WWE Raw Preshow Notes 3/30/15
– Since everyone was in town for Raw, this week’s preshow is LIVE from the SAP Center. The preshow is set up in the arena just like it was throughout 2014… Byron Saxton hosts with David Otunga and Corey Graves. No Scott Stanford, and he wasn’t seen at Raw either… Maybe he got the can…. I can dream.
– We go back to Mania and the last minutes of the main event. Rollins cashes in MITB and beats Lesnar and Reigns to become the NEWWWWWW WWE World Champion. The panel discusses the entire situation and then we get a clip of Rollins on the TODAY Show from this morning.
– Fandango takes on Swagger in the background for Superstars, Fandango wins.
– Brock Lesnar IS HERE tonight, and he will address last night.
– We go back to Sting vs. HHH and all of the run ins. RUN-IN-MANIA!!! Byron Saxton describes it as a “dream” of run ins. I’ll go along with that, it felt very cartoony/comic book to me, so I guess it feeling like a fantasy dream makes sense… The panel discusses the trips match while R-Truth is in action against Luke Harper and the crowd is absolutely ridiculously hot… for R-Truth no less…
– Now we have a look at the Authority/Rock and Rousey segment from last night. Several clips are shown and the panel discusses. Good God this ate up most of the preshow… R-Truth beats Harper… LAME
– The announcers do a pretty good job hyping all of tonight’s Raw with only a couple minutes left. Cena has issued an open challenge tonight, they talk Rusev/Lana situation, they talk Sandow/Miz… Should be a fun Raw…
The WWE Raw Report 3/30/15 from the SAP Center in San Jose, CA.
– If this is anything like the past few years, this should be the most fun Raw of the year… Looking forward to seeing what they have planned for the “new season” of WWE… Not so much looking forward to hearing HHH, Stephanie, and Seth gloat…
– BRRRRROCK Lesnar opens the show… Paul Heyman is already in the ring. Heyman talks about how Lesnar murdered #1 contender Roman Reigns. Heyman talks about how many times Lesnar suplexed Reigns, Suplex City Bitch. “Suplex city” chants. We move on to slimy Seth Rollins who stole the belt… Heyman is on the money as usual tonight… Heyman announces that LESNAR WILL CASH IN HIS RETURN MATCH CLAUSE….. TONIGHT!!!!! Crowd explodes…
Cue Stephanie McMahon… And here comes the bullshit. “Ronda Rousey” chants. Steph explains that Seth Rollins flew to NYC to do the Today show this morning. Therefore, Seth is still in the air and hasn’t arrived at the arena tonight yet. Stephanie has no doubt Rollins will be up for the challenge… Ugh cliffhanger BS with likely no payoff…
As Brock bounces around like a caged animal Paul Heyman offers a SPOILER for tonight. For the first time in over a decade Brock Lesnar will wrestle tonight on Raw… Over a decade? Wow… Heyman proclaims Brock will regain the title tonight… Assuming Seth will accept the challenge… Argh.
– IC Champion Bryan vs. Ziggler tonight, John Cena with a US Open Challenge
— Commercial Break —
1. IC Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler
Bad News Barrett on commentary, he says he will face the winner for the title. Dueling chants for the guys in the ring. Both men struggle for position, they get a little rough as they battle back and forth, the crowd is into it… Ziggler lands a head butt and Bryan lays in some nasty kicks. Bryan with the Mexican Suspended Ceiling and then he pulls Dolphs chin back to change up the hold. Back to their feet, Bryan does a back flip off the top to avoid Dolph but runs into a Ziggler dropkick… Ziggler then launches himself in a cross body that takes both men over the top to the floor as we head to break…
On the WWE App – Bryan has control back inside the ring. The two men get into a chop fight and stiff slug fest. Ziggler has Bryan down with a head scissors, Bryan tries to stand on his head to escape and ZIGGLER TURNS IT INTO A PILEDRIVER of sorts… NICE…. Ziggler continues to work over Bryan as we head back to USA>…
Back from break, Ziggler misses a corner splash and Bryan comes back with a pair of dropkicks in the corner… Ziggler crotches Bryan on the top rope, then Bryan crotches Ziggler on the top rope…. TOP ROPE BACK SUPERPLEX BY BRYAN… he covers Ziggler…1…………..2…………..Dolph kicks out!
Bryan with some Yes kicks, he goes for the YES LOCK, Ziggler counters and escapes… They struggle for a backslide and the crowd applaudes… Ziggler sends Bryan shoulder first into the post, but Bryan blocks a Zigzag… Daniel charges right into a ZIGGLER SUPERKICK…1………….2………….Bryan escapes…. Both men down and the crowd GIVE THIS MATCH A STANDING OVATION!!!! And a YES CHANT for the match.
Both men trade shots. They trade headbutts… They beat the crap out of other with head butts… Ziggler knocks Bryan back into the corner with a big headbutt, and Bryan comes flying back out with the FLYING KNEE!!!! 1………….2……………3……….. BRYAN WINS in 11:49!!!!
BAD NEWS BARRETT LEVELS BRYAN FROM BEHIND…. BULL HAMMER…..
Bad News looks to kill Bryan when SHEAMUS RETURNS!!!!! SHEAMUS RETURNS… SHEAMUS RETURNS….. WITH A…. SPIKED MOHAWK????????????
Sheamus chases Barrett off and begins to check on Bryan and Ziggler… BROGUE KICK TO BRYAN!!!!!!
Ziggler tries to fight Sheamus off but WHITE NOISE to Dolph and then a BROGUE KICK….
Sheamus has a spiked mohawk and his beard is done into 4 braids… Sheamus gets a gigantic “YOU LOK STUPID” chant… I’ll go along with that….
Sheamus on the mic. “I’m back”, and drops the mic…. FELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAA
– We learn that SETH ROLLINS has just arrived, and we will hear from Sting tonight on the Network following Raw…
— Commercial Break —
– WWE App interview with New Day… Basically Tom Phillips explains that they have sucked… And they pretty much agree… Kofi looks disenchanted with the entire promo… New Day will have a better year ahead… NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW DAYYYYYYYY. What what?
– Back on Raw it’s Hall of Fame highlights.
2. WWE Tag Champs Cesaro & Tyson Kidd, The Ascension vs. New Day (Big E & Kofi) & The Lucha Dragons
8-Man Tag. Amazing double flip entrance by Kalisto over the top rope. Cesaro and Cara immediately pick up the pace and the crowd is LOOUUUUDDDD. KALISTO GOES NUTS… STANDING BACKFLIP OFF CESARO’s SHOULDERS!!! Then a around the world spinning head scissors… AMAZING… Crowd explodes… “NEW…. DAY SUCKS” chant as Big E comes in to take on Konnor. Ascension with a nice double powerbomb spot on Cara for 2… We go to commercial.
On the App – The heel team works over Cara in their corner. Lots of Tyson Kidd offense during the break. More “New… DAY SUCKS” chants…
Back from break on USA, Cesaro Swing into a Tyson dropkick gets 2 on Cara when Kalisto breaks it up. Enzuigiri by Cara onto Ascnesion and hot tag to Kofi. “New… Day Sucks” once more as Kofi gets the hot tag and the crowd just boos the shit out of New Day. Wow, they’re getting less over every week. Kofi yells “NEW DAY” and the crowd replies SUCKS… LMAO. Kofi lays out Konnor and Cesaro lays out Kofi with a European Uppercut. Viktor tags himself in and the two heel teams argue… Meanwhile, Kalisto tags in and goes NUTS on Viktor…
Springboard double spin body block!!!! Rolling kick to the face…. kneeling huracan rana DDT… HOLY JESUS…. Amazing flow… Kalisto covers Viktor, Cesaro breaks it up. Big E rushes in and nails Cesaro with a over head belly to belly. Tyson springboards into a over head belly to belly from Big E and Tyson lands on Cesaro… Konnor lays Big E out with a big boot. Kofi & Cara send Konnor to the floor with a double dropkick. Cara backdrops Kingston out of the ring and onto Cesaro & Ascension on the floor… Inside, Viktor lays Cara out with an STO… Viktor turns into the SOLEIL DEL SOL from Kalisto… The Sit out standing sliced bread…. And 1……..2……………3 Kalisto wins in an amazing and impressive win in 10:03… And if Vince can get past the size, I think he sees dollar signs…
– Backstage, Brock is pacing in the locker room. Paul Heyman informs Brock that Seth Rollins is here.
– Adrian Neville Promo…. Neville on his way to the WWE. “NXT” chants
— Commercial Break —
– Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman on their way to the ring… Lesnar is ready for the match…. Seth Rollins out next with J&J Security and the WWE Title. Anyone who thinks this match is happening, at the end of hour one no less, is an idiot…
WWE World Champion Seth Rollins vs. Brock Lesnar
So they’re both in the ring. They both get announced and the match is getting ready when…. Seth Rollins decides he is jet lagged and his foot hurts from Curb Stomping everyone last night. Rollins says he’s a fighting champion, he will give the rematch but not tonight… Lesnar snaps and goes out after Seth… Rollins tries to escape through the crowd but Brock hooks him.. Lesnar knocks Seth around and throws him into the ring… Lesnar with a GERMAN SUPLEX but ROLLINS LANDS ON HIS FEET…, PELE KICK BY ROLLINS… LESNAR POPS RIGHT UP!!!!!!
Lesnar chases him out and hooks him in an F5 on the floor, but J&J Security pull Seth down and Rollins escapes through the crowd… DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE ON J&J on the flor. Brock realizes Seth is gone and HE GOES ABSOLUTELY BALLISTIC…
Brock flings the announce table over onto JBL and Booker T like nothing then tosses J&J Security across another table… Lesnar snags Michael Cole…. Heyman pleads with Brock, but…. F-5 TO MICHAEL COLE!!!!!!!!! F-5 TO THE “CAMERA MAN”!!!!!!!!
Stephanie McMahon comes out and suspends Brock indefinitely…. There ya go, kill this awesome heat…. “Bullshit chants”
Brock paces around…. F-5 to the camera man again!!!!!! CROWD IS NUTS….
Absolute insanity and carnage EVERYWHERE around ringside… We’ve got stretchers coming out…
On the WWE App, the camera man and Michael Cole are being checked on. Cole is put in a neck brace and stretchered out. Cole is playing dead, they shine lights into his eyes. There’s no commentary throughout this, obviously. There’s no way they clean this up during commercial.
— Commercial Break —
– Back on Raw, the camera man and Michael Cole are being stretchered out while the rest of the announce team are still taken out from getting womped with a fucking table!!! We go back and see highlights of the carnage.
– Backstage Renee Young talks with Stephanie McMahon. Stephanie is beside herself and explains her actions in suspending Brock Lesnar. Stephanie fines Brock Lesnar for all the damage and emotional stress he has caused. Stephanie mentions Brock just re-signed with them so he can’t go anywhere. Steph proclaims “I OWN THAT SON OF A BITCH”.
— Commercial Break —
– LMAO, Byron Saxton is the LONE announcer as we return. Saxton is standing behind the flipped over desk. lol
3. Damien Sandow vs. Stardust
Saxton’s commentary is the first bad thing on this show. He just sort of calls the show instead of adding emotion. Sadow removes his glasses to a pop. Saxton basically ignores the match a lot of the time, and talks about Brock Lesnar’s carnage. There’s long pauses in commentary. Sandow with offense early, Cody comes back and takes over. Saxton calls Stardust “Goldust”. Sandow with the Skull Crushing Finale out of nowhere for the win in 2:24…
The Miz attacks Sandow right after the match… Skull Crushing Finale on Sandow… Miz stands over Sandow and talks trash. “Asshole” chants. Miz tells Sandow this is his fault. Saxton disappears on commentary for the entire attack. I don’t even mind Saxton but he is TERRIBLE tonight. Miz soaks in the boos.
– Sting interview tonight on the Network after Raw. What’s next?
— Commercial Break —
– Back on Raw, it’s still Saxton behind the flipped desk… Cummon people set the desk up. We revisit clips of WrestleMania and the media leading in to the event. I don’t know if he’s supposed to be selling the Brock thing or if he’s just bombing, but Saxton really needs to ditch this monotone speech because it’s terrible and dragging a white hot show down.
– Curtis Axel in the ring. It took 29 men to eliminate him from the Andre Battle Royal. The road to AX-Treme Rules starts now…
4. Curtis Axel vs. NEVILLE
He’s ditched the “Adrian”. Vince hates first names that sound weak. Neville starts out with a top rope springboard moonsault to the floor onto Axel… And THEN the bell rings. Neville with a double handspring flip, another flip, flying forearms, all sorts of fast paced stuff… And then THE RED ARROW finishes Axel off in 1:11…
That was fun, but Saxton is choking it.
– John Cena’s open challenge is next… God I hope commentary picks up before Saxton kills yet another segment.
— Commercial Break —
– Byron Saxton still at ringside. We learn that Michael Cole may have received a cervical fracture. Wow, that was an abrupt way to write Cole out. I found this funny on Cole’s Wikipedia while it’s still there. “On March 30th, 2015, Michael Cole passed away at 9:42 P.M. after suffering head trauma at the hands of a ruthless F5 from Brock Lesnar during Monday Night Raw.”
– John Cena on his way to the ring. the fans “John Cena Suuuucks” to his theme music. The crowd aren’t in favor of Cena, but Cena puts over the crowd. Cena puts over their singing ability, so they continue to sing that he sucks. Cena calls out anyone for an open challenge…. Saxton says “here comes Rusev”… But instead we get…. DEAN AMBROSE!!!!! WOW. Didn’t he die last night?
5. US Champion John Cena vs. Dean Ambrose
Crowd solidly behind Ambrose. It’s back and forth, basic stuff, Cena actually takes a powder… And we go to commercial 2 minutes in.
On the App, Dean in control with a wrist lock, and THANK GOD, HERE COMES JERRY LAWLER TO JOIN COMMENTARY… Maybe the King will have the sense to turn the table back over. I know how hard that must be… Cena takes over with a chinlock. Dean escapes but CENA WITH A DROPKICK for 2… Back to the chinlock and we go back to USA.
Back from break, Ambrose makes the comeback and lands the bulldog. Dean off the top, Cena ducks and Dean lands on his feet. Cena with the You can’t see mee, but Ambrose nails John… lol. Cena with a BIG BOOT???? Dean comes back for his big clothesline, but Cena drops him with the Blue Thunder and the 5 knuckle shuffle as the crowd just boos… Cena tries the AA, but Ambrose counters with a sunset flip for 2….. AMBROSE CLOTHESLINES CENA OUT OF HIS SHOES… 1….2…. Cena kicks out.
Cena tries another AA, Dean escapes, and they trade punches. Ambrose with a Tornado DDT for a near fall. Cena rolls outside. Dean dives off the top rope with the elbow right onto Cena’s head on the floor… Awesome. Dean rolls Cena back inside and Cena catches Dean in the AA!!! 1……….2……… AMBROSE KICKS OUT OF THE AA!!!!!
Cena tries an AA off the top rope, but Ambrose fights him off and Dean with a sit out Powerbomb, but somehow Cena rolls it over into the STF…. No selling turd! Dean tries to crawl to the ropes with the STF applied. HE GETS THE ROPES!!!!
Cena tries another AA, Ambrose escapes and AMBROSE LOCKS THE STF ON CENA!!!!! Cena almost reaches the ropes so Ambrose pulls him back, Cena escapes… Cena tries an AA, Ambrose escapes…. DIRTY DEEDS!!!!! DIRTY DEEDS!!!! 1……………..2………………………..CENA KICKS OUT!!!!
They trade shots. Dean has enough and slaps Cena. AA attempt, Dirty Deeds attempt, AA attempt, the two men go off the ropes… Dean with a body block, Cena rolls through and picks Dean up into the AA for the win in 14:20.
– After the match Cena stands in the ring and waits for Dean to recover. The two men slap hands, but Dean isn’t happy with the outcome. Stop holding this guy down, he’s golden…. Ambrose is in all the right matches, they just never let him win.
– Backstage Renee Young with Seth Rollins. Rollins fully supports the suspension and fines on Brock Lesnar. Seth doesn’t have to worry about Brock now. But here comes RANDY ORTON into the segment. Orton points out he beat Seth last night before Seth cashed in, which should mean Orton deserves a shot… KANE AND BIG SHOW show up to back Rollins. Seth challenges Orton to find two partners and take them on in a 6-man tag in tonight’s main event. Seth says Orton has no friends so good luck…
— Commercial Break —
– WWE App, holy awesome. The Prime Time Players have t-shirts and their team name is the Prime Time Wrestling logo.
6. AJ Lee, Paige & Naomi vs. The Bella Twins & Natalya
Nattie and Naomi start. Nattie looks pretty decent, Naomi does a butt shaking spot. Nattie runs over Naomi’s back and dropkicks her in the face for 2. Brie comes in with a missile dropkick for 2. Crowd just wants AJ. Naomi finally escapes the beat down and tags in Paige. It’s back and forth until Brie calls Paige a loser, and Paige spears Brie to the floor… With both girls on the outside we head to break.
On the App – Back inside Paige chases Brie to the heel corner, and Nikki takes a cheap shot and tags in. The fans chant for AJ, so Nikki knocks her off the apron. Good heel move. Paige clocks Nikki and tags in AJ. Paige assists AJ with a splash onto Nikki, and Lee with a huracan rana. Nikki comes back with a spinebuster and a crappy attempt at an Anderson hammerlock slam get 2. The Bellas with a double suplex as we head back to USA.
Back from break, Brie has AJ in a chinlock. Nattie tags in and stays on Lee. “Natalya Suuuuucks” chants to the tune of Cena’s theme. Heels continue taking their shots on AJ. Nikki heels it up good, but there’s way too much rest hold crap going on. Nikki with a bow and arrow stretch. Nikki knocks Paige and Naomi off the apron. AJ jumps on Nikki’s back and knockers her down. Hot tag to Naomi. Naomi looking good, but Nikki counters with an ALABAM SLAM… Paige comes in to break up and NATLAYA GERMAN SUPLEXES PAIGE INTO NEXT YEAR!!!
It all breaks down, everyone gets dumped from the ring, Naomi ducks and Nikki blasts her sister Brie…. Nikki turns around into the REAR VIEW from Naomi and the win in 13:08.
– Backstage, Ryback steps into Orton’s locker room. Ryback offers his hand as a partner. The two shake hands.
— Commercial Break —
– This week on Smackdown it’s Sheamus & Barrett vs. Ziggler & Bryan. PLUS, Cena, Orton,& Reigns will all be on Smackdown.
– Jerry Lawler announces that Michael Cole has suffered cervical damage… Wow… This is an abrupt and major write-out of their lead announcer.
7. Rusev vs. Goldust
Poor Goldust. No Lana again. The announcers wonder why Rusev is here but didn’t accept Cena’s open challenge. Goldust tries to hold his own, but Rusev is pissed. Rusev dominates. Accolade wins it in less than 3:00.
— Commercial Break —
– I am going to be soooooo let down if this mystery partner is Roman Reigns… Though I’d like to hear the fan response. lol
Aaaaannnnnd, it’s Reigns.. lol
8. Seth Rollins, Kane, & The Big Show vs. Randy Orton, Ryback, & Roman Reigns
Kane on Ryback early, but Ryback with a Spinebuster. Ryback sets up for the meathook clothesline, but Kane rolls outside. Roman Reigns comes in and dives over the top rope onto all three heels as we head to our final commercial.
On the App – It’s Kane and Ryback back in the ring. Kane is sucking and the crowd chants “THIS IS BORING”. Ryback tags to Orton as we go back to USA.
Back from break, and the faces work over Kane. Orton gets taken to the heel corner and Rollins tags in and takes over on Orton. Randy battles back and lands 10 punches in the corner. Seth comes back with a Pele kick, but Orton escapes a pin. The crowd is chanting like 18 different things and I can’t make any of them out… Big Show tags in and stands on Orton’s chest. Show does some damage, then it’s Kane’s turn. The fans chants don’t stop, but I have no idea what they’re saying. Orton battles back but runs into a Big Boot from Kane. The fans start doing the WAVE….Rollins pauses as he allows the fans to do the WAVE… The camera even follows it. Rollins with a corner splash. “CM PUNK” chants and Rollins tells the fans to SUCK IT….
Orton and Seth wind up on the top rope. SUPERPLEX OFF THE TOP ROPE BY ORTON. Hot tag to Reigns… Fans Boo, lol. Reigns attacks Kane, lays out Show off the apron. Reigns sets up for a neckbreaker, but then just punches Kane in the head. Big Show intercepts a Superman Punch meant for Kane, but Reigns escapes a Show chokeslam and still connects a Superman Punch on Kane… Big Show then SPEARS Reigns… RYBACK WITH SHELL SHOCK ON BIG SHOW and the crowd erupts…..
Seth with a CURB STOMP ON RYBACK… Everyone is laid out… Reigns goes for a spear on Rollins, but Seth leapfrogs it…. Seth escapes while Kane grabs Reigns for a chokeslam… The crowd hates Roman so bad they’re even popping for Big Show and Kane… But Orton jumps in RKO ON KANE!!! Reigns with a spear on Kane… and it’s over. The faces win in 13:00….
Wow, no HHH promo tonight. I’m glad the Authority didn’t have a 20 minute promo to gloat, it would have brought down the hot show… Good move there.
– As promised on the WWE Network, Renee Young in the ring interviews Sting… “THANK YOU STING” chants. Sting talks about last night and thanks the fans for making him feel at home. Even though he lost, at least he can say he was there at WrestleMania… So now what is Sting’s future… Sting doesn’t know his future, loud “UNDERTAKER” chants. Sting doesn’t know what opportunities the WWE will throw his way, he’s going to reach out and grab it…. And if they don’t throw anything his way, he’s going to take it…
BO DALLAS shows up… lol… Bo Dallas talks about when he was a kid, that Sting painted Bo’s face and Dallas didn’t wash his face for days. Bo says Sting waited his entire career for WrestleMania, and then lost his entire career in one night. In order to succeed in WWE, he just has to BO-Lieve…. Sting responds with a SCORPION DEATH DROP!!! That closes the segment…
