The “OH MY GOD!” Review: Maximum Xtreme Pro Wrestling “Impact TV” 4/16, 4/23, 5/7/04

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Maximum Impact 2004-04-16 (Matches taped 2003-11-14 from Omni Auditorium in Coconut Creek, Fla)

Heavyweight: D-Lo Brown
TV Champion: AJ Styles
Tag Team: Simon Diamond & Johnny Swinger

We open with the “Franchise” Shane Douglas attack on D-Lo Brown we heard about two weeks ago. Douglas jumped Brown and busted him open with a chain. Douglas on the mic says he is jonesing for the MXPW Title.

D-Lo Brown is at MXPW TV Studios and he has watched the video over and over. D-Lo wants revenge.

Michael Shane & “Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels vs. “Black Nature Boy” Scoot Andrews & Antonio Banks ref Mickie Jay
Kevin Kelly welcomes us to the debut of of Maximum Impact. SMH. Shane and Andrews start it off. We are a few seconds into the match. D-Lo joins on commentary Cyrus is gone. Nothing much happens and Daniels and Banks come in. Banks with an overhead belly to belly. We are about 5 minutes into the match and that was the first thing worth mentioning. Daniels with a spinning head scissors and he tags in Shane. Shane with a flying forearm for 2. Daniels comes back in and they do a little double teaming. Andrews able to tag but Daniels and Shane remain in control. Daniels gets sent into the ropes and Banks pulls down the rope sending Daniels to the floor. Banks in the ring now and he gets a 2 count after a spin buster. Andrews and Bank have some miscommunication and Daniels hits a DDT/downward spiral combo on both and tags Shane. Shane comes in and hits a tornado DDT on Banks for 2. Andrews and Banks take over on Shane though and Banks hits a tilt a whirl urinagi slam for 2. Banks picks up Shane onto his shoulders in a power bomb position. Andrews comes off the top rope and just completely misses and crashes to the mat. HAHAHAHAH I watch it 5 more times. I’m guessing Shane was supposed to some how move but Andrews literally just jumped off the top rope past them with out anyone moving. It looked fucking ridiculous. Daniels comes in and slams Andrews down with a urinagi and hits the BME but Banks breaks up the pin. All four men in the ring now. Banks and Andrews get whipped into each other. Shane hits Banks with a super kick. Power bomb/neck breaker combo on Banks ends the match. 10.54 was shown.

Hack “Dog” Meyers (w/ Snake Master Abudadein) vs. Glenn Gilbertti
NOOOOOOO not Hack Meyers!!! Just when I thought MXPW couldn’t get any worse. Hack sends Gilbertti to the floor after a few shoulder tackles. Back in Hack with a body slam and clothesline and Gilbertti again goes to the floor. Meyers stays in control but Gilbertti drop kicks the knees. Gilbertti locks in a figure four for Hack reverses it. Gilbertti goes back after the leg but Hack grabs him and drops him with a DDT. Hack fires back with a few clotheslines. Gilbertti though reverses an irish whip into a russian leg sweep but he misses an elbow drop. Hack with a swinging neck breaker. Tag Team Champions Simon Diamond and Johnny Swinger hit the ring. Swinger distracts the ref as Diamond hits a super kick and Gilbertti gets the win in 6.

Sean Allen vs. Angel Armani ref Mickie Jay
This is dubbed a rookie challenge, fuck me. After about 30 seconds a huge dude named Punisher comes out and hits a chokeslam on Allen and power bomb on Armani. Punisher is now my most favorite wrestler in MXPW.

Tag Team Champions Simon Diamond & Johnny Swinger (w/ Glenn Gilbertti) vs. Konnan & Norman Smiley (w/ Lollipop)
Konnan gets the mic so he can speak on this. Smiley and Diamond start things off. Smiley chases off both Diamond and Swinger with big wiggle attempts. Konnan in now with Swinger. Konnan with the rolling clothesline but then Diamond comes in and hits a super kick. Swinger now on the attack and he and Diamond make a few tags back and forth. Double clothesline puts down both Diamond and Konnan. Both men tag and Smiley hits the swinging slam. Konnan and Diamond come in. Konnan hits the x-factor. Big wiggle on Diamond. Gilbertti comes in the ring but he gets slammed by Smiley. Lollipop comes in and does the big wiggle on Gilbertti and then a bronco buster on him. Swinger nails Smiley with the title belt right in front of the ref. Swinger covers and gets the pin in 5.37. Luna Vachon comes down and attacks Gilbertti.

Hardcore Match: Dennis Knight vs. New Jack vs. Sandman ref Bruce Michaels 
It’s a hardcore match and yet the ref is taking away weapons from New Jack and throwing them out of the ring. The ref gets rid of about 3 forks but New Jack keeps taking more out of his tights. Everyone is bleeding fairly quickly. We go to commercial at 2.30. Sandman suplexes Knight onto a ladder and New Jack jumps off the top with a chair shot to the head and he gets the pin. 2.46 was shown. After the match New Jack is in the ring with a bunch of inner city kids and he says stuff.

My thoughts on the show…
Well I’m really glad I got to see Andrews fuck up that spot.

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Maximum Impact 2004-04-23 (Matches taped 2003-11-14 from Omni Auditorium in Coconut Creek, Fla)

Heavyweight: D-Lo Brown
TV Champion: AJ Styles
Tag Team: Simon Diamond & Johnny Swinger

Warlord lets us know he is in MXPW and he is here to take everyone out.

Chaz & Julio vs. Dave Johnson & Vampire Warrior (w/ Luna Vachon) ref Bruce Michaels
Julio and Johnson start off. Kevin Kelly and D-Lo talk about Johnson and Warrior’s past as the Blackhearts. Chaz and Vampire tag in and Chaz takes control of the match. Julio comes in and after being distracted by Johnson gets hit with a flap jack. Johnson and Vampire with a double russian leg sweep. We get a shot of the crowd and Chaz is hitting a tornado DDT on Vampire Warrior. I think there was an edit there. Glenn Gilbertti hits the ringside area and attacks Luna. Chaz and Julio damn never kill Johnson with a power bomb neck breaker combo for the win. 4.13 aired.

TV Champion AJ Styles vs. Chris Sabin ref Mickie Jay
AJ does a kip up into a rana, that looked really cool. We quickly go to commercial. We come back and both men are down. They get up after an eight count and charge each other and both hit a clothesline. I feel like they edited out a ton of the match. Back up and Sabin hits an enziguri for 2. Styles fights out of the cradle shock pushes Sabin to the ropes but Sabin springboards off and hits a DDT hits for 2. Styles fights back and hits the springboard reverse DDT for 2.5! Styles clash attempt but Sabin flips out and lands on his feet. Sabin again goes for cradle shock but AJ slides out and goes for a reverse DDT. Sabin goes for a swinging urinagi and Styles continues to roll through into a crucifix roll up to get the 3 count and retain the title. 3.59 was shown. Nice finish to the match. Wonder if it was any good since they edited a ton out.

“Franchise” Shane Douglas is in the ring and there is a big red “X” with censored over the screen. Kevin Kelly is talking over him saying Shane is cursing and acting like a lunatic. Ummm so they put a big “X” on the screen so we can’t see anything? Douglas is in his street clothes and says he will not be wrestling tonight in the scheduled triple threat title match.

Champion D-Lo Brown vs. Raven
Douglas is in the ring jawing with Raven the bell rings but Shane grabs the mic. Shane of course talks about the history with he and Raven. Shane decides to join back in the match. We cut to all three men in a collar and elbow tie up. They fight and then go into the crowd. The ref makes counts in the crowd as this has apparently become a falls count anywhere match. Back in the ring Raven nails D-Lo with the belt. He and Shane hit a double suplex on D-Lo. Raven with the Garvin stomp on D-Lo. D-Lo ducks a double clothesline and hits them each with his own. Leg lariat and spin kick take down his opponents. Leg drop to both Raven and Shane at the same time. Raven goes for a DDT but D-Lo reverse and goes for the sky high but Shane breaks it up. Shane grabs D-Lo and Raven misses a super kick and it hits Shane. They all start beating on each other. Atomic drop on Raven by D-Lo, belly to belly on D-Lo by Shane. DDT by Raven on Shane. Raven covers but Shane kicks out and just as he does D-Lo comes off the top with the Lo Down for the win in about 12 minutes. For some reason Raven was thrown from the middle of the ring all the way to the floor on the last kick out. He had to roll about 4 times. Raven attacks and hits a DDT on Brown after the match.

Bullrope Match: Barry Windham vs. Dusty Rhodes ref Mickie Jay 
Has Dusty ever not looked like shit? Oh man there’s like 15 minutes left. The commentary for the past 2 weeks has been dubbed in afterwards and they really lowered the original audio. It makes the crowd sound super silent. Then again most of the matches have sucked so they may just be sitting there. The lighting is also terrible so I can’t see if anyone is cheering. Rhodes gets busted open quickly. Barry now busted open as Rhodes nails him with the cow bell as they fight on the floor. Back in the ring Barry goes low and locks in a sleeper. Dusty fights out drops the bionic elbow and ends it in 9.41.

My thoughts on the show…
Please. kill. me…..

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Maximum Impact 2004-05-07 (Matches taped 2004-04-16 from War Memorial in Ft. Lauderdale, Fla)

Heavyweight: D-Lo Brown
TV Champion: AJ Styles
Tag Team: Simon Diamond & Johnny Swinger

Commentators Kevin Kelly and Chris Nelson are in the ring to start off the show. Chris Nelson says he has a big scoop for tonight that is going to change the face of MXPW.

Scott Commodity vs. Steve Madison
Kelly says people have been comparing Madison to Chris Benoit. Madison is very short but I don’t know if he’s a murderer. Madison throws around Commodity. Madison ducks a clothesline and hits a belly to back. Madison with a hard clothesline and superplex. Scoop brain buster finishes things after 3.45.

Hack “Dog” Meyers is backstage and he barks into the camera and that’s it.

Anthony Michaels vs. Hack “Dog” Meyers
Michaels attacks Meyers before the bell. Michaels ducks his head and Hack hits a swinging neck breaker. both men up and Meyers fires away. Meyers hits a big boot and leg drop for 2. Michaels fires back but misses a corner charge and is dropped with a bulldog. Meyers covers and gets the win in 3.32.

Kevin Kelly and Chris Nelson are in the ring with a few refs and a guy in a suit. Kelly says a new Director of Operations has been named. They have stripped all champions of their titles. Tonight the search for new champions starts. The new Director will be made public soon.

Market Crashers cut a generic locker room promo.

Chasyn Rance tries to get into the arena but the security guard won’t let him because he doesn’t believe that he’s actually a wrestler since he’s so tiny.

Dow Jones (w/ Nasdaq) vs. Ricky Vandal (w/ Tommy Vandal)
Things get started pretty quickly as the much bigger Jones runs over Vandal with a clothesline. Jones all over Vandal and he hits a russian leg sweep for 2. Jones with an avalanche in the corner. Jones sends Vandal into the corner again but misses a big charge. Vandal makes a comeback with a neck breaker. They fuck up the next two spots. Vandal with a big powerslam. Tommy Vandal and Nasdaq jump up on the apron. The ref goes over to Tommy which allows Nasdaq to pull Ricky’s neck down on the top rope. Jones picks him up for a side slam. Nasdaq hops in the ring and they hit a side slam neck breaker combo. Jones gets the pin in 6.05.

Chris Nelson has his big scoop and its that the Warlord is outside the arena but a bunch of security is blocking him from getting in because his name is not on the list. He gets sprayed with mace he basically no sells it beats up the guard that did it and chases all the others away.

Dennis Knight vs. Chaz
They play to the crowd a bit and Knight threatens to leave and head to the back. He comes back in and attacks Chaz. Chaz sent into the corner but he hits a head scissor to reverse Knight’s charge. They fight to the floor. Knight with a suplex on the entrance ramp and then throws Chaz back in the ring. Knights puts on a chin lock. Chaz fights off but catches a knee to the gut. Knight comes off the middle rope with a forearm to the throat. Chaz fights back and hits a powerslam and both men are down. Chaz fires away on Knight and heads to the top. Knight shakes the ropes and knocks Chaz down. Knight goes up with Chaz but gets pushed off. Chaz comes off with the mosh pit and he gets the win in 9.49.

Kevin Kelly is backstage with a writer from the Miami Herald and he is wondering if he knows who the new Director of Operations is. The guy has heard rumors of Dusty Rhodes and Kevin Sullivan. We will find out for sure on May 22nd.

My thoughts on the show…
The main event wasn’t that bad, but the rest was nothingness. No need to watch this.

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