WWE Raw Preshow Notes…
Our panel this week is Josh Matthews, Alex Riley, Booker T and Bad News Barrett… Does Barrett even wrestle? Easiest job on the roster…
– Tonight on Raw, Batista vs. Randy Orton, plus Undertaker’s Final Message to Brock Lesnar. How stupid is it to stick Batista vs. Orton on a show 6 days before WrestleMania? Unless they have some major angle planned, which I doubt, I think it’s a stupid move as the fans don’t want to see it as is, much less twice in a week.
– Renee Young interviews Randy Orton. Orton thinks everyone has forgotten about him, they all talk about HHH, Bryan, and Batista. He’s insulted, and he’s going to make sure people don’t forget about him tonight.
– Discussion of the Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania…
– Jerry Lawler is out in the crowd interviewing some fans.
– Vote Tonight… Which member of Shield should fight Kane tonight on Raw? Hmmm, that’s a tough one…
– Discussion of John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt. Video package follows, Cena admits he’s scared. More discussion of the match with the panel. Almost everyone believes Bray will win, which makes me worry…
– Clip of Michael Cole interviewing Hulk Hogan about the history of WrestleMania… Leads to discussion of the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Riley picks Big Show. Booker picks Big E. Brad Maddox shows up and interrupts the panel. Maddox announces the latest entrant into the Battle Royal, HIMSELF. Brad Maddox has entered the Battle Royal. That shouldn’t last long… For some reason, Barrett isn’t even offended, yet Riley is…
– Hype for tomorrow’s WrestleMania Press Conference, which will air live on the Network. Hall of Fame commercial follows…
– Final hype for tonight’s Raw, the announcers make their way out as we get things going…[spacer height=”20px”]
WWE Monday Night Raw 3/31/14 from The Verizon Center in Washington, DC
– We kick things off right away with THE UNDERTAKER!!!! As he makes his slow walk to the ring, we take a look back to last week and the confrontation between he and Brock. Undertaker makes it to the ring, he talks about being 21-0, and he’ll keep the streak because he will go further than anyone else. Undertaker mentions Brock wondering how he’s going to break the streak. Undertaker says Brock should be thinking about what the reaper is going to do with him. He uses some sinking or swimming metaphors, so far everyone he has fought has never made it back to shore. Taker knows Brock is dangerous, and that people think it’s inevitable that the streak will be broken. Taker says he’s not better than any of his foes, he will just take things further… But many more believe in 3 things that can’t be beat, death, taxes, and the streak… This Sunday, Brock will rest…in…peace….
BUT HERE COMES BROCK LESNAR!!! They wisely stay at the top of the ramp… Huge boos for Heyman and Lesnar… Brock doesn’t HAVE to win this match as much as Undertaker needs not to lose….okay… “CM Punk” chants during Heyman’s promo. Heyman says when Brock beats Taker, it will be the most historic moment since Hulk beat Andre… Lesnar walks down the aisle to the bottom of the ramp, but decides not to challenge the Undertaker tonight. Even if Lesnar were to win Sunday, Brock really needs to get over on Taker at least once to make this match feel more important heading in. Brock teases attacking Taker again, but laughs and walks off.
Heyman pretends a sneak attack with a chair to distract Taker, and Brock jumps the reaper. F5 ON THE UNDERTAKER!!!!!
I was hoping for something a little more aggressive, but at least they left Brock standing for once… Well played… That’s one WrestleMania match down… Plenty more final builds to go…
-Commercial Break-
1. IC Champion Big E vs. Alberto Del Rio. Non-title, of course. Both of these guys are in the Battle Royal… Del Rio gets the jump, but Big E turns things around with a pair of shoulder blocks and an Ultimate Warrior Gorilla Press drop. Big E misses a shoulder into the corner post and Del Rio starts to work the arm… Two minutes in and they go to commercial…
Back from break, Del Rio still on the arm of Big E… E counters with a suplex, but Del Rio comes right back and applies a cross armbreaker, hanging upside down over the top rope… Forced to break, Del Rio climbs to the top rope, but he’s caught in mid air by Big E with a backbreaker. Comeback time with some clotheslines and a belly to belly… Langston with the big Warrior Splash… Man this guy loves Warrior… Too bad he misses, Del Rio gets his knees up. Del Rio misses the big kick, and Big E counters by throwing Del Rio high in the sky and dropping him on his stomach. Big E tries for the Big Ending, Del Rio counters with the Back Stabber for a near fall… Good spot there…
Del Rio tries the cross armbreaker, but Big E counters with a backdrop and BIG SPLASH… Big E drops the straps, trying for the Big Ending again, but Del Rio counters by dropping Big E’s arm into his knee and applying the cross armbreaker…. Big E fights it and PICKS DEL RIO UP IN THE AIR WITH THE CROSS ARMBREAKER APPLIED! Big E slams Alberto and covers for a 2 count… Both men are fighting on the top rope, Big E leans backwards and Del Rio rides his chest down with a DOUBLE STOMP OFF THE TOP!!! Nice!!! Del Rio SUPERKICK..1……..2………3…. Del Rio wins in 10:00…
The first half of the match sucked, but wow it got pretty good in the second half… Surprisingly good match in the end…
Which member of the Shield should fight Kane tonight on Raw? VOTE NOW!!!
-Commercial Break-
A clip from last week with John Cena tied up in the ropes with the sheep mask on. “This is Awesome” chants… God I loved that…
– We hear from the The Wyatt Family. It’s a backstage interview… Bray cuts another great promo on John Cena, and life in general… Bray says that when it’s over the fans will see John Cena the same way he does, for the monster that he is. He’s got the whole world in his hands!
– Total Divas highlights… Natalya and Summer Rae argue over who has the more irritating nose, Summer slaps Natalya and Nattie tells her to get off her property… Summer makes her way to the ring for some Divas action… Not sure how this helps build the Divas Title match, but whatever…
-Commercial Break-
2. Natalya vs. Summer Rae. Vickie Guerrero at ringside for commentary… Vickie explains that all 14 Divas will be in the ring at the same time at Mania, and it’s one fall to a finish… Wow, that doesn’t sound like a clusterf*ck or anything… It took them a week to come up with the rules of the match, now they have a week to prepare… Scary thought… Back to the match, chinlock by Summer, and she misses a legdrop. Natalya kicks her face off, hits a pair of suplexes. Summer responds with a SLAP, and Nattie SLAPS HER BACK… They botch some kind of spot and Natalya goes for a sharpshooter. Summer escapes and tries to leave, Nattie grabs her by the hair and Rae kicks her in the head for the win in 2:00… This was bad… Add 12 more Divas to the equation… WrestleMania, here we come…
So AJ Lee isn’t even in the Divas Title segment for Mania??? Take THAT CM Punk!!!
– The Authority on their way out to bid farewell to the YES Movement…
-Commercial Break-
– The Authority are on their way to the ring… Stephanie as irritating as ever… HHH says people just latch onto things like the YES Movement to feel important. They bring up last year’s flavor of the month with Fandango’s music… HHH mocks Fandango, then puts him over… How nice of him… HHH and Stephanie continue to mock the fans, Steph says Bryan won’t be here tonight… HHH says no matter how much the fans chant “YES” it won’t make Bryan an “A+ Player”.
HHH says his dominance was the reason he was at the top, not who he married… “BORING” Chants… HHH rolls a video showing how easy it is to suck the fans in… Clips of Booker T, RVD, Scott Steiner, Jeff Hardy, Goldberg, Mick Foley, Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle, and probably others… These so called flavors of the month and “false idols” were all outdone by HHH, who has withstood him all… Oh yeah, Stephanie does the voiceover work for this package, which makes the whole thing unentertaining… If that’s a word… There is only one HHH…
After burying all the guys in the video, HHH says they were all Hall of Famers… This guy cracks me up… All those guys were just players in the game, whereas HHH is the game….
Not only is HHH going to beat Bryan at Mania, he’s also going to win the WWE World Championship!!! That’s what we need, the COO of the company as champion… Only in wrestling… Or Sports Entertainment….
HERE COMES BATISTA…. Can’t wait to see who people hate worse… Batista sporting that grandpa hat, hopefully his pants don’t split this week… Tister thinks what HHH is doing is cute, but he noticed he wasn’t in the vide… That’s because HHH has never beaten him… HHH tries to bury Batista… Tister says HHH is the brains, Stephanie is the brawn…
OUT COMES RANDY ORTON… They must be short on time, Orton’s music cuts almost immediately, he starts cutting the promo as he power walks to the ring… Orton agrees with the triple threat match at Mania, he doesn’t like it, but it is best for business. Orton says he knows HHH will beat Bryan, and he’ll be honored to wrestle HHH…. Orton asks HHH to reconsider being in the Triple Threat Match… HHH says no amount of ass kissing is going to get him out of this…
HHH says Orton will lose the title unless he can find the Viper inside him again… HHH says Orton vs. Batista tonight will now be a NO DQ Match!!!
-Commercial Break-
3. The Usos & Los Matadores vs. The Real Americans (w/Colter) & Ryback and Curtis Axel. This 4 Way Tag Title match has been moved to the preshow of Mania. 8-Man Tag here tonight. Ryback starts with an Uso… Usos all over Ryback, and a double superkick drops him… Ryback fights back and tags to Axel… Axel doesn’t fair any better… Double team action by Los Matadores on Axel. Killer Bees spot, Fernando drops down while Axel jumps over right into a dropkick from Diego. Lots of beating on Axel, Cesaro finally tags in and the Real Americans take over on an Uso for a bit… Uso clears the ring of all four heels and tags to a Matador… Dives by an Uso and a Matador to the floor. Jey Uso off the top on Swagger with a cross body for 2… Jack knocks Jey off the apron into the barricade… Swagger looks like he hurt his nose… We’ve got an Uso down out on the floor as we go to commercial…
Back from break, Cesaro maintains control for his team… Dueling chants of “We the People” and “Let’s Go Usos”… The Real Americans are in the right city…. Cesaro catches Uso and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2… Ryback tries a back suplex, but Uso counters with springing bulldog… Ryback tags Curtis… Axel tries to prevent a tag but the hot tag is made to Jimmy Uso… Jimmy Uso with a Samoan Drop on Axel… Ryback stops a pinfall, but eats a superkick. Curtis Axel rolls up Jimmy Uso for a near fall… Superkick to Axel… Swagger lays out Jimmy, but Matador breaks it up… Cesaro nails the Matador, tries for the Cesaro Swing but is thrown outside the the Matador hits a somersault dive on him to the floor… Jack tries a Swagger bomb but misses, Jimmy Uso hot tag to Diego… Diego jumps off the top rope right into an ANKLE LOCK!!! It’s broken up by Jimmy Uso… Swagger takes out Jimmy Uso while the Matadores do an illegal switch!!! More Killer Bees shtick!!!
Swagger gets rolled up by the illegal Matador, and the fan favorites get the win in 14:30…
-Commercial Break-
4. Cody Rhodes & Goldust vs. Damien Sandow & Fandango (w/Summer Rae). Some back and forth, Cody teases a moonsault early… The heels eventually take over on Cody… Sandow looks like he’s going for a Sharpshooter or something, Cody kicks him off and tags to Goldust… Goldust takes both men to town, and hits a top rope reverse body block on both guys… Snap powerslam by Goldust to Sandow for 2 before Fandango breaks it up… Cody back in with a double jump dive on Fandago to the floor… Goldust hits the “Final Cut” corkscrew suplex on Sandow for the win in 4:00…
-Commercial Break-
– Shield vs. Kane feud video is shown… The Outlaws are now henchmen… Vote for who fights Kane tonight!
– Shield Promo. Kane sucks… That’s pretty much the gist…
– The Wyatts are here!!! Bray Wyatt and company make their way to the ring…
-Commercial Break-
5. R-Truth (w/Xavier Woods) vs. Bray Wyatt (w/Rowan & Harper). Bray just mauls Truth… Truth comes back with some of his token spots, but Bray just levels him with a flying body attack. More beating down on Truth… Wyatt just pounds the crap out of Truth forever… Modified swinging stomach breaker… Splash in the corner, Sister Abigail, and it’s over…. 1..2..3..in 4:30…
Xavier Woods gets laid out after the match…
The lights dim as the Wyatts celebrate when all of a sudden a fourth Wyatt family member wearing a sheep’s mask just pops up with them… The Wyatts are confused… Pretty hilarious… The mask comes off slowly… IT’S JOHN CENA…. It took the Wyatts that long to figure it out???
Cena lays out Harper, AA on Rowan, Cena tries an AAS on Bray, but Wyatt escapes and takes off out of the ring… The Wyatts retreat as Cena plays a little mind games in return…
This was actually a pretty fun segment… I don’t know that this felt like the last segment to drive the match home, but it was pretty cool nonetheless…
-Commercial Break-
6. Divas Champion AJ Lee vs. Naomi in a Lumberjill match… Non-Title. Okay so AJ DOES make the show.. The other 12 girls that are part of the WM match are playing the Lumberjacks… AJ knocks Naomi out of the ring on the face side and nobody touches her… AJ goes out after Naomi, and the Divas go after AJ… Good little back and forth with some kicks, AJ nails Naomi with a kick to the head and locks in a bodyscissors/sleeper combo… Naomi escapes but AJ hits a neckbreaker for 2… Vickie stands and watches the match from the stage. AJ says the title is hers forever, and gets laid out… Naomi comes back, sit-out Full Nelson bomb for 2… Naomi teases the split legged moonsault and AJ rolls out by Tamina, but it ALL BREAKS DOWN…. All 12 girls begin brawling on the floor, AJ rolls back in and turns into the REAR VIEW… Naomi gets the win in 4:30 or so… Take THAT CM Punk…
-Commercial Break-
– Renee Young is with John Cena in the backstage area. Cena cuts an intense promo about desperate times calling for desperate measures, and Bray continuing his propaganda… Cena says he’s going to put his foot in Wyatt’s Ass at Mania…
– We go to the Raw Panel, who discuss the Cena/Wyatt situation… Barrett has some BAD NEWS for Cena, it’s 3 on 1, and he’s going to lose… Suckaaaaa.
– Jerry Lawler stumbles over his words as we find out who will face Kane tonight… And it’s Reigns with 80% of the vote… What a surprise…. That match is next…
-Commercial Break-
7. Roman Reigns vs. Kane. Reigns starts things off but runs right into a big boot from Corporate Kane, who ha sat least removed the wife beater this week… Side Slam by Kane, and he sets up for the chokeslam. Reigns powers himself free and hits a variety of clotheslines and the dropkick onto the apron… Reigns sets up for the spear, and the New Age Outlaws make their way down… But the Shield attack the Outlaws in the aisle and there’s a brawl going on… Kane tries to attack Roman, but takes a Superman Punch… And the Shield begin to triple team Kane, causing a DQ win for Kane in 3:00…. The Shield set Kane up for a Triple Powerbomb, but the Outlaws pull him to safety…
-Commercial Break-
– It’s a Special WrestleMania edition of Piper’s Pit… I guess all of Roddy’s whiney messages to the WWE this past week, and his tweeting, amongst other posts he’s made has finally got him a spot on WrestleMania… 6 Days early…. Way to go Hot Rod! 29 years ago today was the first WrestleMania and Piper got to be a part of the Main Event… Piper points out he wasn’t the one who got pinned… Roddy puts over Andre the Giant and the Battle Royal… Piper sounds drunk, we’re definitely getting “Bad Piper” tonight… Piper is about the announce his favorite to win when he’s cut off…
Here comes the Miz, he cuts Piper off… They go back and forth… Miz says he’s going to win… Unlike Piper, Miz has won the main event of WrestleMania…
Sheamus cuts them off… This segment is bombing already… Piper is terrible here… Sheamus puts over Piper, but says he’s winning the Royale with Cheese…
Titus O’Neil is going to win now too… Titus barks at Piper…
Dolph Ziggler is going to win too, now…
Piper has had enough, he knocks Miz into Shemaus, and the wrestlers start to brawl. Several more wrestlers come out from the back, and the crowd just shits all over this segment as everyone starts brawling…
Here comes Rey Mysterio! Get gets entrance music!!! Sin Cara and Rey going at it, but the crowd quickly loses interest again… Even with faces hitting finishers… Brogue Kick…. 619….
BIG SHOW gets entrance music as well…. Everyone gangs up on show… he throws them all off… Show lays everyone out… Double chokeslam on Ziggler and Ryder… Rey Mysterio is left in the ring with Show, 619 to the balls of the Big Show… Rey off the top but Show catches him and presses him out of the ring onto the wrestlers outside…
Piper holds Show’s hand up in victory… Show was Piper’s favorite to win the whole thing… He is a GIANT after all…
LOL, they flew Piper in to do nothing… At least he got a payday…
I think this segment somehow took away what little interest I had in the match at WM….
-Commercial Break-
8. WWE Champion Randy Orton vs. Batista in a NO DQ MATCH. Non-Title as we head into our final segment of the go home show for WrestleMania… HHH & Stephanie come to ringside for the match… The fights on the floor, Batista nails Orton with a chair, Orton throws Dave into the announce table. HHH & Stephanie on commentary… Steph is so annoying, like “go away” annoying… Orton now with the chair on Batista. Gotta love these new aluminum chairs they use, sound like baking sheets…
They finally end up in the ring, but it doesn’t last long… Batista rams Randy into the announce table… HHH says he wants to see the Animal.. Batista drives Orton into the ring apron and grabs another chair… Orton finds a kendo stick out of nowhere and starts whacking Batista with it… Tister reverses a whip into the steps and Orton goes down….
Batista sets up for the Batista Bomb, but Orton counters with the around the back backbreaker. Suspension DDT on Batista… Orton plays to the crowd…
DANIEL BRYAN OUT OF NOWHERE ATTACKS HHH FROM BEHIND ON THE FLOOR!!!! FANS GONE WILD….. Orton finally pulls Bryan off and throws him into the steps… Orton rolls back inside into a Batista spear…. Bryan takes Batista out with a running knee…
Bryan with a suicide dive on HHH…. HHH keeps trying to flee but Bryan just keeps beating the crap out of him… YES Kicks, Bryan finds the kendo stick and beats HHH with that… Finally HHH escapes, with Stephanie dragging him up the aisle… Bryan stands on the ropes with the fans chanting YES! The show ends with Daniel Bryan pointing to the WrestleMania XXX sign and looking down at a pissed off HHH….
That’s it for Raw… See you at WrestleMania…
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WWE Raw “Backstage Pass” Post Show
– Bryan still celebrating… My only issue is, he attacked in his gear… That was a bit odd…
– D Bryan joins the panel… He’s not 100%, but neither is most of the locker room, but he loves this and he’s going to WrestleMania… They talk about the “Farwell to the YES Movement” segment. Bryan talks about corporations trying to hold down the people, but it’s not going to happen anymore… This goes on for a bit… The panel is having fun with it, Barrett stays in his heel character the entire time… The Bryan segment goes the first 10 minutes of the post show…
– Panel turns to Taker/Lesnar. Booker compares Mike Tyson’s run, losing the Buster Douglas, to what could happen to Taker. Eventually you’re going to lose…
– Renee Young interviews Brock Lesnar & Heyman. Heyman says the Undertaker now knows Brock can beat him. Heyman thinks the psychological advantage is now in Brock’s possession.
– Panel talks Cena/Wyatt. Barrett continues to bring up the handicap factor with the Wyatt Family at ringside…
– This Friday on Smackdown, it’s Hulk Hogan, BROTHER!!!!
– Tag Title Match discussion for the preshow. Booker picks the Usos, Riley goes Real Americans… And we’re out…
The next time I join you with the Raw Report we’ll be one day removed from WrestleMania XXX… Until then, goodnight, and enjoy the show…
