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Raw Pre-Show 6/2/14
– We kick things off with this weeks’ panel consisting of Josh Matthews, Booker T, Alex Riley, and Xavier Woods.
– We go back to Payback and highlights of the Shield defeating Evolution, and the press conference with the Shield that followed… They realllllly need to drop the Press Conference bit, it looks so over the top fake that it’s embarrassing… They’re better off just having Renee Young conduct an interview… Panel discusses the Shield beating the boss…
– We’ve got Paige vs. Cameron being taped for Superstars… Cameron’s playing heel for some reason… They show a good chunk of the match with Paige getting the win with her submission finisher…
– A few shorts clips from the Cena vs. Wyatt match from Payback, and a discussion on the future for both…
– Big E in the ring for some Superstars action against Titus O’Neil… We catch clips from the Daniel Bryan and Stephanie fiasco from last night… For those who missed the PPV, Brie QUITS and then slaps Steph, and you just know the panel follows this up with their thoughts…
– Out come the commentators and we’re 3 short minutes away from Raw… Booker T randomly proclaims himself the best WCW Champion of all time…
– We’ve got Rowan and Harper challenging the Usos tonight…
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WWE Raw 6/2/14 from Indianapolis, IN
– It’s Evolution out first in suits, except Randy Orton who’s dressed to wrestle, hmmm… Michael Cole says the fans are mocking them…. HHH puts on a super pissed off face… “Bluetista” chants… HHH informs us that IT’S NOT OVER…. The Shield and the fans don’t get it, HHH says he doesn’t lose, he will never lose, he won’t stop until the Shield no longer exists…
Batista says he’s done with the Shield, he wants a WWE Title match, period… HHH takes the mic back and says he’s the boss and the leader… Batista says he doesn’t care about HHH’s plan, he doesn’t care about the Shield, he wants a WWE Title match, and he wants it TONIGHT…. HHH reminds Batista that Daniel Bryan is injured and can’t defend… HHH says even if the match happened, Batista would choke… HHH apologizes for the hostility… He says Batista can have his title shot, but not until Batista helps him take out the Shield…
Batista says he understands….. and he QUITS!!!!! Batista leaves the building… HHH tells him not to come back when his movie fails… HHH yells for Batista to come back, but he’s GONE…. Tister quits…. Again….
The fans initially pop for Batista quitting, but he leaves so fast and the segment ends so abruptly, the fans just go silent… HHH it all pissed, and Orton just stands in this entire segment as an afterthought…
-Commercial Break-
– Interview backstage with Batista as he leaves, he’s sick of being lied to, the empty promises, he’s DONE…
1. Sheamus & Rob Van Sam vs. Bad News Barrett & Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman). Paul heyman on commentary. Sheamus and Cesaro go at it for the first couple of minutes, then Barrett tags in to take over, but Sheamus gets the tag to RVD… RVD and Barrett go at it for a minute before Bad News tosses Van Dam to the floor and we go to commercial…
Back from break, Barrett hits RVD with a big boot for 2… Cesaro tags in with the gutwrench, and they stumble before he gets it off… Barrett back in and he’s all over RVD, knocking him back to the floor.. Cesaro tags back in and throws RVD into the barricade and then back inside… The heels dominate, Cesaro takes a cheapshot and sends Sheamus off the apron… RVD finally takes Cesaro down and hot tags to Sheamus, just as Cesaro tags Barrett… The two champs go at it… Sheamus takes down both heels… Sheamus calls for the Brogue on Cesaro but Heyman warns him in time and he moves… Barrett attacks with the Winds of Change on Sheamus for 2…. Heyman and Cesaro leave ringside, walking off and leaving Barrett to fight alone… RVD tags in, Sheamus hits the Brogue kick on Barrett and RVD finishes it off with the Frog Splash for the win in 14:00…
I’d call this a good “Raw match”… The tag formula was basic, which means it was good, and the match was okay… Nothing great, but it was good for free TV…
I admire then getting both Sheamus and RVD out of the way in the same segment of the show, they actually work much better this way, but I fear what this may open up time for as the show progresses…
-Commercial Break-
– We’re back with Damien Sandow as “Lance Stephenson”, he puts over Lebron James and rips on the Indiana Pacers… Lots of cheap heat, and this random gimmick thing NEVER works… There’s a basketball hoop in the ring as Sandow does basketball “tricks”… And now here comes the Big Show, and we’re not even 40 minutes into the show and we’ve got comedy segment number one…
Sandow talks about his “mad skills” and asks Big Show if “he got game”… Sandow passes Show the ball and tells him to try and score past him… Big Show throws the ball back at him, KNOCKS HIM OUT with the punch, and then Slam Dunks the ball in the hoop which might be 6 feet tall…
I like to think I have a pretty good sense of humor, but I have no idea what the point of this type of crap is… I know it might have got some chuckle or some anger from the locals, but in general, the segment by itself, just… why? And the stock drops another 0.68% and they wonder why…
-Commercial Break-
2. Kofi Kingston vs. Bo Dallas. It’s our match we never got last night… It’s nice to see Kofi back so soon, and he’s always smiling no matter how much they crap on him… Now that’s a company man… Bo starts off with even more cheat heat on the Pacers… Dallas says the Heat won, especially Lebron, is because they all BO-LIEVE…. Kingston with some fancy footwork early, but Bo counters a backdrop with a neckbreaker and takes over… Bo preaches and talks about Bo-Lieving during the match.. The fans chant “BO-Ring”… clever…. Kofi back on top with some chops, a dropkick and a splash in the corner for 2… Kingston with a monkey flip and high cross body for 2… Kingston lands a big kick and tries another monkey flip but Bo drops him across the top rope… They screw up a Bo-Dog and Kofi lands on Bo’s leg, somebody will be getting talked to in the back for that one no doubt… Bo gets the win, even with the botched finish… Match was 4:00….
Bo takes a celebration lap around ringside and tries to hug Kofi but gets pushes away…
– Renee Young with Stephanie in the back. Steph says she’s going to the ring to make an announcement about the WWE Title… Next!
-Commercial Break-
– Stephanie McMahon is out, talking about how Daniel Bryan made Brie fall on the sword last night, and how Bryan was selfish last night thinking about himself over the fans. Stephanie announces that IF Bryan can compete at MITB he will face Kane in a Stretcher Match… NO NO NO NO NO… If Bryan can’t compete, then the WWE World Title will be vacated and the winner of the MITB match will be the new champion…. So what was the point of getting him to surrender the title last night if you can just strip him anyway???
John Cena is out… Lots of heat on Cena, “Cena Sucks”… Cena tells Stephanie that what she’s doing with the WWE Title is not “best for business”… Cena says nobody is bigger than the WWE Title, not even the spoiled Stephanie… Cena puts Daniel Bryan over to no end, and says he’s a real champion and he’s been screwed… Stephanie says Bryan isn’t a true champion like Cena because he can’t defend the title…
Cena says Stephanie’s hatred for Bryan has screwed up BUSINESS, and that Stephanie sucks as a boss and has screwed up the entire WWE because of her dwelling on Bryan… Cena gives her a 0 on a scale of 1-10…. Stephanie doesn’t care what “grade” Cena gives her… Stephanie makes a match with Cena vs. Kane tonight to show how tough he is… and the match is right now…
Stephanie says Payback is a bitch, but so is she… And only a bitch would book a Kane match for me to watch, so I tend to agree…
And here comes Kane…. I won’t blame you if you hit the bathroom now… Here’s a segment or two of crap coming… You have the option of not sitting through it, I on the other hand… not so lucky…
-Commercial Break-
3. John Cena vs. Kane. Thankfully, the match started during break, so it saves me from at least one minute of crap… Kane is working over Cena as we come back… Cena hits a dropkick, but Kane right back on top with a side slam for 2… Kane tries the chokeslam and Cena does a hokey escape, followed by the basic shoulderblock, blue thunder bomb thingy, and five knuckle shuffle routine… Cena tries to AA but Kane escapes… Cena needs a new finisher, everyone escapes… Kane knocks Cena into the corner and beats him down, drawing a crappy DQ win for Cena in 4:00…
But hey it’s over right????
No, Kane continues, driving Cena into the stairs. Kane tries to tombstone Cena on the steps, but John slides behin and shoves Kane into the post, then throws the stairs at Kane… You ever notice the steps get ten times heavier when Cena lifts them than when anyone else does??? Anyway, so Cena throws the stairs at Kane’s arm, and somehow that knocks Kane out…. Cena exits quickly, and Kane snaps like he’s Alicia Fox… No wait, his tantrum wasn’t nearly as crazy or long as Alicia’s, so Kane looks second rate…
All I can say is, all of the Kane stuff was over in 6:00, so I can’t complain. It could have been far worse, like a Bryan vs. Kane stretcher match or something…
– Renee Young interviews Randy Orton. Randy says Batista took his ball and went home, but Orton is still on the same page with HHH…. Orton says he will wrestle Roman Reigns tonight…
And if you’re keeping track, we’re half way through the show… 90 minutes… and we’ve had 3 matches, two of which lasted 4:00…
-Commercial Break-
We just finished a “serious segment”, so now….. Sigh… It’s back to what they call “comedy”…
3MB bring out Hornswoggle, who is now sporting an Afro with a pick in it… Might be Darren Young’s pick while he’s away…
Michael Cole reference Welcome Back Kotter….
4. Los Matadores (w/Torito) vs. 3MB – Heath Slater and Drew McIntyre (w/Hornswoggle & Jinder Mahal ). Torito rips Hornswoggle’s wig off, Horny runs away, Heath Slater gets distracted and rolled up… Whole thing went about a minute… Matadores win, and this entire crapfest has ran it’s course… Should add that Hornswoggle left his hair the way it looked after getting it cut last night, for some reason he opted not to get the rest of it cut/shaven… Stupid…
Just more of your WWE humor…. as the stock drops another 0.39%….
-Commercial Break-
– WWE Special Olympics promo. Can the WWE do ANYTHING related to charity or support without making it public??
5. Nikki Bella vs. Alicia Fox and Aksana. Stephanie made this match out of spite to Brie Bella… Fox hits Nikki in the back early on to give the heels the advantage… Nikki tries a roll up on Fox for 2… but Fox comes back with a scissors kick to the back of Nikki’a head for the win in just over a minute…
Even when Fox wins she’s nutty, doing another of her “crazy” routines… Aksana and Fox take Nikki the floor and beat her down some more… tossing Bella into the barricade to finish her off…
– Luke Harper promo from the back. We see an empty rocking chair where Bray Wyatt usually sits… Harper says they continue what Wyatt started… Harper and Rowan will make the Usos pay for their interference last night. Rowan tells everyone to follow the buzzards… A short promo, but Harper was great in it…
For the record, the last 4 matches combined may have went 10 minutes. One was a DQ, one was “comedy”, and then the Divas handicap thing… Some quality stuff here tonight…
-Commercial Break-
And the quality just keeps rolling on… I love me some Zeb Colter, but Adam Rose may very well be the worst thing I’ve seen in a while…
I don’t know if ANYTHING has ever annoyed me more than these Adam Rose “rosebuds”…
6. Adam Rose vs. Jack Swagger (w/Zeb Colter). Rose does a few counters and slaps Swagger’s ass each time… Adam finally goes to wrestling but takes a big boot from Swagger… Swagger with a submission, Rose escapes and makes the comeback… We get “CM Punk” chants as Adam Rose lands a Bronco Buster and the “Party Foul” finisher for what was almost a squash in 3:00…
More partying with the rosebuds….
– Byron Saxton is backstage with the Usos… They meet Rowan and Harper tonight and it’s non-title, which almost assures the Wyatts will win, and definitively assures that the match doesn’t even really matter… Short promo, but fun and shows off their personalities… Worked for me…
-Commercial Break-
– Lights go out, and when they come back on Rowan and Harper are standing in the ring…
7. WWE Tag Champs The Usos vs. Rowan and Harper. Non-title, which lowered my interest by about 80%… but the match should still be good, so that’s better than almost everything else tonight… The Wyatts works the taped ribs of Jimmy Uso early… Jey Uso tags in and takes over control, but he too eventually gets dropped by the Wyatts. Extended heat on Jey, with Rowan in there quite a while on the offense… Jey eventually crawls through the legs of Rowan and makes a diving tag to brother Jimmy… Jimmy sends Rowan to the floor, and the Usos double superkick Harper to the floor… The Usos have the Wyatts rethinking things on the outside as we take a break…
Back from break, the Wyatts are back in control of Jimmy Uso… Rowan misses a change in the corner and Jimmy follows up with the whisper in the wind dive off the top. Hot tag to Jey and Luke Harper…Jey hits the spinning Shelton Bejamin kick and then lands a flying butt to the head of Harper in the corner for 2… Rowan distracts Jey, and Harper comes back with a big boot for 2… Jey still manages to comes back with a dropkick from the middle rope and a Samoan Drop… Jey climbs to the top rope for the Superfly Splash on Harper, but Rowan tries to interfere and Jey dives outside onto Erick…. Harper then lands a suicide dive onto Jey… Jimmy Uso then hits a flying dive over the top rope onto Harper…
Harper rolled back inside, Jey comes off with the big splash from the top but Harper gets his knees up…. Harper charges for the big clothesline, but runs into a Superkick for 1….2….NO!!!! Harper kicks out!!!
Rowan blind tags in, but Jey almost pins him with a school boy… Harper and Jimmy Uso end up tossed to the floor, and Rowan nails a sitout Rock Bottom type move for the win in 16:00….
First half of the match felt a little slow, but given the time they were allotted I can see why… A really drawn out finish spot had lots of near falls and close calls… Not necessarily their best match against each other, but it was fine… Certainly the best thing thus far tonight…
– Apparently we have a Money in the Bank Qualifying Match next… Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio… Okay, that was abrupt…
-Commercial Break-
8. Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio. We know the winner of this match goes to Money in the Bank… I hate to think what this means for the loser… Ziggler’s the better choice for a ladder match, but they clearly like Del Rio better, not that it’s saying much… Del Rio tries the armbreaker early, Ziggler comes back with ten of the elbow drops he almost killed Jerry Lawler with… Del Rio comes back to work the arm… ADR tries a tilt-a-whirl but Dolph lands on his feet and hits a dropkick… Dolph with a splahs in the corner, ADR fights back but Ziggler hits the Famouser for a near fall… ADR with the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2, and climbs the top rope, but Ziggler jumps up and hits a FACEBUSTER OFF THE TOP…. But again ADR kicks out…
Some counters by both men, Ziggler tries the Zigzag, but ADR holds the ropes, Del Rio goes for the superkick but Ziggler ducks. Dolph tries for a jumping DDT, but ADR shoves him off and puts on the cross armbreaker for the submission in 6:00….
Yup, great booking here… Way to go WWE… Put over a guy that NOBODY cares about and won’t do crap in a Ladder match vs. a guy who is over with YOUR fan base and could only enhance the Ladder Match… Brilliant… I question those inside WWE’s ability to go with business over personal issues… It’s no secret someone, or a group of someone’s inside WWE don’t like Ziggler… Then why use him? Do they get off on screwing him around? Well that’s crappy business… Do they realize that he’s over and can actually enhance their upcoming PPV product but opt to go with a guy who is essentially the opposite? Where is any of that “smart business”? I know I shouldn’t be shocked at this stage, but seriously, sometimes I just get SOOOO disgusted…
-Commercial Break-
They replay last night when Cody Rhodes tells Goldust to get a new partner…
9. Goldust & Sin Cara vs. Ryback and Curtis Axel. Goldy’s partner tonight is Sin Cara… Story goes that Cody picked Cara… So what now? Goldust teams with a bunch of random jobbers and loses, so that Cody can “realize” Goldust was the weak link? Jerry Lawler and JBL discuss the Ding Dongs from NWA lore… Lots of Goldberg chants at Ryback tonight… Goldust looking good early against Rybaxel… But when the heels take over, Cody Rhodes is shown watching from backstage… Standing dropkick by Axel on Goldust… Ryback misses something and Goldust tags to Cara to the silence of the fans… Axel tags in and Cara goes flippy on him… Handspring elbow on Axel gets 2… Ryback interferes but GOldust disposes of him… Cara with an enzuigiri on Axel, but misses a somersault senton… Axel hits the twisting neckbreaker finisher for the win…
Goldust checks on Cara after the match…
-Commercial Break-
– Next we have Rusev in a “Hero of The Russian Federation Ceremony”.
Boy, they’re just squeezing everything they can into this episode….
Of course, we have Lana out first… “USA” chants during her promo… She comes back with the ever so clever “shut up”… Lana puts over Edward Snowden… and Vladimir Putin… Oh, Vince has been waiting years to have a reason to crap on a world leader, he’s eating up the Putin stuff no doubt…
Rusev is announced, wearing a suit and his hair slicked back, as he heads to the ring for his Russian Hero Ceremony… Rusev steps up onto a gold medal type platform. Rusev receives the Golden Star Medal… Rusev speaks Bulgarian or whatever as the fans respond with “WHAT?” chants…
Lana takes back over on the mic… She asks that everyone rise for the Russian National Anthem… As the anthem plays, confetti falls from the sky… Unfortunately, there’s no Nikolai Volkoff, though he should totally be involved…
-Commercial Break-
10. Roman Reigns (w/The Shield) vs. Randy Orton.
We’re reminded for the 475th time tonight that Batista has QUIT! Boy have they played that sound bite out in one night’s time…
It’s 11pm on the dot, and Dean Ambrose starts to talk… Not exactly leaving a promising amount of time for the main event… Rollins says it was adapt or perish, and the Shield adapted while Evolution perished… Reigns is ready to break Orton’s face…
Now I’m starting to wonder if the Batista quitting thing was a worked work… Meaning Evolution is up to shenanigans…
HHH stops in the aisle, and says he adapted… HHH says last night Plan A failed, but now it’s time for Plan B…
SETH ROLLINS TURNS… Well, of the three guys I didn’t see that coming… Rollins beats the crap out of Reigns and Ambrose with a steel chair…
All I can think is… Really? You turn Rollins before Ambrose??? The guy that does all of the big baby face spots turns on the natural heel Ambrose?
Rollins curb stomps Ambrose into a chair, and then hands the chair off to Orton who beats the crap out of Reigns with it before landing an RKO…
The Shield defeat all of Evolution last night, and Rollins thinks it’s a great idea to break away the next day? Without any real build? I don’t know where this is going other than some Rollins vs. Ambrose stuff, but this was bad timing and poorly booked IMO….
What an abrupt ending to the most over team/unit/faction in YEARS…. Stupid move… That’s WWE for you…
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WWE Raw “Backstage Pass” Post Show
– HHH, Orton and Seth Rollins are still in the ring standing over what’s left of the Shield… Alex Riley calls it the stupidest move ever… Couldn’t agree more… Don’t try to fix one of the few things that isn’t broken… And the abruptness of it all… Was this panic mode after the 2.6 rating last week? Whatever it was, I can name 10 reasons why this move was stupid at this exact point in time…
We go back and watch the turn again, Renee Young tries to interview Rollins but he walks away. HHH speaks briefly instead, pretty much what you’d expect… He’s smart, blah blah blah…
Panel continues to discuss the angle for the entire post show… And that’ll do it…
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