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Raw Pre-Show 4/28/14
– Our panel this week conists of Josh Matthews, Booker T, Alex Riley, and Santino in character. Good Lord, I hope I can withstand 30 minutes of Santino, but the good news is this means he’s likely not on Raw! Riley drops some Nelly lyrics in respect to St. Louis and Booker gives him a look. We move on to last week’s Daniel Bryan/Kane angle, including video footage and panel discussion.
– Highlights from last week’s issues between John Cena and the Wyatt Family. The fans vote all 3 Wyatts vs. Cena last week. Panel discusses their Extreme Rules Match.
– Clips of the Shield and Evolutions issues from last Monday, and video of the Shield taking wrestlers out last week on Smackdown. Panel discusses the 6-man match at Extreme Rules. Booker says the Shield might not “know their beans from their cornbread”.
– IC Contender tournament talk, clips from last week. We see Swagger cost Cesaro. It’s RVD vs. Barrett in the finals tonight. Renee Young interviews Barrett, and he has some GOOD NEWS! He will be the #1 contender after tonight and win the IC Title at Extreme Rules on Sunday.
– Emma pops into the panel to say hello with her pink sock/cobra. She gets no speaking role, but she manages to cobra strike Alex Riley, who sells it for 2 seconds, so apparently he’s tougher than most of the WWE Roster.
– BO-LIEVE promo.
– Clips from last weeks Rhodes Brothers dissention, and Rybaxel attacking the Usos. Byron Saxton interviews the Usos about tonight’s tag title match vs. Rybaxel.
– The announcers are on their way out, and we’re ready to go… Oh yeah, Hugh Jackman is here. Joy.
WWE Monday Night Raw 4/28/14 from Scottrade Center in Saint Louis, MO
– We kick off Raw with a Steel Cage surrounding the ring. Out comes John Cena. John questions the fans why they voted against him last week and made it 3 on 1. The fans respond “You Suck”. Cena just keeps asking the fans WHY? Cena says you either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain. Ten years ago Cena got the biggest response of his career in this arena, but tonight it’s changed. Cena puts over all the new talent… Except Wyatt. He says Wyatt isn’t the same as the others, he doesn’t love wrestling, he loves himself.
Apparently this cage will keep the Wyatt Family out of the ring at Extreme Rules, even though they got into the Elimination Chamber. Cena doesn’t want Wyatt to escape the cage because that means his message will escape the cage.
The lights go out and we hear a young child singing “He’s got the whole world in his hands”. The lights come on and there’s an entire CHILDREN’S CHOIR singing the song on the stage. The lights go back out and Bray Wyatt appears singing the song. Wyatt leads the children’s choir to the ring, and I have NO IDEA WTF is going on now…
Wyatt sings “He’s got the whole CENAtion in his hands”. The camera pans to the children around ringside, and they’re all wearing sheep masks and Wyatt laughing. Bray sits in his rocking chair with a sheep child on his knee. Cena looks disturbed in the ring. I’m not even quite sure what to make of this one…
What… in the HELL was that???? Wow…
-Commercial Break-
1. WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos vs. Ryback & Curtis Axel. Jey gets the better of Axel to start and Ryback tags in. Ryback takes over but misses a splash. Jimmy Uso tags in and Rybaxel is tossed to the floor. The Usos land stereo dives to the floor, with Jey Uso selling an ankle injury following the dive. We go to break as I go warm up my coffee….
Back from break, got my coffee and Jimmy Uso is taking a beat down while brother Jey is being checked on by ringside doctors. Ryback and Axel try a Double Superplex, but Jimmy sends Ryback off the ropes and front suplexes Axel down on top of Ryback. Jimmy makes a hot tag to injured brother Jey… Jey on fire, superkick on Ryback, Samoan Drop on Axel, and the Rikishi butt ram in the corner on Axel for a very near fall… Bad timing on a spot and Axel is forced to muscle Uso over with a back suplex, and Ryback with a spinebuster for 2… Ryback sets up for the meathook clothesline, but runs into a big superkick for another near fall!!! Damn, pretty good match, I think Ryback has found his calling in tag wrestling. Ryback fights back and hits a big clothesline, then sets up for shell shock….
Jey Uso wiggles free and counters with a sunset flip for 2… Rybaxel double team Jey, but Jey makes a blind tag to Jimmy… Jey superkicks Ryback from the ring… AXEL LANDS THE PERFECT PLEX ON JEY!!!! But Jimmy comes off the top rope with a diving splash on Axel for 1….2…3!!!! Usos retain in 11:30 of a really good match…. There’s no reason this couldn’t have been on PPV rather than some of the other crap…
-Commercial Break-
– Adam Rose Promo. They’re playing Hungry, Hungry, Hippos. Next stop… Monday Night Raw… Next Week…
– Backstage Paul Heyman and Cesaro chat… Heyman isn’t happy with RVD’s comments about Paul last week… Paul isn’t happy with RVD, and the last guy he wasn’t happy with was the Undertaker… Paul basically asks Cesaro to handle RVD, without actually asking him.
– Highlights from last week’s Kane/Daniel Bryan segment. Stephanie will be here tonight to make a public apology. Boy, I can’t wait…
-Commercial Break-
Sheamus starts to make his way out for action, and barely gets into posing position when he is clobbered from behind in the stage from Titus O’Neil… Oooookayyyy…. At least they’re trying, even if it doesn’t work…
2. Sheamus vs. Titus O’Neil. The referee gives Sheamus a brief moment to recover before calling the bell to start the match… Titus right back on Sheamus, and BROGUE KICK OUT OF NOWHERE… Sheamus with the win in 36 seconds… Well, that did a lot for Mr. O’Neil…
I guess this was there way to make sure they squeezed a second match into the first hour…
– Kofi Kingston gets stuck in a suit advertising the WWE Network…
-Commercial Break-
– We’ve got Dolph Ziggler in the ring to promote the new X-Men movie featuring Hugh Jackman. Speaking of Hugh, Ziggler brings Mr. Wolverine Jackman out next. Now that they’ve kissed Jackman’s ass, he reciprocates and puts over Raw… We move on to video footage from 2 years ago of Jackman nailing Ziggler, leading to Zack Ryder getting the pin. Dolph shoots and says that Swagger has kicked him harder than that. The two men shake hands and bury the hatchet….
Damien Sandow comes out in a goofy looking MAGNETO costume that’s too big for him, and for the first time in months he’s entertaining… Sandow cuts a good promo, and I continue to wonder who he pissed off to get put in his current position… Sandow legit trips on his cape and Dolph makes fun.
Fans chant “kick his ass” to which Sandow quips “don’t tell me what to do”. This is so bad, it’d good… Sandow made his Magneto costume… Jackman wants to touch the quality work… Sandow uses his “magnetism” powers to keep them silent… It doesn’t work… Fake magnetic noise begins to play over the speakers as Magneto Sandow draws the microphone from Jackman’s hand… Jackman plays along before throwing the mic at Sandow and hiptossing him, and then a ZIGZAG from Ziggler on Sandow to end the segment…
I can’t make this up peoples…..
-Commercial Break-
3. Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman) vs. Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter). I see Swagger is working on yet another ridiculous hairdo. Heyman cuts some of his usual good promo stuff before the match… Oh Lord, Cesaro still has the air raid siren music from last week, I had hoped they’d retire that after one week… Some very cool reversals begin things leading to Cesaro hitting a pair of gut wrench suplex… Swagger goes to the floor, Cesaro follows him out with a double axe handle off the ropes… Jack comes back driving Cesaro into the barricade and back in the ring for 2… Swagger takes over while Lawler tells some really outdated jokes to no response…Time for a new book King… Big boot by Swagger for 2… Cesaro comes back and Zeb Colter trips him up… Paul heyman attacks Colter by grabbing him by the mustache… Swagger becomes distracted and Cesaro lands a bridging German for the win in 3:10…
– Renee Young stops John Cena backstage to ask him to comment on the Bray Wyatt stuff from earlier… John has no response, then walks away…
-Commercial Break-
– We see a shot of Kane’s mask inside a glass case backstage, letting us know the demon is away in a safe place…. $100 says the mask will disappear right before the Bryan segment. 😉
4. Cody Rhodes (w/Goldust) vs. Alberto Del Rio. For as much as I was against Del Rio in the main events, I almost feel sorry for how far down he has fallen. I blame the unification of the two top titles as the reason why a whole lot of guys are lost in the shuffle now… ADR attacks Cody to start. Rhodes battles back and tries a springboard but ADR blocks it… Cody stays in control momentarily before ADR locks on the cross armbreaker as the crowd makes no noise… Cody fights the hold but eventually taps in a little over 3:30…
Cody walks off upset with Goldust trailing behind him, trying to talk to his younger brother…
-Commercial Break-
It’s Lana, and I can only encourage everyone to check out her recent Instagram photos….
5. Alexander Rusev (w/Lana) vs. Xavier Woods (w/R-Truth). Rusev does his usual mauling of Woods. Swinging spike slam and the Acoolade looks to end it but R-Truth interferes to give Rusev the DQ win in under a minute.
Truth fights with Rusev, Truth pulls the top rope down and Rusev falls out of the ring. Rusev tries to get back in but takes an inzuigiri and is forced to leave by Lana…
– Make-A-Wish footage with John Cena. The Make-A-Wish kids are in the front row…
– Renee Young is with Rob Van Dam. Zeb Colter interrupts RVD. Colter wants to work with RVD to end their common enemy, Paul Heyman. RVD declines. Colter doesn’t look happy… I smell a triple threat at Extreme Rules… RVD vs. Cesaro vs. Swagger…
-Commercial Break-
6. Los Matadores (w/Torito) vs. Drew McIntyre & Heath Slater (w/Hornswoggle & Jinder Mahal). More old jokes from Lawler, and they belong in this match. Matadores on the offense over both #MB members. Jinder tries to keep Torito and Horny separated and he gets gored in the butt… One of the Matadores comes out to break it up, while back in the ring Heath Slater hits some cool looking DDT on the other Matador for the 1…2…3… Holly poop, 3MB WON A MATCH!!!!! HEATH SLATER WINS!!! HEATH SLATER WINS!!! HEATH SLATER WINS!!! Match goes maybe 2:15…
JBL: Barry Horowitz is spinning in his grave, and he isn’t even dead!
After the match Torito takes out Hornswoggle, then hits a top rope dive to the floor on Heath Slater… It’s a shame when your mascot is the star of the group…
The Extreme Rules Preshow match will feature Torito vs. Hornswoggle in a “Wee”LC match…
-Commercial Break-
– On Main Event tomorrow it’s Sheamus vs. Bray Wyatt!
– Stephanie McMahon on her way to the ring to make a public apology to Bryan… Daniel is invited out, he’s out with Brie Bella at the top of the stage… #1. The Brie stuff isn’t needed and won’t work long term. #2. I’m cool with the beard, but do something with that hair Bryan…. Bryan comes out with a neck brace, says he almost believed Stephanie but everyone knows she’s full of crap… Some back and forth banter about the incident, how Brie Bella felt, how sorry Stephanie is, how Steph tried to give Kane a backbone again, but he went too far…
Steph continues to sell her sorrow, but Daniel isn’t buying it…. McMahon tries to lure Bryan to the ring, Bryan declines and discusses his injuries… But he WILL be at Extreme Rules… Stephanie mentions Kane’s mask being locked in her office and Kane’s whereabouts unknown… Stephanie can’t make Bryan wrestle tonight, but she can make Brie wrestle… Stephanie books a match with Brie Bella challenging Paige for the Divas Championship, RIGHT NOW…..
Bryan says he’s going to watch Brie’s back for the match, Stephanie is cool with that… What do you know? Brie just happens to be wearing gear…
– We go to the back, and somebody owes me $100 because KANE’S MASK IS GONE!!!!!! IT’S GONE!!! OH NO!!!! The Monster is loose!!!!!
When we come back, it’s Divas title action, but Kane is roaming nearby!!!! OH MY!!!!
End dramatic sequence…
-Commercial Break-
7. WWE Divas Champion Paige vs. Brie Bella (w/Daniel Bryan). Probably not the best way to keep Paige a baby face here. In fact, Paige is working heel. Perfect Plex by Paige for 2… Paige in super heel mode for this match, which is odd since she’s working Tamina at the PPV… Crowd really doesn’t care about the match until Brie takes over on offense… Paige fights back with a SUPERPLEX!!!! The announcers glance over it as if it were a hiptoss… EXPLOSIONS!!! DAMN IT ALL!!!! IT’S KANE’S MUSIC…. BUT WHERE IT KANE?????
Paige gets the hell out of the ring and this match is pretty much a throw away after a couple of minutes…
KANE CUTS THROUGH THE CANVAS!!! HE’S UNDER THE RING!!!!! THE DREADED RED LIGHTING EFFECT MAKES IT ALL THE MORE SCARY BY GAWD!!!! Kane grabs Brie and tries to DRAG HER STRAIGH TO HEELLLLLLLLLLL…. Bryan fights with kane and gets tossed… Kane goes after Brie again… Daniel Bryan blasts Kane WITH A WRENCH!!!! DOWN GOES KANE!!! Bryan checks on Brie, and KANE SITS UP!!!! KANE CHOKESLAMS BRYAN!!!
Kane tries to drag Brie to hell, where there are no kidnapping laws… But Brie escapes!!!!! Pyro goes off for the monster… Bryan is being checked on at ringside as Kane laughs…
-Commercial Break-
– The announcers are still freaked out from the scary red lights and pyro from last segment… Personally, I’m more curious to see how they fixed the ring canvas so fast… Guess I’ve been a fan too long…
– Backstage Daniel is with the doctors while Brie shakes in absolute terror… Stephanie pops in, crying and apologizing… She is SO sorry… Stephanie wants to know if Bryan will be able to wrestle at Extreme Rules… Bryan says HE WILL BE THERE… Daniel tells Steph she will be sorry for bringing Brie into this… Brie shouts to Stephanie , “Get out, You Bitch!”….
– Renee Young with John Cena, he’s ready to talk… He apologizes for snubbing Renee earlier… The mind games stop this Sunday, Cena has special plans…
– Bad News Barrett, in his gear, is elevated a couple stories up into the air for some baaaaad news… the gavel bangs… WWE’s slogan is THEN, NOW, FOREVER… RVD’s slogan should just be THEN…. He’s been irrelevant for years… Barrett does the RVD pointing but calls himself BNB.
-Commercial Break-
Finals of the #1 Contender Tournament for the Intercontinental Championship.
8. Rob Van Dam vs. Bad News Barrett. One of these two guys will meet Big E at Extreme Rules for the IC Title… Pretty sure it’s obvious, but let’s see what happens, shall we? Some back and forth offense as it gets going, Big E is shown watching in the back… RVD sends Barrett to the floor and hits a moonsault off the apron. Back inside, RVD grabs a side headlock, but Barrett dumps him to the floor… BNB works on RVD outside, then back in for a 2 count… Van Dam fights back with a body scissor roll up for 2. Rob tries a jumping spot in the corner, but comes Barrett boots him in the gut on the way down to a big response from the fans… RVD rolls from the ring to sell on the floor, and you know what that means… Time for a commercial!
Back from break, and per the usual the heel has the face in a chinlock and the face almost immediately breaks free for a comeback… RVD does break free, but Barrett cuts him right back off… Neckbreaker by Barrett gets 2… Another chinlock by BNB. RVD comes back, countering a knee with a roll up and then a kick to the face… RVD tries Rolling Thunder but Barrett gets up, RVD hits a spin kick to take BNB back down… RVD looks to the top rope when CESARO climbs onto the apron… Jack Swagger is right out behind him and Swagger and Cesaro go at it on the floor…
Barrett tries to sneak in a Bull Hammer on RVD, but Van Dam ducks and lays out BNB… ROLLING THUNDER…. Aand RVD goes up for the Five Star Frog Splash, but Cesaro climbs onto the apron… RVD knocks him off, but RVD loses his chance at Barrett and Wade lands the BULL HAMMER ELBOW for the 1…2..3… in 11:00….
Barrett wins and will face Big E on Sunday… BNB gets out of the ring with no time to celebrate to let the other 3 get their angle in…
Cesaro lays out RVD after the match, then Swagger lays out Cesaro, then RVD lays out Swagger, and RVD hits the Frog Splash on Cesaro after the match to close out the segment… Three way at Extreme Rules I would assume… but some BAD NEWS for Big E…
– Michal Cole reminds us that Extreme Rules will NOT be on DirecTV or DISH, but you can get it on the Network… Screw you satellite!!!
– Backstage promo by the Shield. Talking about how Rolex watches, nice suits, and limos don’t make you the best, they’re to cover up inadequacies… The Shield are what’s up… BELIEVE THAT!!!
-Commercial Break-
It’s Evolution… HHH gets to do the talking… Shocker… The Shield are starting to remind him of Evolution… But the problem is, Evolution is still here…And out comes the Shield….
The two teams stand face to face when…
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
It’s RIC FLAIR!!!! And Evolution is smiling…. Evolution applaud as Flair enters the ring…
Flair talks about the Four Horsemen, then Evolution as time went on… And greatness comes full circle… Flair keeps putting over men in the ring without mentioning any names… It becomes clear he’s not talking about Evolution, but rather The Shield!!! Flair endorses the Shield, and then just leaves the ring… Crowd seemed confused and there was little reaction from the wrestlers to help things along… The crowd is silent, Michael Cole sells it like the crowd is stunned, but I think everyone is just confused… There was no explanation and then Flair just left…
It looks like Flair has EVOLVED and ADAPTED…
9. Randy Orton (w/HHH & Batista) vs. Roman Reigns (w/Ambrose & Rollins). Crowd is absolutely DEAD for this match, I think the Flair stuff just really confused the hell out of them. lol… Anyway, back and forthg and it spills to the floor where Roman suplexes Orton. Orton throws Reigns into the steel steps… Orton tries the suspended DDT back inside, but Reigns breaks free… Reigns on the offense now, hits the dropkick up onto the apron and sets up for the spear, but HHH grabs his leg…The distraction allows Orton to hit a backbreaker on Reigns…
Things break down with HHH & Batista brawling with Ambrose and Rollins… Evolution lay the Shield out outside, but inside Reigns lands the Superman Punch on Orton… Reigns leaves the ring to help his partners, but Evolution attack Roman 3 on 1 and we get a DQ in favor of Reigns in 5:00…
After the match it’s Evolution fun time… HHH, Orton & Batista lay out the Shield. HHH hits a spinebuster on Ambrose on the floor… Reigns gets throws into the steel post…
It wouldn’t be HHH if it wasn’t overkill…
The attack just keeps going… crowd isn’t really into it… HHH goes for the pedigree on Reigns, but Rollins out of nowhere with a springboard attack on HHH, and a pele style kick on Batista…. Roman Reigns SPEARS HHH!!!
The Shield try a Triple Powerbomb on HHH, but Batista and Orton distract and HHH takes off….
The Shield stand tall as the show ends…
WWE Raw “Backstage Pass” Post Show
– Raw ran over quite a bit this week, so this won’t be going too long… The panel discuss the Shield vs. Evolution match to start things off… You can hear dark match action going on in the background…
– Renee Young stands by with Ric Flair. To be the man, you’ve got to beat the man. Right now the man is Evolution.
– Daniel Bryan vs. Kane discussion. Clips from earlier shown in between…
– They’ve got about 3 minutes left to rush and plug the Cena vs. Wyatt match
– Not sure what the dark match was, but it ended at 11:29 eastern. Cena’s music was playing after the match…
– Triple Threat Match announced for Extreme Rules, as expected, RVD vs. Swagger vs. Cesaro.
That’s all!
