Bobby “The Brain” Mayo back once again with another Smackdown Live report. SummerSlam is behind us and we move into branded PPV’s.
WWE SMACKDOWN PRESHOW BULLET POINTS
- The pregame crews is in full force again this week. Dean Ambrose joins the show on Skype early on. He gives Dolph credit but Dean proved he was the better man. Dean doesn’t care what’s next, he’s ready for it.
- Nikki Bella returns to TV tonight against Carmella. That’s one segment that won’t require much detail.
- They mention Brock Lesnar attacking Shane McMahon and expect Shane to respond tonight. Speaking of Brock, Randy Orton is NOT on the show tonight. (Edit: actually he IS on the show.)
- AJ Styles defeated John Cena at SummerSlam. Footage of AJ after the match is shown where he talks about the huge accomplishment. Guess we wait and see where both guys go from here. They do mention Cena leaving his ‘Never Give Up’ band in the ring and talk about what it might mean.
- Looks like they’ll be introducing the Smackdown Women’s and Tag team Titles tonight. I don’t think that’s a great idea. Fuck, I don’t think that’s even a good idea. In fact, it’s a fucking terrible idea.
- Even suspended, Eva Marie gets her second bit of publicity since it went into effect. Booker compares her to CM Punk and says he doesn’t want to wait two years for her debut. Damn.
- Bray Wyatt says it’s a nice day for a Revolution. They wonder who it is directed at.
WWE SMACKDOWN LIVE
August 23, 2016 – CONNECTICUT
MOHEGAN SUN ARENA
* TO THE BACK… There’s a locker room filled with heels and faces. Crews, Corbin, Rhyno, even Erick Rowan has been relegated to jobber central. Dolph Ziggler is sulking in a chair. AJ Styles drops by the celebrate his victory over Cena. He’s wearing Cena’s armband as a headband. He shits on Ziggler’s sad gayness. He tells Ziggler he doesn’t need this in his locker room. Dolph snaps and attacks Styles. The wrestlers pull them apart and Ziggler tells Styles to mind his business.
– SHANE & BRYAN REVEAL NEW SD TITLES –
We’ve got a ring full of women and tag teams so this is about as anticlimactic as it gets. The belts are already in the ring too. Daniel Bryan talks up the ladies. Fans chanting for Becky. Backlash will feature a women’s six pack challenge to crown the “Smackdown Women’s Champion”. Oh God No. The “Smackdown tag team championship” will feature a tournament that culminates at Backlash. The tournament starts tonight.
HEATH SLATER interrupts. Crowd goes nuts for him. He wants to go for a title. Bryan tells Heath he’s not a woman. Heath wants the tag titles. Shane informs Heath that he’s not a member of the roster and he doesn’t have a partner. Crowd is fucking going nuts for Heath. It’s fucking awesome. He’s owning the last few weeks. Vince probably doesn’t like that. Heath has to win the entire tournament to get a Smackdown roster spot. The crowd shits on Shane. Hehe. Heath goes off to find a partner.
AJ STYLES interrupts. Styles tells Heath he won’t be his partner. Styles wants to talk about himself but Dolph Ziggler attacks Styles on the ramp and a brawl commences. The tag teams break the fight up going into break.
– BECKY LYNCH VS. ALEXA BLISS –
Rematch. Nattie and Naomi on commentary. Bliss isn’t much of a wrestler but she has some nice heel moves. Becky makes a comeback with a flying forearm in the corner. Bliss puts an end to that come back with a sunset bomb out of the corner that gets a 2. Becky finally lands the Dis-Arm-Her for the win in 5 minutes. Oh, and Naomi barely spoke and Nattie was terrible as usual on commentary.
Winner is Becky
* TO THE HEAT SLATER.. Heath is wearing a ‘Free Agent’ shirt. He runs into the Miz and asks Miz to be his partner. Miz responds with delight. It’s finally revealed that Miz is speaking on his blue tooth to Steve Spielberg and didn’t even know Heath was in the room. Slater storms off all pissed. He should thank the Heavens that Miz didn’t accept.
– THE USOS VS. THE ASCENSION –
The Ascension attack at the bell and we’re off. Given the time restraints as compared to Raw the Ascension rush through some offense to get in some spots. Jimmy Uso catches Konnor with an enzuigiri and Jey gets the hot tag baby. High cross body to Viktor for 2. Samoan drop by Jey. Jey goes for the butt bomb in the corner but he gets POUNCED by Konnor. Konnor gets knocked outside and Jey dives onto him. Inside the ring Jimmy with a superkick on Viktor and Jey comes off the top with the Superfly Splash ends this in 4 minutes. The Usos are the first team to advance.
Winners are the Usos.
– AJ STYLES IN-RING PROMO –
AJ has the Never Give Up armband. He mentions a few times that he beat John Cena. Just a few. Now he deserves a title shot.
To the Ziggler. Dolph comes busting out of the back but he’s being held back. He wants at AJ. He’s a pissed off Ziggler.
Daniel Bryan has had enough of them so he makes a match. If AJ wins then Styles gets a title shot at Backlash. If Ziggler wins, they BOTH get a title shot at Backlash. Wait. What the FUCK? So AJ can lose and still get the shot? This makes no fucking sense. Fucking writers. Fucking Triple H. Fucking Vince.
This was like a 20 minute Raw segment condensed into maybe 8 minutes.
– NIKKI BELLA VS. CARMELLA –
To the Renee. For some reason Renee Young is in the ring interviewing Bella before the match. Carmella immediately attacks her from behind and lays her out. Nikki takes a beating. Crowd doesn’t know what to do. Nikki does an awful sell job on her neck. Carmella returns to the riung and hits Brie’s old facebuster on Nikki. Did Nikki just turn face and Carmella turn heel? What the fuck just happened here.
For the third week in a row at least one women’s match did not even take place as scheduled.
– RANDY ORTON SPEAKS, BRAY WYATT RESPONDS –
Looks like the fuckers on the preshow lied. Randy Orton IS here and he will speak about SummerSlam. Orton would have rather been rolled out on a stretched than have it ended the way it did. No shit Sherlock. Orton says he will cross paths with Lesnar again one day. Lights go out.
TO THE WYATT. Bray comes out, alone now. He says Orton is a great man, but he’s still just a man. Wyatt on the other hand is a GOD. Gods can’t die. He tells Randy that he will find out soon enough. Orton calls Bray into the ring. Lights go out. Bray is gone.
Another really rushed segment that would have likely gone 3 times as long on Raw.
* To the back. Shane McMahon discusses Brock Lesnar and Stephanie’s shitty $500 fine. Shane says this thing with Brock is far from over. He walks away.
* To the back. Heath Slater is asking Arn Anderson to be his partner. After all, Arn is a tag team specialist. Since Arn was his last choice, Anderson turns it down. But then Rhyno taps Heath on the shoulder and offers to team with Heath. Yet another random team is born.
– AMERICAN ALPHA VS. BREEZANGO –
Why the fuck are Breezango jobbing in the first round of the tournament? There are far shittier teams. After some feeling out, team Alpha show some good stuff including stereo wastelock takedowns and pitch the heels to the floor. Alpha spends too much time in the ring together and while Jordan is being sent to his corner, Fandango cheapshots Gable with a clothesline to give the heels control. SD goes to commercial here. When they return Gable body scissors Fandango over the top to the outside. Jordan hot tags in with overhead belly to bellies for everyone. Tons of near falls follow from both teams. Alpha with a dropkick into a German suplex. Breeze with three very near falls on Jordan. Gable and Fandango fall to the floor. Jordan turns a high kick into a leg capture overhead suplex. Alpha nail their finisher for the win in 12 minutes.
This should have been in the semi finals. This was a good match. This could have been a great match if they’d give Breezango more of a chance.
Winners are American Alpha
* To the Ambrose. In the back Dean sports a giant foam cowboy hat. He doesn’t seem worried who his next challenger or challengers will be at Backlash.
Dean Ambrose to commentary for the number one contender match.
– AJ STYLES VS. DOLPH ZIGGLER –
Dolph with some nice amateur stuff to begin things but AJ ends that with a straight punch to the face. Styles now in control. Leads back to Dolph trying to clothesline AJ out of the ring over the top 4 fucking times before he finally just dropkicks Styles and he falls out. SD goes to commercial here. Ziggler takes a nasty bump in the corner and AJ gets the advantage. Styles with a roundhouse kick to the skull of Dolph. Styles commences to beating up Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler comes fighting back but AJ gives him a neckbreaker across the middle rope as SD goes to commercial again. Back again. AJ with an armbar. Ziggler breaks out and nails a standing dropkick. Dolph goes into his signature routine. Hit it all. Famouser gets a close count.
AJ blocks an Zigzag. AJ with the frieman’s into the brainbuster on his knee for 2. AJ misses a 450 splash. Ziggler with the spike DDT gets him 2. Ziggler escapes a Styles Clash and hits a ZIGZAG OUTTA NOWHERE. SOOOOO CLOOOOOSE. AJ goes to the leg of Dolph and lands the Styles Clash. Match over in 21:00.
Winner is AJ Styles
Really not sure what this does for Ziggler. I’m also not sure they care. A little surprised they go right into Styles vs. Ambrose. Blowing their wads pretty fast.
Show ends with AJ pulling the headset off Ambrose. Dean stands up and words are exchanged but that’s about it. Smackdown ends.
