Raw Pre-Show Notes
– Josh Matthews hosts the panel, this week with The Miz, Jason Albert (the former Tensai), and Alex Riley.
– Highlights of last week’s “Occupy Raw” with Daniel Bryan and the Authority. The panelists discuss. Riley is pro-Authority, Miz is pro-Bryan, Tensai I’m confused on.
– We catch the replay of the finish of Natalya defeating Alicia Fox as part of the Superstars tapings. Jerry Lawler interviews Natalya on the stage. Anyone notice nobody interviewed Ziggler last week?
– John Cena, Hulk Hogan, and the Wyatt Family from last week’s Raw. Panelists discuss. What a great promo Bray cut last week.
– Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal clip and discussion. Albert’s Boston accent is annoying. Byron Saxton gets Brad Maddox’s thoughts on the Battle Royal. Damien Sandow interrupts, and apologizes for how he handled the Daniel Bryan situation last week. Sandow asks to be a member of the Battle Royal. Maddox agrees to allow Damien to enter, but warns him that he will handle his punishment later tonight on Raw.
– The panelists discuss the Battle Royal, dropping names like Ryback, Curtis Axel, the Miz, and Alberto Del Rio (news to me). My how some have fallen. I sincerely hope they keep this match on the PPV and treat it like something special. If this thing get treated like crap, it’s going to be a real travesty given the names involved.
– The panel discuss the issues between the Real Americans. Renee Young interviews Jack Swagger. Cesaro & Zeb Colter show up moments later. The Americans bicker, Zeb gets them to calm down. We the People.
– Clip from last week with the Undertaker & Paul Heyman.
– The announcers are on their way out. A quick run down of what to expect on Raw tonight, Cena will respond to the Wyatt’s, HHH will respond to “Occupy Raw”, and away we go…
WWE Monday Night RAW Report for 3/17/14 from the AT&T Center in San Antonio, TX
– We’ve got HHH in the ring, blaming the fans for what he does to Daniel Bryan at WrestleMania. HHH isn’t mad anymore, he’s had a week to calm down. HHH will take out Bryan at Mania. HHH says he has a few things to say to Bryan face to face, later in the show.
And here comes Batista. Boo-tista is pissed that HHH gave Daniel Bryan a chance to be in the WWE Title match at WrestleMania. Tister is mad that he’s potentially in a match where he doesn’t have to be beat to lose. HHH is insulted that Tister believes Bryan has a chance in beating him to even get a title shot.
Out comes Randy Orton. Randy is also pissed about Bryan. More of the same. HHH is insulted that they believe he can beat the Game. Orton wants a No DQ match with Daniel Bryan tonight, HHH agrees to it. Orton says he will do what Tister couldn’t do, and take Bryan out. Orton then talks down to Batista, and Tister fires back. Both guys have a point, they’re not over and they do suck. Both men get in one another’s face, HHH tries to leave, but he’s stopped. They tell HHH to fix this.
HHH gets pissed off and adds a stipulation to WrestleMania. If Bryan wins, he’s in the WWE Title match, but if HHH wins, now he’s in the WWE Title match. Either way, it’ll be a 3 Way… Just what the world wants, a double dose of HHH!
Orton RKO’s Batista to end the segment.
-Commercial Break-
– Renee Young tries to interview Batista who says coming back to WWE was a big mistake, then presumably leaves the arena… for now…
1. WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos vs. The Real Americans (Swagger & Cesaro w/Zeb Colter). Usos start off hot on Swagger, Stinger Splash gets then 2. Swagger gets an Uso in the corner and tags to Cesaro, but the Real Americans offense is short lived… The Usos work over Cesaro in their corner. Cesaro catches a leap frog in mid air and turns it into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker! Swagger charges into a boot in the corner and a hot tag is made to Jimmy Uso. Jimmy hits a corkscrew dive from the top onto Swagger for a 2. Swagger ends up dumping Jimmy Uso to the floor as we go to commercial.
Back from break, the Real Americans in complete control. Hot tag to Jey though, and the Usos are all over Cesaro. Cesaro tries for the Giant Swing on Jey, but he’s stopped by Jimmy. Jey hits a Samoan drop for 2… Jey clinbs up for a diving splash, but Swagger pulls Cesaro out of the ring. The Usos nail Swagger with a double superkick, and Jimmy hits a flying plancha to the floor on Jack. Jey tries the same flying plancha onto Cesaro, but he’s met at the apron with a hell of a European Uppercut that knocks him out. Cesaro capitalizes with the Neutralizer and the win in 13:00…
– WWE Slam City Commercial…
-Commercial Break-
– Clip from Smackdown with Big Show vs. Kane. Kane tries to chokeslam Rollins after the match, but Reigns spears Kane. Back to Raw, Kane is backstage talking to the Shield. Kane has let last week go, and says that he needs to count on the Shield so that the Authority can count on them. Kane asks the Shield if he can count on them. The Shield agrees that they can be counted on. Kane says they better be, or they can be replaced.
– It’s St. Patty’s Day, and so Hornswoggle returns to hand out goodies at ringside… And it’s BAD NEWS BARRETT… and he has some bad news… Most people will spend this holiday getting drunk and puking all night. They’ll wake up tomorrow with a hangover and regretting what they did the night before… Does Barrett even wrestle anymore???
– It wouldn’t be St. Patty’s Day without Sheamus… on his way to the ring… for a match with Titus O’Neil… Next…
-Commercial Break-
2. Sheamus vs. Titus O’Neil in a “St. Patrick’s Day Showdown”. I’m not really sure what the name of the match means. Christian on commentary. We’ve learned Christian has been added to the Andre Battle Royal. Way to shove everyone in there. Hornswoggle remains at ringside as a second to Sheamus. The match goes to the floor, Sheamus with a shoulder block off the apron… Titus takes over in the ring… Christian rips the announcers apart for talking trash on him the last few weeks… Titus attacks Hornswoggle in the ring. He gives Horny a Fall Away Slam! But Sheamus catches Swoggle! Sheamus goes to work on O’Neil with the forearm clubs and the Brogue Kick for the win in 4:00. So much for Titus’ push.
– Sheamus announces his entrance into the Andre Battle Royal. Sad… Christian jumps Sheamus from behind, knocks him off the apron and drops him with the Killswitch on the arena floor…
-Commercial Break-
– Arnold Schwarzenegger on Raw next week! Plus SCOOBY DOO! What a combo!
– John Cena is out to talk the Wyatt Family. Cena says he’s afraid of Bray Wyatt, and he’s afraid the fans might actually be listening to Wyatt. Bray is different than everyone else because he doesn’t care about being the best, he just wants to destroy Cena’s legacy… Cena says he will fight for his legacy at WrestleMania XXX
Bray Wyatt appears on the big screen. Wyatt is decked out in Cena gear. Bray says children believe in everything, they don’t understand that everything is really a lie. Bray’s life as a child wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies… Wyatt says everything withers and dies. He says he could sell merchandise, go back to his mansion with his plastic girlfriend, but he’s different. Bray doesn’t care whether he lives or DIES, so long as the world sees Cena for what he really is…. Follow the Buzzards…
Another great promo by Bray, Cena needs to step these promos up. His usual paint by numbers promos aren’t going to work here…
-Commercial Break-
3. Daniel Bryan vs. WWE Champion Randy Orton (NO DQ MATCH). Some back and forth to get the match going. Bryan wraps Orton’s leg around the corner post… More back and forth until Bryan tosses Orton to the floor… Suicide Dive by Bryan… Orton grabs a kendo stick out of nowhere and cracks Bryan before tossing him across the announce table as we head into commercial…
Back from break, Orton is still using the kendo stick on Bryan… Orton works him over but Bryan back flips out of the corner and lands a clothesline to find time to recover… Bryan with a dropkick in the corner and a huracan rana off the top for 2!!! Bryan uses the Kendo Stick to beat Orton down and lands a YES! kick to the side of Randy head for another near fall… Bryan goes up for a diving headbutt, but Orton crotches Daniel on the top rope and lands a SUPERPLEX off the top rope!!! 1..2…Bryan kicks out!!!
Orton with some Garvin stomps and the suspended DDT as Orton gets ready for the RKO… But Bryan rolls out of the ring!!! Orton starts to make his way out after Bryan, and Daniel catches him with a load of kendo stick shots and a dropkick knocks Orton into the time keeper’s area… Bryan comes after Orton and gets dropped across the barrier… Orton begins to work Bryan over with a steel chair to the ribs and the back…
Randy rolls Bryan back in, and slides back into a BATISTA SPEAR!!! Batista spears Orton!!! And BRYAN KNEES BATISTA!!! Batista rolls from the ring and Bryan covers Orton..1……..2……….3!!!! Bryan gets the win in 14:30!!!
Batista lays Orton out after the match with the Batista Bomb as Bryan is long gone…
-Commercial Break-
– Paul Heyman is out, and he has a message for the Undertaker… We get a video package about the Undertaker’s streak and how time is running out. The video then moves on to Brock Lesnar, and how he will face and conquer “death”. Heyman reiterates the Undertaker’s streak will “Rest in Peace” at WrestleMania…
– Backstage HHH & Stephanie discuss Daniel Bryan and WrestleMania. Stephanie is pissed at HHH’s recent decisions. HHH tells her to leave him alone and let him take care of it. Stephanie tells HHH that he better…
– Apparently, no matter how close we are to WrestleMania, there’s always room for Fandango… Next!
-Commercial Break-
4. Goldust (w/Cody Rhodes) vs. Fandango (w/Summer Rae). Cody & Goldust dance with each other to the ring… Goldust crawls towards Fandango… Goldust catches Fandango’s boot and does some dancing… Goldust works Fandango over, and has some fun with him. Summer gets up on the apron. Goldust does a little Saturday Night Fever dancing and taunts Summer Rae. Summer falls off the apron, but is caught by Cody. The entire mess allows Fandango to gain control… Goldust fights back with a flying rana from the middle rope. Fandango tries the Falcon Arrow and they blow the spot, both men fall… It looks like Goldust might be hurt, possibly concussed…
Fandango lays Goldust out and goes for the top rope legdrop bus misses… Goldust comes back with the corkscrew suplex for the win in 5:00, but he looks groggy… Hope this doesn’t cost him a WrestleMania payday…
-Commercial Break-
– The Undertaker will be on the Main Event, live tomorrow. Really?
– It’s Corporate Kane on his way to the ring… Kane calls Jerry Lawler into the ring to take action for recent issues. Kane blames Lawler for “Occupy Raw” which took place in Memphis last week… Lawler refuses to get up from the announce table, and here comes the Shield… The Shield surround Lawler and walk him to the ring… Kane removes his tie while the Shield have the King cornered in the ring.
Seth Rollins gets on the mic… Rollins says Daniel Bryan isn’t coming to save the King, because the Shield are going to do what’s best for business… The Shield then slowly turn and look to Kane… Kane trash talks the Shield, as they begin to surround the Corporate Kane… Lawler gets the hell out of the ring, while the Shield take out Kane, and Reigns nails the SPEAR!!! Then a TRIPLE POWERBOMB!!!
-Commercial Break-
5. Cameron & Naomi vs. AJ Lee & Tamina Snuka. The Bellas are on commentary… Naomi is back, but she’s wearing a bedazzled eye patch… AJ is over as hell as the work over Cameron… Cameron hits some crappy looking kick on Tamina and makes the hot tag to Naomi… AJ tags in as well.. Naomi all over AJ… Tamina lays out Cameron, Naomi lays out Tamina…. AJ tries the Black Widow on Naomi, but Naomi drops AJ in the corner and lands the slit legged moonsault on the Divas Champion for the win in 4:00… Take that CM Punk!
AJ has a fit on Tamina after the match, but Tamina shoves her down… That’s all…
-Commercial Break-
– Well, if you haven’t been on this site, or any other wrestling news site all day, and you’re somehow reading this but missed two posts below it, then you actually still don’t know this week’s induction into the 2014 Hall of Fame… It’s none other than…
Enough of the jibba-jabba… We’ve got 8-man action…
6. Big Show, Mark Henry, Big E, and Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio, Damien Sandow, Ryback, and Curtis Axel. All 8 of these guys are in the Andre Battle Royal… Sad… I’m really not getting how this match is paying Sandow back as hinted in the preshow… Ryback gets the jump on Big E, but Henry makes his way in to take over on the heels… The heels take over on Ziggler and get some heat… The faces make a come back and run the heels out of the ring as we take a commercial…
Back from break, the heels are back on top of Dolph Ziggler… Sandow slingshots Dolph into the corner turnbuckle. Dolph drives Damien into the buckle moments later and makes the hot tag to Big Show. Big Show beats the crap out of Sandow and calls for the chokeslam. Axel rushes in and gets nauled by Show. Ryback spears Show, and we’ve got all 8 guys in and around the ring. Ziggler lands a Fameouser on somebody but gets tossed. It ends up with Big Show in the ring with Sandow, and a chokeslam ends it in 12:00, give or take…
– Renee Young with Batista backstage. Batista says he’s still going to become WWE Champion…
-Commercial Break-
7. Bray Wyatt (w/Rowan & Harper) vs. Kofi Kingston. This match was billed as “Bray Wyatt in action”… Poor Kofi… We get a snazzy Wyatt Family music video before the match… Wyatt just mauls Kofi, Kingston is the definition of a jobber here. Sister Abigail and it’s over… Guess you gotta build him for Mania… But poor Kofi… this match couldn’t have went more than 3:00…
So Cena is in the building, but doesn’t do anything? Lame…
-Commercial Break-
– Our main event segment tonight features HHH calling Daniel Bryan out to the ring to discuss last week… They are in this moment, HHH says that it was just supposed to be this way, and he’s not worried about how they got here… HHH says he won’t apologize for what he does to Bryan at Mania, and vise versa… HHH will do what’s best for business… HHH says “no hard feelings and may the best man win”…
HHH talks about everything he’s done to Bryan, and Daniel is still here…. Lots of chants for Bryan… HHH continues to put Bryan over… HHH says he respects Bryan…
HHH takes shots at CM Punk, without mentioning his name… Even the crowd gets it as Punk chants begin to ring out… HHH must have loved to take those shots about “anyone else would take their ball and go home”….
Stephanie McMahon storms out and has Daniel Bryan arrested in San Antonio for what he did in Memphis last week…Makes sense… HHH & Stephanie get into a supposed argument at ringside over Steph’s decision… The cops use excessive force to drop Bryan to the mat and cuff him… And what happens next can be seen from a mile away….
HHH makes the cops back off, and says “you’re not even real cops”… HHH then beats the crap out of the handcuffed Bryan all around ringside…. Stephanie is so irritating… That voice is wretched… Bryan keeps trying to fight back, he won’t stay down, but HHH just keeps beating him back down… The joys of running a company… This goes on WAYYY TOOO LOONG…. Stephanie slaps Bryan, and he talks trash back…
HHH props Bryan’s head up against the post and smashes it with a chair… Only the boss can swing chairs at people’s heads…
But it’s not over yet… Let’s drill the point home… HHH with a pedigree on Bryan to end the show!
No wait… the HHH musta now talk… Therre is NO “YES Movement” everything belongs to HHH & Stephanie… And as I look at hubby and wife side by side, I begin to realize how bad I feel for their kid’s noses… Though they can afford the plastic surgery…
RAW “Backstage Pass” Post Game Show
– The Post Game Show actually starts before Raw ends. Josh Matthews, Miz, Alex Riley & Jason Albert are back. The panelists are backstage discussing the HHH/Bryan situation…
– Live at ringside, Bryan is being stretchered out in a neck brace… Tons more talk before he go to the back where they’re loading Bryan… Daniel is non-responsive… Several of the wrestlers are at the ambulance to see about Bryan… Renee Young gets an interview with WWE’s physician…
– Undertaker’s music plays, and you can hear the crowd pop loud… Sounds like the Undertaker us out there for the live crowd… This new backstage setup for the panel prevents us from seeing any dark match activities, which it was designed to do…
– The entire post show was all about Bryan & HHH. End show…
