WWE Raw Preshow Notes 8/10/15
– Stanford, Graves & Otunga immediately stink it up per usual with lousy quips. Stephen Amell is at Raw tonight, so there’s no doubt this Stardust crap is happening… Also tonight it’s Team Bella vs. Team BAD in a 6-woman tag… And Daniel Bryan on MizTV, so I can only imagine this is some sort of crap segment to push Tough Enough or some other WWE project…
– We look into what happened with Rollins and Cena, and Rollins’ title match last week with Neville. Close call. They also talk Cena’s broken nose.
– Sasha Banks made Paige tap last week. Naomi also won a match last week. Team BAD is in good positioning. Sasha Banks joins the preshow via phone. You’re not missing anything…
– This show has REALLY become pointless. If they spend $20 on production for this, then they’re wasting their money. They could have a one man crew recap this crap in 5 minutes.
– Jojo is with Mark Henry at Raw. He has an American flag in hand and one stitched onto his singlet… He’s disgusted by his loss to Rusev last week, he let everyone down. But tonight he seeks revenge for the USA… Didn’t we already see this whole thing last fall?
– Recap of the Wyatt Family / Reigns & Ambrose feud. It’s Harper vs. Ambrose on Raw tonight, because we haven’t seen that before…
– Daniel Bryan on MixTV. Tough Enough, Autobiography, another project? You best believe this segment is merely to promote something “worthwhile”. They’re in Washington so I guess why not.
– It wouldn’t be the preshow without noting that Stephen Amell is here tonight. Stardust’s promos from last week plays where he mocks Neville’s loss to Rollins, and mocks Amell. They spend way too much time hyping this crap. Can’t you wait to hear how “over” this segment is? T
That wraps the preshow up kiddies, which leaves me already asking myself— “Why bother?”.
The WWE Raw Report 8/10/15 from from the Xfinity Arena in Everett, Washington
Seth Rollins In-Ring Promo
– WWE World Champion Seth Rollins to the ring all by his lonesome. Ugh. This feels like early 2000’s HHH hour all over again with these long-winded going-nowhere promos… This promo is what you’d expect. Seth mocks John Cena for failing to answer his challenge for Summer Slam. If Cena doesn’t accept then he should forfeit the US Title to Seth. Rollins says either way he will walk out of Slam the first man ever to hold both of those titles at the same time. Seth mocks Cena for not being at Raw, but he will be on Tough Enough tomorrow, how ironic since Cena isn’t “Tough Enough”. We learn that Cena is here… VIA SATELLITE.
In actuality it’s just a picture of Cena with a broken nose and someone’s mouth (Seth’s?) moving and mocking Cena. Do these things ever work? This “Cena” makes fun of himself. The crowd groans at most of this shit…
Rollins is interrupted (finally) by Cesaro…. Cesaro is sick of hearing Rollins go on and on and on and on and on… At least he gets it… Cesaro wants to be the next for the Open Challenge for the WWE Title. Rollins explains that the open challenge was last week and Cesaro has done nothing to deserve a shot.
Kevin Owens interrupts. He points out the “Cesaro Section” signs in a heelish manner, just to promote them, lol… Owens runs down Cesaro. Then KO points out that Seth tapped to Cena 2 weeks ago. Owens has beaten Cena so he deserves the shot… Seth isn’t offering a shot…
Cue Randy Orton! Orton mocks KO for being fat. #BeAStar Randy. Orton deserves the shot… Presumably because he’s Randy Orton. But Seth says he isn’t defending against anyone, he doesn’t care what the Authority thinks…
Cue HHH… HHH claims Cena is 50/50 at best to make it to Summer Slam. HHH announces a Triple Threat Match tonight with Cesaro vs. Orton vs. Owens. The winner will meet Seth Rollins for the WWE Title in tonight’s Main Event.
And we’ve got Divas action next.
— Commercial Break —
1. Team Bella (Bellas & Foxy) vs. Team B.A.D. (Sasha Banks, Naomi, Tamina)
Team PCB (formerly the Sorority Sisters) are on commentary. Don’t they pay people to come up with shit better than that? Foxy looks good early on Nay-Nay. Bellas look sloppy, especially Brie. Naomi jiggles her ass in Nikki’s face to gain control… No, seriously…. Crowd chanting “We want Sasha” and Banks tags in briefly. Some miscommunication between Nikki and Naomi leads to some sloppy work, but Nikki lands a Disaster Kick on Naomi as we head to break…
Back from break, Sasha has control of Nikki and plays heel up well knocking Brie off the apron. Crowd eating up Banks. A quick replay shows Tamina stomp Nikki’a head off during the break. Finally a hot tag to Brie. Brie knocks Tamina off the apron and lands the YES! kicks on Banks. Naomi then knocked off the apron. Brie with her shtick, the missile dropkick, etc… Brie goes for the Brie Mode knee, but misses a blind tag to Tamina who clotheslines Brie’s face off… Tamina knocks Nikki and Fox off the apron and throws a Superkick at Brie, but Brie ducks and rolls Tamina up for the Team Bella win in 9:00.
Team BAD beats down Team Bella afterwards, Team PCB breaks it up and it turns into a 9 woman brawl with women getting tossed out all sides of the ring, eventually leaving Charlotte standing tall for a moment… Then Team BAD and Team PCB get in each other’s faces before realizing Team Bella is smiling and celebrating their win at ringside.
— Commercial Break —
– So celebrity Stephen Amell is in the front row… Way to be a guest.
2. New Day (Kofi & Big E w/Xavier) vs. Los Matadores w/Torito
Apparently Summer Slam is 2 weeks away and we still have no challengers for the Tag Titles. Are you shocked? Look at the division. Big E mauls over a Matador and New Day beat his ass down in their corner. Prime Time Players are shown taking notes and scouting in the back? Taking notes? Yeah, I remember when Ax and Smash took notes. This match is all New Day beating down on one of the Matadores, but the announcers never bother to learn Primo from Epico, or whatever their “Mexican” names are… Big splash from Big E gets 2. A couple of false hot tags leads to E hitting his shoulder on the post and we learn it’s Diego who tags out… Sp I guess it’s Fernando tagging in. Woods tries to cheat for New Day so they do a spot where Diego aids Torito in landing a huracan rana on Woods on the floor. Back in the ring Big E gets a blind tag from Kofi and E drops Fernando with the Big Ending for the win in 4:00.
New Day celebrate. Big E does a ridiculous dance that lands somewhere between a stripper with no rhythm and a pervert.
I hope the PTP took some great notes…
— Commercial Break —
– New Day celebrate backstage. Apparently beating Los Matadores has earned them a shot at the tag titles at Summer Slam. Renee Young interrupts to inform New Day that the PTP will defend the tag titles at Summer Slam against New Day…. Los Matadores… and Lucha Dragons… Apparently no Ascension. lol… New Day question why Men on a Mission or Harlem Heat weren’t added, but accept the announcement.
– Backstage it’s HHH and Seth Rollins. HHH tells Seth he opened this Open Challenge door last week and if he wants to prove he’s the man he will have to do it every night. Seth agrees finally and says if Cena can do it every week, he can do it too, only better.
– We go back to Smackdown where Reigns & Ambrose challenge Wyatt and Harper for Summer Slam. Wyatt accepts.
– Triple Threat match is next.
— Commercial Break —
3. Randy Orton vs. Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro
Apparently this is a NO DQ MATCH… I missed that… Winner meets Rollins in the main event. Not sure how that’s fair, but let’s see what happens… We get a shoving match to start, the two faces go after Owens so KO takes a powder… Owens runs from Cesaro but runs into a clothesline from Orton on the floor… Back in the ring Cesaro tries the Swing on Owens but has to settle for a Double Stomp for two… Orton comes in and lands a t-bone suplex on Cesaro, Owens then with a senton on Cesaro but stands up right into a T-bone on Owens from Orton… Randy tries the suspension DDT on Cesaro but Cesaro counters looking for the Cesaro Swing… Owens pulls Cesaro outside. Orton joins them. KO suplexes Cesaro gut first on the barricade. Orton then back suplexes Owens onto the barricade and brings him back inside for 2…
Lots of forearm uppercuts from everyone as they trade shots. Owens gets knocked to the floor and Orton lands his backbreaker on Cesaro for 2… More uppercut exchanges from Orton and Cesaro this time. Cesaro counters the RKO into the Crossface!!! Orton reaches the ropes, but there are no DQ’s, so Randy rolls to the floor to escape. Owens sends Cesaro outside and lands a over the top rope somersault senton dive onto Orton and Cesaro as we head to break…
Back from break, Orton is MIA as Owens lands the Cannonball on Cesaro in the corner. KO goes to the top but s cut off from Orton. Orton gets knocked off the ropes but Cesaro dropkicks KO on the top rope. Cesaro and Orton DOUBLE SUPERPLEX ON OWENS… But Orton & Cesaro immediately go at it, trading shots… CESARO SWING and the SHARPSHOOTER applied on Orton… Randy reaches the ropes but no break… KO breaks up the hold. More back and forth spots leads to Orton landing a DOUBLE Suspension DDT on both.
Cesaro counters an RKO and Orton gets pulled outside where KO hits a Fall Away Slam on Orton into the barricade… Cesaro then with a Suicide dive onto Owens outside… Back in the ring near falls between KO and Cesaro. Cesaro with a springboard reverse flying uppercut… Awesome… Near fall… Crowd is SOOO behind this!
Cesaro has Owens on the top rope… Cesaro knocked off, SENTON OFF THE TOP BY OWENS… but Cesaro gets his knees up!!! Cesaro up but right into an Owens Superkick. Owens for the POP UP POWERBOMB! Cesaro jumps over, Orton sneaks in with an RKO on Owens… RKO on Cesaro… And Cesaro does the job for Randall after 18:08… AWESOME MATCH… Jesus, save shit like this for PPV…
– Backstage promo from Reigns and Ambrose. Ambrose will face Harper tonight.
— Commercial Break —
– Okay, so neither of our Summer Slam main event competitors are at Raw this week, so we get a “build up” video instead. Nothing says big fight feel like a video package…
We learn that Brock and Taker will both be at the Go-Home Raw show next week. Well I’d hope so…
– Dean Ambrose headed to ringside.
— Commercial Break —
4. Dean Ambrose (w/Roman Reigns) vs. Luke Harper (w/Bray Wyatt)
Byron Saxton runs off from commentary after talking crap on the Wyatts and the Wyatts run him off so Bray can take his seat. Harper takes control early and lands the spinning side slam for 2. Dean low bridges and Luke spills to the floor. Ambrose with a running baseball slide kick and then a running flying elbow attack off the apron. We head to commercial.
Back from break, Harper catapults Dean into the middle rope. Crowd wants Wyatt to kill Saxton. Harper nails Snake Eyes on the middle buckle for 2. Dean battles back with a Tornado DDT and both men are down. Dean makes a comeback, Harper blocks Dirty Deeds and tries a powerbomb. Ambrose counters the powerbomb, Harper misses a big boot and the match goes to the floor… Ambrose sends Wyatt over the announce table and lays Harper out with a nasty clothesline in the ring… Outside Wyatt comes after Dean but eats a Reigns SUPERMAN PUNCH… Harper than lays Reigns out with a Superkick… But Ambrose with a suicide dive out onto Harper…
Back inside, Ambrose goes to the top rope but hets knocked off. Harper with a DISCUS CLOTHESLINE TO THE THROAT!!!! FUCK! 1….2…..3… Harper wins in 10:37.
– Time to hit the pisser… MIZ-TV is next.
— Commercial Break —
MizTV with Daniel Bryan, Big Show / Ryback Returns!
– The Miz points out Stephen Amell (wouldn’t this feud have made more sense?), Miz rips on Amell but then brings out Daniel Bryan. The Miz gets sick of the fans chanting because he has a show to run. It’s back and forth jabs. Miz takes credit for Bryan having a career. Bryan mocks the movies Miz makes. Bryan says his accomplishments are because of himself and his fans, not Miz. Miz mocks Bryan for not being cleared to wrestle and being injured because Miz has never been injured. Miz says Bryan sits around doing nothin… This is where Bryan puts over his new book and judging on Tough Enough… Miz is ALSO a judge on Tough Enough… Ugh. Miz talks about Bryan being injured and vacating the IC Title. He says Ryback should do the same thing, vacate the title and give it to Miz…
Big Show interrupts, he dresses down Miz and Bryan… Fans chant “Please Retire”. Show says find someone to retire him…
RYBACK returns… Miz leaves the ring… Bryan leaves the ring… It’s just Ryback and Show. Miz eggs it on from the floor. DANIEL BRYAN THROWS MIZ INTO THE RING RIGHT BETWEEN THE TWO…. Big Show mauls both men into the corner and throws Miz across the ring. Ryback then smashes them both into the far corner… Meathook on Big Show…. Show is gone. Bryan gets behind Ryback as the fans chant YES as Ryback sizes Miz up… Meathook kills Miz…
Segment over… Ryback returns.
— Commercial Break —
– We return with a video package of Charlotte. We learn there’s a Divas 3-Team Elimination match at Summer Slam with PCB, B.A.D., and the Bellas.
5. Rusev (w/Summer Rae) vs. Mark Henry
Lana on commentary say Dolph will be back AFTER Summer Slam. We’ll see. Henry to the ring with a giant American flag. Henry mauls over Rusev early. Summer Rae tries to distract on the apron. Rusev lands the jumping side kick to Mark. Lana yanks Summer off the apron but Summer throws Lana into the ring. Rusev stares down Lana while Summer attacks and this match is called a DQ in like 50 seconds…
Rusev goes outside and posts Henry like a bitch… USA all the way baby. Summer drops Lana and Rusev tells Rae to CRUSH Lana. Summer puts Lana in the Accolade…. The flag drops but now it’s a Bulgarian flag with Rusev’s face on it… WTF happened to Russia? I’m totally lost.
– We go back to last week’s storyline with Neville, but it’s done like a COMIC BOOK. UGH. It’s actually kind of cool, or at least different, if only it meant more… Neville almost wins the WWE Title. Stardust mocks the loss. Stephen Amell is at ringside shaking his head at Stardust’s behavior… Neville is up next on Raw so here comes that segment…
— Commercial Break —
6. Neville vs. King Bloody Barrett
Now don’t forget Stephen Amell is in the front row, because the announcers won’t let you. Same old matches, blah. Barrett with a slingshot backbreaker that gets zero response. Barrett props Nevill across the top rope and beats him down. Wade misses a knee in the corner, Neville with a jumping kick and Red Arrow ends this in 1:07. There’s your King of the Ring fans…
Stardust IMMEDIATELY ATTACKS NEVILLE. Cody lays out Neville and then confronts Amell at ringside. He gets in the face of Amell and pie faces him into his seat… Amell hops the barricade, hops the top rope like a pro and SPEARS Stardust to the mat… Amell starts pounding on Stardust until security rips Amell off. Security back Amell into the corner while Stardust & Barrett leave together… Neville nods at Amell in the ring. Stephen leaves on his own, looks like he’s going back to his seat or whatever….. Please God Stardust is enough, PLEASE NO WADE BARRETT in this match at Summer Slam…
On the plus side, if you want to call it that, Amell looked like he’d be able to pull something half way decent off based on his agility.
— Commercial Break —
– Backstage, HHH is with Stephen Amell & Neville. HHH is yelling at Amell for getting involved. He is just a spectator. Amell wants a piece of Stardust. Neville suggests he and Amell vs. Stardust & Barrett at Slam… HHH says Amell will never be “one of them” he is just an actor… Amell says he’s a man and will sign wavers so WWE has no responsibility for anything that happens. HHH agrees and thinks Amell will get his ass kicked. HHH tells Amell not to bring a stunt double…. The match is signed and Barrett gets slid into it by de facto.
The WWE Network…. is free….. AGAIN…. Why do I even bother paying?
– Backstage, Jojo interviews Sheamus. As the MITB holder, Sheamus wants to know who he should root for in the main event. Orton or Rollins. Sheamus makes a joke that I don’t even get then makes an awkward laugh. Sheamus reminds us of his briefcase he plans to cash in at just the right time. He teases that could be tonight. Sheamus also now has his nose pierced on top of the mohawk and braided beard… Can he look more stupid?
— Commercial Break —
7. WWE World Champion Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton
Rollins runs from Randy early and often… Seth does the Shawn Michaels flip into the corner and turns right into an RKO, but Seth escapes at the last second and rolls back to the floor as we head to break.
Back from final break, Seth has the dreaded chinlock hooked on tight. Randy breaks but Seth hits that spin around sit-out clothesline thingy and a neckbreaker. Rollins tries a dive out onto Randy but is met with a fist and Orton takes over. Rollins counters the backbreaker but Randy still hits his powerslam for 2. Rollins escapes the Suspension DDT and grabs his belt to leave ringside… Orton stops him and clotheslines Rollins over the barricade. Orton back suplexes Rollins onto the announce table before they go back to the ring. Rollins hooks the tights with a roll up and nearly steals it. Orton tries a roll up and only gets 2 as well.. Rollins then Superkicks Randy right in the face. Oww. Trying to break another nose?
Rollins goes to the top but Orton crotches him. Top rope SUPERPLEX from Randy. Seth tries to sneak a Pedigree but gets backdropped, only lands on his feet… Orton tries a Suspension DDT but gets taken to the apron… ROLLINS THEN HITS ORTON WITH THE SUSPENSION DDT!!!! Damn. What a heel.
Rollins then mocks Orton, stalking Randy, looking for the Pedigree, they blow a backdrop spot… They get it on the second time, Rollins gets backdropped to the apron… Rollins with a SPRINGBOARD INTO AN RKO!!!! 1………………………..2…………………………..SHEAMUS PULLS ORTON OUTSIDE!!!! Randy gets the DQ win. Lame. 13:33. Sheamus costs Orton the title!!!
Sheamus drops Orton and then lays Rollins out with the BROGUE KICK!!!! SHEAMUS WANTS TO CASH IN… Rollins laid out… Sheamus hands the referee the MITB briefcase, he’s ready to cash in!!! But Sheamus TURNS INTO AN RKO!!!! Now Orton costs Sheamus the WWE Title…
Orton stands over Sheamus to end the show…
For those wondering if you should watch… The triple threat match is MUST SEE… The Rollins and Orton match was pretty good as well. Harper and Ambrose wasn’t amazing but it was stiff and solid. The rest was blah.
