The ghouls and goblins are behind us, All Hallows Eve has passed us by, and yours truly Bobby “The Brain” Mayo back at you with another edition of the WWE Raw Report.
All comments below are my opinion and do not necessarily reflect the other writers here at Crazy Max. You are welcome to share your thoughts by replying to my review. I’d appreciate it!
WWE RAW PRESHOW BULLET POINTS
- Raw is Glasgow. I won’t bore you with an elaborate and detailed review as I usually try and accomplish. With Raw being on a tape delay this week the results are already out there and I won’t insult your intelligence like the Raw preshow gang by pretending it hasn’t happened yet.
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THE WWE RAW REPORT
November 7, 2016 – GLASGOW, SCOTLAND
– STEPHANIE MCMAHON AND TEAM RAW –
Raw kicks off with Stephanie to the ring to bring out the entire Team Raw for this year’s Survivor Series. We already know four of the five men. Jericho and Owens are out and do their usual thing. Jericho looks no worse for wear after getting buzz sawed by Sin Cara, who subsequently likely won’t have a job here in a few days.
Braun Strowman won the Battle Royal last week to earn his spot in the match. Roman Reigns receives the hate from the fans even in Glasgow. Owens is Universal champion, Reigns is universally hated.
We learn that the fifth and final member of team Raw is Seth Rollins. No big shock there since Seth had nobody else to work at the PPV.
There’s a lot of back and forth shit being said and the guys fight among each other. Steph books a Fatal Five Way between all the members for the main event tonight. WWWWHHHHHYYYYYYY?
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Well fuck me, Sin Cara in the next match. I guess he’s still got a job, for now.
– RICH SWANN / SIN CARA VS. BRIAN KENDRICK / NOAM DAR –
This would be Dar’s Raw debut. Since this is taped I won’t bother you with the anticlimactic details. Dar is over as fuck in his homeland. Swann pins Kendrick again in 7:30. Swann and Cara get the win.
Post match Kendrick cuts a promo and blames Dar. Kendrick attacks Dar. Noam fights back with a enzuigiri to Brian’s face.
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To the Goldberg / Lesnar. Video that is. These guys will fight at Survivor Series and the crowd response should be interesting.
* Backstage segment with Stephanie and Sami Zayn. They announce Sami Zayn vs. Rusev tonight with the winner getting a shot at Dolph Ziggler’s Intercontinental Title at Survivor Series.
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To the ring. New Day is all Scottish tonight and shit. Doing the Braveheart thing, sporting bagpipes and kilts. Woods introduces the Scottish cousin of Francesca II, Agnes the bagpipes. New Day is with their Survivor Series team, which includes Enzo & Cass, Sheamus & Cesaro, Gallows & Anderson, and… ready for this one… The Golden Truth?
Before the New Day part there was also some shit from Sheamus, but everyone else put him in his place because he sucks. Cesaro even calls him the Red Rooster and struts. Sheamus wants to quit the Survivor Series match. Anderson and Gallows also want out. Big E quotes Braveheart lines and gets over. FREEEEDOM!!!!! Sheamus finally gives in and joins the Series team.
Gallows and Anderson seem to be in but they call all the other teams jokes. They promise to stab their team in the back. Well that makes no fucking sense whatsoever.
This promo segment was LONG AS FUCK.
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The long promo takes us into a non title match with New Day taking on Gallows and Anderson
– NEW DAY VS. GALLOWS/ANDERSON –
As I said, non-title. New Day going to keep their skirts on for this match. It’s Kofi and Big E wrestling, Xavier on the floor. New Day set up for their finisher but Gallows boots Big E from the ring. Anderson with a spinebuster to Kofi. Magic Killer ends it on Kofi. Crowd was fucking dead for this. Gallows and Anderson get the win when it doesn’t matter.
* To the Jeri-KO. Backstage they try to get Braun Strowman to work with them in the Fatal Five Way. I’ll pass.
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– GOLDEN TRUTH VS. THE SHINING STARS –
Even more tag team ‘fun’. I feel for Primo and Epico, I really do. They get the win here and I don’t now if this puts them in the Survivor Series match or if Golden Truth keep the spot even though they lost. This shit is confusing, all four of these guys could be utilized better than this shit.
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– LADIES ‘TEAM RAW’ REVEALED –
So out come the hookers on parade. We know from last week Charlotte is the captain. That makes sense. We also learned that Bayley and Nia Jax would be part of team Raw. Adding to the team are Alicia Fox to play jobber for the contest. And last but not least Sasha Banks is announced for the group. Dana Brooke gets left out. Bwahahahaha. Ugly bitch.
No Emmalina in sight but I’m sure she’s still ‘Coming Soon’.
Crowd doesn’t give a shit about this segment and chant for Becky Lynch. Not sure if this was edited for TV and it was worse i person but the way it was reported online was that the fans hijacked this segment.
* We learn that Setphanie McMahon will be on Smackdown tomorrow and that Shane and Daniel Bryan will be on Raw next week. The draft was fucking pointless people. I haven’t seen this much crossover since I watched the LOGO channel.
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– BAYLEY / SASHA BANKS / FOXY VS. CHARLOTTE / NIA JAX / DANA BROOKE –
So the men get a fatal five way and the ladies do a 6-woman tag. Lots of thought put into this ‘quality’ program. The baby face team wins when Bayley pins the champ Charlotte. Woooo.
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– SAMI ZAYN VS. RUSEV –
Lana looks all hooker-y in her pink plaid outfit and her tits hanging out. I’ve read online that Lana referred to Scotland as America. I don’t know if they edited it out or I missed it. I don’t care either, she’s slutty hot and can call me whatever she wants.
This match is to determine who will meet Dolph Ziggler for the Intercontinental Title at Survivor Series. Zayn over Rusev, who is now just a punching bag for everyone. I would have rather Zayn just came out as a surprise at Series. This takes a little of the starch out of the interest for me.
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– OWENS VS. JERICHO VS. REIGNS VS. ROLLINS VS. STROWMAN –
Fatal 5 way, first fall wins. Not even an elimination match in light of the Survivor Series. Lots of thought put into this match. #ratings. Corey Graves is determined to get over the term ‘Abominable STROW-MAN’. At least he’s trying. Spots going on everywhere. Finish sees Reigns smash Owens with a Superman Punch and KO falls on top of his best friend Jericho. Owens unknowingly pins Jericho to get the win.
The best friend angle continues to paint it’s story and the champ gets a pin fall. Honestly I thought this would end up being Strowman getting a win with the other four currently entangled in a feud of some sort. Happy Owens won instead.
That ends Raw.
