The “OH MY GOD!” Review: ECW Presents Hardcore Heaven ’96

[spacer height=”20px”]

Hardcore Heaven 1996-06-22 at The ECW Arena in Philadelphia, PA

Champions
World: Raven
TV: Pitbull 2
Tag Team: Eliminators

Joel Gertner is in the ring being very awkward doing a lets get ready to rumble thing. Sandman hits the ring, which seems to make everyone happy and canes the crap out of Gertner. Sandman gets a “one more time” chant and gives the fans what they want. Sandman tells Missy Hyatt to bring someone else out. Missy brings out original ECW Ring Announcer Bob Artese. Sandman tells Missy to make out with him.

“The Franchise” Shane Douglas vs. Mikey Whipwerck ref Jim Molineaux
Douglas was originally scheduled to face Pitbull 2 for the TV Title. Douglas however lost two rematches in a row and was removed from the title match. These two men wrestled at Fight the Power when Shane was just rolling through people before losing the TV Title to Pitbull 2. Mikey with an arm drag and then an arm ringer. Shane gets Mikey off and stomps him in the corner. Mikey reverses a corner whip and back drops Shane as he comes out. Two dropkicks later and Douglas rolls out of the ring. Shane with a headlock takeover and the fans chant “little dick” at Shane. Douglas lets go of the hold to jaw with the fans and then hits a vertical suplex. Shane locks in the texas cloveleaf on Mikey. Mikey has been dealing with a leg injury for a few weeks now. Mikey gets to the ropes. Shane chop blocks Mikey. Mikey pulls and Shane’s tights and throws him out of the ring. Mikey throws Shane into the crowd and dives off the top rope onto Shane. Mikey hits a slingshot senton back in the ring for 2. Mikey whips Shane in and goes for a drop kick but Shane holds onto the ropes. Shane with a figure four. Mikey able to get out by raking the eyes. Shane now goes for a drop kick but it’s Mikey who holds onto the ropes this time. Mikey with a head butt low on Shane and now he locks in a figure four. Shane punches the ref for some reason. Mikey grabs onto the ropes for added leverage. Shane able to get to the ropes now and the ref makes them break. Douglas favors the knee and goes down as Mikey tries to whip him to the corner. Mikey goes up top and comes off with a drop kick. Shane reverses an irish whip and ducks his head. Mikey hits a DDT for 2. Shane reverses another irish whip and hits they belly to belly to finish it in 11.33.

Joey Styles is in the ring and tapes an opening welcoming us to ECW TV. Styles welcomes to the ring Baron Von Stevie. Stevie Richards comes to the ring dressed as Baron Von Raschke with Bluedust and his manager Trisha. I won’t even try to explain how awesome this is. Stop reading this right now and go find it on Youtube. Stevie says he has the slut that Raven wanted while Bluedust freaks out Styles. Seriously though there was so much more. Please go watch this interview. Stevie tries to put the claw on Joey but he just slaps it away and walks out. Again watch it. A freakin interview segment got a standing ovation! Stevie rides Bluedust to the back and tries to give fans the claw!

F.B.I vs. Buh Buh Ray Dudley & Big Dick Dudley (w/ Sign Guy, Dances With & Chubby Dudley) ref John “Pee Wee” Moore
JT Smith gets on the mic before the match and says he has a surprise for Little Guido. Smith calls out the newest member Sal Bellomo. Bellomo gets on the mic and insults the fans in Italian. Guido tries to sing but Smith takes the mic from him. Smith begins to sing but gets cut off by boos and AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell”. During the ring introductions Buh Buh grabs the mic from the announcer and calls out D-Von Dudley. He sings F.B.I.’s theme song and says “Your momma” to Smith. This makes him VERY mad and Guido has to hold him back. Buh Buh says his name with out stuttering and he and the fans go wild! Big Dick ALMOST smiles. Buh Buh in a child like voice gets the fans to agree that no one likes D-Von. He says that D-Von had one thing right now and it’s that “thou shall not FUCK with the Dudleys”. The Dudleys attack and Buh Buh hits three splashes on Guido. Big Dick clubs Smith in a corner. Buh Buh hits a avalanche in the corner. Buh Buh with the slingshot gordbuster that he has recently added to his arsenal. Dick chokes Smith in the corner. Buh Buh pulls Guido out of the corner and just steps on his balls. Dick hits a clothesline that makes Smith twist and turn through the air. Buh Buh hits Smith with a chair and the F.B.I. begin to leave. Buh Buh charges off the apron with a crossbody and Big Dick joins the fight on the floor. Back in the ring Big Dick gets taken down with a double clothesline but gets right back up and hits a double chokeslam. Dick press slams Guido out of the ring through a table. Bellomo attacks the other Dudley members. Big Dick being the protector of the family carries Bellomo to the back. Buh Buh now alone with the F.B.I. Smith hits a somersault leg drop off the top for two. D-Von hits the ring and fights off the F.B.I. with a chair. The ref calls for the bell at 6.44 and…throws out the match? D-Von gets on the mic and yells at Buh Buh for not waiting for him. Joey points out that D-Von is only around when Big Dick isn’t. D-Von levels Buh Buh with a chair. DW tries to save Buh Buh but he gets hit. Chubby now nailed. D-Von calls out Big Dick but as Highway to Hell begins playing D-Von leaves through the crowd as Dick comes back to the ring. D-Von mets up with a camera man right outside the arena and wonders where Dick is. Dick is about 5 feet behind D-Von when he starts to walk away and gets in a waiting car and drives off.

Taz (w/ Bill Alfonso, Team Taz, Tag Team Champions Eliminators, Rob Van Dam & “The Franchise” Shane Douglas) vs. Paul Varelans ref Paul Richards Shoot Fight
Varelans talks trash with Douglas. Lots of hype lead us into this match lets see if it can deliver. Alfonso gets on the mic before the match and tells Varelans he wants to choke him out to but he’s going to leave it up to Taz. “Shut the fuck up” chant by the fans and it actually gets him to stop immediately and give the mic back. The bell rings and here we go! They circle Taz gets a takedown but Paul escapes. Taz goes for a single leg but the fall into the ropes. Taz with another dive but Varelans takes Taz over and is in a mount but Taz quickly fights out of it. Taz gets kneed and Varelans goes for another one but Taz takes him down again in the ropes. Taz with a double leg but Varelans puts Taz in guard and gets an arm bar. Varelans wih a leg kick and kick to the chest. Saturn dropkicks Varelans from the top rope in the back of the head as the ref is distracted! Tazplex and Tazmission ends the match at 2.42. The crowd is shocked but a moment and then they are pissed! A big “bullshit” chant starts up. Taz gets on the mic and agrees that it was bullshit and he is happy that he got to fuck the fans again. “You ain’t shit” chant now towards Taz. “Sabu” chants as we edit away.

World Champion Raven, Stevie Richards, and Super Nova are out now. Stevie gets on the mic and says that Devine Brown wasn’t dirtiest and Bluedust was to feminine. Stevie says he found Sandman’s ex-wife Peaches. Peaches comes to the ring and drops to her knees in front of Raven. Sandman hits the ring and wants to know if this is supposed to piss him off? Sandman has already kicked her out and passed her around. He reminds Raven to pay his bills.

We cut to Joey backstage telling us that it’s now time for Raven to face IWA Japan’s pick to fight Raven.

World Champion Raven (w/ Stevie Richards, Super Nova & Peaches) vs. Terry “Bamm Bamm” Gordy ref John Finnegan
Big reaction for Gordy by the largest crowd ever in the ECW Arena. Gordy goes right after Raven throwing him out of the ring and into the crowd. Gordy with several chair shots to Raven’s back. They disappear into the crowd. When we see them again Raven is busted wide open as they fight in the aisle. They go to the stage under the commentators area and Gordy beats on Raven with chairs again. This could be the worst beating Raven has ever taken. They make it to the ring as Gordy hits a clothesline. Gordy whips Raven to a corner and hits a clothesline and does it twice. Richards comes in with a Steviekick but Gordy blocks it. Raven with a low blow. He gets barbed wire from Richards and tries to hits Gordy with it but Gordy ducks and hits another clothesline. Gordy with the oriental spike on Raven. Richards and Nova come in to try and get him off. Dreamer hits the ring and DDTs them both. “Primetime” Brian Lee now in the ring and he chokeslams Dreamer. Gordy hits a powerbomb on Lee and wraps the wire around Ravens head. Gordy smashes Raven’s head into the turnbuckle with the wire still around his head. The ref tries to stop it and Gordy knocks him down. Richards back in the ring with a Steviekick. Raven hits a DDT and retains in 6.15. Dreamer DDTs Raven on a chair. Lee chokeslames Dreamer on the chair. This is all actually happening super quick. Raven’s man attack Dreamer and Gordy when Sandman hits the ring and clears the ring. Sandman stalks Raven outside the ring. Peaches shows up dressed in grunge clothing with Tyler Sandman’s son. Raven puts the mic in front of Tyler and he says that he worships Raven. Beulah who is now in the ring gets on the mic and calls Peaches a whore. Raven drags Peaches and Tyler back to the locker room. Sandman follows them crying. Loud “Terry” chant by the crowd. Bluedust comes to the ring. Kimona Wanalaya grabs him by the balls and Beulah hits a DDT.

Tag Team Champions Eliminators vs. The Gangstas ref Jim Molineaux
This is the Gangstas final title chance. The Samoan Gangsta Party attacks the Gangstas in the aisle. The four men brawl for a bit when the Bruise Brothers hit the ringside area and attack the Gangstas. The Eliminators just wait in the ring, as the Gangstas get beat on. New Jack is covered in blood on the floor. The Gangstas are both helped to the back. Saturn gets on the mic and says they didn’t ask for the Bruise Brothers help. Saturn says they will kick their ass instead of the Gangstas. Saturn ducks a big boot and hits a superkick. Kronus and the other brother go to the floor. Saturn with a body slam and beautiful top rope elbow. There is no ref around yet. Saturn with a plancha out of the ring. Kronus gets in the ring and hits his handspring elbow. Saturn goes through a table on the floor. Kronus is bleeding. Saturn fights into the crowd and Kronus goes through a table. All four men now in the crowd fighting. In the ring Saturn misses a moonsault. Kronus gets a double big boot. The Gangstas hit the ring and everyone fights! The fight goes on for a few minutes until the referees are able to calm things down.

Samoan Gangsta Party vs. Axl Rotten & Hack Meyers ref Paul Richards
Samoan Gangsta Party made their debuts at Fight the Power by attacking the Gangstas. This is their first match in ECW. They are comprised of Sammy the Silk (Headshrinker Samu) and Big Matty Smalls (later known as Rosey). They are cousins and the sons of the Wild Samoans. Although the ring announcer says they are Samu and Mac Daddy Kane “The Gangstas of Paradise”. That’s odd because Joey talked about them two weeks ago, which is before this match was taped. So they had the names picked out then. Joey ignores the ring announcing. The two teams argue a bit and Axl starts with Smalls who Joey is now calling Mac Daddy Kane. Man am I confused. Kane with a headbutt on Axl and a body slam. Axl floors Kane with a clothesline and tags Hack in. Samu tagged in Hack fires away and Kane comes in. Hack with a double noggin knocker that of course doesn’t work. They each go to a separate corner and hit headbutts. The Gangstas hit the ring at 3 minutes ending this match. The Eliminators and Bruise Brothers also hit the ring and we have a big four team brawl. Locker room empties but they still can’t keep these guys apart. The brawl goes on for about 3 minutes as the fans chant “E-C-W”

TV Champion Pitbull 2 (w/ Francine) vs. “Lionheart” Chris Jericho ref John Finnegan
Power guy versus and speed guy here. Pitbull shoves Jericho down and out of the ring. Jericho with a back kick and he hits the ropes and goes for a spin heel kick but Pitbull catches him and power bombs him. Slam for a 2 count. Pitbull picks up Jericho for a press slam but drops him to a tombstone instead! It gets a 2 count. Jericho with a victory roll as Pitbull goes for the electiric chair. Jericho with a few clotheslines. Pitbull goes for a press slam but Jericho gets a frankenstiner. Pitbull goes to the apron and Jericho hits a springboard drop kick that sends him to the floor. Jericho with a spin kick sends him back to the floor. Jericho hits a spring board moonsault and jumps diagonal over the rope onto the champ. Pitbull whips Jericho to the guardrail and throws him back into the ring. Jericho tries to go up and over on a corner whip but Pitbull catches him and throws him onto the apron. They fight and Jericho jupms back into the ring. Jericho hits an enziguri and gets 2. Jericho ducks and clothesline but gets stun gunned on his way back to Pitbull. Canadian backbreaker by Pitbull and he runs Jericho to the turnbuckle. Super fallaway slam by Pitbull and both men are down. Shane Douglas comes to ringside and grabs Francine. Pitbull comes to make the save but Shane throws her in the way of a clotheline. Jericho goes for a plancha but Pitbull moves. Pitbull 1 comes to the ring and carries Francine back. Jericho tries to go back in the ring with a top rope frankensteiner but gets powerbombed. Jericho kicks out at 2. Jericho hits a samoan drop. Pitbull catches him on a lionsault and they reverse a tombstone 3 times. Jericho gets thrown from the position out of the ring. Douglas tries to leave with the belt. Jericho comes off the top but gets powerslamed. Jericho goes for a super frankensteiner but it looks like its going to get reversed into a superbomb mid air but Jericho hits the super frankenseiner anyway and gets the win and the title out of no where at 12.11. Jericho and Pitbull shake hands after the match and Shane freaks out at ringside.

Tommy Dreamer (w/ Beulah & Kimona Wanalaya) vs. “Primetime” Brian Lee ref Jim Molineaux Weapons Match
Not sure how a weapons match is different from any other ECW match. Dreamer’s girls bring down a shopping cart full as weapons as Dreamer comes through the crowd and attacks Lee as we get the opening bell. There are also weapons in the ring. I guess that’s the difference, they give them weapons to start. Guitar and garbage can to Lee and then they go to the floor. Lee gets the advantage and they quickly go back in the ring. They brawl back out of the ring and to the outside of the building. Dreamer gets thrown into a garage door and is busted open. Dreamer is handed a chair and hits Lee with it and throws him into the door a few times. Lee suplexes Dreamer on the road. Lee goes face first into the back of a truck. They fight back into the arena and Lee nails Dreamer with a chair. Dreamer is 0-4 in singles matches with Lee. Back in the ring Dreamer takes over with a mailbox and guitar to the head. Irish whip Lee ducks a guitar shot and hits a chokeslam. Lee gets a cinder block and bat. Beulah tries to stop him and Lee goes to choke slam her. Kimona gets in the ring and flashes Lee. Lee gets distracted and lets go. Beulah hits Lee with a frying pan, Dreamer with a stop sign to the head and DDT on the sign and gets the 3 at 9.02! The Bruise Brothers hit the ring. We edit to Lee and Dreamer on a platform above the front door. The brothers have stacked up three tables. Lee choke slams Tommy to the floor through the tables!!!!!

Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu ref John Finnegan
While Van Dam is coming down the aisle Joey tells us that the ring collapsed and we have had a 1-hour delay. Both men were given the option of not having the match tonight but since they hate each other so much they still wanted to go at it. Sabu takes off his neck brace and the match begins. Van Dam dives at Sabu’s legs and Sabu stomps his legs. Van Dam fights back but Sabu cuts him off and snap mares him. Springboard leg lariat to a seated Van Dam. The ropes break on the ring they are still attached but very loose. Sabu gets a chiar and throws it at Van Dam. Sabu hits the triple jump moonsault and Van Dam rolls to the floor. Sabu crotches Van Dam on the guardrail and hits a suicide dive into the crowd. They fight in the crowd. Van Dam leg drops Sabu in the bleachers and throws a chair at him. Back in the ring Van Dam comes off the top with a chair and flips and kinda hits Sabu with it. Air Sabu in the corner. Sabu is favoring his hand and Styles thinks he may have a broken finger. Van Dam throws a chair at Sabu. Van Dam throws Sabu into a corner picks up the chair rolls and leaves it in the middle of the ring. The chair opens up a bit as Van Dam monkey flips Sabu onto the open chair. Sabu is lucky he didn’t get really hurt landing on the wrong spot of the chair. Van Dam again throws a chair at Sabu. Sabu drop kicks Van Dam’s knee. Springboard bulldog by Sabu gets a 2 count. Van Dam flips out of a belly to back suplex and they fall to the floor. Sabu back in and Van Dam gets placed face up on the second rope. Sabu hits a leg drop for 2. Sabu picks up a chair and Van Dam spin kicks it. They go to the floor and Van Dam whips in Sabu to the rail and charges but misses. Sabu puts Van Dam on a table and runs off a chair onto the ropes and leaps into the crowd onto Van Dam who had rolled off the table. Sabu puts Van Dam on the table again. He stands on the table dazed and Sabu runs off the chair onto the ropes leaps off and DDTs Van Dam through the table. Back in the ring Sabu gets a 2 count. He goes for the triple jump moonsault but misjudges his jump to the ropes and lands crotch first. Van Dam jumps off the chair with a kick that sends Sabu to the floor. Van Dam gets a 2 count back in the ring. He sets Sabu on the top turnbuckle and goes for the fishermen buster. Sabu blocks it pushes Van Dam off and then leaps off with a DDT. Van Dam gets his foot on the rope at 1. Sabu goes up top but Van Dam cuts him off. Van Dam hits the super fishermen buster, the same move that stretchered Sabu out a few weeks ago. Sabu manages to kick out at 2. Van Dam goes for another buster but Sabu reverses it and hits one of his own. Sabu goes up top and hits a somersault Arabian facebuster. Sabu covers and gets the win at 19.39. Referees, EMTs and Paul E. Dangerously hit the ring to check in on everyone. Van Dam gets stretchered out and they go to put Sabu on one but he gets up and poses. Sabu collapses back to the mat and is put on a stretcher as our show cuts away.

My thoughts on the show
Another awesome ECW Arena show here. Top to bottom great action. Stevie Richards again is fucking gold. The shoot fight delivered in it’s short time but as a whole storyline was really good. Terry Gordy put on a hell of a show and as I said in the recap I hope he’s around for a bit. New TV Champion in Jericho, Dreamer takes a SICK bump and Sabu and Van Dam have another really good match. A must see show!