WWE Raw Preshow Notes 7/11/16
Hope everyone enjoyed their 4th of July Holiday and any vacations that may have come with it. I’m back this week after taking the 4th off. Should be interesting now that we’re basically a week out from the brand split.
– It’s Stanford, Graves and Booker. Congrats to Brock Lesnar at UFC 200 as they sell #VipervsBeast for Summer Slam.
– Tonight on Raw….
* Vince McMahon Returns!!!
* Plus Battle Royal for the #1 contender for Miz’s IC Title.
* Seth Rollins’ will “tell all” on Roman Reigns.
* They pump Ryder winning both matches last week. Zack Ryder faces Sheamus in a rematch tonight… WAIT…. WTF…..Zack WAS SUPPOSED TO WRESTLE RUSEV FOR THE US TITLE TONIGHT… WTF…???
* Cena has new buddies in Enzo & Cass to deal with AJ and The Club.
* Brother NERO will enter Vanguard 1’s compound…. Errr I mean the New Day enter The Wyatt Family’s compound. Wonder if Luke Harper will be there rehabbing now that his money is done. An interview with Xavier Woods shows him scared but he will be with his team at the compound.
– Earlier tonight at the arena, Breezango mock Sin Cara & Kalisto for covering their “hideous faces” with masks. Cara splashes Breeze with his own drink, Breeze says they ruined his Mongolian Chinchilla fur coat. Match has been signed for Raw… JOY.
Stanford asks Booker if Breezango have what it takes… Booker shits all over them, repeatedly… lol
– Wow, no mention of the Women’s Division at all… That’s not good.
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The WWE Raw Report 7/11/16 from Detroit, MI
MATCH #1: IC TITLE CONTENDER BATTLE ROYAL
We kick off with everyone in the ring so I have no idea who all is in this. Miz is on commentary. Apollo Crews, Ziggler, Dudleys, Usos, Ascension, Darren Young, R-Truth, Corbin, Alberto Del Rio, Goldust, Vaudevillains, Curtis Axel, Jack Swagger, Bo Dallas. Hah, Bob Backlund at ringside. So I THINK this is an 18-Man match.
Aiden English out first by Goldust. Konnor gone. Axel gone by D-Von. Truth dumped by Corbin. Viktor gone by Corbin. Uso tried to eliminate the other Uso, but they laugh it off. D-Von eliminated by Uso’s double superkick. That’s 6 eliminated as we head to break.
During the break Jey Uso got dumped by Bubba, and Gotch eliminated by Ziggler.
Back from break, Goldust gone from enzuigiri from Del Rio. Bo Dallas gone by Crews. Jimmy Uso AND Swagger both dumped by Corbin back to back. Bubba dumped by Darren Young. Down to 5.
ADR, Ziggler, Corbin, Darren Young, Crews are left. Ziggler sends ADR to the floor with a superick but he’s not eliminated. ADR is eliminated by Crews. Ziggler gets ousted by Corbin. Corbin & Crews go out together… WTF… Darren Young is just sitting there looking shocked and he wins in 13:20. lol…
Backlund & Young celebrate. Backlund carries Darren in his arms like a bride. The crowd is chanting “Darren Young”. lol… Just wtf….
– So the Wyatts/New Day fight took place “over the weekend” and we will see footage tonight. Wow, they didn’t even wait to rip TNA off.
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
– Shane and Stephanie are backstage pondering what Vince is coming to Raw for. Seth Rollins interrupts and wants to do “The Rollins Report”, a report on Roman Reigns… He acts like he’s just pitching this, even though it was confirmed earlier today.
– They hype Brock winning UFC 200, and now meeting Randy Orton at Summer Slam. Orton will be on the Highlight Reel at Battleground.
– Backstage, Zack Ryder challenges Rusev backstage, but Sheamus attacks. They’re next.
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
MATCH #2: ZACK RYDER VS. SHEAMUS
Zack Ryder’s new music sucks…. If you’re going to keep the same exact song, just use the original instead of a new version. Ryder gets all the offense, Sheamus counters a Broski boot with a clothesline, but Ryder comes back and lands a Broski Boot anyway. Sheamus managers to his his Brogue Kick and pins Ryder like a bitch in 2:30 at best. WOW…. Way to keep that momentum…
THEN, RUSEV comes power-walking out and attacks Ryder, applies the Accolade and screams repeatedly “I Accept Your Challenge”.
Double momentum killer within a 5 minute span… F-U WWE.
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
MATCH #3: LUCHA DRAGONS VS. BREEZANGO
Cara can’t get a Lucha chant going, lol. Breezango use some heel tactics to get heat on Cara. Finally, a springboard moonsault to Fandango and Cara can get a hot tag to Kalisto. Kalisto blows a springboard and FALLS ON THE ROPES…… Kalisto recovers with some NICE ASS KICKS and a short rana driver on Breeze. Cara wipes Fandango out on the floor with a top rope body block. Back and forth with Breeze & Kalisto. Breeze superkicks Kalisto’s face and rolls him up off the middle rope for the win in 4:21.
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
THE ROLLINS REPORT, WITH SETH ROLLINS. TOPIC, ROMAN REIGNS.
Rollins to the ring. He airs a video with former Roman Reigns interviews spliced in, so that it looks like he is interviewing Reigns. The minute it becomes obvious the crowd shits on it and stops paying attention. As do I. This is your typical play off of a fake interview. Rollins rips Reigns, and plays Reigns responses to agree with him. Video is short, thankfully.
Back to Seth in the ring, and cue DEAN AMBROSE to the ring. Some back and forth banter. Seth says this comes down to who’s the best member of the Shield at Battleground. Dean talks about people leaving the company for other endeavors, people getting suspended, but through it all he’s been here, he’s the king, he’s the backbone, and it’s been that way for a long time, and now he has the belt to prove it… NICE
Rollins says he will meet Ambrose….. NEXT WEEK.
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
– Vince McMahon arrives. He’s here to announce the Smackdown GM… or COO…or whatever they’re called. He will do that later tonight.
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
MATCH #4: KEVIN OWENS VS. CESARO
Sami Zayn comes out for commentary but is forced to leave because Owens considers it an unsafe working environment… Unfortunately, I missed the majority of this 12:00 match dealing with family issues… Owens wins with a fireman’s carry rack into a neckbreaker.
Post match Owens takes Byron Saxton’s headset and bitches about Zayn, when Sami comes FLYING OVER THE BARRICADE… Zayn beats down Owens and sends him into the ring for a lengthy Cesaro Swing… KO stumbles away.
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
– Interview with AJ Styles & The Club… They don’t think Cena is here… Enzo & Cass will suffer…
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
MATCH #5: TITUS O’NEIL VS. HEATH SLATER (w/AXEL & DALLAS)
Titus powers Slater around, Heath comes back with some nice moves, but O’Neil powers back with his signatures and Clash of the Titus ends it in 3:00.
– Renee Young interviews Sasha Banks. She faces Dana Brooke tonight. They pushed her buttons, tonight she doesn’t get mad, she gets real.
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
NEW DAY VISITS THE WYATT FAMILY COMPOUND
Not going to try and “call” this. Weird video effects for the fight… New Day are in the swamps or something. An open area of land sees a girl in a white dress and sheep mask approach, then a bunch of headlights turn on. New Day walk by an abandones truck when a car plows into it… It’s the Wyatt Family… The brawl begins with tires, barrels, mud, trees, windshields, you name it… Bray tries to murder Woods with a pick axe, but it gets stuck in the tree… Nice…
Wyatts half murder the New Day, then New Day comes back and fend off the Wyatt Family… Bray kneels and laughs as several sheep men step out from the car headlights, and behind them a hundred firefly lights begin to glow… The New Day appear beaten up and scared and back up… End video…
Well that was…. interesting….. Better production and quality than the Brother Nero match, but nowhere near the trainwreck… For what this was, it wasn’t bad, but I’m not sure what the point was either.
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
MATCH #6: ENZO & BIG CASS VS. GALLOWS & ANDERSON
Match starts during the break after intros. Much like the Cesaro/Owens match, unfortunately I have some things going on around the house that couldn’t avoid being attended to. My apologies as this is the first time to happen in the 30+ months I’ve been doing this. Match goes through another break as the heels get heat.
I’m only sitting down as Cass gets the hot tag and clears the ring. Empire elbow to Anderson. Cass just mauling Anderson, fall away slam, stinger splash, big boot. Tag to Enzo for the Rocket Launcher on Anderson… Styles distracts Cass and he goes tumbling to the floor… Enzo gets a 2 count on Anderson before Gallows breaks it up. Meanwhile AJ is caught attacking Cass on the floor to draw a DQ…
Match went around 12:00, possibly longer. It’s hard to say since it started during a break.
With Cass laid out, the Club looks to triple team Enzo when JOHN CENA’S music hits… As if there is a doubt, Cena is here. Cena out to make the save, and the 3 faces clear the ring and celebrate to Cena music.
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
MATCH #7: SASHA BANKS VS. DANA BROOKE (w/CHARLOTTE)
This Dana Brooke project needs to come to an end. It’s not working, and neither is glamouring her up and trying to make her a character she’s not made for. Brooke runs early. Sasha slaps the shit out of her… More running. Kills the crowd. Banks hits a variant of the Thesz Press, and a top rope arm drag. Brooke finally grabs Sasha by the hair and kicks her to the floor. We go to break.
Back from break, Brooke has control. Crappy side slam gets 2. Dana does a hand stand boot choke in the corner. That was different at least. A cartwheel into a splash. Meh. Gets 2. Banks makes the comeback. Signature Double stomp on the middle rope for 2. Brooke tries a superplex off the top but Banks throws her off… Sasha high cross body for 2 on Dana. Brooke comes back trying something out of a fireman’s carry, but Banks lands on her feet and counters with the Banks Statement for the tap out win in 12:00.
Banks wins!
Post match, Charlotte on the mic. She doesn’t think Banks proved anything, because anyone can win once. Charlotte says Sasha needs to beat Brooke again on Smackdown and then MAYBE Sasha can get a title shot… Since when does Charlotte make that decision???
– Vince is in the back walking…. with the most ridiculous tie ever.
— COMMERCIAL BREAK —
VINCE MCMAHON / SHANE MCMAHON / STEPHANIE MCMAHON SEGMENT, WHO WILL RUN SMACKDOWN???
Shane McMahon out first. Then Stephanie is out next. And then the boss Vinnie Mac.
Vince says they’ve both done a pretty good job but he’s disappointed in them. He mocks Stephanie’s character. lol… And then Shane, he shouldn’t even be here but he got the job out of respect. But neither has Ruthless Aggression… Vince doesn’t want them, he wants someone that will be competitive… He asks both of his kids to sell him on hiring them as Commissioner of SD…
Steph goes first, running down Shane. Then Shane says how he will change everything, he will be respectful but he’s not ass kissing. Shane wants picked to offer CHANGE. The fans approve.
Drum Roll…..
Shane McMahon is announced as the Commissioner of Smackdown…
Which leaves Stephanie now in control of Raw… JESUS…
Vince wants them to compete for RATINGS, Live event attendance, merchandise, social media, etc… Vince tells them to break the law, without getting caught.
Vince says they’re the Commissioners, but they have to name their own General Managers… WTF? So there’s a Commish and a GM? On both shows? WTF…. Okay.
Stephanie is going to bury Shane and Smackdown. Shane says Stephanie is scared. Shane says Game On. Steph says there’s only one game in this business and she’s married to him. Ugh… Steph smacks Shane. She dares Shane to smack her back. He kisses her… Steph goes to leave and trips… LOL….
What’s the point of being Commish if you need a GM… lol
That wacky WWE.
