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Raw Pre-Show 7/28/14 from WWE Studios
– It’s Byron Saxton, Booker T, and Alex Riley in the studios. Yawn… They do some plugging of WWEShop, Lesnar being back, and other random things. We then go to video of HHH bringing Brock Lesnar out from last week’s Raw. The panel talks Cena vs. Brock at SummerSlam.
– Up next, we go back to last week and the Brie Bella/Stephanie McMahon altercation where Steph winds up being arrested. I still argue this because Brie stole the microphone, and as a fan she had no right to do that and should have had charges pressed against her instead. But whatever. Wayyy too much logic in that. So yeah, at least they edited out HHH making the joke about the police car being a hybrid… Panel talks Steph and Brie, and note that McMahon has asked Bella to appear on Raw tonight… You can cut the tension with a knife…
– Moving on to Bray Wyatt/Jericho and the locker room crap they aired last week that was taped at Battleground… All this talent involved, and the writers can’t come up with anything better than attacking Jericho in the locker room and doing your finisher. My FIVE year old does that on his video game… Let’s put some thought into the creative process, I think we’re past the point where returning stars don’t need compelling stories to draw the interest….
– We go back through the AJ vs. Paige storyline dating back to the post-Mania Raw all the way up to the “turn” last week…
– Renee Young interviews Paige about the turn… Paige says everything is fine, that she had a spat with AJ last week, but things are better now, riiiight… Are we really going that route with the angle? Ugh…
– Quick mention of Rollins attacking Ambrose on Smackdown.
At this point I’ve noticed they haven’t announced a single Raw match… That could be a bad thing… We do learn that Cena is kicking off Raw… Well, there ya go, time to head to the kitchen…
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WWE Raw 7/28/14 from the Toyota Center in Houston, TX
– Out comes John Cena, and he isn’t his usual happy self today, because his worst fear has come true, he has to wrestle Brock Lesnar again. He says he knows he will be beaten up, the fans cheer. lol… Cena says he will be beaten down, but he will win. The fans don’t want Brock as champion, but Cena doesn’t think anybody else can stop him and he will run over the company….
At this point, Paul Heyman walks out to the stage… His client Brock Lesnar will conquer John Cena and take the WWE Title, the same way he conquered the streak… To cut a 7 minute promo down to a sentence, Cena will be victimized and conquered…
Cena is tired of the crap… He and Heyman share passion… Heyman was passionate about ECW, and Cena is passionate about WWE… Brock Lesnar is a “super athlete” but he has no heart and has no passion for anything but himself… And that’s why Cena will win… Cena actually closes the segment strong….
Cesaro shows up and hugs Paul Heyman, to even Paul’s surprise… Heyman looks on confused, while Cesaro defends Heyman, who he says is still his good friend… Cesaro calls Cena a jacked up billboard with K-Mart shoes who can’t wrestle… lol… Gets a pop from the fans… Cesaro challenges Cena to a match…. Heyman starts to talk, but Cena cuts him off…. Cena says they can have their match…. RIGHT NOW!!!
I can only hope this match is as good as their first one on Raw a few months back…
-Commercial Break-
1. WWE Champion John Cena vs. Cesaro. Non-Title action… We get some headlocking and whatnot to start, Cesaro is shot into the ropes and Cena tries some kind of leap frog or cross body, or some shit… But Cesaro catches him mid-air and turns it into a tilt-a-whirl slam… It’s back and forth from there, Cena gets a near fall, Cesaro knocks Cena off the apron to the floor to try for a count out, but Cena is back in plenty of time to try and return to the offense…. Cena tries a bulldog out of the corner, but Cesaro throws him off and attacks him on the mat as we take a commercial break…
Back from break, Cena is starting to make his comeback… Shoulderblocks, the half-ass Blue Thunder Bomb but Cesaro counters it with a DDT for a near fall… Cesaro sets up for the Giant Swing, but Cena pulls himself up and floats over into a sunset flip for 2… Cena hits a POWERBOMB, again for a near fall… Cena goes to the top rope but gets knocked to the apron… Cesaro SUPERPLEXES Cena back in from the apron for a near fall… Cena fights back with a Tornado DDT but it’s countered into the CESARO SWING!!!! Cesaro locks in an inverted type Scorpion Death Lock, but Cena rolls it into an STF but Cesaro gets the ropes…
Blue Thunder Bomb, Five Knuckle Shuffle, and Cena goes for an AA off the middle rope, but Cesaro breaks free and sends Cena to the mat… Cesaro off the top with a flying crossbody, but Cena rolls through and stands up still holding on to Cesaro and up into the AA…. Cesaro flips onto his feet from the move and hits a big boot, thenj throws Cena into the air for a EUROPEAN UPPERCUT!!! 1……….2………..Soooo close… Cena kicks out…
Cesaro sets up for the Neutralizer but gets backdropped, and CESARO STILL LANDS ON HIS FEET!!! Cesaro tries a boot, Cena blocks and knocks him to the apron… Cesaro goes to the top rope, but he’s met by Cena, and a AA OFF THE TOP ROPE!!! 1……2………3… Cena wins in 14:00….
They play up that Brock Lesnar couldn’t even kick out of a Super-AA like that… Not sure if that’s to play towards a spot at SummerSlam, or if I’m reading too much into it…
– Backstage, Stephanie McMahon is talking to HHH… She doesn’t know if she can go back home after being arrested and look her children in the eyes… Randy Orton doesn’t give a crap about that, so he interrupts.. Randy is pissed that HHH changed the SummerSlam main event from him vs. Cena to Brock vs. Cena… HHH says he’s not changing it back because Roman Reigns will interfere… There are no more title shots for Orton until he finishes off Roman Reigns… Orton is pissed, he says he will finish Roman Reigns tonight, but HHH says Reigns already has a match with Kane… Orton says he has a problem with Kane, a problem with Reigns, and now he has a problem with HHH… The two men stare down as we fade to black…
-Commercial Break-
– Paige is announced on her way to the ring… Paige mocks AJ by skipping to the ring… Paige is out for an interview, says AJ is still her best friend in the world and she is so sorry for last week… Paige says she let her emotions get the best of her and she wants to apologize…
AJ is out next, skipping and smiling as if nothing has happened… AJ says she knows what it’s like to be mad and have the title taken away… AJ says if Paige wants to be like AJ, then she should act like AJ and stop playing games and be a real woman…
Paige insists she truly is AJ’s friend, and if AJ doesn’t believe that then she’s crazy… There’s that word… CRAZY… Paige apologizes for using the word but notes AJ’s mental well being… AJ attacks shortly afterwards and the fight goes to the floor… Paige ends up running up the aisle and begs for AJ to be her friend… AJ stares with a hot slutty look from the ring steps… “CM Punk” chants follow…
Paige still insists they’re friends… AJ continues to stare her down with that hot psycho look… Light it up…
-Commercial Break-
Well, I wasn’t going to type anything with some form of hope that this segment might be a match…. But now I can officially say it… We’re an HOUR into the show and have had ONE match… A solid match, but one match in an hour? Who the eff booked all these interview segments in the same hour???
– It’s The Authority, HHH and Stephanie now in the ring to address the whole slapping and arrest situation from last week… “Jail bird” chants from the fans as Steph pretends to tear up… HHH is disgusted and angry with the fans for laughing at Stephanie last week… In other news, there’s an awesome gigantic picture of Damien Sandow’s head in the audience…. Some more HHH talk, nothing of any relevance…
Stephanie then asks Brie Bella to come out to the ring, but instead we get…… CHRIS JERICHO…
Well, I’ll be honest, that wasn’t expected…
Jericho says he sympathizes with Stephanie and wants to sing her a song… He begins to sing the “Bad Boys” theme from Cops, and the fans sing along… HHH asks if Jericho thinks it’s funny, and the fans chant “YES!”… Jericho tells Stephanie that Orange is the new Black… Jericho mocks her some more… HHH cuts him off… So Jericho then makes fun of HHH…. Jericho wants to know why HHH didn’t go with Stephanie to the police station… Jericho starts to use his old line on Stephanie, but HHH cuts him off before he can say the word whore…
HHH tells Jericho he needs to focus on Bray Wyatt instead of them… Jericho wants Wyatt right now!!! HHH tells Jericho he has to wait until SummerSlam… But instead, Jericho gets blasted in the back by Seth Rollins and the briefcase….
Tonight it’s Jericho vs. Rollins on Raw…
-Commercial Break-
Just to keep score, we’re now AN HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES into the show and have had one match… And now we’re “treated” to the Miz…
2. Dolph Ziggler & The Usos vs. The Miz & Ryback and Curtis Axel. Some quality guys in here, the entire babyface team, and like it or not Rybaxel has evolved for the better since coming together… The Miz… Well… Let’s get to the action… Ziggler takes a quick ebating before hot tagging to an Uso… We’ll call him Jey… Axel takes some Curt Hennig bumps for nostalgia purposes, and Jey Uso knocks Curtis out of the ring. Ryback tries to help his partner, but Jimmy Uso launches himself off the barricade onto Ryback. The Miz comes around to help, but Ziggler slides out to confront him and Miz just runs away. It should be noted Miz has yet to tag in and is still wearing his sunglasses.
We see Xavier Woods, Big E, and Kofi Kingston standing backstage watching this match on TV. And now we take a break…
Back from break, Kofi, Woods, and Big E are now at ringside watching the match. The Miz has an Uso on the mat with a chinlock with the crowd chanting “We Want Ziggler”. The heels get all kinds of heat on Uso… Miz tries to stop Jey, but Jey kicks him off and makes a hot tag to Ziggler… Ryback counters a Famouser and he and Ziggler have a nice counter spot ending with the jumping DDT on Ryback, but Miz breaks up the count…
Axel and Miz end up on the floor… Jimmy Uso dives out onto Axel, Jey starts to dive onto Miz but gets dropped across the ropes… Miz tries to distract Ziggler, Ryback picks Dolph up for a Powerbomb, but Ziggler turns it into the ZIGZAG!!!!! 1……….2………3…..
Dolph wins again!!! That’s 2 in a row!!! What momentum!!! Match went 10:30… Story here was The Miz dodged Ziggler the entire match, and after losing, Miz just takes his IC Title and puts his shades on like it was no biggie… No idea where the New Nation went to…
-Commercial Break-
Well, let’s see who R-Truth is jobbing to this week…
3. R-Truth vs. Bo Dallas. Okay, that answers that… Wonder if Truth is going to join the New Nation next… Bo tackles R-Truth and runs a victory lap around ringside, he climbs back inside gets rolled up and pinned… PINNED?????? Are you frickin kidding me???? He loses his winning streak to the most beaten guy in the company??? Match couldn’t have went a minute…
After the match, Bo can’t “believe” what just happened and tells Truth it’s okay.. Bo then snaps and beats the crap out of truth inside and outside the ring… Bo then smiles big after the loss… and does another victory lap… and he’s still over… Eat that creative…
-Commercial Break-
We’ve got Lana and Rusev in the ring… Lana tries to cut a promo, but Houston is extra loud with their “USA” chants. Lana trashes America and the American flag… Big shock. Lana mocks Obama, then mocks George W. Bush since he’s from Texas… Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger cut them off….
Swagger is holding the American flag… Colter puts over America and the flag… They’re super over… Colter starts talking about American traditions and heritage chanting “We the People” in between…
Jack Swagger charges down the aisle and meets Rusev with a forearm driving him to the ground. The fight goes on with Rusev driving Swagger into the barricade as a gigantic “USA” chant begins… They take the fight into the ring where Rusev sets up for the Accolade, but Swagger counters with the Ankle lock. Rusev escapes to the apron but gets knocked off…
GIANT “USA” chant once more… Jack Swagger my friends… Is over… We the People…
Looks like this is continuing to SummerSlam after all. Glad to see it…
-Commercial Break-
Houston, we have a problem… Damien Sandow in an Astronaut outfit… I kid you not…
And it gets worse from there with the Exotic Express and Adam Rose. The Rosebuds may officially be the most irritating thing ever for me. Rose cuts a promo, Sandow attacks, the match begins.
4. Adam Rose vs. Damien Sandow. Match goes about 5 seconds before Rose hits the Party Foul. No, really. It’s over in seconds.
I don’t really know what they spend per segment, but you can’t tell me under any circumstance that this is good business. They’re slashing the budget all over the place, why not utilize your TV time for wisely?
-Commercial Break-
Apparently Dean Ambrose isn’t here tonight… Well there goes half my interest… But he will face Del Rio tomorrow on Main Event.
It’s time for Kane vs. Roman Reigns… As Reigns makes his way through the crowd, he’s attacked by Randy Orton. The two fight their way to ringside. Reigns momentarily drops both of them, but Kane rolls Reigns into the ring… Roman with a Samoan Drop on Kane… Orton attacks Reigns but takes the SUPERMAN PUNCH… Reigns turns around into a CHOKESLAM from Kane…
Kane leaves and allows Randy Orton to handle the downed Reigns…
Orton works over Reigns in the ring and tosses him outside… Randy says he’s not going to let Reigns prevent him from getting a title shot. Orton throws Reigns into the steps twice and then hits the suspended DDT off the barricade into the floor. Orton starts screaming “you tossed me my title shot” and then an RKO on the announce table, and ANOTHER RKO on the announce table… The second one breaks the table… Pretty cool…
Roman is out, and now we have another SummerSlam match…
5. Roman Reigns vs. Kane But you know what, that’s okay, because this segment was WAYYY better than any Kane match… That was the best Randy Orton has been made to look in a long time, and I’m not even a fan… Good segment, now if Randy can just keep that heat… I loved the initiative to hit the move a second time to break the table… Looked awesome…
-Commercial Break-
After the break, Roman Reigns is trying to pull himself up at ringside.
5. Diego vs. Fandango. Not only does Diego have Torito with him, but Leyla and Summer Rae as well… This should be another quick match. Fadango drops Diego and goes up top for the legdrop. Torito climbs another rope to mock Fandango and gets his attention. Fandango goes after Torito, but Torito jumps onto the Divas shoulders. Diego hits a springboard subset flip for the win in 1:20.
Fandango takes a gore to the nuts after the match.
So tonight has went like this as far as matches go… One match in the first hour and fifteen minutes. Then the 6-man tag took place 45 minutes after the first match. Then we followed with matches that went a minute, 5 seconds, the Kane match didn’t happen (thank God), and now another 1:00 match…
-Commercial Break-
– Another Stardust and Goldust Promo… They’ve already had matches, I don’t get this regression back to backstage skits for the last few weeks, but they’re irritating and make NO SENSE… They search for the “Cosmic Key”… Me thinks that Star dust that Stardust is blowing came from a key alright…
6. Naomi & Natalya vs. Cameron & Alicia Fox. Fox and Nattie start, Naomi tags in and Fox stays in control. Alicia gives the match to Cameron. Cameron VERY SLOPPY on Naomi dumps her in the corner. Cameron climbs on Naomi and slaps her, Naomi hooks her back into a sunset flip and turns it into a weird looking leg scissors submission hold. Cameron tapes out of nowhere, but it was for the best… Match was 2:00.
And the Divas are quickly rushed out of the ring, because here comes Chris Jericho! Which means Stephanie and Brie close the show… Why am I acting surprised…
-Commercial Break-
7. Chris Jericho vs. Seth Rollins. Jericho takes Rollins to the floor to start, Chris tries to follow Seth back in the ring but takes a stiff shot and falls to the floor. Rollins tries a dive but gets nails in the ropes… Jericho takes over in the ring and hits an enzuigiri for 2… Rollins comes back and tries a dropkick, but Jericho holds onto the ropes, thing is Rollins does a backflip with the dropkick and LANDS ON HIS FEET!!! Rollins still gets dumped to the apron and Chris Jericho hits a springboard clothesline over the top rope and both men tumble to the floor… Jericho in control as we go to break…
Back from break, we learn that Jericho missed a corner splash and hit the post as he fell to the floor… Rollins followed up with a suicide dive and now Seth has control… Rollins works over Jericho, but now he misses a corner splash… Jericho with a comeback… Chris tries the bulldog, but Rollins breaks free and hits the spinning JTG clothesline thing for 2… Jericho keeps trying to come back, but Rollins keeps landing counters. Seth goes up to the top rope, but Jericho goes up for a Superplex. Rollins fights Jericho off, but Chris hits a BACKDROP off the top rope!!!! Jericho with a cross body for a near fall….
More back and forth by the two until Seth powerbombs Jericho into the corner… Seth tries the Curb Stomp, but Chris counters with a roll up for 2… Jericho tries the Walls, but can’t turn him over… Rollins counters out and hits the pele kick… Seth comes after Jericho, but it’s Chris with the CODEBREAKER!!!
The Lights go out… The lights back on, Rollins is gone, but the entire Wyatt Family are in the ring…
Harper and Rowan beat down Chris, and Wyatt lands Sister Abigail…
No Contest? DQ? match went about 12:45.
Jericho is laid out, and the Wyatts have done what they came to do… But they need to add more to this angle than Jericho just getting laid out every week… With stars like this, your story needs more depth…
– When we come back, it’s Steph and Brie…
-Commercial Break-
– Looks like it’s Jericho vs. Rowan for Smackdown…
– Stephanie McMahon is back out to confront Brie Bella… Funny how HHH isn’t here this time, isn’t it? Stephanie represents four generations of McMahons, I guess there were no McMahons before that… Steph can’t face the company sponsors, business associates, her children, all because she was humiliated and put in jail last week.
The Bellas music hits, but Brie is already at ringside… lol… Brie wants Stephanie to get to the point instead of being a rich bitch. Steph asks Brie to drop the charges… Steph says she doesn’t deserve it. Brie says she deserves it and deserves to go to hell… Ouch… Stephanie apologizes for how she has treated Nikki, she offers to give Nikki a raise…
Brie says she’s cool with the raise for her sister, but she has more demands… Brie wants her job back… Stephanie isn’t so sure… Brie starts to leave. Stephanie finally agrees to re-hire Brie to get the charges dropped…
But Brie isn’t done… She wants one more thing…. Brie wants a match at SummerSlam… Against Stephanie!!! Dun Dun Dunnnnn… “YES!” chants follow…
Stephanie says she hasn’t been in the ring in 10 years. She’s been working the business side of things, and living as a wife and a mother… Stephanie declines and says she won’t lower herself to that. Steph starts to cry, but Brie says she will see her in court… Brie starts to leave, but Stephanie thinks it over… A crying McMahon agrees to the match in order to get Brie to drop all of the charges…
Stephanie, crying, tells Brie to remember one thing… That at SummerSlam… SHE SLAPS BRIE OFF THE APRON… Nice… And the fake tears go away… Steph then says she’s going to make Brie her BITCH… Steph gloats and mocks the fans, when Brie attacks Stephanie!!! The Cat Fight is on… Brie is pulled back, but attacks Stephanie a second time… Crowd really into it…
Brie wants Stephanie, and McMahon is equally as pissed as she’s dragged to the back telling Brie that she’s her bitch… Angle has heat now…
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WWE Raw “Backstage Pass” Post Show
– The panel is back to talk Raw, and the hot topic is of course Stephanie and Brie…
– Next is the Jericho segment which led to the Rollins match, and ultimately the Wyatt attack… They talk the Jericho/Wyatt feud.
– They move on to Roman Reigns and Randy Orton, and then Cena vs. Lesnar… Just another PPV hype show… These Pre shows and Post shows have become nothing… That’s it peoples…
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