The WWE Raw Report 5/2/16
Wasn’t sure if I was going to make it to this week’s Raw Report… It’s been a busy few weeks trying to get things back in order… We’ve got Podcats, all new OH MY GOD Reviews and more getting ready to launch… I slept through most of the PPV last night, didn’t really see a whole lot beyond the preshow matches and the opening match with the Enzo injury, but I am aware of the outcomes. I plan to watch the Payback matches tomorrow, but I wanted to make sure I was up to date on the storylines heading into Raw tonight… I am skipping the Raw preshow tonight, I’ve been watching it and there was nothing of note to speak of as per the usual.
Okay, so here we go… Raw kicks off with a Payback recap video of Shane/Stephanie situation and Reigns vs. Styles…
STEPHANIE MCMAHON / SHANE MCMAHON SEGMENT
Shane and Steph are now being referred to collectively as “The Power of Monday Night Raw”. Steph is out first, Shane follows immediately. Shane upstges Steph but Steph has a peace offering. She has re-framed the pic of Shane as a kid with Vince.
Kevin Owens interrupts, he wants his IC Title rematch tonight. Cesaro interrupts. He wants another IC Title shot with Miz. They’re booked in a #1 contenders match next.
— Commercial Break —
MATCH #1: CESARO VS. KEVIN OWENS
Cesarp starts off fast with the uppercut train and Owens goes to the floor. Cesaro with a flying somersault senton body block on Owens outside. Back inside Cesaro controls. Owens takes over with a Superkick and lands a senton for 2. KO DDT also gets 2. I forgot to mention Miz is on commentary. KO controls but gets crotched on the top rope. Cesaro with a GUT WRENCH SUPERPLEX off the top!!!! 1….2….Owens kicks out! KO sends Cesaro to the floor and lands a FROG SPLASH OFF THE APRON!!! Raw goes to commercial.
Back from break, Cesaro attempts to take over but Owens lands a release German Suplex and the cannonball in the corner for 2. Cesaro comes battling back with a flying uppercut and then outside he nails a running uppercut into the barricade… Nice. Owens snags the IC belt from Miz to use, Miz snags it back… Cesaro uppercuts Miz over his chair, lol… Cesaro back inside looking for the giant Swing… But MIZ ATTACKS causing a No contest at 11:45.
It appears Miz & Owens both want to attack Cesaro post match, but SAMI ZAYN makes the save…. HELLUVA KICK TO OWENS… And Miz with Maryse takes off before he gets beat down… But Miz leaves the belt in the ring, and Sami Zayn holds it up…
– Backstage, Stephanie McMahon runs into Dean Ambrose. He isn’t buying her new nice attitude. Steph offers to be on the Ambrose Asylum and she promises to field all questions… Ambrose agrees.
— Commercial Break —
– Backstage, R-Truth is couring Tyler Breeze as his new partner. Tyler is busy using his selfie stick, R-Truth has his phone duct taped to a tree limb as a selfie stick. Goldust interrupts. Goldust challenges Breeze and Truth to a match. Truth calls him jealous. Dust has his own partner… Fandango comes in dancing… This entire segment is supposed to be “comedy” and we’re promised a match to follow between Goldy & Breeze… Help us all..
– Backstage, AJ Styles is talking with Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows. They tell AJ that at Extreme Rules anything goes, and Reigns won’t leave champ… Cue Roman Reigns and the crowd boos the shit out of him… lol. Reigns has respect for AJ but not the others. Reigns has back up in the Usos… They challenge to a 6-man tonight. Didn’t we JUST see this exact thing in the Goldust segment????
— Commercial Break —
MATCH #2: GOLDUST (w/FANDANGO) VS. TYLER BREEZE (w/R-TRUTH)
It’s “comedy” from the get go with Truth mimicking Breeze in the entrance. Truth & Goldust have “comedy” words. Nothing happens, Goldust becomes distracted with Fandango & Truth arguing or something. Breeze rolls Goldy up and gets the pin in a minute. UGH… Wht worthless trash. Why even put it on TV, there wasn’t even a match. Oh, and the crowd didn’t care.
— Commercial Break —
NEW DAY / VAUDEVILLAINS / DUDLEY BOYZ / BIG CASS PROMO
Big E is carrying the lone Booty O from Mania. We go back to see Enzo’s injury from last night in slow motion. It’s followed by New Day comedy and a pic of Enzo doing well out of the hospital. Crowd pops.
Vaudewillains interrupt. They bury Enzo for not being a real man. They are the #1 contenders….
Dudley Boyz Interrupt… Though I dunno why, they lose to everyone… Bubba calls them Carneys, lol… Bubba’s beef is that the Vaudevillains didn’t beat anyone last night. Bubba wants to restart the tag tourney right now… Please, God no, don’t do that…
Big Cass interrupts. Cass wants to finish what was started last night. He calls the Vaudes and Dudleys SAWFT….
This leads to n 8-man brawl, and presumably an 8-man tag.
— Commercial Break —
MATCH #3: NEW DAY & BIG CASS VS. THE VAUDEVILLAINS & THE DUDLEY BOYZ
Yup, joined in progress from the break. New Day works over the Vaudes. Big Cass gets his first tag to exact some revenge for Enzo. Unicorn Stampede follows. Bubba makes a blind tag and takes over with a Big Boot to Woods. Dudleys work over Xavier. Woods blocks the flip flop and fly and connects with a dropkick to Bubba… D-Von blocks Woods from tagging out. D-Von misses something off the ropes and Kofi gets a hot tag. Kofi on the offense on D-Von, but the Vaudes distract and D-von dumps Kingston outside… One of the Vaudes send Kofi into the post s we go to commercial.
Back from break again, the heels have control of Kofi. This feels like a house show match, just placed here to kill time. The heel heat just goes on, and on, and on, and on. Kofi finally hits a double dropkick to the Vaudes and hot tags to Big Cass… Cass explodes on all 4 heels. Fall away slam on and big boot on English. Empire Elbow but Bubba breaks it up… Cass big boots Gotch off the apron. Dudleys take over on Cass, but Kofi lands a flying body block on Bubba…. Big Cass with the spinning sidewalk slam (East River Crossing) for the win… This thing went at least 16:00+
– Apparently there’s a Battle Royal tonight for US Title #1 contender… First I heard of it..
— Commercial Break —
– Happy Birthday Rock…
– We recap the Shane/Steph saga, and AJ/Reigns
– We recap the screw job from last night between Charlotte and Natalya. They note the ref was Charles Robinson and show a clip of Charles as “Little Natche” in WCW… The plot thickens!
MATCH #4: BECKY LYNCH VS. EMMA
I’m digging the new Emma. Now this looks like someone who would rip off a store. Emma slaps the shit out of Lynch. Becky fires up in response. Emma powders but Lynch hits a forearm off the apron to the floor. Back inside, Emma yanks Becky off the second rope and takes over. Emma dominates with near falls. Lynch finally comes back with a series of clotheslines and she’s fired up… Exploder suplex gets 2 on Emma. Emma blocks the Dis-Armer by getting to the ropes. The ref tries to separate the two and Emma gouges Becky in the eyes and lands the Michinoku Driver. Emma wins in 5:43.
— Commercial Break —
– Another new Primo & Epico vignette… Hoping Carlito shows up eventually… Puerto Rico has great food, I guess…
THE AMBROSE ASYLUM WITH STEPHANIE MCMAHON
Dean is out with his plant named Mitch. Steph follows. She says she’s happy, Dean isn’t buying it. He shows a picture of Roman spearing Steph from Mania. Dean keeps trying to rile Steph up, and she keeps calming the issues. Ambrose talks about Steph working hard for years only for Shane to return and get equal power. Steph accepts the changes, or so she says. Steph says she learned her lesson, and Dean needs to learn his own lesson. Stephanie cancels the Ambrose Asylum. Crowd shits on her.
Ambrose is cool with the cancellation and starts to leave with Mitch the plant… But Stephanie introduces Jericho and the return of the Highlight reel… Jesus Christ is the entire Extreme Rules PPV just Payback rematches…Jericho & Ambrose cross paths in the aisle. And the brawl begins… Dean clotheslines the shit out of Jericho on the floor. They brawl unto the ring. Jericho counters Dirty Deeds with a Codebreaker…
Ambrose is down and Jericho turns his attention to Mitch the plant… JERICHO BREAKS MITCH THE PLANT OVER AMBROSE’S HEAD… YOWCH!!!
— Commercial Break —
coming up later…
MATCH #5: BATTLE ROYAL TO DETERMINE THE #1 CONTENDER FOR THE U.S. TITLE WITH ZACK RYDER, SIN CARA, BO DALLAS, TITUS O’NEIL, STARDUST, DAMIEN SANDOW, VIKTOR, CURTIS AXEL, APOLLO CREWS, RUSEV, DOLPH ZIGGLER, SHEAMUS, BARON CORBIN, ALBERTO DEL RIO, DARREN YOUNG
Kalisto on commentary. Ryback, Truth, Swagger, Fandango, Heath Slater, were all in the original 20-Man image for this match, yet somehow they’re not out here for the match… So this is apparently a 15-man royal instead. Whatever… Titus eliminated Viktor and Sandow early. Crews dumps Stardust. Darren Young tossed 4th. Sheamus dumps Apollo Crews surprisingly. Ziggler dumps Corbin and then Corbin kills Ziggler outside and feeds him back inside to Rusev to eliminate Dolph. Gotta love commercials during Battle Royals…
Back from break, Sheamus dumps Titus. A.D.Rio dumps Axel, Cara eliminates Dallas. PLEASE don’t let Cara win… It’ll make the US Title even more worthless… Down to 5… The former League of Nations, Cara, and Ryder… You know it. Irish Curse to Ryder. Del Rio dumps Cara… Thank God.
It’s the League vs. Ryder… Poor Zack. Sheamus barks orders and turns on his “friends”. Everybody starts going after everyone. Back Stabber to Sheamus. Rough Ryder to Rio. RIO ELIMINATES SHEAMUS with a Superkick!!!
Ryder eliminates Del Rio!!!! CROWD GOES NUTS FOR RYDER….. It’s Ryder vs. Rusev… Middle rope dropkick from Ryder… Broski boot!!! Rusev reverses a whip over the ropes and eliminates Zack in 14:00, and it kills the crowd…
Lana comes out to celebrate with Rusev post match as Rusev stares down Kalisto… But the crowd doesn’t care because Ryder was screwed again…
— Commercial Break —
CHARLOTTE / RIC FLAIR / CHARLES ROBINSON / NATALYA SEGMENT
Charlotte & Flair confront referee Charles Robinson, who cheated at Payback and screwed Nattie out of the match. Robinson says Nattie submitted verbally and he did not do it because of his friendship with the Flairs or because he was paid off… Surrre Little Natche… The Flairs are happy with Robinson’s answers and he is excused from the ring…
Cue Nattie. She’s pissed about being screwed and blames Ric. She takes out Charlotte, slaps Flair and puts him in the Sharpshooter… Woo… End segment.
— Commercial Break —
– Backstage, Stephanie informs Charlotte that she has a rematch with Nattie at Extreme Rules and it’ll be a Submission Match. The Flairs are happy to hear this, until Steph informs Ric that Mr. Flair will be banned from ringside for the rematch. The Flairs are not happy…
MATCH #6: ROMAN REIGNS & THE USOS VS. AJ STYLES, LUKE GALLOWS, KARL ANDERSON
Styles team starts off in control, the Usos take over until Jey runs into a giant boot from Gallows… And we go to break.
Back from the final break, Jey is still being dominated. Anderson with a spinebuster for 2. Jey manages a superkick on Styles and hot tags to Reigns. Blah. Reigns starts wiping out Anderson and Gallows all on his own… Blah. Styles makes a blind tag, but Reigns hits him with a tilt a whirl slam… Crowd boos… Superman Punch sends Gallows off the apron. Reigns tries a Superman Punch to AJ, but runs into a pele Kick…. Jimmy Uso tags himself in and gets a near fall off a cross body on Styles… Elevated Samoan drop on AJ gets 2…
We’ve got all 6 man going at it now. Gallows & Anderson hit their finisher on Reigns outside the ring and into the barricade… Jimmy Uso goes off the ropes for a dive but eats a Phenomenal Forearm on the rebound… Styles gets the pin in 10:30…
After the match Gallows and Anderson want to injure Reigns… They hand AJ a chair while they beat down Reigns… AJ doesn’t look like he wants a part in it… Anderson & Gallows instruct AJ to use the chair… But Styles won’t… Even though the crowd wants him to… lol… Styles drops the chair… And the USOS use the chair on Styles…. Usos drop Anderson & Gallows… Styles comes back with the chair and lays out the Usos… And Reigns sees it… Reigns only sees AJ use the chair… SUPERMAN PUNCH to AJ… Reigns has “snapped” now for whatever reason… He plans to put Styles through the announce table. Running Powerbomb AJ Styles through the tables…….
All he gets is boos. Crowd hates him.
