Welcome to the very first edition of the “OH MY GOD!” Review!
– So the story here is that I’ve been watching EVERY ECW show that is available in order. Unfortunately, I have not been reviewing them until now. Hopefully I’ll have time to go back and do the old ones but who knows. A little history of where we are now, 4/2/96. Shane Douglas has recently returned from his stay in the WWF as Dean Douglas and has made a deal with both Tommy Dreamer and the Sandman to give them the first two title matches should he beat Raven for the ECW World Title. ECW Tag Team Champions The Eliminators are feuding with the Pitbulls after having given Francine Total Elimination on two separate occasions. 2 Cold Scorpio and Sabu have recently wrestled to 30 minute draws 2 matches in a row. Taz has run 911 out of ECW and Bam Bam Bigelow has come in to replace 911. Bill Alfonso and Todd Gordon have been rolling around on the ground with each other a bunch and JT Smith and Hack Meyers have been feuding nonstop since 1992.
TV 1996-04-02 (from the ECW Arena 1996-03-30)
Champions
TV: 2 Cold Scorpio
Tag Team: The Eliminators
Heavyweight: Raven
– We open the show with Joey Styles in the ring and of course an “E-C-W” chant. As Joey begins to hype the show out comes “The Godfather of Pro Wrestling” Damian Kane with Lady Alexandra. Kane trash talks his former tag teams The Bad Crew and The Headhunters for not listening to his advice as a manager. Since this is the first taping to air nationwide Kane wants a match tonight. Joey tells Kane that he’s not scheduled for a match but Kane refuses to leave. Kane tells Styles he’ll leave if Styles hits Lady Alexandra. Out comes El Puerto Ricano for his match. Kane attacks with a clothesline and suplex to the outside as the crowd chants for Sandman.
Damian Kane w/ Lady Alexandra vs. Mikey Whipwreck ref Paul Richards
Kane issues an open challenge and out comes Mikey. Kane attacks with stomps as soon as Mikey hits the ring. Kane hits more stomps in the corner and a backdrop. Mikey ducks a clothesline and goes on the offense with a crossbody and drop kick that sends Kane to the floor. Plancha by Mikey and Kane gets sent into the crowd. Mikey throws Kane back in and as he tries to get in himself Lady Alexandra holds his foot allowing Kane to hit a slingshot suplex. Mikey back under a clothesline and hits a superkick. FrankenMikey from the top rope for the three count.
– We go to Joey who tells us that Stevie Richards is out of his match tonight against the Gangstas, due to injury taking his place is “Stone Cold” Chad Austin.
Gangstas vs. Blue Meanie & Stone Cold Chad Austin ref Jim Molineaux JIP
With join the action with Austin and New Jack on the floor as Austin is getting hammered with chairs and a fans crutch. In the ring Mustafa with an elbow off the tope rope to Meanie. New Jack continues to beat the crap out of Austin. Meaine takes a big boot in the ring and is thrown to the outside. Mustafa hits a running powerslam on Austin followed by the debut of the 187 diving chair shot for the win. New Jack then repeatedly smashes Austin in the knee with a chair legitimately shattering his knee cap. New Jack gets on the mic and issues a challenge to the Tag Team Champions The Eliminators.
ECW Tag Team Champions The Eliminators vs. The Dark Riders ref Jim Molineaux Clipped
Saturn starts off with Billy Black. Black hits a superkick sending Saturn to the floor followed by a somersault of the apron to the floor. Tag made to Stud who hits a top rope elbow. We cut to later in the match as Saturn hits a top rope elbow of his own on Black for a two count. Brainbuster and lionsault for another 2. Cut again to Black hitting a splash on Kronus and one more cut to Total Elimination for the victory by the Eliminators. Saturn on the mic accepts the challenge from the Gangstas and calls them out. Gangstas music hits and we get your classic ECW brawl through the crowd and on the stage. Mustafa gets taken out with Total Elimination. The Eliminators drag New Jack back to the ring where the tape him in between two tables and give him Total Elimination which gets a very calm “Oh My God” from Joey. New Jack gets stretchered out of the arena.
– Joey reviews what went down at the Big Ass Extreme Bash between Shane Douglas, Sandman, Tommy Dreamer and Raven. He tells us about Brian Pillman being banned from ECW unless he is willing to wrestle Douglas.
Taz w/ Bill Alfonso vs. Buh Buh Ray Dudley w/ Sign Guy, Chubby and Big Dick Dudley ref Paul Richards
Buh Buh on the mic and Taz slaps him as he stutters to get his name out. Match starts with a lock up and a school boy for a 2 by Taz. Wrestling sequence with arm bars, hammerlocks and take downs. Buh Buh with a drop kick Taz bails and Buh Buh hits a baseball slide. Buh Buh goes up top but Taz sneaks in and pulls him off as Alfonso distracts. Buh Buh splash in the corner. Buh Buh bomb reversed into a northern lights for 2. Buh Buh hits a bodyslam but misses a top rope splash. Taz with a T-Bone Tazplex and picks up the victory with the Tazmission in 3:49. Taz wont let the hold go so Big Dick breaks his crutch over Taz’s back. Big Dick lifts Alfonso in a press slam but Taz chop blocks him, takes of his knee brace, and puts him in a leg lock. Taz ends it all by dropping to his knees and pointing to the sky a la Sabu.
– We get the “Misirlou” promos with doctors talking about Ravens foot injury, Sandman talking into Missy Hyatts boobs (she’s so awesomely slutty looking), JT Smith talking trash to his LONG time enemy Hack Meyers, The Eliminators tell us about how they come up from the projects and won’t let the Gangstas bring them back there and the Franchise talking about taking back the title from Raven.
My thoughts on the show…
I was not a fan of this episode at all. The opening interview/match was not good and I am just waiting for Damian Kane to be gone from the company. The Gangstas match just shows how much of a piece of garbage New Jack is. The story behind the whole thing from what I have read is that Chad Austin went down to SMW when the Gangstas were there and acted like a big shot. New Jack being New Jack didn’t like that so when he had a chance to take advantage of someone he did. The chair shots he gave Austin were just brutal and as I mentioned he shattered Austin’s kneecap with the last shot after the match had ended. The Eliminators / Gangstas brawl was good and I’m sure will lead to some violent matches in the future however I’m left a little confused as to what happened to the Pitbulls / Eliminators feud. Buh Buh Ray Dudley is insanely over with his stuttering gimmick and is one of the main things I look forward to when watching these shows. Taz mocking Sabu is one of the first times we see Taz respond to the fans chants of “Sabu” when he is in the ring and it will lead to some great matches from those two.
With my confusion over what’s going on in the tag team division and nothing all that important happening this show I give it a thumbs down.
