Introduction:
Hello everyone and welcome back to Television Rewind. Where we go back in time and review one of the more historical episodes of television from any time, any era, any company. This episode we are going to 1991 where Jake Roberts is trying to teach the Ultimate Warrior all about the dark side. This time Warrior falls for the trap and ends up in a house of horrors, no not Bray’s, of sorts. We are going to be going back to the summer and we are going to Superstars of Wrestling for this special episode of Television Rewind. Without further ado….lets get to it.
Show Opening:
The show opens up with Savage, Vince McMahon, and Piper standing in the commentary section. Piper is talking about living happily ever after when we outta be talking about the here after. On Thursday night the Ultimate Warrior took his big step and was unraveling a mystery and Undertaker himself. Vince then leads us into the video where Jake is taking the Ultimate Warrior to some “dark room.”
Vignette: Jake Roberts leads Ultimate Warrior to the Dark Side
The video opens up with Jake leading the Warrior down some dark hall with small lights hanging above. Jake says we have gotten to the place that holds it all brother. Jake says inside this room is a coffin with Lucifer waiting. Jake then asks the Warrior if he knows what Lucifer has waiting for him. Jake says Lucifer holds the final piece of the puzzle. Jake says that Warrior has trusted him to this point, you have reached out your hand to me. Jake says he has given him soul. Jake says Warrior needs to stick his hand inside of Lucifer and find the answer.
Warrior says the trust he has had before has done him no wrong up to this point. Ultimate Warrior says he has no fear and he asks to be let into the room. Jake then opens up the door for him and he goes in. Jake says it’s dark but the Warrior isn’t afraid of the dark. Jake tells him to learn to slide in. Whatever the hell that means. Jake tells him to go for it and he will find the answer in the center of the room. Warrior asks what he is stepping on and Jake says he will shine a little light on him for the big guy.
When the light comes on the room is full of snakes all over the place. Theres a pile in the middle of the room and they are all over the light fixture as well. Going into this I guess the Warrior was told to just walk around them and he will be fine. Jake tells him they are just friends of his and that he will be just fine. Jake tells him they are just snakes and he will be fine. However, being the coked out monster that the Warrior is, he decides to go in “gun blazing” so to speak and starts kicking the shit out of the snakes. Warrior winds up and kicks the hell out of a python and sends it packing.
Anyways, inside the middle of the room there is a chest that has a big python slivering all over it. Warrior goes to open up the box to find out what is in it. Speaking of the python, it looks like the snake he first kicked is still laying in the back of the room on it’s back and it hasn’t moved. Theres a possibility he killed that snake or did some harm to it. Anyways, Warrior goes in and opens up the box in the middle of the room and a king cobra is waiting for him. Warrior stares it right in the eyes and it jumps out and “bites him.” You can clearly tell the cobra was filmed in a different room. Also, the lid ends up shut some how when the Warrior doesn’t touch it after the snake jumped out.
Jake then calls to the Warrior and they show the Warrior reaching his hands out as the Undertakers music starts to play and he is standing over the Ultimate Warrior. For some ungodly reason thr camera is now being shown from the perspective of the Warrior’s eyes. Warrior is reaching at his feet and then he turns around and reaches out to Jake and Jake says that he is a snake and that he should never trust a snake. Warriors hand falls down and he lays there motionless as his eyes, aka the camera, fades to black.
Before the match even starts, the Berzerker takes off his belt and swings it wildly in the ring. Berzerker then goes after Millison and clubs him in the back a few times and it sends Dave down to the mat. Berzerker then picks up Dave and whips him into the ropes and nails him with a big boot. The Berzerker wears me out man. He is constantly moving throughout the entire match and it makes me tired. Berzerker then drops two knees into the chest of Millison and then he crawls over and yells Huss in Fuji’s face.
Berzerker picks up Millison and he gets him in a power slam type move. Berzerker then picks up Millison again and he ties him into the ropes. Berzerker then runs off the ropes and drives his big boot right into the face of Millison. Berzerker frees him from the ropes and he drops him face first into the mat. Berzerker then picks up Millison and just tosses him over the top rope and the poor dude lands on his knees and that looked painful as hell. The ref counts the 10 and the Berzerker wins by count out. Berzerker then runs off the ropes in celebration and then he falls down and does a back bump. This dude is hilarious and entertaining as hell. Your winner by count out….The Berzerker!
Recap:
These recaps are going to be short and sweet because these are just squash matches so nothing really to write home about. Berzerker was in the ring for about 3-4 minutes and between the action and his antics he didn’t stop moving the whole time. Where he got the energy for all that I’ll never know but man he didn’t stop. His offense was always fun to watch for me because he would just beat the brakes off these jobbers and then just toss them out like trash. I also enjoyed the fact that he would win by count out instead of actually pinning his opponent. Just a little nuance that was unique to him and it made him stand out a little bit.
WWF Event Center: Promos by: Legion of Doom Then Mr. Perfect & Coach
Mooney tells us that the entire WWF is enraged at what Jake did to the Warrior. Mooney says the Warrior is fine physically but who know’s mentally. Mooney runs down the card for the August 26th show at the Boston Garden. He announces Warrior will square off with the Undertaker in a casket match. DiBiase will square off against Virgil. Mr. Perfect will battle Bret Hart for the Intercontinental title. The card also features the Legion of Doom squaring off against the Nasty Boys for the Tag Team Titles. We cut to a promo by the Legion of Doom.
Animal says that it is time again for a tag team title match between them and the Nasty Boys. Animal says that they are sure the Nasty Boys are confident but they shouldn’t be because when they get to the ring this time they will be the tag team champions and not the Nasty Boys. Hawk then says that the Nasty Boys are not going to like it. Hawk says it has no affect at all on the two of them because they get what they want. Hawk says they do what they say they are going to do. Hawk says that the Nasty Boys will be looking up at the lights when they pin them for the 3 count.
They go back to Mooney where he says that Bret Hart will be challenging Mr. Perfect for the Intercontinental championship. We then cut to a promo by Mr. Perfect and his manager the Coach.
Coach says that they are both ready for the Hitman. Perfect tells Bret that is simple because there are zillions of people out there who actually believe that he is going to walk in and take away the IC title from Perfect. Perfect says he is the type of guy that likes to beat people at their own game. Perfect says he is going to beat Bret at his own game because he is Perfect.
Match 2: ‘Texas Tornado’ Kerry Von Erich vs. Pete Doherty
Wow I am shocked to see Pete Doherty in the ring here. He ran the house show circuit in the 80s but I don’t ever really remember seeing him in the ring on the syndicated shows. This should be a some what entertaining squash match here. They get in a tie up and Kerry goes behind and drops him to the mat as Pete crawls over to the bottom rope. Pete gets back up and they tie up again. This time Kerry picks up Pete and slams. Pete gets up twice and each time Kerry hits him with an arm drag. Pete rolls to the outside of the game and stalls a little bit. Pete gets back in the ring and they tie up for a third time.
This time Pete pushes Kerry into the corner and we get a clean break from both men. Surprising. Both guys tie up again and this time Kerry goes for a clean break but Pete slaps him in the mid section. Pete then drives Kerry to the other corner and lays in some right hands until Kerry turns him around and lays in the rights in rapid succession. Kerry then calls for the claw hold and gets him stunned. Kerry then releases the claw hold and nails him with the spinning discuss punch and he gets the 1-2-3. Your winner by pinfall….Texas Tornado!
Recap:
Again this was just another squash match. They tied up 3-4 times and then we went to a finish. This is typical for this type of show so there really isn’t much to discuss. It was pretty awesome seeing Pete Doherty out here. He was always entertaining, to a degree, on the house show circuit so not all that bad to see him here on Superstars. Kerry looked good and thats all that matters.
WWF Update:
They head to Gene Okerlund in the production truck where he updates on what has going on in the WWF. Okerlund talks about Bobby Heenan making the accusation that Ric Flair will be joining the WWF once his contract expires. They go back to the promo from the week prior where Heenan is holding the WCW World Heavyweight Title.
Heenan says if you want to compare this belt to the World Wrestling Federation champion Hulk Hogan then it’s like comparing ice cream to horse manure. Heenan then says if you want to compare the man who wears this belt to Hulk Hogan then that would be like comparing ice cream to horse manure. Heenan then says that Hulk Hogan is the WWF champion but the man holding this belt is the Real World Champion….Ric Flair!
Gene says those were the statements of Heenan from last weeks show. This week we have more comments from Bobby Heenan. We go to him where he is holding the WCW World Heavyweight title and cutting a promo:
Heenan says the the big noise we heard last week was not a sonic boom but it was everyones jaws dropping when they heard the news that Ric Flair may be coming to the World Wrestling Federation. Heenan says he may be come the advisor of Ric Flair. Heenan says that Hogan should be extremely concerned because Hogan knows it, Heenan knows it, and everyone knows it that the belt he is holding is the is held by the Real Worlds Champion….Ric Flair!
Gene says “Ric Flair the real worlds champion? That remains to be seen.” Gene then says what really puzzles him is that someone with the great wrestling ability of Ric Flair, why in the world would he need advice from anyone, let alone Bobby Heenan?
Match 3: Skinner vs. Mario Mancini
Vince announces that this is the debut of Skinner on Superstars. He ties up with Mario and he starts clubbing him in the back and kicking him once he gets down on the mat. Skinner then picks up Mario and tosses him over the top rope. Skinner gets out on the apron and jumps down on Mario with a boot to the back. Skinner then lays in the boots to Mario. Skinner picks up Mario and drives him into the guard rail.
During the match they show a promo by Skinner where he starts it off by spitting some tobacco into his can. Skinner says “see the pretty little bird on the window seal. See the pretty little bird, see the pretty little bill. I fed him some crumbs and I fed him some bread then I smashed his pretty little head.” What the hell is going on here. We have Warrior killing snakes and Skinner talking about killing a little bird. Deranged to say the least.
Mario ends up back on the apron and Skinner works him over a little bit while leaning up against the ropes. He clubs him across the chest and Mario falls back down the outside. Skinner then goes out side and throws Mario back into the ring. Skinner kicks him in the back a few times and then he picks him up off the mat. Skinner gets behind Mario and grabs him by the neck and ends up dropping him back first on to his knee. Skinner stands back up and drops him on his knee again. Skinner stands up a third time and drops him with the neck breaker. Skinner goes for the pin and gets the 1-2-3. Your winner by pinfall…..Skinner!
Recap:
This was another shit squash match, this time with the debuting Skinner. HIs offense was nothing but punches and kicks and you could tell right away they had nothing for this guy. His promo during the match was atrocious and really made absolutely no sense. Basically he is saying he can kill a bird but can he do anything in the ring? His finisher was pretty cool but other than that this was terrible.
WWF Event Center: Promos by: Bushwhackers Then I.R.S.
They go back to the Event Center where Mooney is still going over the Boston Garden. Mooney says later on in the show we will hear from the pale destroyer, the Undertaker, but for now we are going to the Bushwhackers. They are preparing for their match against the Beverly Brothers.
Butch says You know matey there is a new tag team here in the WWF and they have a manager named the Coach. Bushwhackers then dub the term the Beverly Sisters. Butch then says or are they the Beverly Brothers. Luke responds that he thinks its the Beverly Sisters. Butch says it doesn’t matter if they are the Beverly Brothers or the Beverly Sisters because they are now in the WWF and they are in the ring with the Bushwhackers and they are going to show them what it is all about.
Mooney says that Bushwhackers plan to show the Beverly Brothers regret their arrival here in the World Wrestling Federation. Mooney then says that Jim Duggan is on a collision course with I.R.S. Mooney then sends it to IRS for his promo.
IRS starts the promo by saying that Duggan should be ashamed of himself by hiding behind the American flag. He says that Duggan is making the people of the World Wrestling Federation believe he is a patriot. IRS then says that Duggan is like a lot of Americans and thats nothing but a stinky, lousy, tax cheat. IRS says the time has come where he can no longer write off his board as a tax deduction. IRS says that Duggan is now dealing with him and he says what he says goes around here and now Duggan is going to get audited. IRS says he is not going to like it one little bit.
Mooney says that IRS is determined to close Jim Duggan’s account once and for all here in the World Wrestling Federation.
Match 4: Legion of Doom vs. Dwayne Gill/Barry Hardy
The LOD will get their shot against Gillberg. I guess we know who won’t be first on this one. The match starts out with LOD attacking both guys Animal throws out Hardy while Hawk gorilla presses Gill and just drops him to the outside. Hardy gets on the apron and gets back in the ring with Animal. Animal whips Hardy into the ropes and hits him with a nice looking drop kick. Animal then picks up Hardy and hits him with a belly to belly suplex.
Animal tags in Hawk and he comes off the middle rope and punches Hardy in the face. Hawk then drops a jumping fist drop. Hawk then picks up Hardy and hits him with a chop. Meanwhile, the Nasty Boys & Jimmy Hart show up in the promo box while the action is going on on the right side of the screen. Vince says in 1 week they will be meeting the LOD and they are looking pretty good. Jimmy Hart says “are you kidding me?” Saggs then says that they are looking pretty good but they aren’t nasty. Knobbs then says in 1 week it will be their last trip to Nastyville and they are leaving without the belts.
We come back to the action with Hawk hitting Gill with a shoulder block. Hawk then picks up Gill and hits him with a gut wrench suplex. Hawk picks up Gill again and snap mares him over. Hawk gets Gill in a reverse chin lock while he drives his knee into the back of Gill. Hawk releases the hold and punches Gill on the top of his head. Hawk picks up Gill and he tags in Animal while Animal gets in the ring and nails Gill with an elbow.
Animal then picks up Gill and throws him into the ropes and nails him with a power slam. Animal then hits a European uppercut to Gill. Animal then grabs the head of Gill and wrenches his neck. Animal tags in Hawk as Animal puts Gill on the top of his shoulders. Hawk comes off the top rope and nails Gill with the Doomsday Device. Hawk gets the 1-2-3. Your winners by pinfall…..Legion of Doom!
Recap:
This was a somewhat entertaining squash match because the LOD just didn’t give a crap about their opponents. They beat the brakes off both guys and it was always awesome seeing the Doomsday Device finish. It looked painful and it doesn’t look like a fun time. These guys sold really well for the LOD and they looked ready for their tag title match in a week at SummerSlam.
SummerSlam Report:
Gene lets us know that we are a week away from SummerSlam only available on pay-per-view. Gene tells us all to make the call now to our cable company so we don’t miss out. Kids these days would have no idea what he is even talking about. Gene runs through the crowd where he talks about the match made in Heaven. He says nuptials turn to napalm when we go to the match made in Hell between Hogan/Warrior vs. Triangle of Terror. Gene says the medical reports indicate that the Warrior is okay but you still can’t help but wonder the condition of the Ultimate Warrior. Gene says we have comments this week from Sgt. Slaughter and company plus Warriors tag team partner…Hulk Hogan.
Hogan says that ever since Wrestlemania 7 he and Slaughter have been through hell and back. He says that is why at SummerSlam this match has to be named the Match Made in Hell. Hogan calls out Sid and says he better call it down the middle or if he doesn’t then he will just be another casualty of war. Hogan then says that the way Slaughter and company are basking in their glory that they are acting like they already won at SummerSlam. Hogan says the one thing they don’t realize is that, even though Warrior got bit by the snake, he won’t be injured and he will be there because he stole all of the energy and toxins from the poison. He said the Warrior is going to be bigger and stronger than ever. Hogan then says that with the Hogan and the Warriors uniting as one they will be the strongest force in the universe. Whatcha gonna do when Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior run wild on you?!?!
They then go to a promo by Sgt. Slaughter, Gen. Adnan, and Col. Mustafa. Slaughter says “well, well, well Ultimate puke you got bit.” Slaughter says SummerSlam is right around the corner and he questions the strength of Warrior. Slaughter then asks Hogan and says what is he going to do when his partner is going to be laying around wishing he wasn’t there. Slaughter then calls out Sid and tells him he just wants him to stay out of his way and let him do what he wants. Slaughter Rules and Hogan is finally going to Judgement Day because the he and his trio are finally going to destroy Hulkamania once and for all.
They go back to Gene Okerlund where he runs through the crowd. We got Bret vs. Perfect for the IC title, LOD vs. Nasty Boys for the Tag Team Titles. We also have the Million Dollar Title on the line between DiBiase and Virgil. We then head to a couple of promos by DiBiase then Virgil
DiBiase says that SummerSlam is a week away and that the buck stops here. Hey all did you know that SummerSlam is a week away? Yeah me either. Anyways, Ted says that Virgil reserved a black stretched limo to take him to SummerSlam. Ted says that Virgil may show up in a black limo but he is going out in a yellow cab. Then we got the iconic DiBiase laugh.
Virgil tells DiBiase that he is going to take the train to SummerSlam. Virgil says after he beats DiBiase he is going to tip DiBiase’s limo driver so nicely that he is going to take him down to broadway while Ted and Sherri are taking the cab.
Gene tells us that Boss Man and Mountie will battle in a jail house match where the loser spends the night in the slammer. We then head over to a promo by the Mountie & Jimmy Hart.
Jimmy tells Mountie that SummerSlam is one week away and that they are going to prove to the world that the only law and order in the WWF is the Mountie law and order. Hart also tells us that Boss Man is going to spend a night in jail. Mountie says he is tired of Boss Man running from him but his running days are coming to an end. Mountie says that Boss Man’s hard time serving days are just beginning. The Mountie says he always gets his man and that Boss Man is going to be put in jail.
Boss Man says SummerSlam is a week away and that there is no more chance for parole, no more chances for appeal, and that stays of execution are up. Boss Man says it’s going to make him feel real good to make the Mountie feel real bad. Boss Man says that the Mountie is going to jail…punk!
Gene then runs through the crowd some more and announces that Bushwhackers will have Andre in their corner when they take on the Natural Disasters. We have Greg Valentine vs. Irwin. A six man tag between Davey Boy/Kerry/The Dragon vs. Power N Glory/Warlord. Gene tells us one more time that it is one week away and that we need to contact our pay per view providers.
Match 5: Jimmy Snuka vs. Brooklyn Brawler
The match starts out with the Brawler attacking Snuka from behind while he adjusts his knee pads. Brawler nails him 4-5 times in the back and then rakes his eyes. Brawler then hits the ropes and hits Snuka with a shoulder block. Brawler then hits the ropes again while Snuka drops down then does a leap frog over Brawler. Brawler is probably blown up just hitting the ropes this much. After the leap frog Snuka nails the Brawler with a chop.
Brawler gets up to his feet and charges at Snuka again and Snuka does a leap frog and the Brawler goes flying out of the ring. Brawler gets up to his feet and drags Snuka outside with him. Brawler goes for a right hand but Snuka blocks it and hits his own right hand and follows that up with 3-4 chops. Snuka throws Brawler back into the ring and when Snuka is getting back into the ring himself, the Brawler hits the ropes but Snuka drops down again and ends up hitting Brawler with a hip toss. Brawler gets up and Snuka body slams him.
Brawler gets up after the slam and gets met with a clotheslines by Snuka. Snuka gets brawler in a head lock and punches him in the face and then follows that up with a chop. Snuka whips Brawler into the ropes but Brawler reverses it and goes for a clothesline but Snuka dunks under neath and ends up hitting the Brawler with a flying head butt. Snuka picks the Brawler up and hits a jumping head butt on him. Snuka picks up the Brawler and hits him with a back breaker. Snuka then climbs to the top rope and nails the Brawler with the Superfly Splash and gets the 1-2-3. Your winner by pinfall…..Jimmy Snuka!
Recap:
This match was short and sweet and we got to see the awesome Superfly Splash. You can see it 100x and it never gets hold. Just a really awesome move. The poor Brawler spent the whole match running the ropes so he had to be tired after all of that. Just a typical squash match here and nothing special, like the rest of this card.
Match 6: Mr. Perfect vs. Mike Daniels
The match starts out with Perfect and Daniels staring each other down. Perfect sticks his finger in the face of Daniels and Daniels pushes it away. This pisses Perfect off and he ends up slapping the taste out of Daniels mouth. He follows that up with a right hand as well. Perfect then takes Daniels and throws him out of the ring through the middle rope. Perfect heads out after him and throws him back first into the apron. Perfect then lays in two chops to the chest of Daniels. Perfect gets back in the ring and the ref counted the 10. Your winner by count out….Mr. Perfect!
After the match Perfect gets on the mic. Perfect says SummerSlam, SummerSlam. He then calls out Bret Hart and says that everyone thinks he is the chosen one that has enough talent to take the Intercontinental belt. Perfect says this will be the greatest match in WWF history. Perfect says he is going to show Bret Hart, and everyone else, that he is absolutely Perfect.
Recap:
This was less than a minute long. I can only assume it was done to protect Perfect going into his match with Bret. Perfect was probably pretty banged up here so they didn’t want him to do to much. The promo afterwards was pretty damn good and got the point across. Other than that, there is really nothing here.
WWF Event Center: Promos By: Virgil Then the Undertaker/Paul Bearer
Mooney says that the WWF returns to the Boston Garden on September 28th. Mooney says that Ted DiBiase will be facing Virgil and questions whether or not the Million Dollar Belt will be on the line. We head to a promo by Virgil.
Virgil asks DiBiase if he looks like a guy that is scared. Virgil says he is confident as the day is long. Virgil says at SummerSlam he is going to have a jeweler ringside because he is going to take 11 inches out of the belt so it can fit around his 29 inch waste line. What the hell is this guy talking about? Virgil tells DiBiase if he wants it to come and get it because he will defend the belt any time, any where, any place because it is his belt and it is all the good Americans belt. Virgil says he will be there home boy. What a shit promo by a shit performer.
Mooney says that the Warrior will face off against the Undertaker in a casket match. We then head to a promo by Undertaker and Paul Bearer.
Bearer tells the Warrior that we are going back to where it all began and thats the casket. Bearer says it all comes back to the casket. He said it is the casket that Undertaker sealed him in a few weeks ago. It is also the casket Jake made him get in a few weeks ago. Bearer says he knows that the Warrior is still scared even though he may be telling his little Warriors otherwise. Taker then says when he seals the casket this time around there won’t be anything to save.
Mooney says after what we saw earlier it is clear that Undertaker is looking close the lid on the Ultimate Warrior once and for all. Mooney then runs through more of the card at the Boston Garden on September 28th.
Show Closing:
The show closes with Vince, Savage, and Piper running through who is going to be on the show next week. We will have the Natural Disasters in action, Bret, Sgt. Slaughter will also be in action. They will give us an update on the physical condition of the Ultimate Warrior. They will also have a special interview with Sid Justice.
Show Recap:
The only reason I did this show was for the first 5 minutes. The segment between Warrior and Jake was well worth sitting through the rest of this show. That opening segment is something else and is one of the crazier things the WWF did during this time. I have no clue what the Warrior got for doing this segment but he didn’t get enough because there is no way any normal person is going to be okay with doing that. The bite and everything after it is a little cheesy but there isn’t much more you can expect with doing something like that and making it look good in early 91.
The matches themselves were all squashes so there is absolutely nothing really watch here. The promos during the Event Center and the SummerSlam report kind of sucked and didn’t really do much. You always hope to get a good who cut that great promo during this shows but there wasn’t one of them on this episode. Again the matches aren’t watch attracted me to the show, it was the first 5 minutes. That was well worth the time invested in this review. Other than that, you can turn the show off after that.
It’s been nice doing one of these Television Rewinds again so maybe look forward to some more in the future. I am not sure whats on deck but there is always content to be made and posted so please stick around and enjoy the work we are putting on here at CrazyMax. Until next time, enjoy the reading!
