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RAW Pre-Show 9/15/14
– In the studios with Booker, Saxton, and A-Ry. Hard sell for Night of Champions time, only $9.99. Of course, if you are watching this then you already have the Network so it’s really moot…
– Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins is set for Raw… I thought this was a NoC match? Or at least that’s what the interwebs has told me…
– Merch shill time. Buy one shirt, get one free… So says the man. The cost for one, to me, is like paying for two.
– Cena/Lesnar hype for tonight. Video of last week’s Raw promo with Cena and Heyman. Curious to see what these guys do tonight. The wirters/Vince have really been dropping the ball on the story arc’s on the go home shows, they haven’t really hit a home run in a while, so we’ll see.
– This Bella Twins thing is still second on the bill as far as importance of promoting. I use the word “importance” very loosely. Damn you “Total Divas”…
– We take a look at the recent stuff between Reigns and Orton, both men are splitting away into other matches/feuds. Discussion on both guys to keep them both over.
– A quick look back at last week’s Smackdown, Mark Henry beats Rusev in Arm Wrestling. Tonight on Raw Mark Henry will “Rally America”… Whatever that means… Booker says if Rusev gets near Henry he “might get some stank on him”… Riley LOL’s at the comment, unable to hold it in. Booker is so classy….
– Back to last week’s Raw, Wyatt beats Jericho in the cage. Yet Wyatt isn’t booked for the PPV. That can’t be good. Takes more than winning matches to keep momentum going. Tonight on Raw it’s Bray Wyatt vs. Big Show. Renee Young talks to the Big Show. He’s fought them all for the last 15 years in WWE, but he’s never seen anyone like Bray. Show says if Bray likes darkness so much, he will put out his lights. A fun generic 30 second promo…
Time for Raw!!!
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WWE Raw 9/15/14 from the Cajundome in Lafayette, Louisiana
– Paul Heyman opens up Raw, already in the ring. Paul tries to predict what will happen tonight, what Lesnar will do. Cena interrupts and asks where Brock is. Cena says he told Paul last week, he’s either going to fight Brock, or he’s going to fight Heyman. Paul says if Cena doesn’t want to wait til NoC then he will get his ass beat tonight. Heyman introduces Brock Lesnar after a big build up… Cena gets ready… But Lesnar doesn’t show up… Heyman has a laugh at Cena’s expense…
Heyman says Brock isn’t here yet, his private plane hasn’t arrived. But he WILL be here. Heyman thinks Cena knew Brock wasn’t here, that’s why he called him out now. Heyman starts to leave, but Cena grabs him. John Cena gives Heyman 90 minutes to produce Brock Lesnar, which also subsequently will roughly be halftime of Monday Night Football. If Lesnar doesn’t show up within 90 minutes, then Cena is kicking Heyman’s butt instead. Cena then drags Heyman to the back with him to make sure he doesn’t run off… Heyman has until “half time” to produce Brock.
– Reigns vs. Rollins is advertised for tonight, even though it’s scheduled for the PPV (or was at least)… Love that last minute booking.
– Jericho on his way to the ring for some rasslin… Against Kane… Next! I don’t blame you for changing the channel….
-Commercial Break-
– Moments ago on the WWE APP, John Cena locks Paul Heyman in Cena’s locker room and asks Great Khali to stand guard…
1. Chris Jericho vs. Corporate KANE.
Kane gains control to start, Jericho takes over momentarily by dumping Kane outside and diving out onto him, but Kane takes right back over with a clothesline on the floor…. Back in the ring, Jericho gets another short burst of offense, before Kane takes right back over and dumps Jericho outside for a merciful commercial break.
Back from break, Kane places Jericho in a nerve hold, and then a chinlock. Now that’s quality 2014 wrestling right there. Jericho keeps fighting back, but Kane keeps cutting him off. Side slam by Kane gets 2… Kane with a flying clothesline off the top, but Jericho dropkicks him in the face… Jericho comeback time, Chris moving slow and Kane selling it even worse makes it suck… Jericho mounts Kane for 10 punches in the corner, but Kane steps out and tries to hot shot Chris on the top buckle, but they miss and Jericho’s face either smashes the middle turnbuckle or the mat, not sure which. Spot was decent, even if they missed it. Kane exposes the steal buckle, at least we’ve moved into the ;ate 80’s spots now… Jericho blocks a whip into the exposed buckle and hits Kane with a crossbody for 2. Jericho tries for the Walls, but Kane spins out and hits a Chokeslam or something similar. Kane goes to catapult Jericho into the corner, but Chris lands on the ropes (just like last week)… Chris jumps into a chokeslam, but counters it with a DDT on Kane… Jericho looks for a Codebreaker, but Kane with a Big Boot instead for 2…
Chris wiggles himself out of a tombstone and hits his old school Bulldog, and the Lionsault, but Kane grabs him by the throat as he connects with the Lionsault. Kane stands up, but ends up charging into the exposed corner, and Jericho rolls him up… A LOUSY ROLLUP ends this after 14:00…. A 14:00 Kane match…
Not sure how bright it was to start this show with a KANE match… Much less 14:00… Jericho wins… The crowd made noises for some of the spots but were dead during the rest of the match. Not good…. AND, this does absolutely nothing for the PPV.
– Paul Heyman is stuck in Cena’s locker room, he’s calling Brock Lesnar… I have a feeling Great Khali will pay for this…
– Oh dear God, shoot me now… WWE has created a $9.99 MUSIC VIDEO Ad. It has it’s own theme music now.
-Commercial Break-
– We hear from Olympic High Jumper Charles Austin (not the guy Marty Jannetty broke the neck of), who supports Mark Henry in his rally against Rusev. USA, USA, USA!
– Renee Young interviews Roman Reigns. We go back and see Seth Rollins heel turn from 3 months back. Reigns talks about wrestling Rollins tonight, and punching him until his knuckles bleed… Ooooookay.
– And now they’re plugging “Stone Cold” Steve Austin’s Podcast… Hmmmm
-Commercial Break-
2. Jack Swagger (w/Zeb) vs. Bo Dallas.
Yet another match that I assumed was being built for the PPV, or at least the Preshow, and we’re getting it on Raw… Eh, whatever. Bo starts off aggressive, but Swagger drives him back into the corner and works him over, hitting a belly to belly for 2… Jack misses a charge in the corner, and Dallas back on the offense and very aggressive. Bo with a standing dropkick gets 2. Dueling chant of “We the People” / “We Bo-Lieve”. Dallas is all over Swagger while the announcers banter amongst themselves. Swagger breaks a chinlock with a back suplex, but Dallas right back on top with a swinging neckbreaker for 2. Dallas misses a middle rope kneedrop and Swagger recovers. Jack about boots Bo’s face off and goes for the Swagger Bomb, but Bo rolls outside… Dallas drops Jack across the top rope and school boys Jack for 2… Swagger comes back and tries for the Ankle Lock but Dallas breaks free. Dallas comes back for the Bo Dog, but Jack blocks it, Dallas tries a crucifix into a sunset flip, but Jack kicks out and grabs the Ankle Lock for the submission in 6:00… And that 6 week feud is over just like that…
Perfectly fine TV match. Thought it deserved a better send off than a random spot on Raw, but sometimes I just expect too much from the WWE… Goot make room for those Bellas you know…
-Commercial Break-
3. Brie Bella & AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella & Divas Champion Paige.
And once again, the Bellas are so important that they get a top of the hour spot. Nikki doesn’t want anything to do with Brie and immediately tags Paige in. Paige beats down Brie for what feels like forever… Brie finally knocks Paige down and tries a hot tag to AJ, but Nikki runs around and yanks AJ off the apron. Brie can’t make a tag, and Paige his the “RamPaige” on Brie for the win in something like 3:00.
After the match, Nikki hits Brie with the Torture Rack Drop thingy and leaves her sister laying. Paige skips around the ring with the title, while AJ skips outside, mirroring Paige, stopping and starting just as Paige does. AJ rules…
– Bray Wyatt cuts a promo on the Big Show, they’re fighting next…
– Paul Heyman’s still stuck in the locker room for another 20 minutes. But so is that poor camera man… Hey, it’s John Cena’s locker room… It should be like royalty in there… If Heyman was smart he’d go through Cena’s bags… Do it Paul!
-Commercial Break-
– WWE, don’t try this at home… Be a better story writer than us!
– Paul Heyman tries to exit the locker room. Apparently his cell phone doesn’t get reception in Cena’s locker room. Heyman pleads with Khali to allow him to leave the locker room to make a call. Khali smashes the phone and tosses Heyman back in the room. Khali then tries talking on the broken phone but says there’s no reception in broken English.
4. The Big Show vs. Bray Wyatt (w/Rowan & Harper).
Show overpowers Bray early, but Wyatt thinks it’s funny. Show misses a charge in the corner though, and Wyatt lands a big splash in the corner on Show. Show tries to raise his foot for a boot, but Bray catches it and jams Show’s ankle into Bray’s shoulder, sort of like a Stunner on the ankle. Show goes down, Bray hits a DDT for 2… Show escapes a chinlock, but Bray goes to Show’s bad leg. Another chinlock from Wyatt, show eventually counters with a back suplex. Show hits couple of follow in clotheslines in the corner on Bray, but Wyatt comes back with a flying body attack for 2….
Wyatt jumps off the middle rope into a Chokeslam hold from Show, Rowan climbs onto the apron but Show shoves Bray into Rowan. Big Show goes for a version of his old Show Stopper, but Harper jumps in to stop the count and cause a DQ at 4:50.
After the match the Big Show double chokeslams Rowan & Harper, while Wyatt sits in the Rocking Chair laughing. Show doesn’t look too pleased…
– We’ve either got a short segment coming up next, or the Cena segment. Since they didn’t advertise, I’d imagine it’s the former. The Eages/Colts game has a LONG way to go before half time, so I’m not sure if they’re going to keep bumping the Cena segment until then, or what they’re planning to do…
-Commercial Break-
How many times are the Usos going to have their legs broken, and then come out the next week and jump around like they’re fine? Sort of kills the angle, no?
5. Tag Champs The Usos & Sheamus vs. Cesaro, Goldust & Stardust.
There ya go, push these guys against each other down our throats every week, that should build some interest in watching them wrestle on the PPV… Goldust and Sheamus start off with an extended back and forth wrestling match. We’ve got an Uso tagged in, but he gets outnumbered and the heels take over the match, Stardust lands a Disaster Kick off the top rope and we head to commercial.
Back from break, the heels still have Jimmy Uso down. Cesaro teases the swing, which gets a pop, so he throws Jimmy down to get some boos. Gutwrench throw by Cesaro. The Dust Brothers take turns on offense, but it’s Cesaro who turns his attention to Shemaus, and Jimmy Uso almost gets the tag. Goldust tags in and stops Jimmy from tagging, but Goldy gets taken down too, and we get double hot tags to Stardust and Sheamus. Rolling Senton on Stardust, Sheamus goes after Cesaro and Stardust rolls Sheamus up for 2… Sheamus knocks Cesaro to the floor, and Stardust follows, Sheamus dives out onto both men!!! Back inside, Stardust misses a top rope Disaster Kick and eats a Brogue Kick, but Sheamus misses Cesaro tagging in. Cesaro lands the Neutralizer on Sheamus! 1….2…Jey Uso saves…
Jey Uso with a Superkick on Cesaro and a dive onto the Dust Brothers… Sheamus tags Jimmy Uso, who hits a Flying Splash onto Cesaro for the win in 16:00….
– We’re reminded what Rollins did to Ambrose with the cinder blocks. We’ve got Rollins vs. Reigns tonight.
– John Cena isn’t very good at math, we’re past half time…
-Commercial Break-
– Apparently Night of Champions Preshow will be an hour, and there will be a special edition of Christian’s Peep Show as he hosts Chris Jericho for some reason…
– Renee Young interviews Randy Orton on why he attacked Chris Jericho. Orton doesn’t like what Jericho has said about him in the past, and plans to finish Jericho at NoC.
– It’s 40 seconds from half time on the NFL game, aaaaannnnd Nick Foles throws a pick and that’s the half… So guess what’s next??? Cena/Lesnar!!! Khali continues to guard the door… Countdown to Khali getting his a$$ kicked, who wants to take that bet? If Cena comes for Heyman instead of Brock I’ll be sad…
-Commercial Break-
– Aww, I’m already saddened… John Cena retrieves Paul Heyman… Damn, I was hoping for a Khali beatdown. Cena drags Heyman to the ring and pins him down. As Cena cuts a promo, Heyman tries to escape but he’s caught again. Cena tells Heyman to make Lesnar appear, or Cena’s going to punch his teeth out. Well that’s just not nice. Produce Your Beast…
Heyman responds and tries to talk his way out of the beatdown by telling Cena he’s turning into a bully. Cena pauses now. Heyman says unless Cena becomes a bully and a beast he can’t beat Brock Lesnar. Heyman tells Cena to let the beast out and hit him. Heyman says “Hustle, Loyalty, Respect” will force Cena to fail this Sunday.
Cena says if there was ever a human that needed their a$$ beat it’s Heyman. Heyman begs Cena to hit him so he can become a Paul Heyman Guy. Fans chant “Yes”. Cena replies “No”, and the crowd boos. Cena admits this was just a setup to get Lesnar in the ring, he never planned to hurt Heyman. Cena says Heyman is an old, washed up, scumbag, has been, who doesn’t deserve the dirt off his hands.
Heyman says Cena has no balls, and John sends Paul flying out of the ring… BROCK LESNAR’S MUSIC HITS…. and THERE HE IS!!!!!
Lesnar stops short of the ring as Cena invites him in. Brock smirks and walks around ringside, checks on Heyman, and the two slowly walk away laughing, and now the crowd is REALLY pissed. LOL. Wow… Lesnar teases entering the ring three times before he finally enters the ring. Cena floors Cena with a big German Suplex and Cena goes rolling to the floor like a piece of poo.
Brock gets cocky and doesn’t notice Cena returning. Cena bombards Brock and knocks him outside. Cena attacks Brock on the floor, but security breaks it up… Lots of security….
So Cena made the invite last week, they knew about this for two hours tonight as the built the angle, and then they let them fight for 20 seconds before being pulled apart? That makes sense…
Michael Cole claims Brock Lesnar’s nose is broken from the fight we just witnessed, I wasn’t able to catch it myself, but it’s possible.
-Commercial Break-
6. Naomi vs. Cameron.
Haven’t seen either one of these girls in a while, I only watch Raw… Almost forgot who Cameron was when I saw her. Naomi is thrown outside right away. Cameron beats down Naomi and hits a splits into a legdrop for 2. Cameron works a surfboard type hold, Naomi spins out but Cameron just continues to dominate the entire match. Some sloppy stuff and screaming mixed in. Completely missed dropkick spot, and Cameron grabs a chinlock so Naomi can escape and make her comeback. Naomi tries a Brisco Roll out of the corner, Cameron hangs on, Naomi finally gets her over and turns it into a submission. Cameron taps before Naomi even gets the hold applied. Match was 4:00, Naomi got like one move, and the crowd was DEAD.
-Commercial Break-
7. Dolph Ziggler & R-Truth vs. The Miz & Damien Sandow.
Sandow and Truth are the stunt doubles. Truth sporting punk trunks. JBL says Truth and Ziggler are as identical as the Beverly Brothers and he can’t tell them apart. Dolph and R-Ziggler have early control, but eventually Miz and Damien Miz-dow take over on Truth. The comedy announcing in this match is so ridiculous, it’s actually pretty funny. Lawler is completely heel in this match for no reason and Michael Cole makes a point of mocking it. It’s pretty fun. The Miz crew taunt Dolph while they work over Truth. Midway through the match the announcers realize Sandow has a bear so they can tell him and Miz apart. JBL wonders if Dolph and Truth will pull Twin Magic at the PPV. Ziggler gets the hot tag but misses a Famouser on Miz, and Miz rolls up for 2… Miz tries the Skull Crushing Finale, but Ziggler counters and hits the Famouser…1..2..Sandow breaks it up. Truth comes in, but he and Sandow are dumped. Dolph hits the Zigzag on Miz for the win in 5:10.
Miz and Sandow lay outside in the exact same position, since Sandow is a stunt double and all…
– Seth Rollins interview backstage. He calls Roman Reigns a Rhino, because he’s big and dumb… I think we already had one of those… He made Roman Reigns. Tonight he takes it all away.
-Commercial Break-
– Big Show & Usos vs. Wyatt Family on SD.
8. Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns.
Rollins gets control early, but Reigns knocks him to the floor and we take a commercial 2 minutes in.
Back from break, Rollins is back in control, beating down Reigns both inside and outside the ring. Rollins misses a rolling splash into the corner, and Reigns takes back over, Rollins misses a big kick and Roman lays him out with a John Cena like Blue Thunder Bomb thing, and then the Apron Dropkick… Superman Punch! Rollins leapfrogs a Spear and Superkicks Reigns while he’s on his knees… Superkick gets 2. Seth climbs up top, but Reigns tries to superplex him off. Rollins counters and flips over Reigns to his feet on the mat and hits Roman with a running powerbomb into the top turnbuckle for 2… Rollins tries a Curb Stomp, but Reigns dodges and hits a Spear for the win in 11:00… Just like that…
And they have a rematch at the PPV… What’s the point? I mean really… This doesn’t even make sense, Reigns just goes over clean, no angles, no shenanigans, then they just wrestle again in 6 days.
We’re almost out of time, and I completely forgot Mark Henry was going to rally America… To end the show??? Hmmm… I’ll bite.
-Commercial Break-
It’s already 11:02 and we’re reliving the Cena/Lesnar showdown from earlier. Not sure what this Mark Henry thing is going to be about.
– Michael Cole in the ring with American Flags in all 4 corners. Out comes Mark Henry. The fans were clearly handed out mini-Rougeau Brother sized American flags for use in this segment. Henry says Rusev and Lana make him angry. He talks about pulling out of the Olympics in 1996 and this being his second chance to win something for America. Henry promises that he won’t, and he can’t let us down.
Cole repeats a bunch of Anti-American Tweets made by Lana. Henry begins to reply but he’s cut off by Rusev and Lana, they stop at the top of the ramp. Lana uses her usual “shut up” line as the heels slowly walk to the ring. Lana craps on the U.S. and President Obama. Lana mocks Henry for failing in the 1992 and 1996 Olympic Games, in 1992 Russian won. Lana shows pictures of the Gold medal 1992 Olympic weight lifter. This Olympic stuff is going on a little too long.
And here comes the Vladimir Putin references. Lana says history will repeat itself at NoC when Henry loses to a Russian again. Henry makes a PLEDGE. He says the Pledge of Allegiance. Henry gets about halfway through when Rusev attacks. Rusev rams Henry back into a corner, but Mark comes back and tosses him. “USA chants”, but Rusev hits the jumping side kick and knocks Henry out, then tries to apply the Accolade, but Henry blocks it!
Henry breaks free and lands a Sit-out Double Choke Bomb and tosses Rusev from the ring.
Mark Henry stands tall and waves the American flag to end the show… Vince loves him some Patriotic angles… He’s been waiting years to bring it back.
That’s it peoples, no post show.
