The WWE Raw Report RETURNS!!! 10/12/15

RAW PRE-SHOW NOTES 10/12/15

After a six week hiatus, the WWE Raw Report returns. As many of the “insiders” may know, I’ve been dealing with some health issues that have been keeping me sidelined from the report over the last month and a half, and quite frankly Raw hasn’t really been lighting the world on fire to urge my return to writing this review. To be honest, I’ve found most of the last six weeks some of the worst TV from WWE Raw. Many of the weeks were simply DVR and fast forward material, and I can honestly say am GLAD I didn’t have to cover a few of these shows over the last 6 weeks. I’ve read that some of the shows were near or at all-time low ratings, and to be honest I am not surprised based on the crap we have been fed since SummerSlam.

HOWEVER, the Raw Report was the most read piece on the site week in and week out for 20 months straight and several people have inquired about the report returning… So I am back, here it is, my health is under control (for now), and let’s hope that things turn around with the writing of the show!!!

– The Pre-Show this week is the usual hoo-ha with Stanford, Otunga and Graves. They sell the Rollins and Kane issues like they’re interesting or something. I respect everything Glen Jacobs has done in his career, but he has about ZERO business headlining World Title matches on PPV at this point. The storyline also seems to be about as over as a fart in church based on the fans response (or lack thereof).

– Ziggler prepared to accept Cena’s open challenge last week, which caught my ear from the kitchen last week. I was actually hoping for Ambrose but Dolph would have been suitable. Unfortunately, when I returned to the living room I found that New Day had beat down Ziggler and Raw was headlined by BIG E… #RATINGS!!! Nevermind the fact that Ziggler stepped up to accept the challenge and got beat down dead in a matter of a couple seconds before he was dragged out by New Day. With Cena leaving after HITC, I assume Ziggler will get the belt by then based on “rumors”, though I still back Ambrose personally… I’m guessing Ziggler gets it and drops it to Rusev though. Or maybe they skip the middle man and go straight to Rusev.

– UMMMMMMM, WWE acknowledges Rusev and Lana are engaged…. I guess TMZ reported it. They even show a picture…. I guess we’re moving on from all this stupidity…. HOPEFULLY… Ziggler with a backstage interview, blows off the Lana/Rusev stuff like a forgotten angle, and moves on to focus on Raw. So much for Lana’s but babyface match. This is for the better though, she lost ALL her heat as a face.

– Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman tonight. I think this is my first report since Strowman’s debut. Clip from last week’s Raw with 6-man, Reigns pins Harper. Wyatt vs. Reigns in the Cell, which should be cool if it’s like their other matches.

WWE Raw from Chicago, IL 10/12/15

– We kick off Raw with HHH calling in to the program where Corporate Kane is taking the call. Trips and Steph are waiting for a flight and not in Chicago so Kane is in charge. Steph sounds worried about Kane being in control, but Kane assures HHH that he will be professional while the Authority is making their way to the building. Kane immediately books himself vs. Seth Rollins in a Lumberjack Match so that Seth can’t run away…

Cue opening video.

Opening Segment: Dean Ambrose And Randy Orton / New Day Segment

– Dean Ambrose to the ring to kick things off. This guys is the meat of their fucking show whether they want to accept it or not. Dean knows the Authority is running late tonight, but he’s looking for a fight…

Cue RANDY ORTON… Orton is super over, especially after he puts over Chicago. Randy just heard that it’s Ambrose & Orton vs. Harper & Strowman at Hell in A Cell. Ambrose is cool with Orton as his partner, but instructs Randy that he needs to follow his lead. Dean tells Randy to follow his lead. Orton explains that he was already winning titles when Ambrose was dreaming og being a superstar. Ambrose questions trusting Orton, Randy says he can’t trust himself…. THEN IT HAPPENS….

DON’T YOU DARE BE SOUR!!!!!

NEW DAY make their way out… New Day are the stars, why are Dean and Randy talking about the Wyatts??? New Day talk about taking out Cena, the Dudleys, and Ziggler last week. Nobody has ever done that. The Shield never did that. Legacy, The Authority, Evolution, Rated RKO, never did it. They then mock Randy and ask him how many team she’s been in.

Kane pops up on the big screen and makes the match New Day vs. Orton & Ambrose, for right now!

— Commercial Break —

1. Dean Ambrose & Randy Orton vs. New Day (w/Woods)

Orton and Ambrose clear the ring and we take a break just after the match starts. Back from break, Orton ails a Slingshot Suplex. Ambrose tags in and goes to work on Big E. A couple of tags by the faces back and forth, it looks like Big E may have Orton in trouble but the faces just continue to dominate and hint a little dissension by tagging themselves in. Orton and Ambrose have fun stomping down Big E before arguing with each other. Kofi tries to rush them, but they catch Kofi and fling him to the floor to maintain control as we head back to break.

Back from another break, we learn that Woods distracted Orton to allow Big E to get the advantage. Now it’s New Day working over Orton. Woods with the trombone all over the place while Orton take the beat down. Big E with an abdominal stretch. Big E tosses Randy to the floor for Woods to take some cheap shots. Big E charges Orton on the apron with a spear, but Orton moves and E goes flying through the ropes to the floor.

Hot tag to Ambrose! Dean with the corner bulldog on Big E, a suicide dive on Kofi. Big E to the floor, another suicide dive on both men!!! Back in the ring Dean with the flying elbow on E for 2. Ambrose goes for Dirty Deeds but Woods distracts and Big E counters with a belly to belly…. Ambrose tags back to Orton as Kofi tags in. Orton tries the suspension DDT but Woods holds Kofi by his feet, so Dean with a suicide dive on Xavier. And Orton lands the suspension DDT on Kingston! Looking for an RKO on Kofi. Dean Ambrose prevents Big E from interfering, but Kofi shoves Orton into Ambrose and rolls Randy up for the pin in 17:52. New….Day Wins.

This wasn’t bad, it was just your average match. Nothing spectacular to see here.

— Commercial Break —

– With only 2 weeks until Hell in a Cell and neither of the main eventers on the show, we get a video package of Lesnar vs. Taker feud. This is the short filler segment of the hour anyway, but I don’t think this will help contribute to any buys. I just can’t get really into things when the guys involved barely make any appearances and don’t continue the story line on the TV program. But I blame the writers and the “people in charge”.

– Divas action appears to be next, with Nikki Bella no less. Oh joy, how I have forgotten the wonderfulness of Team Bella. All sorts of sarcasm there.

— Commercial Break —

2. Nikki Bella (w/Brie & Foxy) vs. Naomi (w/Sasha & Tamina)

So before we get this crap match, they show us a video package of Sasha Banks vs. Bayley Iron Man Match. Yeah, that’s a great way to get this shit match over. Naomi with all of her usual “flashy” moves before running into a Spinebuster from Nikki. Meanwhile, the crowd just chants for Sasha. Nikki controls with a chinlock and some basics. After watching matches like Banks vs. Bayley it just exposes how bad these other girls are. Nikki finally misses a charge and bumps to the floor. Naomi with a sloppy dive over the top onto Nikki. Brie gets on the mic and makes the crowd chant “We Want Sasha” to throw Naomi off her game, but Banks knocks Brie off the announce table. But back in the ring it’s Nikki with the Rack Attack in 4:53. This was CRAP. I have full faith this division will be huge, but not until these 30 something hookers step aside.

Cena’s Open Challenge is next.

— Commercial Break —

– Paige has been deemed the “Most Unconventional” Wrestler by WWE fans… It’s sponsored by Payday…. So we get a short Paige interview backstage to promote the Payfay candy bar… Well, that was worth it… Love that Divas Revolution…

It’s Open Challenge time and Cena gets the expected Chicago heat. And it wouldn’t be Cena without a…. PROMO! Cena sucks the fans asses for their noise. He promises the fans excellence tonight. Wow, that’s bold. The opponent tonight is….

DOLPH ZIGGLER……

3. U.S. Champion John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler

Hopefully we don’t get a Rusev DQ shit finish or something here. Some feeling out to begin. Cena tries a Steamboat armdrag. The armdrag succeeded, the Steamboat part not so much… Ziggler powders because the fans are more interested in a wedding proposal in the crowd. Cena acknowledges the proposal TWICE to try and get the fan’s interest back into the match. So far this has been a whole lot of nothing as we head into the break.

Back from break, Cena escapes a Ziggler Sleeper hold but Dolph drops him with a neckbreaker for 2. Ziggler drops 9 elbows, but misses the 10th. Cene retaliates with his shoulderblocks and whatnot, setting up for the five knuckle, but Ziggler jumps up and lands a standing dropkick for 2. Cena comes back with an AA attempt, Ziggler counters into a roll up for 2. Cena locks in the STF, but Dolph escapes and locks back on the Sleeper. I’m still waiting for the “excellence” to begin. Cena turns the Sleeper into an AA, but Ziggler rolls to the floor like a early 90’s WWF Coliseum Video match.

Cena drags Dolph back inside for 2. Cena tries for the top rope AA, but Ziggler counters with a top rope DDT for a near fall. Ziggler stomps his foot, totally channeling Sweet Chin Music!!! But Cena catches his foot and plows Ziggler down with a clothesline. Ziggler blocks an STF and hits another dropkick. But Cena catches a body block attempt and turns it into an AA…. But DOLPH COUNTERS IN MID AIR WITH A FAMOUSER!!! 1………….2…………..NEAR FALL.

Ziggler comes at Cena, but John locks in the STF again. Dolph makes the ropes for the break. Both men wind up back on the top rope. Ziggler knocks Cena off and dives onto John, but Cena does the roll through looking for the AA. Dolph escapes and nails the SUPERKICK 1…………2……………NO! It’s Trading Punches time. Dolph blocks an AA, Cena blocks the Zig Zag…. Ziggler with a HEAD BUTT and the ZIG ZAG!!!!! 1……………..2…………..THRRRR—NOOOOO. Cena kicks out as Dolph is in disbelief. Dolph goes towards Cena and walks right into a random AA that ends it…. What a pffffff finish. 17:39. What a waste.

Some of the false finishes at the end were ok, but the crowd seemed to lack a little and Cena has had WAY better matches in recent months. Like the opening match, this one wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t anything special. And the finish sucked.

– Backstage, Kane gets a call from HHH who is in flight to the arena. I guess we’re supposed to pretend like this is 1984 and there are no means of internet capabilities for billionaires in flight because the Authority still have no clue what’s going on at Raw. Kane says Raw is going great. That was worthwhile.

— Commercial Break —

4. The Dudley Boyz vs. The Ascension

The Ascension get the jobber intro already in the ring but manage to take control of D-Von to begin the match. Hot tag to Bubba after a minute or so. He does his shtick and takes out both guys. Dudleys shout out to the Road Warriors with a DOOMS DAY DEVICE (the original 3D)… and then the Dudleys hit their 3D afterwards to grab the win in maybe 2:30.

Dudleys get the squash win on the way to Hell in a Cell where they challenge New Day for the titles.

— Commercial Break —

5. Neville & Cesaro vs. Sheamus & King Barrett

Somehow Stardust has evaporated from this Neville & Barrett feud thingy. Neville takes it to Barrett to begin things. We move on to Sheamus vs. Cesaro. Sheamus winds up on the apron and tries for the slingshot shoulderblock but runs into the European uppercut from Cesaro. Cesaro then lays out Barrett off the apron, and Sheamus yet again… Cesaro then presses Neville outside onto both opponents. Back inside, Neville rolls up Sheamus but gets knocked into the ropes. While the ref pulls Sheamus back, Barrett sneaks in the BULL HAMMER on Neville and Sheamus covers for the east win in 3:48.

This match barely even got started. Gotta save time for that Lumberjack match.

– We get a video package of Braun Strowman. Just another instance of Vince trying to use someone with talent like Bray Wyatt as a vehicle to get over another “big monster”. Reigns vs. Strowman is next.

— Commercial Break —

Roman Reigns / Wyatt Family Promo

– Roman Reigns cuts a promo to explain his feud with Wyatt, but the fan’s “WHAT?” chants seem to throw Reigns off. This goes on far too long. WAY too long. HUGE BORING CHANTS. I couldn’t agree more. This promo won’t end and NOBODY wants to hear it. If it wasn’t so mind-numbing it’d almost be funny. After like 5 minutes of hell it finally ends… And out come the Wyatt Family… for…. ANOTHER PROMO.

So now we get a Bray Wyatt promo. Well I’ll say this much, at least Bray can deliver a promo, Reigns sounded like he was trying to remember his lines. Reigns responds to Wyatt and the the Family continue their way to ringside for the match.

— Commercial Break —

6. Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman

The story here goes like this… Strowman just overpowers Reigns…. Roman keeps fighting back but Strowman just takes him back down with another power move. This goes on for like 5 minutes. Reigns comes back with some clotheslines that rock Strowman and send him into the corner where Reigns lands…. more clotheslines. Reigns can’t get Braun up for the Samoan Drop and Strowman floors Roman. Crowd is bored, but this is what Vince likes so F-U WWE Universe.. Reigns on the floor pounds on Braun to drae him across the middle rope. Reigns tries the apron dropkick and “connects”. Reigns tries a second one but jumps right into a Strowman clothesline that sends Roman down on the floor. The fight goes to the floor and the announce table. Strowman is rocked so Luke Harper comes down. Reigns comes flying off the steel steps with a SUPERMAN PUNCH on Harper… And another flying SUPERMAN PUNCH sends Strowman backwards over the announce table and Reigns picks up a count out win in 7:48.

Strowman is pissed. All three Wyatts rush the ring, but Reigns exits. Wyatt calls Reigns to reenter the ring as the crowd chants “Husky Harris”. Bray drops to his knees and tells Reigns to follow the buzzards, but Roman reaches in and slaps Wyatt before leaving.

– Backstage, HHH calls Kane again. Wow, what timing. Trips just happens to call Kane almost as if it’s right on cue. HHH has bad reception but he’s on his way to the arena. Kane tries to tell HHH who Seth’s opponent is but that shitty reception ruins it. Finally Kane makes himself clear and the phone hangs up… Whatever.

I’m starting to regret this… lol

— Commercial Break —

7. Ryback vs. Rusev (w/Summer Rae)

We’re reminded of last week when Summer proposed to Ru-Ru. Even though it’s been broke that Rusev is engaged to Lana, Summer is somehow still with Rusev for this match. This makes NO SENSE. This match is just two big guys beating on each other hard. Ryback’s shoulder eats the ring post and Rusev works it over. Ryback fights back and lands a shoulderblock and back suplex. Ryback looks for the Meathook AND CONNECTS! Rusev escapes Shellshock and kicks Ryback’s face off… Rusev with a roll up but the ref catches him using the ropes for leverage. Rusev charges Ryback in the corner, but misses, Ryback with Shellshock ends it in 3:05.

– After the match we get Summer on the mic. She wants the whole world to see what she thinks of Rusev. She shows a picture of Lana & Rusev engaged. Summer is pissed that she had to find out online and dresses down Rusev as a whipped little boy. She calls Rusev a lot of things, including a bastard, and slaps his face. Rusev is looking pissy as Summer stomps off.

— Commercial Break –

8. IC Champion Kevin Owens vs. Kalisto (w/Sin Cara)

Kalisto with some spinny fun early but Owens takes over with some nasty offense, clotheslining Kalisto’s face off and then suplexing him ribs first across the top rope. Owens backdrops Kalisto to the floor and teases a dive. Owens fakes a dive, indy style, to draw heat, but instead it gets a pop. Kalisto takes over and drives outside onto Owens in what looks to be what should have been a powerbomb on the apron, but they screw it up and he just drops Kalisto on the ground. Back inside, Kalisto with a springboard body block, a hand spring back elbow, the huracan rana while Owens is on his knees, and then a flippity spinny DDT gets a near fall… Kalisto gets sent into the corner but boots his way out. Kalisto tries a flying rana, but Owens catches him and POWERBOMBS HIM TO HELL… STIFF! Owens wins in 3:48.

Owens has Ryback at Hell in a Cell.

— Commercial Break –

9. Charlotte & Becky Lynch (w/Natalya) vs. Brie Bella & Alicia Fox (w/Nikki)

WHYYYYY? These Bellas won’t go away. Two on the same show? We’ve got Paige on commentary and Natalya with Charlotte & Becky. Brie takes a beat down and gets chopped to hell by Charlotte. Charlotte with a sppear on Brie and looks for the Figure 8, but Foxy distracts. Then Paige & Natalya get into it on the floor and Brie lays out Natalya. Charlotte gets distracted, Brie takes over, lands a missile dropkick, and gets the win. Hooray another Bella wins. Foxy didn’t even tag in. Yeah, that’s how you start a revolution right there. Match went 3:05.

– Backstage, it’s Kane on the phone with HHH & Stephanie. Apparently the Authority aren’t going to make it to the show. Kane FINALLY tells them that he is the one facing Rollins tonight. HHH tells him that Kane cannot wrestle Rollins. HHH tells Kane he can pick ANYONE but Kane to wrestle Seth for the main event tonight. Kane laughs and says he understand.

— Commercial Break —

– Seth Rollins is backstage talking to Big Show. He wants to make sure Big Show is on his side since nobody else is. Big Show laughs off Seth’s friendship. Seth runs into Kane next. Kane informs Seth that he will not be Seth’s opponent tonight, but that he will find a suitable replacement.

– Apparently they have nothing else to fill the time with, so we get more Brock vs. Taker video package junk. Brock will be here next week I assume since he’s on the Steve Austin Podcast. I’d imagine Taker would show up for the final show before the PPV, but ya never know with these guys…

– The Lumberjacks make their way down to the ring, including Sheamus with the briefcase. Michael Cole makes sure to say that Rollins can’t wrestle CORPORATE Kane. The match is next.

— Commercial Break —

Seth out first… And his opponent is…. Demon Kane. What suspense.

LUMBERJACK MATCH
10. Demon Kane vs. WWE Champion Seth Rollins

Seth tries to run but the Lumberjacks won’t let him. Kane whips Seth all around the ring. The Lumberjacks continue to keep Seth from fleeing. Seth knocks Kane to the floor but the heel lumberjacks are afraid to touch Kane. Seth dives out onto Kane, but Kane catches him and continues control back in the ring. Seth takes over, hitting some decent stuff for some near falls but Kane keeps kicking out. Seth blocks a chokeslam, but Kane with a Superplex on Rollins. To prevent Kane from covering, New Day pulls Kane outside, and a wild brawl ensues with all the Lumberjacks… The heels eventually all wind up in the ring beating down Kane, but Kane comes back. All the baby face Lumberjacks recover and brawl with the heel Lumberjacks away from ringside… This leads to Rollins coming back to go for the win, but Kane hooks him in the Tombstone and picks up the much needed for the storyline win in 8:19.

KANE WINS BY GAWD, and Raw ends immediately.

That’s all folks!