We head down under for the next few Oh My God Reviews to take a look at the short lived World Wrestling All-Stars promotion. Lasting just over a year and a half the Australian based company was originally supposed to be booked by Vince Russo. Russo however could not do it and the job was given to Jeremy Borash. There were already four shows held before this first PPV. Road Dog won the title at the third show and would successfully defend it the night before the PPV. However during the PPV it was like none of that ever happened and we would get a tournament to crown the “first” WWA Champion.
The Inception 2002-01-06 (Matches taped 2001-10-26 at Sydney Superdome in Sydney Australia)
Commissioner Bret “The Hitman” Hart comes out with a belt that looks like a boxing championship. Bret talks about 9-11. Then he says he was never defeated for his final WWF or WCW title. Bret says tonight he will pass the torch when a new champion is crowned in a tournament. “Passing the torch” means you actually would have a match with the person Bret not just put them in a tournament.
Jeremy Borasch lets us know that every match tonight has a stipulation. Jerry “The King” Lawler is super excited about that. I think it means this PPV is going to suck. They run down that card. I think this also means the PPV is going to suck.
Juventud Guererra vs. Psicosis in a Ladder Match
This match is also for the International Cruiserweight Championship. The commentators talk about the last time Juvy was in Australia and he ran around naked in a hotel. Jerry Lawler is also handling bell ringing duties tonight apparently. Juvy with a tilt a whirl head scissor into a DDT and then they go to the floor. Juvy throws the ladder at Psicosis. The commentary tonight is live over the speaker system in the arena I think. Juvy uses the ladder as a weapon a few more times. Psicosis bleeding early on. Nice spot where each man avoids the ladder ends with Juvy getting dropped face first onto it. Psicosis hangs Juvy up on the top rope and then comes off the ladder with a leg drop. Psicosis goes for the title but Juvy springboards and drop kicks the ladder. Psicosis clotheslines himself on the top rope on the way down. Juvy tries to bring another ladder in the ring but gets it drop kicked into his face instead. Psicosis now gets the ladder and throws it onto Juvy. Juvy though reverses a corner whip and Psicosis hits the ladder. Juvy tries to jump off the ladder but slips. He still somewhat connects and then the ladder falls and hits the ref in the head. The ref no sells it which makes the wrestlers look like pussies. Both men up now and they climb the ladder. Juvy hits a sunset flip power bomb off the top of the ladder and then climbs the ropes and hits the 450. Juvy climbs the ladder and wins the titles in 8.05.
The Staretts dance.
Nathan Jones shows up and runs into Lenny and Lodi. Disco Inferno complains about a lack of security and then gives some guy his credit cards and tells him to go buy him two suits.
Mexican Heavyweight Champion Konnan vs. Road Dog, ref Mark Johnson – Dog Collar Match
Konnan speaks on it before the match. Road Dog also gets on the mic. Konnan cuts him off during the “…children of all ages…” and does his own intro. He says that since all the other members of D-X are still employed that he guesses the WWF told him to suck it. Burn! Konnan hits three buckles but the chain gets pulled between his legs. Road Dog now hits 3 but the same thing happens to him. Konnan takes his collar off and the ref turns and talks to the crowd about how he shouldn’t have done that. This gives Konnnan a chance to use a weapon. He tries to come off the top with the weapon but Dog gets his feet up. Dog gets the weapon now and uses it because the ref is still distracted and also would apparently care if you use a weapon in a Dog Collar Match. Dog hits the corners and gets the win in 4.23 even though the collar came off. This means that you can’t use a weapon cause you would get DQed but you can top all 4 corners with out the collar on and still win.
Devon Storm vs. Norman Smiley in a Hardcore Match
This is a non tournament match. Storm with a springboard cross body for 2. Norman then trows him to the floor and hits a base ball slide. Norman with a garbage can lid to the head. Storm gets control back in the ring and hits a lionsault onto a chair. Norman goes to the outside. Storm goes for a dive but Norman nails him with a chair. Norman gets a table sets it up on the floor and then does the big wiggle. Norman goes to the apron and tries suplex Storm through the table but Storm reverses it and brings Norman back into the ring. They only stay there for a moment and then Storm brings it back to the floor. Storm puts Norman on the table and then hits a slingshot splash through it. Norman though comes back and puts Storm in a garbage can and then nails him with a chair. Storm is busted open. Big wiggle again on the entrance ramp and Storm goes low. Norman comes back with a inverted atomic drop. Storm puts Norman in a bin on wheels and rolls him and then tips him over. Norman lands on Disco Inferno who freaks out and yells for security. They brawl back on the entrance ramp. Storm eventually sets up two tables then puts Norman on name. Storm climbs up the jumbotron thing and jumps off with a splash! Boy guys are down for a bit and Norman actually manages to roll on top of Storm to get the win in 9.52.
The guy is back with Disco’s credit card and he has the Bananas in Pajamas with him. Disco wants to know what this is all about and the guy says it’s the two fruits Disco wanted. Oh boy. Disco nails them both.
Juvy has broken ribs and is out of the tournament. Stevie Ray is with Bret Hart and Stevie wants to know about the next match in the tournament. Bret says anybody that works in WWA can enter the battle royal. Not just wrestlers but back stage announces. Stevie Ray decides to join.
Battle Royal
Buff Bagwell and Disco are out first. Disco Inferno, Disco attacks Buff and the match begins. Stevie Ray, Norman Smiley and Devon Storm join. Lawler decides that he and Jeremy should both join in. Lawler goes after Ray and has Jeremy help him. Ray just tosses out Jeremy. The two refs and a camera man join. Storm gets tossed and then gets on commentary. This is fucking awesome. Some girl gets in the ring. Storm does a Gordon Solie impression. The girl makes out with Lawler then climbs out of the ring. The refs and camera man are gone. Everyone decides to gang up on Stevie Ray. Lawler counts to 3 so they can attack but only Disco goes. The Fruits in Suits show up. Stevie Ray gets tossed. Norman and King tossed. Down to Buff and Disco. Buff hits a double arm DDT. Storm off commentary but decides to be the bell ringer. HAHA. Disco a swinging neck breaker and village peoples elbow. The Fruits now join in and dump Disco. Buff tosses the Fruits and moves onto the second round in 6.43. Storm rings the bell for about 2 minutes. I’m not exaggerating.
Lawler leaves to get an interview with the Bananas. Some chick interviews Rove McManus and Nathan Jones. Rove says that Jones is going all the way.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Nathan “Front Row” Jones, ref Mark Johnson – Guitar on a Pole Match
Jarrett talks about slapping nuts and stuff. Rove gets on the mic and calls Jeff a poofter. I guess tha’s australian for a gay person or something. Rove then tells Jeff that Nathan is going to slap his nuts all over the ring. Ummmm whose the poofter now. Rove joins Jeremy on commentary. Oh man Jones hits a crazy looking tilt a whirl slam. Jeff with a jaw breaker to gain control. Jones though back on top and they brawl a bit on the floor. Jones is so fucking huge. Jones goes up top and Jeff hits him low. Rove freaks the fuck out on commentary. Jeff gets the guitar. Rove comes in the ring to stop him and Jeff BLASTS him with the guitar. Jeff hits the stroke on Jones and gets the win in 4.03. Why did Nathan Jones the home town guy that got a giant pop get eliminated in the first round?
Lawler is in the ring now and he is going to interview the Fruits in a Suit. Borash is so excited about them coming out again. Well he booked it so…. Lenny and Lodi hit the ring now. These guys are awesome. Lodi says no one is here to see two fruits they are here to see Lenny and Lodi. This brings out Bret Hart. He tells the fruits to get out of the ring. Lawler says which ones. Hart laughs and says the fruits. I don’t think Bret got the joke. Hart says Lodi and Lani are in a three way dance with Road Dog.
Lodi vs. Lenny vs. Road Dog
Lenny and Lodi hit a flapjack bull dog combo. Lenny stops Lodi from getting the pin. Lenny miss a top rope drop kick and it nails Lodi. Lenny and Lodi can’t decide who is going to get the pin and eventually begin fighting each other. Lenny hits a moonsault on a standing Lodi from the top. They end up in a 69 position and Road Dog drops a knee on Lenny and pins them both in 3.55
Stevie Ray is in the back with Buff Bagwell. Stevie stops mid interview and tells Buff to hold the mic so he can put his glasses and hat back on. Buff names the stipulation in his match but we don’t know what the rules will be.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Buff Bagwell, ref Mark Johnson, in a Puppies, Whips and Buff Match
Buff brings the dancer girls to the ring and they all have whips. Buff throws Jeff to the floor a bunch and he gets whipped. Jeff throws Buff to the floor next but the girls help him instead of whipping him. So on and so forth. Buff gets a whip and uses it. This brings the ref out to yell at him. All the girls begin to whip the ref and he runs away. Back in the ring Buff with a block buster. A girl slides in and counts. Buff thinks it means he won. Jeff back up hits the stroke and the ref comes in and makes the three count in 3.58. Jeff takes on Road Dog in the finals.
Liz Sullivan interviews Luna Vachon and she wants to know why Luna will be fighting her husband. Luna says it’s because they came to renew their vows but he has last every match since they got to Australia.
Luna Vachon vs. Vampire Warrior in a Black Wedding Match
Warrior doesn’t want to really fight but instead of just laying down and taking the pin he does things like atomic drop her and then just get really upset about it. Luna uses some weapons on him then throws her wedding ring at him and spits on him. Warrior gets mad and then nails her with an impaler and gets the win in 2.26. He’s still very upset about it.
The girls dance more but Disco Inferno comes out AGAIN and runs them off. The fans chant “Disco’s a wanker” at him. That’s great. The Fruits come out again. Disco goes to attack but the Fruits actually beat him up. They fight to the top of the cage and one of the Fruits gets thrown off onto what I think is supposed to be a table with a giant table cloth on it but it actually just looks like a giant piece of foam under a table cloth.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Road Dogg, ref Mark Johnson in a Steel Cage Match
Bret Hart joins on commentary. Lots of history between these guys. All the commentators say about it is that they think those two have faced each other before. Bret says Road Dog has been taking this match seriously all week. That’s odd because this was a tournament so he had no idea this match was happening until about 15 minutes ago. They fight to the top of the cage and Jeff gets out of the ring. We just now learn that it’s pinfall or submission. Bret AGAIN talks about how Road Dog has been training for this match. Jeff gets busted open from the ring bell. They brawl on the floor and back into the cage. Jeff locks in a sleeper and Bret says it’s going to wear down Road Dog. I have to wonder just how hard he really trained then. Road Dog gets out and locks one of his own on. Jeff though quickly hits a belly to back. Jeff bleeding a bunch. Ref gets nailed and Jeff goes to get his guitar. Road Dog gets laid out and Jeff locks in a sharpshooter. Bret stops the bell from being rung. Well the ref is out so why would anyone ring the bell? NOW a second ref comes down. Dog goes for the pump handle but ends up pushing Jeff into the ref. Dog now locks in the sharpshooter and Bret again stops the bell from being rung. THERE”S NO REF. Bret says fuck it all and grabs the belt and goes to leave. Baby. Dog grabs the belt tries to nail Jeff who ducks and hits the stroke on the belt for the win in 10.22. Bret gets in the ring afterwards and argues with Jeff and ends up locking him in the sharpshooter and we go off the air. Did not one writer think it would have made much more sense for the ref bumps to happen AFTER the guys tapped out to the sharpshooters so Bret stopping the bell actually made sense? Also Bret Hart is a little bitch.
My thoughts on the show…
Well it wasn’t good. The ladder match was decent besides the ref and the battle royal I had fun with. The rest was just insane booking and whacky finishes. This is down there on the bottom of the list of things I have reviewed and I’ve looked at some stinkers.
