relationship And Future With WWE, His Talks With Vince, The Streak, More

By
Brian Grey
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0

In the video above, Sting talks with WWE.com before his appearance at the San Diego Comic Con on Thursday. Below are some highlights:

* He said his relationship with WWE is good and he’s had talks with Triple H. He believes it’s now or never with his age and it’s about time that something happens, if they can make it happen.

* He felt the buzz was huge and the reaction to his WWE 2K15 video was tremendous. He also talked about how his first WWE action figure is a big deal.

* Regarding the end of WCW, he said it was surreal and he thought about going to WWE over the years. He came close a few times after good conversations with Vince McMahon. Sting said Vince always told him that someday they would do business. Sting brought up the idea of facing guys like Randy Orton, John Cena, Triple H and The Rock.

* He said he regrets that The Undertaker’s Streak is over because he wanted to get a shot.

* Regarding his future with WWE, he said it feels great to get his foot in the door. He said the action figure, the new t-shirts and the video game is a good start. Sting told fans it’s good to finally be here with WWE and promised it will be showtime if he ever gets to step foot in a WWE ring.

Brodus Clay Talks Moving Down The Ladder, John Cena, TNA, WrestleMania, More

By
Jim Somers
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0

Credit: Raj Giri and Wrestling INC for this interview.

I recently spoke with former WWE Superstar Brodus Clay. In the interview below, Brodus talks about his time in WWE, people moving down the ladder in WWE, John Cena saving his WrestleMania 28 appearance, pay-per-view payoffs, TNA and more.

Also, make sure to follow Brodus on Twitter @BrodusClay.

Wrestling INC: It felt like you were moving upward with the win streak going, and then you moved down the card once The Big Show feud started. Fans get invested in a character then they suddenly get moved down the ladder such as with Kofi Kingston and Dolph Ziggler. Does creative tell you why this is happening, or do you go to TV and they say, “tonight you lose in 90 seconds?”

Brodus Clay: I can only speak from my experience and one of the things I could have done better was talk to creative. I should have talked to them more than I did. I would speak when spoken to and the same goes for football. Some guys are vocal and can build better relationships. I talked to the agents and they said you’re not a main event guy or you need to be patient. I talked to Road Dogg, “Big” [John Gaburick], Arn Anderson, and Dean Malenko. Whoever was in charge of me that day, that’s how I managed myself. I think it’s a case-by-case scenario. It felt weird talking to creative on my part. I carry myself where I speak when spoken to. It’s good and bad.

Wrestling INC: The Big Show and Mark Henry have been around for a long time. It seems like WWE haven’t properly booked a monster heel in a while. Do you think the company is missing out by not having a new monster heel?

Clay: The company decides in what direction they want to go. I worked hard to try and put myself in that position, but it wasn’t in the cards for me. I had a very good babyface run, but establishing a monster heel – which I think I would have excelled at – and a poor WrestleMania track record is a hard pill to swallow. I thought the heel turn started with the R-Truth matches. It didn’t work out, but I have that opportunity now. It can blow up and people can say the WWE was wrong or it fizzles and the WWE knew what they were doing. The WWE chapter of my life was great and I’m excited about the opportunities out there. I’m excited that the opportunities are interested in me. It’s nice to be a free agent and taking nonstop bookings. The spectacle of the WWE with the titantron and pyro may not be there, but there are close opportunities.

Wrestling INC: You mentioned your WrestleMania track record. Your WrestleMania 28 scene was almost cut, but John Cena prevented that from occurring. Is that what happened?

Clay: He had to go to the bathroom. We were in the gorilla position and it looked like the segment was getting cut. Cena goes, ‘I’m going to the bathroom. Brodus, what do you think like eight minutes?’ Worked for me and I will never forget that. It was the classiest thing for a guy who was getting ready for the then biggest match of his career. I’ve never said we were best friends. We talked about lifting weights, what’s going on in sports, and work. That was truly my greatest moment in sports entertainment. I wouldn’t have had that moment without Cena.

Wrestling INC: When you and Tensai split, did you see that coming or was it a last minute decision by creative?

Clay: I thought there was a direction because Tons of Funk had started to gain momentum. It was also frustrating because we wanted a title shot and they wanted a little more. It didn’t work out. The frustration that was going on came out in my character. Every week you didn’t know what was going to happen and ultimately that’s what did us in. I went after Xavier Woods, T-Truth, Tensai, and then I was used sporadically. Fan-wise, they seemed to like it and I had these promos to set me apart. It didn’t pan out and my days were numbered at that point.

Wrestling INC: WrestleMania 30 was your last televised WWE appearance, outside of NXT. Is that correct?

Clay: Yes.

Wrestling INC: I know there’s been a lot of concern about pay-per-view and WWE Network payoffs. Since it’s been a few months, have you heard anything in that regard?

Clay: From what I understand, nothing changes. I haven’t seen any different pay from the pay-per-view. The logic behind the WWE Network would be to have a consistent flow of revenue, as opposed to sporadic. It might look smaller, but there’s more flow – which leads me to believe payouts will be bigger. That’s not really my concern since I’m no longer with the company.

Wrestling INC: Are you currently on a non-compete clause?

Clay: Yea, like 90 days. The WWE said to let them know what I was going to do and they would handle it on a case-by-case basis. 75% of the time I can do what I want. Anyway, September is right around the corner.

Wrestling INC: What are your thoughts on TNA?

Clay: I have friends who work there. I think TNA is going through a change and change is good. I think they’re going to be alright. They have Kurt Angle, Abyss, Bobby Roode, and James Storm who have been in the title picture for a while and are solid. There’s Bully Ray, The Hardy Boyz, MVP, Bobby Lashley, and lots of other talent. There are lots of guys I look forward to working with at some point.

Wrestling INC: In the meantime, you are taking independent bookings. How can promoters get in touch with you?

Clay: They can hit me up on Twitter at @BrodusClay. I’ll send it to my manager and we can work something out.

Wrestling INC: I appreciate your time. Is there anything else you would like to plug?

Clay: I’m doing the Fit Camp Meals’ 40 pound challenge at fitcampmeals.com and they have some good programs. They helped me cut 170 pounds while keeping muscle, which is extremely hard to do during training and dieting. I got the dolphin project coming up in September. We’re going to Japan to protest the killing of the dolphins. I’ve got a bunch of matches scheduled for July, August, and September. I’ll keep everyone informed on Twitter.

Wrestling INC: Was the upcoming dolphin protest something you had wanted to do for a while?

Clay: My whole life. I’m a huge fan of the Nature Channel programs. Marine biology was something I was into during high school and the beginning of college. Because of sports, I wasn’t able to follow it and had to move on. It has always been on my bucket list to be a part of one. Being in the WWE, The Funkasaurus and the name Brodus Clay has almost crossed over in an underground-mainstream type of way. I reached out and they quickly got back to me. I’m friends with the president of the organization—meeting at firehouses for lunch. I don’t fit the bill of the normal advocate. I’m very excited to be a part of it.

TNA Impact Results for 7/24/14

By
Jim Somers
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0

TNA taped the rest of the July 24th Impact Wrestling episode on Thursday night in New York City. Below are spoilers from both night’s of tapings for this episode:

Taped on Wednesday 6/25:

* Dixie Carter kicks off the show and comes out to huge heel heat with Rockstar Spud, Rhino and Ethan Carter III. Bully Ray ends up interrupting for a fight. Devon makes a surprise return to a big pop and Team 3D reunites in NYC. They clean house and Ray holds EC3 while Devon hits the diving headbutt. They then put Ethan through a table and teased putting Dixie through one.

* Robbie E returns as BroMans come out. Low Ki vs. DJ Zema Ion is next. Low Ki gets the easy win and a big pop.

* The Great Muta came out to barely a reaction which was odd. Muta quickly squashed Robbie E. James Storm came out to have words with Muta. Storm attacked Muta and Sanada ran out. Storm left the ring and Sanada attacked Muta with a steel chair and hit a moonsault.

* Jeff Hardy comes out limping and said we haven’t seen the last of Willow. He brings out Matt Hardy to a pop. Matt cuts a promo about turning his life around and said it’s time to become the TNA Tag Team Champions. The Wolves come out with their titles to respond. A tag team title match is announced for the Destination X tapings.

* In-ring segment with Kurt Angle and Austin Aries. Aries is asked to give up the X Division Title to face Bobby Lashley for the World Heavyweight Title at Destination X. MVP and Lashley were also in the ring. Aries agrees to give up the title and will face Lashley at Destination X.

* King Mo comes out and cuts a promo with Dixie Carter.

* The main event is a Street Fight and it’s Devon, Bully Ray and Tommy Dreamer vs. Rhino, Ethan Carter III and Rockstar Spud. Ezekiel Jackson and Snitsky run in wearing black hoodies and help Team Dixie get the win. Impact ends with Dixie, King Mo, Snitsky, Ezekiel, Rhino, EC3 and Spud posing together.

Taped on Thursday 6/26:

* Jeremy Borash came out to hype the crowd up while they waited for some seats to be filled before starting the show. This show is sold out.

* Bobby Roode vs. MVP opens the show but MVP doesn’t come out. Roode goes back looking for him and the crowd is hot to start the show. MVP and Roode end back up at ringside. Kenny King comes out to help MVP but Eric Young makes the save. Roode defeats MVP in a Falls Count Anywhere match in the middle of the ring with a Sharpshooter.

* Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim for the TNA Knockouts Title is up next. Velvet Sky and Angelina Love interfere, attacking Taryn and causing the DQ. This was said to be a good back and forth match before the interference. The Beautiful People laid both Taryn and Gail out.

* Mr. Anderson and Gunner vs. Bram and Magnus is up next. Magnus and Bram win a quick match after a double team finisher. They beat on Anderson and Gunner after the match until Samuel Shaw runs out and makes the save. Bram ends up beating Shaw down also. Abyss runs out and saves Shaw and Anderson from a beatdown. Abyss clears the ring and Magnus stops Bram from going back in.

NXT Results for WWE Network 7/24/14

By
Jim Somers
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0

NXT 7/24/2014 Episode:

* The Ascension squashed two unknown wrestlers.

* Tyler Breeze squashed Mojo Rawley.

* Charlotte retained the NXT Women’s Title over Summer Rae in a solid Divas match. Charlotte hit Bow Down to the Queen for the win.

* Kalisto and Sin Cara defeated The Vaudevillians when Kalisto pinned Gotch.

* Adrian Neville vs. Rusev is up next. Lana is at ringside. Neville got the win by disqualification after interference from Tyler Breeze. After the match, Rusev attacked Neville and put him in The Accolade. Rusev then beat down Breeze and put him in the move also. Lana and Rusev leave. Neville gets up and hits Red Arrow on Breeze to end it.

WWE Superstars Results For 7/24/14

By
Crazymax Jack
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0

WWE Superstars Results from Miami, FL and the American Airlines Arena for airing 7/24/14
(Taped 7/21/14)

* Adam Rose defeated Heath Slater. Hornswoggle is now a Rosebud.

* Alberto Del Rio defeated R-Truth by submission with the cross armbreaker.

Countdown “The 5 Greatest Unscripted Disasters in Pro Wrestling” – #4: JBL vs. The Blue Meanie

By
Brian Grey
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0

The countdown continues, last time we witnessed the Stinger tackle druggie Jeff Hardy, literally. We did learn a lesson from Mr. Hardy, drugs are bad, M’kay.

Credit once again goes to John Cheese, and his Magic Pimp Bus. Thanks for the great material John! And now, away we go…

#4. JBL Beats the Fuck Out of Blue Meanie….. for Real

 

There are so many stories about why this took place that it’s impossible to give an accurate account. Some people say that it started with an Internet cat fight. Others say that JBL (the big guy with the cowboy hat in the above video) walked into the arena knowing that he was going to attack the Blue Meanie (an out of shape fat dude who already had staples in his head from an injury the night before).

What we do know for sure is that there was a staged brawl that went down in the ring, and both men were a part of it. A few seconds into it, JBL found Meanie and fist-tagged his suckhole. A whole bunch. And when it all settled down, the Blue Meanie looked like whale afterbirth.


Oh yeah, don’t eat while you’re reading this article.

Once the WWE got wind of the incident, they put an immediate stop to it, because you can’t have your talent fighting for real like that. You’re risking major injuries, lawsuits, and lost TV time when one of them has to take time off to heal up.

Oh, no, wait — that’s what a normal company would do. The WWE actually worked the very real incident into a storyline and pitted these two men against each other. These men who clearly hated each other and were not afraid to break the cardinal rule of wrestling and legitimately throw down.

Meanie finally got some proxy payback in a “no disqualification” match that — wait for it — also became real. In that match, JBL was supposed to be hit in the head with a chair by another wrestler named Stevie Richards. However, in the world of wrestling, you obviously don’t take a full-on shot to the head with a large hunk of metal. That shit would literally fucking kill you. There are techniques to giving and receiving those shots that maximize the amount of noise made by the impact while at the same time reducing the amount of force put across the performer’s skull.

At 5:25 in the above video, you’ll notice that Richards follows none of those safety techniques. He just rears back and cracks JBL with a shot so hard, I’m genuinely surprised he survived, let alone remained conscious. Yes, that chair shot was scripted as part of the match. No, it was not supposed to be delivered in that very real, very purposeful manner. By the way, if you don’t like blood, stop watching after that, because it gets pretty bad.


That’s their “let’s get the fuck out of here before he wakes up” walk.

When asked about it, Richards said, “JBL had it coming. It’s that simple.” And then he told WWE that they could fire him if they wanted because he didn’t give a shit. He did what was right.

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