The WWE Raw Report 8/25/14

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Raw Pre-Show 8/25/14 from WWE Studios

– It’s Saxton, Booker, and Riley as per the norm. Raw will kick off with a “Hall of Fame Forum”. Shawn Michaels, Ric Flair, and Hulk Hogan will discuss the SummerSlam match between Cena and Brock. What’s to discuss? Also on Raw, Cena vs. Wyatt tonight.

– And now it’s back to last Monday and the Paul Heyman & Lesnar promo. Just the closing moments are shown, but we’re reminded Cena gets his rematch with Brock at Night of Champion. The panel talk about how Cena’s match tonight is a must win situation after being slaughtered by Lesnar.

– And once again back to last week. Rollins vs. Ambrose. Awesome match, Rollins stomps Ambrose’s face through some “cinder blocks”. Dean goes off to make a movie, but the people in WWE can’t find him. Yay.

The movie finishes up before Night of Champions so Ambrose shouldn’t be gone long. Tonight on Raw, Seth Rollins has a eulogy planned for Dean Ambrose. Sounds lame.

– I guess this Bella thing is still supposed to be a big deal. We see Nikki slap Brie from last week’s Raw. BAM, bitch went down! Oh God, the Bellas are going to attempt a family reconciliation tonight. This Raw is sounding less and less attractive.

– We learn the Usos defend the tag titles against Gold and Stardust tonight. I hope it’s a million times better than last week. Renee Young interviews the Usos. It’s all good, because they Uso crazy. Dawg…

– Some WWE Shop shilling follows, and then a reminder about the “Hall of Fame Forum” that will kick off Raw.

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WWE Raw 8/25/14 from the Honda Center in Anaheim, California

– Jerry Lawler kicks off Raw, because Michael Cole is in the ring for the Hall of Fame Forum. We get Hulk Hogan, Flair, and HBK out to the ring. They rush the entrances, cutting Flair and Hulk’s before they even get to the ring. Bet that’s a first for them… These legends are out here to discuss Cena vs. Lesnar. HBK thinks there’s no way Cena will beat Lesnar and Flair agrees. Shawn thinks that Cena should retire and hang it up. Hogan disagrees, he thinks Cena can still go. Hogan says he’s rooting for Cena, Flair says he likes Cena, but Shawn plays total heel and says Cena doesn’t stand the chance.

Hogan reminds Michaels that Cena has beaten Lesnar too, and that at NoC it will be the rubber match. Shawn keeps playing heel and shitting on Cena, which leads to John Cena coming out… “Cena sucks” chants follow.

Cena puts over the three legends, then talks about his take on SummerSlam. John admits he got his ass beat, but says Shawn is right, he is a changed man from the fight. Cena says he’s bringing the fight to Brock, he’s not going to NoC to just beat Lesnar, he’s going there to beat his ass.

And with all those budget cuts, these guys get flown in and paid for this 10 minute segment. Wooooo, Brother, Suck it.

– Up next it’s Jack Swagger vs. Rusev….

-Commercial Break-

1. Jack Swagger vs. Rusev (w/Lana)

Ya know, there’s a guy in the Crazy Max Fantasy Football League with the Team Name “LANA = ANAL”… That’s all I’m sayin. 🙂

Swagger passed out to the Accolade at SummerSlam, but I have a bad feeling this thing is finishing up tonight. “USA” chants start the match as Rusev jumps Swags. It doesn’t take long for Jack to take over and go for the Ankle Lock. Rusev escapes by rolling to the floor. “We the People”. Rusev tries again, but again rolls to the floor, but Swags follows and knocks Rusev around. Back in the ring, Jack on the attack and clotheslines Rusev into the corner. Swags ends up getting dropped across the top rope and then tackled out of the ring as we take a commercial break with JBL exclaiming “YOU BETTER WIN JACK!”…

Back from break, Rusev with a bearhug but Swags escapes, but Rusev with a back spin kick to the face… Rusev stalls and Swagger finds time to land a Belly to Belly suplex, and a big boot on a comeback. Swagger Bomb, but Rusev gets his feet up, but Jack fakes it and lands on his feet, ANKLE LOCK APPLIED!!!! Rusev ready to tap…. The crowd is behind Swagger solidly… But Rusev gets the ropes and rolls outside yet again… Swags follows out but gets driven into the apron and reinjured his ribs from SummerSlam. RUSEV… CRUSH… But Jack’s playing possum! ANKLE LOCK!!!! But Rusev spins out… Swagger with a jackknife pin…1….2….Rusev kicks out!

Rusev fires back with a nasty kick tot he ribs of Jack and beats him down in the corner. Swagger keeps trying to fight back for America, but Rusev continues the assault. “We the People” chant actually starts… If they end this thing here, Vince can blame himself for dropping the ball this time… Lana laughs as Swagger lays on the mat after taking a lengthy beating. Rusev hits a front round kick to the ribs of Swagger and stomps him some more until the referee stops the match at 12:30. Rusev will win via referee stoppage from a lengthy pummeling to his ribs.

I guess this thing continues as Jack hasn’t jobbed out yet. Not sure what the Mark Henry thing was about last week then… No Henry this time.

The Russian Flag flies overhead as Rusev and Lana celebrate…

– Cesaro vs. RVD next to decide the #1 contender for the US Title. Well this is a giveaway…

-Commercial Break-

– Backstage, Jack Swagger is with the trainers. Bo Dallas interrupts and tells him to Bo-Lieve. Swagger tries to go after Dallas as he leaves, but his injury prevents him.

2. Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro.

Winner is the #1 contender for Sheamus’ US Title. Feuding with Sheamus? I’d rather be the loser in this match. Speaking of Sheamus, he’s on commentary… Fella. Crowd seems dead except for spots. Outside of a side kick and Rolling Thunder, Cesaro controls the first several minutes of the match and taunts Sheamus in between. RVD fights back with a split legged moonsault and a springboard side kick…. RVD sets up for the Frog Splash, but Cesaro rolls outside. RVD reaches out but gets dropped across the top rope, and the Neutralizer follows, and this thing is over to show you just how relevant any of these guys are right now. Cesaro wins in 3:30.

After the match, Cesaro snatches the US Title from Sheamus and tosses it back at him, pissing Sheamus off in the process.

– Next week the WWE Network will finally do some real updating… The first 100 hours of WCW Nitro, plus several WWF “Attitude Era” Raws… Is that 100 hours without commercials? I dunno… Either way, there will finally be some damn WCW TV… Now if they’d throw some damn Territory and Pre-Raw WWF TV up they’d have a better assortment of things to watch…

– Paige is in action next.

-Commercial Break-

3. WWE Divas Champion Paige vs. Natalya.

Natalya tries another roll up, but it doesn’t work. Paige forearms Nattie’s face off. A long abdominal stretch spot by Paige shows us just how pale she really is compared to Natalya. Nattie reverses the abdominal stretch into her own version, but it doesn’t last long. Natalya hits a suplex on Paige and locks in the Sharpshooter! But Paige makes the ropes and gets the brak. Paige tries to apply her own Sharpshooter but Natalya breaks out. Paige still manages to win it with the Paige Turner in 2:50…

– AJ Lee on her way out. AJ skips to ringside and distracts Paige, and Natalya lays her out with a spinning clothesline… AJ checks on Paige afterwards. AJ calls Paige her little “English Muffin” and says she’s sincere in their friendship. AJ then hugs Paige, and kisses her hand… Then skips away… Paige is confused…. “CM Punk” chants throughout the segment…

– Next is the Eulogy of Dean Ambrose.

-Commercial Break-

– A big picture of Ambrose is in the ring for the Eulogy. We have Kane and Seth Rollins out in black suits. Rollins at a podium to talk about the life of Dean Ambrose. Seth talks about why he selected Dean for the Shield. We go back to last week to see Seth stomp Dean’s face through the cinder blocks. Back from the video, Rollins is laughing. Rollins says Dean’s legacy will now be summed up by two words, “What if?”. Because we’ll never know. Dean should have walked away when he had the opportunity. Rollins doesn’t think we’ll see Ambrose again. Rollins says he created the Shield, and he destroyed it.

This leads to Roman Reigns making his way down. Kane meets Reigns at ringside, but Roman lays him out like a bitch… Rollins and Reigns go at it, Roman kicks his ass and smashes him in the face with the podium… lol… Reigns sets up for the spear, but Kane pulls Rollins out of the ring just in time.

I expected this segment to be much more tacky than it was. Rollins promo was good, just the right amount of time, it didn’t carry on or feature in corny nonsense. The Reigns stuff was a nice touch… Perfectly fine segment.

– Stardust and Goldust promo. They get a shot at the titles tonight, and pretend like they’ve never held them before… It’s next.

-Commercial Break-

4. Tag Champs The Usos vs. Goldust & Stardust.

The Usos start off on top with Stardust in their corner. Another match with a less than stellar crowd. Stardust takes over and tosses Jey Uso to the floor. Jimmy tries to check on his brother, but Goldust hits him with a rolling senton off the apron, then Stardust dives out onto Jey. Crowd still sucks and we’re not even half way through the show. Raw returns….

Back from break, Goldust works the arm of Jimmy Uso. Goldy and Jimmy collide when they both try body blocks. Hot tags to Stardust and Jey. Stardust takes the ass bomb in the corner, and Goldy takes a Samoan Drop. Jey with a dive over the top onto Stardust on the floor, but it appears Jey has hurt his leg. Stardust beats the count, and Jey doesn’t. Count Out in 8:00 and the Dust brothers win. Usos retain and the Dusts are pissed off.

Goldust gets on the mic going heel, saying the Usos got counted out on purpose. Goldust demands a rematch right now, but Jimmy Uso laughs at the thought. The Dust Brothers go heel and turn on the Usos, beating the crap out of Jimmy and continuing to hurt the leg of Jey. The Usos are left laying… This Dust gimmick as a heel thing? IMO it’ll be even less over…

– Up next, Brock Lesnar speaks… Recorded last week 😉

-Commercial Break-

– Seth Rollins and Kane are backstage plotting against Roman Reigns. Kane makes a match between Reigns vs. Rollins & Kane for tonight in a handicap match. They plan to end Reigns tonight like they ended Ambrose.

– Brock Lesnar interview. Taped last week at Raw, but not presented as so. Lesnar talks SummerSlam, and how Cena’s “No Give Up Bullshit” didn’t do him any favors. Heyman asks Cena how dare he invoke the rematch. Brock had pity on Cena at Slam which is why he pinned him when he did instead of inflicting more punishment. Lesnar says Night of Champions will be Cena’s last night on this universe.

– Dolph Ziggler on his way out… Ziggz gets to do the spinny belt thing around his waist again after all this time. It’s Ziggz vs. Miz… again…

-Commercial Break-

– It’s RVD vs. Rollins on Main Event tomorrow… Why bother?

5. IC Champion Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz.

The Miz isn’t dressed to wrestle because this match isn’t for the title. He says he’s been to Disneyland today because it’s a Hollywood perk. The Miz introduces his “stunt double” to replace him in his match tonight. It’s Damien Mizdow. You can see how important this thing is to the Miz now. Miz on commentary, Dolph with a dropkick and a near fall to start. Sandow takes over from there. Ziggler comes back with some of his signature stuff, but Sandow drops him and applies the Miz’s Figure Four. Dolph escapes and his the Zigzag for the win in 2:20. No crowd reaction, can’t really blame them in this instance, but they’re still a pretty crappy crowd…

– The Bella stuff is next. Blah

-Commercial Break-

– Jerry Lawler in the ring, because this Bella thing is just tearing him up inside. He needs to see them reconcile. Out comes the Bellas, separately I may note… Nikki tells Brie to get her own entrance music… LOL.. That sounds like something she’d really say. Brie pleads with Nikki to fix this and make things right. Nikki says the fans are fooled, they think Brie isn’t materialistic and is a nice woman, but it’s the opposite, it’s always about Brie. Nikki calls Brie an act… Nikki says Brie was even holding her back in the womb.

Nikki says she’s sick of being twins for the fat and ugly men who have perverted twin fantasies. Nikki verbally rapes Brie down like she owns her. I dunno, these girls can’t act, I think she’s being legit… lol. Nikki just completely trashes her… She’s sick of the scraggly hair, eco friendly, log cabin having, troll marrying Brie. It’s actually pretty cool, lol… Nikki forces Brie into tears, Lawler tries to stop her, but Nikki lays into the King and he leaves the ring.

Nikki grabs Brie by her face, says she has no sister, and wishes that Brie had died in the womb… Damn… Nikki then dumps Brie over out of her chair and beats the crap out of her. Lawler pulls Nikki off but she slaps the shit out of him off screen. Nikki attacks Brie again before she’s pulled off and taken away. Brie sits in the ring crying.

Another segment I wrote off that wasn’t all that bad. WWE made it through not one, but two bad sounding segments on a surprisingly good note. It was all Nikki here, fun promo… And for the record I don’t like the Bellas or the storyline, but the segment itself was good… So take that FWIW.

-Commercial Break-

6. Roman Reigns vs. Kane & Seth Rollins.

It’s handicap match rules, 2 on 1. I get Kane losing the mask with his movie coming out, but I don’t understand the logic behind it. Uh oh, I used the “L” word again. Logic in rasslin is not the most used thing in the world. Reigns all over Kane and Rollins whacks him with the briefcase to end this thing in like 3:00, and I’m not complaining.

Kane and Rollins expose a stack of cinderblocks again this week and plan to Curb Stomp Reigns through them. Reigns knocks Kane away, and attacks both men. Superman Punch to Rollins, and Kane gets posted and thrown over the barricade. Reigns grabs a Cinder Block and throws it at Seth’s face. Rollins ducks and the block hits the ring post and explodes. Rollins runs off while Reigns lays Kane out with a Superman Punch. No cinder block to Kane? Whyyyyyy?

– They shill the Network more… Night of Champions, 6 months of PPV’s, 100 hours of Nitro and Attitude Era Raws on the way. They call the Attitude Era Raws the best of them all… Ummm, They must have forgotten that they’re on Raw right now…

– Bray Wyatt promo. What kind of man would Wyatt be if he continued to let John Cena suffer since SummerSlam. Bray says he’s a man of mercy. Wyatt says he will put John down, if you think things are nicer on the other side, you’re wrong.

-Commercial Break-

7. Los Matadores (w/Torito) vs. Heath Slater & Titus O’Neil.

Insert promo from Slater Gator, their gimmick is Titus doesn’t even want to be in this position. Quick doublt team work on Slater to start. Titus distracts from the apron and Heath gets in a side kick to take over for the heels. Backbreakers by Titus and he barks, then Heath barks and Titus gets mad and slaps his chest to tag out. Slater gets in a big clothesline, but Titus tags himself back in. O’Neil slams the Matador on the top rope and chops the shit out of him… Heath tags back in, but the Matador counters a clothesline from Slater into a crucifix for the win in 4:15, and the crowd goes mild.

I’d still rather have a match like this than one of those “comedy” segments…

– We relive the Hall of Fame Forum for like the FOURTH TIME tonight. I get it. More hype for Cena vs. Wyatt, but we’ve got one more segment ahead of them.

-Commercial Break-

– Big Show and Mark Henry vs. Rowan & Harper on Smackdown.

8. Bo Dallas vs. Kofi Kingston.

It’s babyface Kofi, without the recent stable buddies. What an odd thing to even start and drop. Bo’s push in recent weeks has been a little confusing, but we’ll see… Kofi starts off on fire, but runs into a hard knee from Bo, and Dallas takes control… Kingston comes back with a springboard dropkick and some signature offense. Kingston goes for a double jump moonsault, but Dallas shoves him off the top and Kingston takes a nasty bump… A sloppy Bo-Dog gets the win in 2:00. Where’d your buddies go, Kofi?

– Bo tells Kofi that he isn’t like Swagger. Kofi only let himself down. Swagger let down the entire country. Bo-Lieve! Swagger hits the ring and lays Dallas out with the spinebuster slam thing that he does.

-Commercial Break-

– After several weeks away from the format, we’re back to the traditional 9 match card this week.

– Jericho’s Highlight Reel returns next week with Randy Orton… What happened with this Wyatt angle???

9. John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt (w/Rowan & Harper).

Cena’s first TV match since Slam here. Wyatts get a black out entrance to save time. Cena is pissed and lays Bray out early. Don’t tell me they’re going to sacrifice Wyatt to get Cena’s new attitude over… Cena hits Bray with a German Suplex as a message to Brock… Cena with a Saito Suplex. John beats Wyatt down in the corner and hits a running knee to his face. Another German suplex by Cena, and a stiff ass clothesline… Poor Bray, and his character, buried at the expense of John Cena.

Bray finally breaks another German with elbows and the fans finally pop. Wyatt hits an avalanche in the corner, but Cena comes back and tackles him to the mat. John on top, and Rowan & Harper interfere and attack Cena. The Wyatts are DQ’d in 5:00.

It’s a 3 on 1 beat down, which leads to Big Show and Mark Henry making the save. I assume we’ll have a six-man after the break, so that another babyface can do the selling…

-Commercial Break-

10. John Cena, Big Show & Mark Henry vs. Bray Wyatt, Erick Rowan & Luke Harper).

Match is in progress with Show in charge of Rowan. Henry tags in but now the Wyatt Family get control. Bray is pissed off from the last match, so he takes it out on big Mark. All three Wyatts take turns getting heat on Mark. Harper charges Henry in the corner but runs into a boot, and Show gets the hot tag… For a second… Harper lays Show out with a giant dropkick. Now the Wyatts works over Show. Wyatt with a senton on Show for 2… Harper with a superkick on Show for 2… Wyatt slaps Big Show around, and Show hits a CHOKESLAM on Bray out of nowhere, and both men are down… Hot tags to Cena and Harper… German Suplex on Harper and Cena is going to kill someone. Cena with some ground and pound and right into the STF for the tap out in 7:00… Just that quick…

Rowan comes in and gets an AA… Wyatt comes in and takes an AA…. Harper is picked up and takes an AA….

Thumbs slightly up here this week. Nothing was “amazing”, but there was enough decent stuff here that the show didn’t drain me. The only segment that tanked for me was the Hall of Fame panel thing, but it was short and wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t good. Star power and big names don’t guarantee a good segment, and I know this. There were a lot of throw away matches or short matches to further angles, but the interview segments were above any expectations that I had. The Cena stuff was interesting, but it makes me wonder what’s next for the Wyatts… But hey, no HHH, no Stephanie, and I’ll take that.

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Raw “Backstage Pass” Post Show

– The panel talks John Cena, and his new attitude, utilizing the German suplex to send a message to Lesnar.

– Then, as if we haven’t seen it enough, we go back to the Hall of Fame Forum. Well, they made sure to get their money’s worth out of this segment. The Cena vs. Lesnar talk continues.

– Moving on to the Reigns vs. Rollins/Kane match. The panel talks Dean Ambrose’s injury, and then Reigns and the cinder blocks. The panel talks the Shield, who the leader was, and how Reigns hasn’t let it go just yet.

– With a couple minutes to go, they touch on the Bella feud, “I wish you had died in the womb”… and that’ll do it for tonight…

This is likely my last “Backstage Pass” unless something interesting is supposed to develop during a future show. The kids are back to school, and honestly I’d rather spend this time winding down and actually enjoying what I’m watching. There’s really nothing to report on these shows other than guys sitting around in this new studio format and recapping things I’ve already written above.

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Quick note to my weekly readers. Next Monday night, 9/1/14 (Labor Day), I will not be covering Raw live as I will be taking part in the annual CrazyMax Fantasy Football Draft beginning at 8pm. We still plan to provide both Raw Results and Superstars spoilers that evening on the CrazyMax site, however the odds of me laying out a full Raw Report are unlikely at this time. If the show seems “Review worthy”, I can write up a post review next Tuesday. Regardless of that fact, we will provide you with full Raw Results next Monday night.

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