The “OH MY GOD!” Review: WWA “The Retribution” 2/9/03

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Retribution 2003-02-09 (Matches taped 2002-12-06 at Scottish Exhibition and Conference Center in Glasgow Scotland)

Champion: Vacant
International Cruiserweight Championship: AJ Styles

Andrew McManus is on the phone and someone tells him they will be there later tonight. Mike Sanders is in the office with him and he says that Sanders will be commissioner tonight. Some Scottish dudes come out playing bagpipes. Jeremy Borash introduces Disco Inferno as his broadcast partner. Disco comes down and dances a bit. Borash is also given announcing duties tonight.

Shark Boy vs. Frankie “The Future” Kazarian
Shark boy with some hip tosses and then he sends Kazarian over the top rope and hits a slingshot dive onto him. Back in the ring Sharkboy with an atomic drop then he bites the butt of Kazarian. He does the same to the ref which allows Kazarian to hit a leg lariat and clothesline. Kazarian with on overhead belly to belly and he goes into a chin lock. Sharkboy tries to come back but gets back dropped over the top and to the floor. Back in the ring Sharkboy again attempts to mount a comeback but he gets hit with a springboard leg drop. Kazarian comes off the top looking for another leg drop but he misses. Sharkboy now in control with a neck breaker for 2. Sharkboy with a super rana for 2. Kazarian with a pump kick to the face and then he hits back to the future for 2. Sharkboy gets his boot up on a corner charge and hits diamond dust for the win in 6.13. Pretty nice opening match.

Mike Sanders is out next. He gets booed on his way to the ring but then calls Disco a jackass right away to get the crowd on his side. Sanders then runs down some of the card including the main event for the title which Sting taking on Lex Luger. Joe E. Legend hits the ring and talks shit about the fans and Sanders. Eventually Sanders makes a match between the two for tonight. HAHA they go back to Disco and Borash at the announce table who take for a bit and then then Borash gets up and walks to the ring to announce the next match all on camera. So fucking bush league.

Nate “Spyder” Webb comes to the ring but once in it Perry Saturn appears and attacks him. Saturn tosses the ref hits a northern lights and power bomb on Webb. Saturn picks Webb back up and hits a DVD and then locks in the rings of Saturn.

Nate “Spyder” Webb vs. Konnan
Konnan comes out and covers Webb. The ref calls for the bell and makes the three count giving Konnan the victory in .03. Konnan joins the commentary team.

Teo shows up with flowers for Midajah and he asks her to be his valet for tonight. “Pimp Daddy” Puppet shows up and calls her his ho. They push each other and Sanders shows up and makes short jokes. He makes a match between them tonight with Midajah as the special ref.

Johnny Swinger & Buff Bagwell vs. Norman Smile & Malice
Smiley hits the ring and gets jumped. HAHA Borash is back on commentary and Disco blames him for getting Smiley beat up cause he hasn’t introduced his partner yet. Malice hits the ring and cleans house. Malice and Buff being. Buff nails Malice a few times but then gets spiked with a spin buster followed by a back breaker. Buff hits a chin breaker and tags Swinger in. Swinger though gets planted with a belly to back as Norman tags in. Smiley rolls through a backslide and hits a butterfly suplex. Smiley goes for a sunset flip out of the corner and Swinger hangs on to the ropes to block it. They ref though kicks Swinger’s hands away and makes a two count. I always hate that spot cause if I guy grabs the ropes to block something the hold should be broken. Smiley hits the ropes and Bagwell grabs his foot distracting Smiley just enough to get hit with a jaw breaker. Bagwell and Swinger tag a few times while Disco and Borash talk about all the other random black dudes Norman “looks” like. Fucking racists. Well the Warren Moon comparison is pretty spot on. Smiley finally able to make the tag and and match breaks down as all four guys go at it. Norman does the big wiggle on Swinger but gets hit with a low blow. Buff hits the blockbuster and Swinger covers for the win in 9.58 even though Smiley wasn’t the legal man. 9.58 was the time.

NWA Champion Jeff Jarrett is backstage and Scott D’Amore wants to know why he is here tonight. Jeff is there to beat up Nathan Jones.

Teo vs. Puppet, Special Ref Midajah
These guys have had two entertaining matches on WWA PPV so far. Puppet with the advantage early on. Teo with a head scissor and he beats away on Puppet as the crowd breaks into a loud “Teo” chant . Teo with a 619 but then he misses a second rope splash. Disco says it was the lowest high risk maneuver ever. HAHAHA. Puppet with an F5. Midajah with a slow 2 count. Two comes back with a missile drop kick from the second buckle followed by a swanton for the win in 3.21. Saturn hits the ring again and nails Teo with a “big” boot then slams Puppet. DVD on Teo and a rings of saturn on Puppet. Saturn gets on the mic and says he just signed a contract to join the WWA. Saturn then kidnaps Midajah.

Joe E. Legend vs. Mike Sanders
Legend with the early advantage but Sanders fights back and sends Legend to the floor. Sanders follows but back in the ring Legend regains the advantage. Legend all over Sanders but Sanders comes back and hits a neck breaker for 2. Legend though with a kick to the back of the head to put Sanders back down. Sanders is wearing a WWA shirt and on the shirt is a bunch of guys including Saturn. Even they he “just” signed a contract. Legend almost gets a 3 from a sky high. Legend keeps yelling “No, No, No” to which the crowd responds “Yes, Yes, Yes” and I’m all What the Fuck? Sanders with a belly to back as he begins his comeback. Legend cuts him off with a reverse DDT and then he hits a top rope leg drop. Legend covers but only gets 2. Sanders moves on a corner charge and hits a neck breaker for 2. Legend hits a curb stomp but Sanders kicks out. Legend misses a moonsault, Sanders misses a super kick, Legend goes for a stunner but gets pushed off and Sanders hits the super kick for the win in 9.13. Sanders gets on the mic after the match and adds Saturn to the Simon Diamond Sabu match.

Lex Luger is backstage and he talks about how they have been friends for ever. Luger is excited about their match coming up tonight. After Luger leaves Midajah and Saturn go by and Midajah asks Scott D’Amore for help.

NWA Champion Jeff Jarrett vs. Nathan Jones
Jones hits a tilt a whirl slam and then goes for a chokeslam. Jeff fights out of it but then gets hit with a side slam. Jones with a clothesline and both men go over the top to the floor. They fight on the floor a bit and back in the ring Jeff knocks Jones off the top rope crotching him on the top rope. Jeff locks in a sleeper. Jones fights out and Jeff wedges a chair in the turnbuckle. Jones with a samoan drop and big gut wrench suplex that takes them from one side of the ring all the way to the other. Pretty cool looking. Jones goes for a chokeslam on Jeff but the ref gets pulled into the way. This must make Jones really mad because he grabs the ref and hangs onto him for like 3 minutes and then throws him to the mat. Jeff comes back into the ring with a guitar and nails him with his guitar for the win in 5.43.

Simon Diamond vs. Sabu vs. Saturn (w/ Midajah)
Diamond bails to the floor and Sabu and Saturn go one on one. Saturn hip tosses Sabu over the top to the floor. Diamond now in the ring with Saturn. Sabu back in and he drop kicks them both out of the ring. Saturn back in quickly and he tackles Sabu. Sabu comes back with a springboard leg lariat followed by a springboard moonsault but the pin is broken up by Diamond. Springboard DDT by Sabu. Sabu gets a chair and dives onto both Saturn and Diamond who are now on the floor. Saturn and Diamond stall on the floor for a bit. Sabu throws a chair at Saturn and Diamond attacks from behind. Release northern lights by Saturn on Sabu followed by a suplex. Diamond back in with a russian leg sweep on Sabu followed by a submission. Saturn hits a springboard leg drop on Sabu. Saturn with a spin buster but Diamond breaks up the pin. Diamond with a belly to back on Saturn and the Simon series on Sabu. Saturn with a release northern lights on Diamond. Sabu throws a chair and both men taking them down. Sabu puts Saturn on a table but then turns his attention to Diamond and hits a super rana on him. Saturn comes back into the ring from the top rope with an elbow to Diamond. Saturn at some point was busted open by his eye and has blood all over him. All three men go back and forth. Diamond gets suplexed on the floor through the table. Saturn sets up another on and puts Diamond on it. Sabu comes off the top with a splash. Teo and Puppet hit the ring and go after Saturn with singapore canes. Midajah stops them even though they are saving her from slavery, allowing Saturn to get up and attack them. Sabu hits a russian leg sweep with the cane for 2. Saturn hits a DVD on Sabu but Diamond breaks it up. Now Puppet and Teo are back in the ring with Midajah and they rip off her dress and run off. Midajah and Saturn leave. Diamond with a reverse DDT for 2. Diamond comes off the top but Sabu throws a chair at him and then hits the triple jump moonsault for the win in 16.24.

Scot D’Amore is with Sting to get some words on the main event. Sting says pretty much the same shit as Luger.

Sting vs. Lex Luger
Luger charges and tries to attack Sting from behind but Sting moves. Drop kick and Luger bails to the floor. Luger back in and Sting hits a clothesline sending Lex back out to the floor. Luger gets a mic and says some stuff including that they are in “Glasgow, England”. Sting gets on the mic to let Luger know they are actually in Scotland. Luger pulls Sting out of the ring and Sting misses a stinger splash and hits the guard rail. Back in the ring Sting comes back but Luger gets his knees up on a splash. Both men collide coming off the ropes and then Sting falls with a head butt to the nuts of Luger. Sting with an inverted atomic drop followed by clotheslines and a face plant. Sting goes for a stinger splash but Luger pulls the ref in the way. Jeff Jarrett hits the ring and nails Sting with a guitar but Luger only gets a 2. Luger goes for the torture rack but Stings’s foot hits the ref knocking him back down. Jarrett again in the ring nails Sting with another guitar and puts Luger on top for the pin and title in 7.17.

Borash and Disco wrap it up.

My thoughts on the show.
This felt like the type of show that if you were at live you would leaving talking about how it was fun and then not remember anything at all the next morning. Everything was just so blah. Also how do you have Sting not win his first TV match back in 18 months!!

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